Mar 23 2007Victoria Beckham is starting a book club

Great. Another size 0 model.

How about we have some normal sized people, Fish?

Katie thought it was a great idea because she thought it would finally give her an excuse to get out of the house, and away from her insane husband. It could also be a hat.

doesn't she not read?

She can read?

FOURTH!!!! NOT FRIST!!!

Katie will only be allowed to bring Scientology books and will have to hide the ones that Victoria lends to her.

Am I the only one who doesn't care about this?

Dang.
That is some bad hair.

I did read where she said she has never read a book. This "club" should be a real winner.

Is William Shatner's son trying to stuff her in the trunk of the VW Golf TDI? Another day in Posh's bizarro world I suppose.

That's odd. If I try to do a search it just sends me back to the top page.
Anyone else notice this? Try typing in a search. How do I tell Fish about this?

Coffee, cigarettes and donuts.
Would you give that stuff to your dog?

First.

she actually looks like she has a double chin in that first picture...amazing considering she has no fat on her body

They're talking about a COMIC book club - right? I mean, The Fantastic Four would be like A Midsummer Night's Dream to those three.

Lesson 1 - read monograms on towels, acronyms on clothing labels, and the fine print on her sunglasses.

Lesson 2 - invite Linsday Lohan to read from her new bible book.

Lesson 3 - invite Tom Cruise to read Scientology passages...but be very patient and forgiving because he's dyslexic

Lesson 4 - kick out Tom Cruise due to unruly behaviour during 'sharing time'

Book club? BORING
Fight Club??? FUCKING AWESOME

Hey orange you all glad she's white again?

On Absolutely Fabulous Patsy and Edie had a celebrity book club where they read Star, In Touch and Hello! magazine.

I imagine this book club to be like that, except with more talk of Xanu

Also, aren't the Beckhams and the Lopez-Anthonys the two couples that Cruise is trying to convert to Scientology?

"Book club" is Hollywood slang for Lesbian Fuck-Fest - at least in my mind and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.
Posh looks a little hammered in these pictures. Speaking of that, I wouldn't mind hammering her a little.

This is what bored rich people do? I'd rather be the bored poor person I am now, its more gratifying.

Victoria is going to see this picture and end up cutting her ears off because they are so fat. Go on a diet woman you're hideous!

#17, that was so cheesy but I still laughed :)

A MONTH?! To read just one book?! Considering that Katie and Posh have nothing better to do but Shop all day and not eat they should be able to go through a book every two days.

Hell, 11 year old kids can devour an 800 page Harry Potter Book in under 24 hours for shits sake. Just how dumb are these Douchebags?

Oh, and by the way, She's fat.

Oh yeah, she does look hammered...oh well, that's how I'll be lookin tonight after the margaritas. Except a LOT less bony and way prettier (my mom says so)

How do I sign up for Fight Club???

Dr. Seuss FTFW!

that ring is stuck to her finger cause its so tacky

Anyone else notice that only her left had has fake nails... then look at her right hand, they are short and natural? By keeping one hand natural - is that her attempt to "keep it real" - considering nothing else about her is real? HAG!

Good lord... Like this cut-face trout lipped freak can read....

StoneRose, kudos on the Lindsay Lohan reference. apparently books are the new accessory.

All of this cannot be true, because J-Lo lives about 2 minutes from me in Long Island, and to my knowledge the other tiny stick women live in LA.

um, jet engines are this recent cool invention that, when combined with the lift-creating capabilities of wings, allows people to fly places really really quickly.

Où est le Schack? du martini ?

Sorry, couldn't help myself.....

#29 Nope she ain't keepin SHIT real. In that first pic, the "right" hand belongs to her chauffer. Both her hands have makeup on them, worry not! Although....if she were to join Fight Club with me, I'll bet those nails of hers would get MESSED UP!!!!

i don't know frist. i'm betting you're fierce, but those nails are like satan's talons, since satan is a bird...

içi, mon chère! i don't get the martini thing, sorry, but i'd have one w/you.

I like to think in the first picture she's saying
"dur dur dur, I like tater tots."

chèr! goddamnit

i've never heard her speak. but i've been beckhomed, so i'll ttyl, mon chèr. bye frist- you should see al gore movie this weekend. if you don't love it, i'll mail you 20 bucks.

come on you guy's the books are not for reading she's just collecting them so that one day she will be able to see over the steering wheel.

oh, NO!

