Mar 9 2007Salma Hayek is engaged and pregnant

first time being first!!!

Ha! first!

she's jump the shark.....twice already

damn, I really thought I got it...

next time Mease ... ;)

yikes...why is she wearing a sheep dog on her head?

Is that Minnie Driver in the background? It's like Highlights for adults.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'll be in mourning now...

To think that a few years back I actually wanted her to suck the blood from my cock.

Is it just me of is the superficial a lot less fun these days than it was just a few weeks ago..?

She is going to be fat, sloppy, Krispy Kremes and supersize meals, let yourself go pregnant.

Lucky fucker. Still, I had my money on the Penelope Cruz and the turkey baster.

Pregnancy agrees with her about as well as it does Tori Spelling...she's a bloated wreck.

That purple tent she's wearing is not flattering. She looks like Barney the Dinosaur's slutty overweight cousin, Flabbitha.

She's not pregnant. She's smuggling in one of her nieces.

Why does Fudgie the Whale come to mind?
Somebody get me a harpoon.

i said poon.

@10
Well, Britney's in rehab, and Parasite is lying low because of all the trouble she's gotten into lately, Stickole has a new man occupying her time, and Lohan is trying to convince everyone she is clean and sober, so that leaves boring people like Gaguilera, Madge, b-listers in bikinis, and pregnant models. No need to worry...one or more of them will break soon. Lohan is already showing signs of cracking.

Good boobs, bad hair.

this is not happening! No, Salma, NOOOOOOO!

Let's see her try pouring beer down her leg and into someone's mouth when she's 8 1/2 months pregnant. While wearing heels. Betcha it won't be easy.

Middle eastern women tend to get fat when they start having kids... boy, do they get fat!

10- It's not just you, perhaps its in direct relation to Selma's attractiveness a few weeks ago and now.

Salma Hayek's pregnant?! Wait shes Mexican right? I'm surprised she waited this long?! That Geo Metro ain't gonna fill itself up with 8 kids, 2 grown women, and 1 grandmother.

Salma looks much like my grandmothers foreign maid that used to leave erotic post-it notes in my bag, saying that she fantasized about bathing me in my blow up pool in the front yard!

Please Fish dudes, could you put up some sweaty mens with nobody to turn to but each other pics, aka McConaughey and friends. Cause I'm about to get my ass chewed out (not literally you pervs), and it would brighten my day just a bit.

When she walks down the street, are there people yelling, "ALL HAIL DARK HELMET!" ???

that's right, put in work
move your ass, go bizzerk
eat your salad, no dessert
get that man, you deserve

courtesy of "Kanye's Workout Plan".

Poor Salma, She's gonna be all bloated the whole time, that sucks. I know I'm getting over a pregnancy now (like its a disease or something) although in her case it looks like that too

@24 Awesome reference. Good one.

Man, those shoes are hideous. When she has that baby, she's gonna smother it when she breast feeds it with her HUGE knockers!

P.S. Nice 80's hair.

Wow, those sweater kittens are gonna be full blown sweater cats....soon they'll be so large, they'll have their own zip code

has anyone seen her fiance? it's definitely not what i expected. but i guess when she walks around lookign like this, you take what you can get.

i love the celebrity engagement/pregnancy combo announcements!

She's a beautiful lady, but now that someone has gone and planted a roast in her oven, she's looking a bit portly & puffy. OOPS there goes another beauty.

Lookit those big giant cans.

Oh dude, ass in pic 3

That's gonna be one lucky baby. I'd pay good money and kill my best friend to suck on them titties.

She looks like the lady she'll hire to take care of the baby.

GOT MILK? Hell yeah!

#29 I am thinking sweater panthers. In fact, I vow to call all boobies 'panthers' from now on.

If they are that big now, how big will they get? FF? GG? HH?

The mind boggles.

Just how pregnant is she.....she looks overdue.

jesseeca, yeah, he's one ugly fucker, but then, he's also one very rich fucker, and she can always close her eyes and imagine it's still josh lucas and pretend when it comes to that much money.

what the fuck, all of a sudden shes knocked up? when did she ever get a boyfriend?
I thought she was dyking it out with that skinny ass Penelope Cruz

Long time reader, first time troller. What the hell happened? Usually when I hear the name Salma Hayeck, I know my wang is about to become all huge-a-fied, but then this happened.

