Mar 16 2007Ryan Seacrest is almost too straight

FRIST!!!

"ooogachuga ooogachuga!"

almost frist

are those women's yoga pants?

you're right, he's "almost" too straight.

Owwwwww, come on, guys! He's not ready to come out of the closet yet! Stop trying to rip him out of it!

so that's what wally looks like with clothes on.

That second pic is too damn funny!!!

But seriously, I don't actual think he's gay. Sure he's metro and a bit of sissy, but something about him makes me think he still like's tappin the ladies. Maybe he's in to some other bizarre shit, like he likes to dominated or call his partner mommy or something, but still, I think he gets down with the woman, not the men.

Is he rubbing his butt in that second picture because it is sore? Hmm...must be from all that exercise, the "jogging" I mean. Yeah. That's it. All the jogging.

@4
I think he bought those velour sweats at J-Lo's garage sale. I wonder what he did with the matching hoodie?

devil horns and lobster claws. i'm confused.

Seacrest: Out.

Considering that EVERY single magazine reports on red carpet events....has he EVER brought a date to ANYTHING?! Hmmmm he hasn't?

There was a old video on TV the other night (don't remember which show but it was on MSNBC, I think) of Ryan Seacrest excitedly rubbing olive oil--yes, olive oil--all over this body builder while interviewing him.

It was obviously an old video, but he was rubbing on that oil with excessive vigor.

I didn't actually think he could be gay until I saw that video, but I have to say... Liberace wouldn't have looked that happy.

OMG - I didn't know he was born in Atlanta GA.

OF COURSE he's gay. Atlanta's the South's San Francisco.

What can you say about a guy that is spreading his butt in front of another guy other than he is a Mo!!!

Butt buddies.

No, I'M FRIST!!! Ok, ok, I cannot wait for someone to be typing FRIST so fast that they accidentally type FROST!!! Then I'll have to change my name to FROST!!! and all that.
Anyway, yeah, he's gay. He's SO FREAKIN GAY!!! He used to date Terri Hatcher, and she looks like a transvestite, so...wait, who cares if he IS gay??? NEXT!!!

Looks like they're playing the air-saxophone in pics 1 & 3. The 2nd one...it's pretty evident he's batting for the pinkies.

I'm not saying he's gay, I'm just saying that his many attempts at a normal heterosexual relationship fail because he prefers men's assholes.

I found the video....

http://www.foundrymusic.com/media/displaymedia.cfm/id/14218/

He's building endurance for hours of hot hetero sex with a female lady who has a vagina.

Oh Holly that's just fucking WRONG.

I LOLed though!

I'm going to stab my co-worker with a fucking pencil in 3 seconds. Wish me luck.

he's just checking to see if he shit his pants and he's asking the other guy to look down and check for bootie dootie.

22 LOL!

Christ, My monitor almost burst into flames.
Hetero men do not "power-walk" together.

Fuck you guys.

-President, Ryan Seacrest Fan Club

Oh yeah #22? Come here and do my boss as well. I just found out that he can't afford to PAY me!!!!! And today's payday. I have freakin shitloads of bills piled up!!! KILL!!!!
I'm serious, does ANYONE have a fucking quelude, I'm about to go the equivalent of "postal" only at a law firm. What should we call that?

those are flare legged jogging pants. I have only ever seen women wear flare legged jogging pants. FAG!

You're working and not getting paid? Unless you're a landscaper or you're playing a gig at his nightclub, I'd say he's your pimp.

WTF?!? I didn't know I wasn't getting paid...he always paid me before. Just the last paycheck was 6 days late, and this time I have to wait til Monday? This is why if you own a business, you pay your taxes EVERY year. You can't skip a year and pretend 2003 never happened!!! What was he thinking?!? So the IRS is all up in his shit. Took all his money....blah blah, time for me to get a new job. Where's my lude?

Wait, who cares, Ryan Seacrest is a HOMO!!! LOL!!!!

check out the picture i drew of him on my blog.

hugs and poops,
mr poopillo

i'm sorry, frist. you SHOULD get another job. your boss obviously doesn't deserve you.

i live in a dream world.

you're so weird, poopillo. i get the concept. now you have to make the captions funnier.

Thanks, Schack...kinda looks like I HAVE to get another job...what a brilliant dumbass he is.
And I agree, Poopillo, that's gross and weird. To each his own.

C'mon, are there STILL any doubters out there?? Seacrest is dicksmoker, plain and simple. Questions?

@10 lol. that's good.
"like this?"
"No, it's like this"

I have the same problem with dingleberries, you must adjust. He's bi at best.

14, my queer hairdresser is from atlanta.
gay gay gay!