Demain, nous aurons martini. Bu au travail est amusant.

What? But I WORK for Satan....of course those nails are coming off...and her ugly fucked up nose hoowahhh hahahaha

I'm so glad it's Friday!!!!

20 bucks?!? DEAL!!!!

So cute...

And come of it, everyone knows celebritys say crap like 'I have never read a book' as it makes the seem less unrealistic to the avaerge American pop idol watcher.

What wasn't widely reported- all of the books to be read are about Posh Herself.

Who is this lady and why does she look like a drunken knome?

She's a soccer mom, but formerly a famous white rapper who was ridiculed for not being gangster enough and forced into retirement, you know....Spice Spice, Baby

Oh, wait I'm thinking of Vanilla Ice

I love you FRIST, that was good!

I heard they were reviewing Mel Gibson's new book... "Fucking Jews and Mexicans need to make their own movie!" (With a forward by Tom Metzger, 'White Aryan Race' founder)

Sometime in the late 60's Andy Warhol fucked a pig, nine months later the world had Victoria Beckham.

But seriously I think this book club is a good idea. The three of them gathered around a book all night trying to find Waldo keeps them off the streets at least.

Is this sad act trying to reinvent herself as an intellectual because shes got an English accent! PUUHLEEEEZE she can't even write let alone READ, except for maybe Hello and OK, but even then she only reads the pictures!! WOOF WOOF Victoria!

why does she insist on keeping that fat nose? everything else on her had been reduced to the bone, why not that snout?

It worked! Scientology cured Tom's dyslexia and now it's taught Posh to read! I knew she couldn't resist him and his Thetan.

I'd love to be invited into this book club.
And ladies the first week - the Crayolas are on me ! x

I think her nails (the clear left hand view) look nice. At least she doesn't have those nasty Fergie/Pam Anderson/Barbra Streisand square-cut horribly fake-looking ones.

Square-cut nails just have CHEAP FAKE HO written all over them.

Ah the real life desperate housewives of Hollywood.

I see divorce in their futures.

These women having a book club is sufficient motivation for me to write a book and somehow get it into their little club. It would be called "When your a scrawny/tall/big assed whore and your husband is a midget/prettier that you”

Chapters
-----------
*Your husband is a “gay”
*Dead animals don’t look good on people
*Breasts should be soft
*Your house isn’t haunted your ass just knocks things over
*Your husband is a “crazy”
*You can’t smile because you’re dead inside
*You should have married Pacey
*Even Dawson would have been better
*Your husband is thinner and shorter than you
*Your big protruding bones make you look heavy
*Eating food is good, eating horse vitamins is bad
*You know you miss Bennifer
*Even the taco bell dog would have been better
*You can’t sing and you never could
*Your career is over
*Your husband isn’t attracted to you
*Tom and David are in love and Marc is their bitch

See Spot run. Run Spot run.
Tom and Jane see Spot run.

NEXT: The Cat in the Hat.

Tom 'loves the cock' Cruise will make sure that the only book her club is ever allowed to read is L. Ron Hubbard's masterpiece: Dianetics.

Dick and Jane oughta be a good start for all of them...

in the 3rd small picture she actually looks hot. cause you can see her eyes. plus she looks like a rich bitch in that pic instead of a stuck up bitch like she usually does

She needs to spend some money to get that pig-snout nose of hers fixed! OINK! OINK! SEWEEEEE!

How can you be anorexic and have a double chin?

Oh yaaa... it's called skinny-fat. Sick. Work out woman. I can't stand lazy ass chicks that won't work out and just starve themselves. Meanwhile girls that work out look better and they go out to eat they'll actually eat more than a fracking salad.

she drives a vw?

#63, are you a Galactica fan as well?

THIS is the last news of the week? Lame.

Must be a slow new week in Hollywood.

More like

Lesson 1-Atkins Diet book
Lesson 2-South Beach Diet book
Lesson 3-Low-Carb Dieting For Dummies
Lesson 4-Special guest Lindsay Lohan who explains and demonstrates the slimming effects of recreational drug use

Who Cares?

Beckem's publicist must be a dumbass who needs to be fired if this is the best thing he could think of to get publicity. And which magazine was stupid enough to print this crap? If I'm gonna get stupider by reading thier crap, then at least make it entertaining.

Hopefully, someone in the staff of one of these future MENSA members will inform them that a Speak and Spell is not actually a "book."

What's she been chewing on or biting??? Check out that mega-overbite!