She was doing so well too... 40 years old, still hot a hell and inspiring hard ons everywhere.... She can forget those days now... I predict she gets all Kirsty Alley and never comes back to hotness....

This is a great example of "Shit Happens".

Oh, for -- guys, that's Salma Hayek in a FAT SUIT. Jeez.

Why in the hell is there a cocker spaniel on her head and two foreign cars on her chest?

@20 - middle eastern? wtf

holy tit.

I would love to fondle those and suck some milk out of them.

*******I love this website, but jeez, give a pregnant woman a break. You get pregnant, your body swells. Big deal.

#30

it doesn't matter what you look like when you are a billionnaire. don't you people get it? worrying about looks is for poor people who can't afford plastic surgery. she's marrying a billionaire. they probably fucking had the fetus designed by gucci. if the baby comes out looking like an alien, they can have it fixed to look like a supermodel in no time. you'll be none the wiser cause that's how ballin ass billionaire's do it.

the man has enough money to bring all of her family across the border. i'd marry a fucking three legged giraffe with pinkeye if it had a billion dollars. fortunate for her he's rich because mexican women don't snap back well after pregnancy.

Waddle Waddle Waddle

@ #20, she's not middle eastern ...she's Mexican.

*chk-CHK*... BOOM

That, my friends, would be the sound of a shotgun wedding!

she looks like Benicio del Toro in a Fruit-of-the-Loom commercial's grape suit, except he shaved his legs and tied doorstops to his feet.

His father is the 74th richest person in the WORLD. I would hit that...Hell, I'd even hit the father.

Its John Painz baby. He has super duper sperm and he rules.

Look at this picture of this guy. What a doofus.

http://www.ppr.com/front__sectionId-356_MagId-354_PubliId-7475_Changelang-en.html

First, Salma IS Middle Eastern. She's part Lebanese.

Second, why is everyone bashing her? She's pregnant for God's sake, she shouldn't be super skinny!

she looks like Benicio del Toro in a Fruit-of-the-Loom commercial's grape suit, except he shaved his legs and tied doorstops to his feet.

She was in a lebanese relationship with Penelope Cruz.

First.

i want to say that she's not doing this for the money, because technically she has her own, but have you seen how old and ugly this guys is? i guess being a billionaire makes up for all the ugly.

Ow,she's engaged and pregnant.She's probably engaged because she's pregnant.But anyways,what kind of name is Salma Hayek?Sounds like a Harry Potter-movie name.

people, i don't care how much money this dude has. He certainly needs the money so he can afford the gallons of lube necessary to get a woman to have sex with him. otherwise penentration would be next to impossible.

@ #19 Actually, I would like to see that.

Very much.

Her grandparents were Mexicans of lebanese descent ...Who had her father. So that means she's not Middle Eastern, she simply has some roots there.

@63: So what if he's ugly? Dude's got billions and he's French, which means she's now practically required to have a little action on the side.

Well played, Hayek and kittens. Well played.

Frankly,this woman looks like a very fertile breedingmachine.

Her tits are of perfect quality.

Aww man.. Why do women let themselves go when they get pregnant..

Why do they get pregnant at all. Pregnancy is for ugly chicks.

Talking about Lebanese,how come many Lebanesian speak french?

Because Lebanon was a French colony or territory or whatever.

Because lebanese are cunning linguists.

i'm not digging the shoes

Why is Fish showing a pic of Chyna Doll?

If Lebanon was indeed a French colony then they've to take care of the safety and economics of Lebanon nowadays.Just as Belgium is doing with his former colony Belgium-congo and the dutch with the dutch-Antilles.

atleast she's appropiate.

you mean her boobies will get even bigger?
*shakes in fear*

and why is her hair like ginormus?
(god damnit i hate that word)

French=lot of noise and big talks but no action...

i love that 40 year old commoner turned actress named salma manages to seal the deal and get a billionaire to marry her meanwhile paris hilton, with her millions and "good breeding" hasn't managed to get married to any billionaire she's dated because their families think she's low brow and a promicuous daughter of an innkeeper. ah yes, the universe works it all out in the end.

She's my favorite. I don't care what anyone says, she's beautiful, even though she's short...5'2" ? I've loved her ever since I saw her dance with the python on From Dusk Till Dawn.

