Mar 19 2007Tara Reid to open her own fast-food restaurant
Tara Reid is starting up her own fast-food joint called Ketchup and plans to open it in Los Angeles on March 31. She says:
"You probably won't see me behind the cash register, but I'll definitely be in the kitchen making sure everything is done right."
I know she has some experience in the restaurant business (she's also invested in Bella, Geisha House and The Shore), but she's not mentally capable of running a restaurant. The chef will be grilling a hamburger and she'll step in and go, "No, no, like this," and she'll pick it up and put it on her head. Then she'll walk around and squeeze ketchup on everybody while screaming "Pillow fight!"
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Reader Comments
1. Viola - March 19, 2007 7:59 AM
Whatever
2. HerpesHilton - March 19, 2007 8:01 AM
You'll be able to order plate-sized nipples with a healthy side-order of no-shame.
3. Fifth Stooge - March 19, 2007 8:05 AM
Oh.
4. MrSemprini - March 19, 2007 8:06 AM
Over 2 billion customers ignored almost immediately.
5. waitnotyetdamnu - March 19, 2007 8:16 AM
Definitely order the "TaraBelly Chili" it's excellent, lots of meat chunks. Plus like everything it's saturated with tequila.
6. bond - March 19, 2007 8:17 AM
wow, check out that schnoz. she should think about getting that fixed. although if it turned out anything like her boobs after she fixed it, she probably should just leave it alone...
7. GooniesNeverSayDie - March 19, 2007 8:22 AM
I'll have 2 large gallons of milk to go, please....
8. mrs.t - March 19, 2007 8:23 AM
Who the fuck dresses her? Look at that top-I have to assume the idea was to accentuate her horrific boob job. What else could the stylist possibly have in mind with the single diaganol betewwen-boob strap, and the other strap going inside the top, leaving her already mangled chest looking even more bizarre. He was all "Girl, everyone knows its a mess under there-let's work it!" (Three snaps in the Z formation)
9. mztry - March 19, 2007 8:23 AM
Good luck to her...
YOU PEOPLE SUCK!
10. mrs.t - March 19, 2007 8:24 AM
*between
11. Gum Dumpster - March 19, 2007 8:25 AM
She should Ketchup to whoever's in charge of her plastic surgery and beat them to death
12. jrzmommy - March 19, 2007 8:25 AM
She was destined to a life of repeating "You want fries with that?"
13. didey23 - March 19, 2007 8:27 AM
someone give this girl a bra PLEASE!!!
14. thebor - March 19, 2007 8:28 AM
It should be called Ketchup at the Y, or the Ketchup Taco, or The Tomato Tampon.
Just some ideas for ya.
15. BarbadoSlim - March 19, 2007 8:28 AM
This sounds like a great idea! You know what else is a great idea? Taking that sex tour of Haiti, condom free!!!!
16. elizabeththewellread - March 19, 2007 8:32 AM
I was just thinking that she doesn't look completely disgusting in this phot. Not great, of course, but at least I don't want to vomit.
17. Hecubus - March 19, 2007 8:37 AM
Wow she's really helping her community. If there's one thing LA is in desperate need of it's more fast food. (hard to sound sarcastic in print)
18. MrSemprini - March 19, 2007 8:45 AM
Is her right boob in a sling or what? Man, I just pooped my underpants, just a little bit.
19. wronghole - March 19, 2007 8:54 AM
She broke her right boob when she ran into a sliding glass door at her new restaurant.
20. KatieKates - March 19, 2007 8:54 AM
Actually, she's just investing in the restaurant. Who in their right mind would want Tara Reid associated with their establishment?
And what the fuck is up with her shirt?
21. bungoone - March 19, 2007 8:58 AM
that shirt is strangling her right boob. maybe it will cut off blood flow & fall off. then she'll get a boob job done right, hopefully. but probably not...
22. ph7 - March 19, 2007 9:05 AM
"Ketchup"?
Who the fuck eats ketchup?
23. Mr. Poopillo - March 19, 2007 9:06 AM
check out the new picture of terda peed i just drew!
24. MissAntithesis - March 19, 2007 9:10 AM
She always looks entirely too happy to be accosted by paparazzi. Is anyone else creeped out by that?
25. FRIST!!! - March 19, 2007 9:11 AM
The name of the restaurant needs help...well, so does she. Does her PR guy actually think this will boost her career?
I wouldn't eat there. I heard all her lipo fat is used for the fries...
26. veggi - March 19, 2007 9:11 AM
boooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
27. F-Sucker - March 19, 2007 9:23 AM
Stick it in her pooper.
28. DrPhowstus - March 19, 2007 9:38 AM
I have no idea how it happened, but my dick grew legs and arms, unzipped itself, and ran the fuck off. Thanks Fish. Stupid sloped shoulder, dimpled belly, mismatched made by Dupont titted, alcoholic beeotch.
29. fame is funny - March 19, 2007 9:40 AM
How's she supposed to be involved in a restaurant if she can't even get her OWN breast meat done right?
