Mar 27 2007Paris Hilton's virginity mystery solved

First. Just so no one else can have it

All of a sudden she likes to pretend she has boobs...it's silly.

Now That First crap is over. I've always wondered about Paris. I mean would you hit that or not. And disregard the myriad or diseases you would catch.

I don't understand. Did we just find out Paris is from the moon?

I shouldn't have drank so much last night... ugggg!

Bah, not a day goes by without something ridiculous revealed about this attention whore of a woman....a nasty woman.

I am really, really surprised that the general public hasn't made more, or at least some, of a big deal about Paris' breast implants. Those are not her ta-ta's!! Since when do boobs grow that much overnite and the media remains silent? Is this America anymore???

I'm trying my very best to keep my veggi sandwich down, but looking at that corpse fondle that alien transvestite induces my gag reflex.

hahahaha

nice dress, though- on the thing next to the corpse. really nice dress.

The new boobs are just another step in her gender reassignment...one day Paris you will be a 'real' woman.

Now is it me or has her sister got new mystery boobs too??

Maybe they got a 4 for 2 deal!?

When did Paris's boobs come?

I thought for sure she would have lost her virginity when she was 11 or 12. I guess she was probably the slut 6th grader touching boy's penises for lunch money. Not because she needed the money but because it looked good on her resume.

I like the one where she's dancing and all the guys around her are actually just ignoring her. And her watch is apparently ridiculously huge

Check out the feeders on Paris. Did she get those for her birthday or 'just because?'

so Firecrotch dying her hair fucking blond is more news, like all over the globe news, than herpies whore getting breast implants, i mean, who did she pay to keep this freaking quiet, i mean, they are there and they are huge and they are plastic, 'cmon, this is not big news anymore, WAAaaaa

Didn't think there was anything wrong with the original pair but if that's what you need to do to compensate for the herp down below and the cooters running around, okay go ahead.

Now we'll have dozens of pictures of her and every other one will be her staring at her taters.

Just when you thought an attention whore can get no worse.

Damn that skank is really ugly. Who are the morons who keep taking pictures of this ugly prostitute.

She still says that's the only spelling she remembers from school.

19- hahahahah!!!

y'all- it COULD just be those silicone bra inserts. everytime we've seen the tittays this big, it's always been with a bra. until we see bikini shots, we don't know for sure.

#13- "looked good on her resume" HA!

Paris cracks me up because shes so nasty, yet she always has that look on her face like shes the hottest woman alive.

Unless i see some photographic evidence, i won't believe she's got implants. Anyone know the release date of her new home-vid?

That boy can dance!

She looks like a cheap male prostitute. The fake boobs are the cherries on the cake.

She's gross, the more I look at her, the more I am in love with Bruce Willis daugther.

Good one, Binky #19 LOL

rumer is beautiful. and paris has a lazy eye. and binky, really good.

i'm not convinced either. look at the profile shot, there's nothing there because she's smooshed what little she had in & up.

schack...

a lazy eye.................

and a penis.

Rumor Wills - fugly horse.

Paris Hilton - fugly tranny.

At least now we know what happened to Paris, all that Spelling ugly oozed all over her.

Tori must be pissed!

The longer Hef touches her, the more the life is sucked out of him.

She actually looks great.....unitl you have see her her head on.

This stupid bitch could be jumping on a trampoline during a fucking 9.0 earthquake and still could get her tits to bounce. All that styrofoam in her bra has increased her body weight by 50% at least. It's sad really, because all of the tit you see there is literally all the tit she has.

Fish, please show pics of Bai Ling's tits. Interestingly enough, I think I'll do take out for lunch.

well, maybe all this bra stuffing is in preparation for the real thing. maybe she thinks we won't notice if we get used to them looking that way.

paris has a retractable penis.

i think she got the implants for 2 reasons...1) Kim Kardashian's monster knockers steal her limelight 2) Hef has been trying to get her in Playboy for a while now and she's always said "no", and i think she wouldn't do it because she was always so small on top...i think she's getting ready to say "yes". My guess is she'll be in Playboy within a year.

Look at Hef. Just look at him.

