Mar 7 2007OJ Simpson might be Dannielynn's father

oj-simpson-father.jpg

The always classy OJ Simpson is "throwing his hat into the ring" and claiming that he might be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. A videographer who amassed a ton of footage of OJ Simpson says:

"He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father."

Simpson also allegedly told him:

"I hope they don't do a DNA test on Anna Nicole's baby. If they find out Dannielynn is mine, I don't want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money - or the baby herself."

I'm not sure if OJ Simpson is even a person anymore. Every time he's in the news he sounds like some sort of evil mythological being. If you asked a group of children if they knew who OJ Simpson was they'd probably tell you he was just a story their parents made up to scare them into behaving. Like the boogyman, only less believable.



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FIRST

I hate the juice.

Slow moving sperm?...like he had sex with her 13 years ago and now he's the father of her incredibly white baby? Now that I think of it, it kinda makes sense.

Why wont that fucker DIE already??? Sweet jesus titty-fucking christ, i hate that guy. And I think he meant to say he KILLED Anna Nicole, not IMPREGNATED her.

Impregnated her with a big-ass knife.

If the rubber fits, you iz de shitz.

C,mon....everyone knows I'm Danielynn's daddy.

#4? That'd be funny, but if the rubber fits? He AIN'T teh shitz.

Plus, now? People just be makin' shit up. Her POOL BOY was that baby's daddy. I mean, what? Come ON. Do the DNA test, every man in North America, Europe and Asia over the age of TEN has to submit DNA and we'll go from there.

Jeebus Christo.

Dead man walking. Why has this site become so fucking boring. It used to be interesting with characters like "Papahotnuts", "Chicagoboy" etc. What the hell happened?

Maybe his sperm was driven by Al Cowling's sperm in a tiny, white, sperm bronco to her ovaries.

Wait.... People are still having sex with O.J. Simpson?? Didn't we collectively decide that this was a bad idea in 1994 when he was arrested for killing his wife?

What is wrong with these people?? Hmm, Howard K. Stern, O.J. Simpson, Myself, and that other guy all have sets of keys too... maybe I'm Dannielynn's father!

I've seen pictures of the baby and she doesn't have any prosimian features.

LMAO thats almost as good as if he didnt kill ron and nicole

He didn't have sex with her, he just did a little necking.

dude, why dont they just do the goddamn paternity test already?!?! fuck! they do that shit on maury in like a 48 hour period and it's taking like 7 months for anna nicole's kid. this is fucking stupid.

His kid did it.

His next book will be called "If I Hit It"

Where does this giant piece of shit find the nerve to even leave his house?

DIE OJ

Dude has been playing way too much golf at the country clubs, he has apparently forgotten he is black. Has he not seen the baby pictures of this kid??

Wow, cocaine must be one helluva drug, he's had so much, it's altered his dna, so he can now father incredibly white babies

I hate OJ, too, but it's Anna Nicole, so you never know. My boyfriend keeps insisting it's his.

*disgruntled looks* this... Is stupid. We've all wanted to kill ppl before, but this jack ass can do it and get away with it. The wonderful thing is that we all know he did it, and he's a flunky now....... BORING NEWS SUPERFISH
THanks for the Jolie-Pitt's, they're eyecandy.

this is so not plausible. the baby is white, for one thing, and if his sperm are so slow, don't you think the faster sperm from one of the other 20 guys she was doing it with woulda gotten there first??

You're---it's---I'm---

How can someone so disgusting possibly exist?

Know what - Fuck all this. I'm Dannilynn's bio parent. Let's see if I can get 15 minutes of fame. But... Maybe she did screw him, his other relationship sort of got choppy... and then... She, and her lover (i think) died. WHy not murder anna and her son? Sounds plausable... OJ DID IT! (Again)

Obviously he didn't get the memo.....ANS didn't leave the baby anything.....
What a freak of nature.

Typical O.J. He is mad that he isn't a part of the new trial of the century and had to get his name in there. What a douchebucket.

He hopes they don't do a DNA test because it will show it isn't his baby, and he is trying to get attention.

OJ is disgusting. I wouldn't be surprised if he's one of the regular commenters on The Superficial. Same sense of "humor".

This might be the funniest and saddest thing I've ever heard.

I hope that poor excuse for a turd OJ dies of gonorrhea.
Soon.

Tap-Dancin' Mohammeds, I wish this guy would never be seen, quoted, fed, anything, ever.
Go away murderer...

Back when I was whacking off to Anna Nicole's Playboy issue when I was 14 years old I fantasized about having sex with her. Who knew had I shown up within 100 feet of her I probably could've had sex with her. Everyone else did.

Dannielynn's not even half black! She's clearly white! Negro please!

You know who would make a great father for little Dannielynn? Screech. I mean, he could teach her everything from avoiding getting shoved in a locker to avoiding dirty Sanchez's. It's a perfect match!

what an attention whore.