30. Sho'Nuff - March 19, 2007 9:41 AM
#5
HA HA
I can't wait to be the first one in line to have Tara ask me if I would like to "Stupid Size" my order.
Good job you no-talent knock kneed plastic surgery reject! Did that sound mean? Sorry, Great job......
31. crabbie - March 19, 2007 9:44 AM
Wow. The Superficial is all over the big stories as usual. Tara Reid opening a restaurant. Yeah. That's way bigger than a picture of Paris Hilton stroking Cee-Lo's wang.
32. PunjabPete - March 19, 2007 9:46 AM
What? No Bri Bri story? Here you go Fish...
I am sure you will fail to mention this when you post it up later....
Bri Bri Knocking Boots in the Shubs
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/0319britneyromp.html
With anyone who can get it up...
33. veggi - March 19, 2007 9:57 AM
did you know simon cowell turned down $100,000 to watch a couple do it?
And you're right, Brit is a rehab ho.
34. Luv717 - March 19, 2007 9:57 AM
What the fuck is up with her whacky tits? They look rediculous and uneven in that aweful peasant sheath.
35. D'arcy - March 19, 2007 10:22 AM
I'm scared of whatever she's got hiding in her bra.
36. schack - March 19, 2007 10:22 AM
#17. i agree with you. the fast food market is pretty much saturated... so, basically her project is going to fail. (yay!)
UNLESS she markets a line of food which either (a) can't be digested, or (b) is loaded with laxatives. somebody's gotta feed L.A.'s bulemic-orange-innerthighless-cokeswhore population.
37. Spindoc - March 19, 2007 10:25 AM
Will they be cooking the food in the fat sucked out of her ass or will she just ring last nights semen load out of her panties each morning?
38. Nikk The Templar - March 19, 2007 10:29 AM
MMMM....Herpes, whiskey, cigarettes and shitty fashion taste with every value meal.
39. HughJorganthethird - March 19, 2007 10:33 AM
What's with the neck on this ho? it's like her big fake tits dragged everything above them a few inches lower.
40. schack - March 19, 2007 10:41 AM
she couldn't be wearing an uglier shirt
41. schack - March 19, 2007 10:42 AM
39. she always had a weak chin.
42. TrimSpaBaby - March 19, 2007 11:22 AM
#9 What the hell is it with you, mztry? You're on here giving every celebrity assbag your undying support and then saying we all suck. If Tara Reid vowed she wasn't gonna shit for the rest of her life and instead just hold it in to make her tits bigger and even out her ripply gut, you'd be right there burning your Charmin in sympathy and wishing her luck. And telling us we all suck.
43. Dr. Mean - March 19, 2007 11:28 AM
I preferred the original restaurant name, Droopy's.
44. Truthseeker013 - March 19, 2007 11:55 AM
"Ketchup". Stroke of naming genius, there. I'll be over in the corner, kicking myself for selling the rights to "Mustard" and "Relish".
45. wink - March 19, 2007 12:39 PM
FLASH....New hit show set to open on The Food Channel..........or not ! !
46. Carsten5577 - March 19, 2007 12:58 PM
Who's the swarthy greaseball?
47. imran karim - March 19, 2007 1:37 PM
way to go fastfood
imran karim
48. illkarate - March 19, 2007 2:15 PM
She decided on "Ketchup" for the name? Why not "Tarable"???
49. Ithrowball,youleave - March 19, 2007 2:45 PM
#28, Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks she's shaped like a penis. What kind of in-bred genes cause shoulders to slope like that? Looking at her reminds me of my first lil' pink vibrator...
50. Surria - March 19, 2007 3:40 PM
She looks like a fucking bobble-head! Seriously, isn't her head big enough to snap her neck?
51. Saera - March 19, 2007 4:30 PM
she cannot pull those glasses off.
52. Conky - March 19, 2007 5:42 PM
Just what LA needs... another place selling $12 hamburgers.
53. daylin - March 19, 2007 6:00 PM
I was having intercourse with my grandmothers purse today, but at least that is more acceptable than Tara Reid slinging meat! Gawd our luck she will read the expiration dates ass backwords and give everyone a horrible case of food poison!
Eh, yeah this comment sucks!
54. fame is funny - March 19, 2007 8:21 PM
Any reason why her neck is about 3 feet long?
55. techclerk - March 20, 2007 6:35 AM
This brings to mind my favorite Ronald Reagan quote, "Ketchup is a vegetable."
Proven once in 2004 and proven again today.
56. techclerk - March 20, 2007 7:09 AM
Would you like to D-cup size that combo?
57. techclerk - March 20, 2007 7:12 AM
Excuse me. These fries are cold, limp and saggy, but I can see you have your own problems, Miss Reid.
58. techclerk - March 20, 2007 7:21 AM
It is nice to see that there is justice in this world and Tara ultimately ends up where she was supposed to be... the kitchen of a fast food restaurant. The universe wins again!