That geriatric, cod-lipped tycoon is still going strong. Guess that's what banging (or at least pretending to bang) harems of 25 yr.-old blonde starlets can do for you.

Too bad when he dies, he's going directly to hell.

There is no way you can stuff enough toilet paper in her bra to get her tits to look that big.

I like little bits of chopped hardboiled egg in my tuna salad! Delish!!

Now Paris is going after Holly's man. Ooh I see a major catfight coming on!

holly looks like a cartoon.

I still say her mamma Kathy is still hotter...

"He's so ugly I imagine he'd be too afraid of himself to even masturbate." That was hillarious haha!!!

I never knew this Randy Spelling guy even existed! And why is he going around talking about other celebrities? Is this his big attempt to get his name in the gossip pages?

And why does Paris keep looking really hot in pictures these days? It makes it very hard to understand how to feel about her?!

Why does Hef seem to be saying "Fresh meat ... urgh ... fresh meat good ... must eat fresh meat"?

I heard him say this on the Howard Stern show, it was a very interesting interview, especially Rod Stewart's kid talking about looking at his stop-mom sunbathing...

ugh this man looks like her dead grandfather they have the sae ugly nose, this man is sick, much much sicker than her.

Has she gotten implants? There's no way those tiny tits could ever look that big.

she MUST have got a boob job..........they are like twice the size the used to be

Puh-LEEZ!

She is doing him a favor since they are friends by lying for him. He is a homo, she is helping him out by backing up the story.

Like her lower lip makes me puke like I'd rather fuck that funny corpse next to her than like. Like.

Lick. Lick. not.

And like Bai LIng has got as much sexy as a withered tit.

Lick. Lick. yuck.

Apparently Marilyn Mason is having an art show where I live on Saturday night and in the paper today it said Paris might show up, so I'm thinking about pulling the hunting rifle out of storage, making a trip downtown, and booking a hotel with a nice view. Anyone wanna help raise money for my legal defense? Wait, would shooting Paris Hilton be illegal? Or would I get a key to the city and a day named after me

Paris has gotten implants many times.

You'll notice that over the course of her reign of terror she often inflated and then deflated in the boob area. The reason for this is that the rot and multiple STD's living in her system eat and decompose the silicone/saline and then once she is back to zero she goes and gets a new pair. It’s a vicious cycle but it keeps her STD's alive, they live of implant juice you know. And her STD’s are a part of nature delicate balance, they are punish for the men who are sick enough to put their peepee in her diseased cesspool woohoo.

Don't waste your time. Just stick the rifle up your ass and either pull the trigger or fart. Your choice.

Fucking asshole.

i'm with you, superevil. don't listen to licklick. god has sent dissenters to confuse you. you must go forth with your mission.

did she get her tits done, or is she pregnant?

Where the fuck did those boobs come from?

#51 Superevil could you be the chosen one the prophecy foretold.

DESTROY THE SUPERWHORE, SAVE THE WORLD

Only the chosen one can save us all. This is their journey.

The chosen one, he or she who is truly immune to the persuasions of slutty women, must travel to the deepest, dirtiest land; the Southampton’s, and find the creature know as Nicolerichie, if you feed it a Diet Snapple and three red Skittles (it’s yearly food intake) it will lead you to the diseased and deadly slutbag known as the Parishilton. She will smell like 3 day old vomit and white diamonds perfume and will be adorned in a long mane of golden hair stolen from pure innocent virgins. Do not be fooled as there are many mimics who resemble this fugly skank but, there is only one original STD infested demon. It lives off the seamen and spit of young pitiful retards and douches. When you find the hideous creature you must shut off it's life force. First, you will call it a fat uggo which will shock and weaken it long enough for you to find a way to shut the snatch PERMANENTLY. When you have closed off the vile poonani the evil Hilton will implode and reveal it’s true form; a giant black hole. Through this powerful portal all the filth in the world will be sucked in, starting with the bitches from the View. As all the disgusting trash in the world is sucked away, much like the Horrible Hilton sucked her way into power, the world will be wonderful once more and then ...
We will be saved!
YAY!