Dear God:

Remember the other day when you asked if I'd like anything and I said, "Not right now, but thanks."? Well, I do have something.......please let OJ Simpson slip on a puddle of his own piss while holding a running chainsaw. Can you arrange for something like that?

Thanks!
Always--
Jrzmommy

Okay, he's officially an attention whore. We've seen Dannielynn for many months now, and she's obviously not biracial. She's BLONDE, for crying out loud.

When are they gonna do the damn test? Doesn't it take only an hour or something? Just test the baby with the men and find out whose baby she is!

What the fuck is wrong with him!?! Why hasn't anyone had a hit out on him yet?

"Slow-moving sperm." HAHahahahahafucking HA!

#14 for the win. :D

this suddenly opens up an opportunity for this guy

OJ can write a new book for EVERY WOMAN he ever had sex with, detailing how he would violently murder her if he had the chance to, and release it the minute she dies

can even start his own company for this line:


Guilty Of Murder But Let Off Hook By Ignorant Impatient Jury Publishers, Unlimited

Courtney Love has a book-or-two for that publisher, as well

So, is it possible it was his sperm driving the white Bronco?

I'll never forget the folks I saw celebrating on the streets of NY when he was acquitted. I hope they see now they were assholes.

To all you people who don't think a black man can father a white baby - you forget about Paris, Prince Michael and Prince Michael II.

Bwahahahaha.

C..c..cuz Michael's not really their dad either. Get it? Hahaha.

So OJ is an asshole? Next thing you'll be telling me Captain America is dead.

14 that was seriously fucking brilliant hahahahaha

If the kid ain't tan, he can't be the man!

Next, OJ claims to have killed Captain America. Film at 11.

Since everyone else rhyming...

"If the baby's hair is nappy, then OJ might be the pappi"

OJ is from bizarro-world. He does the opposite of what anyone else would do normally.

#7 - HA-HA! I remember that footage. A low-speed chase.
Also agreeing with #43.
#34 - Not sure what pics you've seen recently, because the ones that came out after she was born had dark hair, not blonde. If you have links to current Daniellynn pics, plz post them.

#44 summed it all up. Nothing more needs to be said.

"If it doesn't spit, you must acquit"

Danielynn doesn't have much hair, but what she has ain't dark brown or black, that's fo shizzle...
http://www.skynews.com.au/photos/SkyNews_Image_20070210225814.jpg

Slow moving sperm? It's more like his sperm would have a fight to the death with all the other lovers' sperm swimming around in there...that had to be some vicious fighting!

Un FUCKING believable...
O.K. I'm scraping together about 25.00 Will someone please put this son o a bitch out of his misery ?
Big headed ass muthafucka is giving Humanity a bad name!

well did the baby come out mulatto or can you not even tell...probably not. it's probably white as hell from all the meth she did. maybe oj's man poison was what eventually killed anna. i'm suprised the sperm weren't carrying individual knives and thrashing all the way up her uterus.

Okay, that's it. I officially judge Civilization as in abeyance, and declare the species without merit. Deity, you may now begin throwing lightning.

"I don't want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money - or the baby herself."

Has there ever been anyone in the history of our nation that has been allowed to mock his victims' families more than O.J.?

As clever as he is, even Fish couldn't make that shit up. With OJ, I see a family resemblence to Greasy Bear, possibly to Pete Doherty. That is just pathetic about DanielleLynn though. We should all do our best to avoid contracting AIDS (and many of us have just been lucky) but how in the hell do I protect myself from SLOW MOVING SPERM? Are they going to make public service announcements ("City officials are spraying Florida neighborhoods today after an outbreak of slow-moving sperm contaminated...")or am I going to step off a curb and something vile leaps out of the gutter and tries to burrow under my jeans, or what??? This is so truly disturbing. We need a Hero to take out OJ before we lose this planet and all life forms on it.

I'm surprised that no one has taken out this negro yet.

The prototype of the fully integrated American Negro.

He just did what every rich white man has done for centuries; namely get away with it.

Fuck him and the white Bronco he rode in on.

48, actually the first photos showed she was blonde. Her hair magically darkened about a week later -- probably ANS and Stern dyed it to try to make it look like Birkhead wasn't the dad. Hair dye would be the least toxic chemical that poor child was exposed to.

I don't care if OJ did the killing or not. But he went to court and was found not guilty so how can any other court civil or not decide he was guilty without it being considered double jeopardy.

#14 - LMFAO

For a sick murderer, O.J. sure does crack me up.

to paraphrase Warren Beatty in "Bugsy", is there anyone ANS _didn't_ fuck that particular month?

not to defend OJ, but he actually didn't say that - it's some video guy who says that he said that.....seems like pretty dumb claim

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