Are we sure Tom Brady isn't responsible for this? Apparently, he's made it his goal in life to impregnate as many hot chicks as possible. Just askin'...

Well, Salma has certainly looked better, but hey, I give pregnant chicks a pass. Those tay-tas are pretty magnificent (now), not sure what they'll look like post-baby, so enjoy them while you can. Drapey purple dress not flattering and the shoes make her feet look like hooves. In fact, this whole ensemble plus the hair sorta makes her look like one of those little horses. Just sayin'.
I don't know what her baby daddy looks like, I didn't look because I'm tired of pictures of ugly dudes. Esp. old ugly rich dudes. I wish women would stop reproducing with them. Don't they know that you marry the old ugly rich ones and screw the young hot ones on the side so your kids will be good looking? Jeez...

Can we all just agree than no woman should have a child before 35 years of age?

At 35, a females body is basically shot anyway, so might as well ruin it with a child. But from 18-35? There can no be no stealing the eye-candy from Men. Women of this age belong to us.

This is a travesty - it truly is.

Penelope will be such a good father!

^Doody

Big whoop. She was never all that anyway.

And don't celebrities do anything except make babies anymore?

@82:

Not to ruin the fun, but having a baby after the age of 28 exponentially increases the chances of the kid having Down Syndrome. Not to mention that older moms probably don't have the stamina to run after kids all day that a younger mother has, nor does the body have the ability to bounce back as well. So no, mothers really shouldn't be having kids when they're way older 28. If guys can't handle their wife turning into an amorphous blob post-childbirth, then they should've married someone who actually cares about their health and physical well-being, or just shouldn't have had kids.

#86- I'm pretty sure its after 40, not 28.

#86 It's more like after age 35, that's when amnio is suggested to rule out Down's. And using your argument, Britney is the perfect mommy, having her kids before age 25.
Get back to me with how that turns out, OK?

Nationality is not race, she was born in Mexico from a Lebanese father, she is middle eastern.
And her boobs won't grow more, they are fake, hasn't anybody seen what she looked like in the late 80's?.
But somehow she manages to avoid the trashy look many pregnant stars love, even with that hair.

#10 It's not just you! zzzzzzzz

She looks like Aughra from the Dark Crystal.

Boring.

Maybe they could change the name to "The Superboring."

#69 shame on you

Lebanon is in the Middle East - but so is Israel.
Hayek - definitely a Lebanese name.
Salma Hayek - Lexican.

Esmeralda, you're late. I told you to get some bread come right back home. Now take off that curtain, put it back up in the basement window, and clean the bathroom before you start dinner. And where did all those pastries go???

It doesn't matter if she's Middle Eastern or not! That's not why she's all overweight and disgusting! Mexican chicks go all to hell as soon as they start crapping out kids, too! You're all racists!

I admire her. This is a very smart move, using her uterus as a fishing net to catch a billionaire. Right at the last minute, too - her looks are going fast and she's trolling with some old eggs. Downside (no pun intended) because she's so old: in a few months, meet Corky Pinault, the down syndrome mexitard heir to the Pinault family fortune. So let's recap - droopy boobs with stretch marks and hardened nipples, sagging tummy hangover flap with stretch marks, widened pelvis, stretched and weaker vaginal muscles, episiotomy scarring...all to poop out a tard. In other words: CHA-CHING! Or, as the Lebanese say, "I wonder what's under that guy's vest KABOOOOOOOM oh god help me I've got shrapnel in my taint it burns!"

testing

When did Paul Stanley start taping balloons to his chest?

With a few exceptions, how ignorant can people be?...The woman is PREGNANT. She looks beautiful. She isn't doing anything wrong, she dosn't look gross. Don't any of you have any respect for mothers? Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, and not easy. If it wasn't for your mothers none of you would be here...show some respect.

How ignorant can people be?...The woman is PREGNANT. She looks beautiful. She isn't doing anything wrong, she dosn't look gross. Don't any of you have any respect for mothers? Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, and not easy. If it wasn't for your mothers none of you would be here...show some respect.

How ignorant can people be?...The woman is PREGNANT. She looks beautiful. She isn't doing anything wrong, she dosn't look gross. Don't any of you have any respect for mothers? Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, and not easy. If it wasn't for your mothers none of you would be here...show some respect.

This woman looks like she can give birth to many sons...