#36, yeah...so do you think Seacrest is gay?

lmao. thanks for making me funnier than i am. i just couldn't think of what else to write.

frist- i was gonna do a PhD in Philosophy, but after watching my brother die over christmas, i decided I'm gonna at least TRY to change the systemic problems in health care before retreating into the universities to play intellectual ookie cookie with all the herd-hating academics. so i'm gonna wrap up Masters and start prepping for law school. if i make it, i'll hire you just to sit around and talk to me :) it seems like we like all the same stuff

unfortunately that's going to be a few years from now at best :)

Suh-WEET. But by the time you get done with all that, I'll be a crazy cat lady living on the street, like the one on the Simpson's that will throw a damn cat at you just for looking at her!!!

But if not, I'll totally come work for you!!!

p.s. that's really what intellectuals do at top-universities... they sit around making fun of how stupid everyone else is

i love cats. especially fat ones.

Sorry about your brother...:(

well, he was never meant to live on earth anyway, if you know what i mean... but with psychiatry the way it is, he was a kid in a candy store. he went into status epilepticus, which means he was unconscious, and it started in his sleep... not too bad, i guess.

it's like a never-ending seizure

Was he older or younger than you?

he was 25. i'm 23.

i was home for break. i woke up cause i heard an infant screaming. i thought it was one of the cats. i ran downstairs and found him face down next to his bed, doing snow-angels with his limbs. i thought he was having a nightmare, but when i flipped him over his eyes were open... it wasn't HIM screaming, it was just a somatic thing, but i'll never forget that sound

My bro is 2 years older than me too.
So is this day EVER going to end? My boss finally left (without fracking PAYING me), and I'm so ready for my after work martini. Plus, this dial - up here is giving me a brain tumor!!!

well, not somatic- technically for him to be screaming, that means the seizure involved his frontal lobes- which aren't responsible for somatic functions...

you've gotta get earplugs, dude. i'm gonna take a shower- fuck the gym. and then go find my main squeeeeeeez and smoosh 'im.

Sorry, my responses are always going to be out of synch, due to the fact that I type like a 10 year old, and the dial up here.
So, that's pretty creepy, what did you do? Were you parents there?

my mom was home- dad was in hong kong. first i screamed at the top of my fucking lungs. i thought he might snap out of it, which woke my mom. she didn't really "get" what was going on and kept trying to talk to him. i called 911. they got there about a minute after his heart stopped, couldn't revive him. said that probably meant he was brain dead.

all the skin was rubbed off of the front of his toes. which means it must have been going on for a long time before i found him.

Why do I keep having to sign in? I never signed the fuck out!!!!!
Anyway...Oh my God!!! Sorry it was you to find him like that...
What drug was he on?

He's gay
Well, unless he is a woman.
Because i am pretty effin sure those are chick pants. and "ryan seacrest" please!
it's is obviosuly a stage name.
I think he is the middle sister from full house made up to be a man.

Hey if they can make gwennith paltrow into a fat chick in "shallow hal", then make jack black seem charming in "the Holiday" why couldn't they make ryan seacrest appear to be a man on American Idol?
5 o'clock shadows are easy to fake, believe me, i had fake pubes till i was 19

he was on klonopin, lemyctal, remeron, effexor, disulfiram, and he had been doing cocaine that weekend...

hey, if we decide not to sue for malpractice, i'll send you his klonopins, if you promise not to kill yourself :)

anyway- i'm gonna go. i look forward to talking again, and have a good weekend.

thanks for saying sorry, but i ten times would rather have found him like that than already dead.

Just because you wear faggoty pants to jog doesn't mean you are.....

Oh forget it.

Ryan Seacrest isn't even half as gay as most of these fucking posts are.

Wow... 63 was clever.
almost shut me up.. almost.

to that i respond: yes huh!

he's gayer you gaylord!

#27 - quit, file for unemployment benefits, call the department of labor AND the bar association - he'll squeeze the money out of his ass then!

caption for second pic.:
"Dude, right here, this is where my hemmorhoid is, right where you nailed me last night. I won't walk staight for a week!" "Oh yeah, thanks."

The only thing that would make Seacrest any gayer is a clone.

#38

Bis are not better!

what a shot

Suggesting that Ryan Seacrest is gay is offensive to all gay people around the world, but it is a fair suggestion. Every group has it's Elmo (short fuzzy douch). I think it's fair to say this guy has never had "sex with a woman". Accept if you count when he sneaks into Paula's dressing room puts on one of her dresses and then goes into Simon Cowell's dressing room and spanks his lap pinky.

Or if you count when Ryan and Simon have sex and Simon is wearing one of Paula's dresses or a skirt with his tight black t-shirt.