These are the words of prophecy. It has been long awaited ( many weeks ago when a genius made it up while eating candy on a couch) that the prophet would bring slutless serenity to our world.

hey, Dead Stoner- Dead Boobies is funny, Cat Shower is even funnier, and Gauge your Fucking Eyes Out is hysterical

If it true, this is the one guy that can be confident he did not get an STD from fucking Paris.

53, I seem to have struck a nerve. Kill Yourself.

#55, did you have your turkey basted or are you just fat?

why are you obsessed with libraesque?

Did she Get a boob job or not?

Whoredy-whore-whore

Interesting that Paris Hilton and Bai Ling would be mentioned on the same post. So if you had to choose, who would you do (and for the straight ladies, just use your lesbian imaginations that us guys love to believe you all have - damn that's hot)? You've got STD Hilton against Crazy Ling? Just wondering what the popular opinion is when comparing these two?

C'mon, do ya really think Bai Ling is STD-free? :P

Like she was ever a virgin! She was born with her own fist up her vajayjay.

And, if that's a "miracle bra", it has to be painful to achieve that kind of results. I vote implants.

Who the hell is crazy bitch Bai Ling and why do I keep hearing about her? (And to #65, my lesbian imagination says I'd probably get it on with Ling. I'm just to unsure about the authenticity of Hilton's body parts.)

Randy Spelling? That's it? Wow no wonder she's such a slut.

Why does the skank always have her mouth open, is it fly catching season? in the first pic it's like she's checking to make sure they don't pop loose, which would be hella funny!

#13 ~ she only told him she was 15, she had to be ALOT younger cause she looked 15 in the pics of her partying with Tom Sizemore.

#19 ~ LOLOLOLOLOL

#66 - Of course Bai Ling is STD free, no way would the moon aliens allow her to live amongst them without curing her of any and all STD that she picked up on earth...cuz, you know, moon aliens obviously have cures for all of our earthly STDs. If only those bastards would share their secrets!!!

She's got a little attitude in that second to last pic. Wonder what the photog said to her?

At least this way their is something else to look at aside from that horse's ass of a face. Hef looks pretty bad, too.

She said once that if you've got a pretty face, you dont' need huge boobs. I wish she would have listened to her own advice. That was the only thing that she ever said that was mildly true (however superficial, but true.)

God, that guy is gross. Like child molester gross.

People who try to get first post are the lamest of the lame.

Those are a pretty nice set of fake boobs, I must say. At least they are kind of natural sized.

i have to say... whatever she did to her boobs as of late... is an improvement.

but that josh henderson character she's been dragging about town... what a fucking joke.

She's a walking disease, but that dress is gorgeous! Too bad it wasn't on someone exponentially less skanky.

The Superficial scores a big one on this tidbit, these are exactly the kind of inside stories I love. More, more!

http://www.puzzlekiller.com

CelebFic with lots of Celebs.

paris has tits? since when? Hef probably bought them for her.

Did someone call this an "inside story"? You might want to mention that you stole this story from the Howard Stern show. At least have decency to mention your sources when you come up with your Hollywood gossip. Perez does.

Didn't Paris promise her dad to stay virgin till her mariage when she's 12?

(83)It's 'marriage'.

so she has big tatas now... why is it that she overlooks the ugliest part of her which is her huge nose??? she needs a freakin nose job. take off all that makeup and you are left with a beaty-eyed, big nosed fugly bitch with blotchy skin and HERPES... ewww.

those are implants, her tits look better, does nothing for the wonk eye, the beak nose and the general ew that is paris hilton. she said in vanity fair that classy girls don't get implants, guess she didn't mean classy gils that drink wine in a can and make pornos at home for mass distribution, apparently she meant another kind of classy girl

Ummmm...

Ahhhh...

Never mind.

she's so classy

I guess she's going for SUPER RICH. She was sad that B. Gates was taken, and Buffet so next best thing: the Spellings.

I popped Paris' cherry

I love that dress, but it would probably be more appealing to me on Hefner than on Paris Hilton.

And oh God, her poses, oh God. Just...just stop. Paris, no matter what angle you contort your neck to put your face at, your nose will still look like a rotting slice of cantaloupe.