Her hair looks worse than mine on a rainy day. But other than that and the weird clothing choice, she's still gorgeous. Although I am seriously a little afraid of those gigantic mammaries. Gonna be one well-fed baby fo sho.

Great, all we need is another spic frog dropped in the USA. Puh-leeze, have it Spain or somewheres else!!!

I don't know what the dowry is gonna be.But the guy seems to be wealthy,that's why i'm thinking it's gonna be a healthy amount of the traditionally camels.If he can't find enough of these 'desertships' here in europe,he can contact me because i know a bunch of lamas for sale as a good substitute.

Bonjour comment il va ?Si tu as des lama's nécessaire,prendre contact alors avec moi.This is the prove i understand french as well.

Sorry for all of you out there who are perfect 24/7. It's not easy being pregnant. I'll bet half of you men wouldn't even make past the first month of a pregnancy. Vomiting everything you eat, bloating, weight gain and pissing every five minutes isn't attractive and doesn't feel great whether you're a celebrity or Jane Doe. Salma Hayek is gorgeous and doesn't look to have gained very much weight. The only reason she looks so crappy in these pics is because her hair isn't done and she's not wearing makeup. Give her an effing break - she's growing a human being. I'll bet you've looked a lot shittier for a lot less.

The shoes, the shoes, pleeeeze someone steal her ugly virgin shoes !

pregnant or not, I'd love to bury my face in those funbags.

She must have put a nipple under her pillow one night, because the titty fairy obviously paid her a big, fat visit!

I'll bet she knows all about cooking tortillas and doing the laundry.

Someone needs to tell her that the role for Betty in Ugly Betty is already taken.

107--it's okay, we're grown ups, you can say fucking.

86-not to ruin your fun but did you know that a lot of kids with Downs Syndrome are born to younger moms because they think they're in the clear because they're under 35 and then lo and behold, TA DA--out comes ol' wide eyes themself on birthing day. AND did you know that women who are in their 30s are much more prepared -- especially financially and emotionally- for undertaking parenthood? Ya see, 20 year olds don't really do so well in those categories because, well, they're 20 and they're only job has probably been at like Hot Topic in the mall and they can barely pay a car payment let alone a mortgage or an insurance premium....and they still want to party and "hook up", which is probably what put them in the "family way" in the first place. But once you've gotten your education and your career on track, once you've dismissed the silly thought that you need to go shot-for-shot with the 200 lb. guy at the bar, once you realize that your asscrack shouldn't hang out of your jeans unless you're a plummer, once you have your own health insurance and not on your parents'--shit like that--you're a little more prepared to put your own life on hold for a few years to raise kids the right way, albeit in slightly bigger jeans. True story!

jrzmommy,

I truly enjoy when so-called educated people go on a rant about how superior they are and then they proceed to misspell words. It's 'plumber' not 'plummer'. Also, there are 20 year-olds who are successful with children. Don't forget about your postpartum-depression-thirty-year-old-I-thought-a kid-would-fulfill-my-life-but-now-I'm-on-Prozac-and -I'm-fat-and-my-husband-is-sleeping-with-his-twenty-year-old-secretary moms. Those are my fav.

#114- Plumber.

I was referring to the members of Amanda Plummer's family, who are notorious for their public displays of asscrack.

115--Hey, my spelling issues can be easily corrected with a dictionary... you, on the other hand, have bigger fish to fry as being an asshole is permanent and there is no hope for you.

BIGGGG stretch to call her "Middle Eastern."

Her paternal grandparents were "Mexicans of Lebanese descent"... They were born and raised in Mexico, as was Salma. So Salma's Dad was half Lebanese, half Mexican.

She's 1/4 Lebanese, 1/4 Mexican, and 1/2 Spanish (her mom was Spanish) but born and raised in Mexico. She's more Spanish than anything else by blood, but she strongly identifies with Mexican culture since that's where she was raised. She's said as much in interviews. This is why she desperately wanted to do the story of Frida Kahlo herself...

Not sure why it matters. She's gorgeous, though she's not looking so good knocked up.

#72. "Because lebanese are cunning linguists."

Superfish, as usual your fans always know how to make me LOL in my seat. Very clever post, nice play on words. Totally made my boring as hell day.

good lord - can't she dig up someone any better than that frenchie sissy?