I bet Rymon have the keys to get back on the idol stage when it's closed and they sneak in to play dress up and senerade each other and then they do it on the judges podium.

He's jogging in those girlie sweat pants I see.

He's a total fag. If he would just admit that he craves the cock in nasty places, that would be best for him. Just admit it.

Men don't pose while holding their butt cheeks.

#64, it wasn't meant to shut you up, your comment (59) was on topic and actually kind of funny. Especially the part about the fake pubes. And especially amongst the dozens of star-crossed posts between the people who seem to be trying to turn this forum into a fucking dating service.

But you got a little *too* defensive, which kind of makes you gayer than a Dolly Parton Christmas.

Caption for second pic:
"look, if I spread my butt cheeks apart while I fart, it sounds just like the noise I hear when you stick your finger up my ass!" "Neat, huh?"

"Ryan Seacrest is almost too traight."

Lies! Insidious lies!

I would like to change Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell sweaty love-union name to SeaCow.

According to Wikipedia the "Sea Cow is an extinct large sirenian mammal formerly found near the Asiatic coast of the Bering Sea weighing between 4 and 24.3 tons Or spelled Seacow it is an unambiguously super gay, crappy music loving, homotastic duo found in the plastic Hills of Beverly weighing whatever two short gay botards weigh."

If memory serves me correctly I have seen a picture of an actual Sea Cow vacation on a beach somewhere with a creature known as Le K-Fed. Hmmmmm I guess they aren't extinct after all. So that's why they put that Sea Cow in captivity to protect it from extinction, I hope it's happy in that wildlife sanctuary.

Nicotine -

Yeah, there's a segment of these posters that just come in here to e-lick each other's e-genitals and quibble over who tastes the most like chicken.

Not sure why.

i dont get how it does not come out already. Do gay people just keep secrets better think about it their must be more gay people but blogs dont report it. straigh people if they as much look at another person its blind itemd or front page.

picture two caption:

"if you put your ear to it, you can hear the ocean..."

PONK! you saw Wally naked? I am so jealous. Thanks for ruining my whole fucking day.

DrunkBlogger: in comparison, I must say you are a "functioning alcoholic" after reading Ambrosia, who is obviously "knee-walking drunk"

Schack - i know. i really do. i am sorry for your heart. and i know that it doesn't matter that others have seen worse. when you are in the middle of your cherished one's pain, no other reality exists. you will never be the person you were before this happened, but the one you are now is so much more. it wasn't only jesus who died for someones' sins, he's just the most famous. the biggest consolation is that his life did count for something, didn't it?

I've always thought he was straight, I remember seeing him on Blind Date and his date was with a woman, that was before he was famous.

#83 - these people who create these gossip sites are "people in the know" and these people-in-the-know call him RYAN SEABITCH. Any woman he is seen with is referred to as a BEARD.

He was obviously sadomized by his "friend" just before the picture was taken, that much is certain. He loves rough anal sex, they say. (Who doesn't?)

#70 Ryan is not an insult to gay people, he's cute, and gay people SOOO never wear dresses during sex.

I don't know this guy,i thought he was Tom cruise doing some work-out with his trainer (read older gay-lover).

Exactly... which is why I don't think he's really gay, he's just terminally metrosexual.

If he's cute to some people so be it, I do not concur, nor do most people posting here. However no offense I make fun of all people equally.

Now if "gay people SOOO never wear dresses during sex" then what is a drag queen?

#70, Exactly... which is why I don't think he's really gay, he's just terminally metrosexual.

If he's cute to some people so be it, I do not concur, nor do most people posting here. However no offense I make fun of all people equally.

Now if "gay people SOOO never wear dresses during sex" then what is a drag queen?

Seacrest, out......of the closet

Seacrest out.....of the closet

he's holding in the flames that usually shoot out of his ass.

PS--he's a petite little thang.

Just because you don't see him one on one with a woman does not mean he is gay. It's the fact that you only see him one on one with guys....

Don't worry, either Lance Bass or Doogie Howser will rat him out within the next year.

#88 and Ryan is a drag queen?

If you have so much fresh goss then you should be the one writing the blurbs to go with the photos.

Yeah and like he's going to keep being on Entertainment Tongight or e-online or whatever it is if he comes out - the thing str8 people need to remember is if people find out you are gay their interest in you jumps str8 to zero - he couldn't make %40 of what he earns if he chose to come out.

40%

I think Ryan should wear a bra - he's such a phony

and when you're in drag you have officially become a "lady" so that doesn't count

his bf is cute...

I effin love Ryan Seacrest, but I'm not sexually attracted... like at all

Clarkson: Out!