# 57 iamsosmrt

LOL!!!

But you left out the Chapter of....

Your husband used L. Ron Hubbards Sperm and your baby is his love child

I'll expect J-Lo to speak soon british as well.Instead of 'holy madre' she'll say 'by jove' soon.As a good girl she'll probably study lots of cuisine- and cookybakingbooks.Don't be too much impressed by these British bitches Hollywood.Any british redneck back in england speaks british ofcourse.

The book they'll probably start off with is "Thomas the Little Engine that could", then Katie's will be "Scientology And Your Wife:how to keep that bitch from leaving the house 101" and J.los will be "Confessions of a Butt Botoxologist"

Victoria Beckham says she has never read a book in her life

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4156744.stm

Maybe David will wanna join in with his coloring-in book.

#73, NICE. It's funny because it's true.

I knew it looked empty without a chapter relating to the big pile of crazy that is scientology.

How about one last chapter:

*If there really are aliens you douches are the last people they would hang out with

#65,
To be honest I watch the occasional Veronica Mars and they referenced Battle Star Galactica and it's swear word of the future. I quite enjoyed it, it has a nice ring to it, and I'm trying to work on my potty mouth because I am a lady ...
who swears a lot.

she used to be hot...like 20lbs ago!!!

http://mike-oliver.com/kimktorrent.htm

...................but she dosen't know how to read............I can't wrap my mind around it.

hey look she got a bra slip!

the way things appear to be developing, I wonder if it's a "how-do-we-save-Katie-from-this-scientology-mess?" club instead, using the guise of "book club" as a ruse?

Why doesn't she start an anorexic pig-nose group?

They should start by reading my book: The Verge of Psychosis: An Aspiring Actor's Journal. It will be a good introduction to Hollywood for her.

I'm so awesome.

Those girls are multi millionaires. why the hell they choose such stupid low cost activities..if I was rich like that i'll be amusing myself in a personally rented theme park or fucking make a huge private party in an Aqua Club with only naked prostitutes.

#2 "It could also be a hat."

HAHA! Family guy.
That's awesome.

I'll bet when they're visiting Victoria's house they'll get high tea while being surrounded by a fake librarymovie-set.

I've been trying to get my friends to start a book club for years. Maybe if I tell them the all the cool kids are doing it now too, they'll finally get on board!

How can she host a book club? Won't she accidentally show her teeth if she talks?

Yay! Guess what my boyfriend got me for my birthday??? Yup, an STD! Thank god he's the "adventurous" type, I would have hated to have just the standard symptoms. To all you girls out there who think it might be fun to try something new with your boyfriend, consider this discription of my new constant companion:

"Symptoms of rectal infection in both men and women may include discharge, anal itching, soreness, bleeding, or painful bowel movements."

Now that's hot! (literally)

I would say, they should just stick to movies...books are a tough thing for them :)

I'll expect when they're visiting the beckham's home,David will park his Porsche Cayenne just in front of the door.When they're entering the frontdoor he'll push a couple of times on his remotecontrol of the locks of the car.Just to impress girls like Jennifer and Katie Holmes...

Lemme guess: this oinky bitch's first required reading assignment will be Animal Farm.

Now there are some words I never thought I'd ever see together.....Victoria Beckham and Book Club.

This will be a great opportunity for Tom Cruise to prove he's cured from dyslexia.But big chance he'll jump after a couple of minutes on the couch while David Beckham get his toycars and physician's outfit to play with.

How can someone never have read a SINGLE book in their life? Seriously? Didn't she have to read any literature at school or something? Did she even GO to school? *lol*

I'm not the least bit surprised that Katie Holmes would be excited about this. Seriously, I think any excuse for Katie to get out of the house and away from Tom is a blessing for her!!! Or maybe this whole "book club" thing is a lie and it's actually going to turn in to an intervention for Tom Cruise. Come on Victoria, I know you can cure him from his Scientology craze. And if not you, I'm sure he'd listen to David Beckham, especially if he made some cute pouty faces at him and asked pretty please while batting his eye lashes.

On an un related note, Fifty Cent will be staring in Shakespear in the parks production of Hamlet.

oh my god. i just love VB and everything she has ever done. She is so talented that she would easily win American Idol 6. Simon would just love her. By the way; I'm a little confused. If you like to look at other men's penises, does that make you gay? PLease answer because the uncertainty is just killing me.
A lot of love to you'al.