Mar 5 2007Kirsten Dunst gets molested by friend

first

what's up with her legs in pic 3? she has to be a virgin. i can't imagine any man wanting to stick his penis is such a bland, colorless pancake ass.

I didn't know vampires could come out in the sunlight.

Her skin is just hideous. Ghastly pale and covered with growths. The worst girl I saw at the beach last weekend looked better than Dumbst.

I don't think SpiderMan is all that conflicted these days. He's glad he stuck with the job.

Man, I hope Powder's got the number 75 block on!!!!

She looks so ethnic in these pics.

That's quite a daring swimsuit on Fangina's breast-fondling girlfriend. Her nickname must be "Stretchie".

So anybody read any good books lately FUCK THIS IS BORING

Hold the phone... What happened to those tits? Those are not the sweater cows she was packing in the rain when she kissed dear old Spiderman.... Where did they go?????

guys... is it a sexy body ??

Maybe if we put all 4 boobs together, we would get one nice small one

Okay, her tits are so gross. I don't understand how boobs THAT small can be so saggy. Ive got C/D cups, and theyre perkier than that. Shes like, what, in her twenties??? NO EXCUSE!

And srsly, get a bathing suit with some shoulder straps. gross.

Oh, and the last pic? Look at those veins in her feet lol!

Poor Kiki :(

If Snagglepuss had the body she did in Spider-Man, she wouldn't need a girlfriend to grope her chest because I'd do it. I'm that nice of a guy.

That's not Kirsten. That's Halley-Joel Osment.

Bandeau bikini tops are so unflattering. They flatten and droopify.

At first glance, I thought that was a guy that was getting fondled...

Ewww snaggletooth is just gross, she makes my eyes hurt

My 93 year old grandma looks better in a bikini. Over her housecoat, even, she is smoking hot when compared to OsteoGhost.

And I hear she gives better head.

Her boobs are almost as ugly as her teeth/face/butt/tummy/body...ahh I give up.

Wow, she's got the curves of a washboard.

She also might wanna get that snaggletooth fixed.

I wonder if those sunglasses came with her Hello Kitty purse.

oh my god, you people are sad. you'll say anything.
her friend is putting lotion on her. i was there and saw it. jesus...a spade is a spade.
pathetic.

oh my god, you people are sad. you'll say anything.
her friend is putting lotion on her. i was there and saw it. jesus...a spade is a spade.
pathetic.

They're certainly not spades.

My penis went back to reading Tolstoy.

Really, really super-unflattering suit she's got on. Really, she couldn't do much worse RE color and style. It's like she picked the suit specifically to make her look as bad as possible. I think her bod's OK, but the swimsuit she's wearing is doing her no favors at al.

she looks grossed out by the ultra-hairy legs in pic 4

"Nurse! Quick! This patient needs melanin STAT!"

This should be one of those "Write a caption for this" photos. Caption; 'Hey I can't find your boobs what happened to them'

Her boobs are even saggy in thumbnail pic 1 where she's wearing a halter top. Good Lord! Her body is awful, she isn't pretty, and her skin color -- my god, her skin color!!

Oh, and her legs are ugly, too.

Hey, SPFRS -- good one! I was about to post that Kirsten was saying, "yeah, they're there....feel around...you'll find them." But you beat me to it!!

:)

Hey - KD must have been up here in Eskimo-ville - because I saw those same shades in the Discount Bin at Zellers !
(I think many 'actors' are probably gay. Remember those High School plays ? Like... they were all dance musicals...nudge nudge...It wasn't exactly the Octagon etc...not that there's anything...wrong.., etc...)

I believe that's a Sawtooth shark.

applepie:
yes, we all recognize that her friend was not actually 'molesting' her. See, the way this site works is kind of confusing. They post a photo of a celebrity, then come up with a tongue-in-cheek caption to accompany the photo. Often, the caption blatantly conflicts with what is happening in the photo. Other times, the caption may exaggerate what is depicted in the photo. Sometimes they might even fabricate a total and complete falsehood for humorous effect, with or without the use of sar-ca-sm.

Sometimes the posts are funny, sometimes they fall flat. Either way, one needs an IQ of at least 70 to comprehend the fact that this is not a News Group Blog.

And can't some of these 'celebs' be bit decent and find a private beach ? Like...too much info...
Brando was at least decent enough to get his own desolate island before putting on a swim suit.
That's why the guy still had fans.
The horror. The horror...

(#38 was a quote, not a comment on 'Lesbian Dance Party' of course)

#37 -- mrs.t...you are my new favorite.

i was gonna pounce on this applepie chick, but my retort would not have been nearly as witty or spot-on :)

Good work.

damn! those are really small breast!

We now have substantial proof that being skinny does not necessarily make you sexy.

God I really hope you're all super hot.

Good lord...please tell me no man on the planet jerks off to this...

A Kirsten Dunst haiku:

Seventh grade body
Anyone can touch her breasts
Lack of melanin

I've been reading superfish for ages but never joined to comment until now when I felt I had to. Why don't all you sad fucks fuck off and leave her alone. She's never done anything bad like Britney, Paris and Lohan and doesn't deserve it. I know someone will come back with "You're not in the right place, go join a fan site." Well up yours! I don't mind celebrity scum getting ripped on but Kirsten doesn't deserve it. You're all sad and have alot of time to waste.

If i had skin like that, i wouldn't bother with the lotion. Vampires shouldn't get melanoma anyway.

I'd love to see you freaks in bikinis in Maui. It would be funny/sad like an episode of Idol.

#37 You rule, mrs. t. Best response ever.

blpressure: the difference between me and Kirsten (besides a lot of brain cells and several cup sizes) is that I don't put myself out there as red-carpet material. KD does. So, when someone who likes to flaunt, to an extent, how good looking they are, and they really aren't, we at the superficial make fun.

What did she do to deserve it? She ran around, titless, in a bikini. 'nough said.

Let's see if I'm that hot:

Pale, white skin, untouched by the sun: check

Okay, now let's see what else I need... lighten the hair... lose about, oh, forty pounds... knock out my own teeth and replace them with pebbles found on Maui beach... lose all muscle tone and definition....

...seems I have a lot of work to do.

oh, eat me, blpressure.

did it really take you 6 whole minutes to come up with that zinger in spot #48?

Go back to licking kirsten's anus.

BTW, she is just as guilty as Paris, Brit, and the LoHo when it comes to offending the non-blind.

If u look at this twzzlrgirl you'll see she's not after the attention and doesn't like to flaunt. http://www.tmz.com/2007/02/23/dunst-to-paps-go-find-your-passion/

applepie, excuse me for lacking the same passion and exuberance as you do for kirsten and her prepubescent body. while i realize it was probably the highlight of your life to be there and see her friend slather her with lotion, somehow, for me, it just lacks that same excitement and comes off as more of an 'ewwww' type of thing.

if her friend was putting lotion on her like applepie says, don't you usually have the friend rub it on your back because you can get the front pretty easily? yeah thought so.

honestly, i could care less about her ghost white skin. some people don't want skin cancer.

but why does she have three different tops on?

i'm sure any man that had to spend time burrowing in her mushy white ass would turn gay

You're awesome, #46.

No one ever sticks up for the Vampires.

42. Yet it must be said that being overweight does indeed make you a big, fat, slab of hog, ... always.

Ok, so I'm alone? While I have to say they are not the best pics of her or at her best, I think she's hot. If you need to be reminded of that just take a look at her last Maxim layout.

I think she's great!

#53 I like the link about how great KD is. Nothing says classy like punching at photographers and telling them to "Find their passion".

Be Adequite!

I feel a little depressed now after reading all these comments...is it really all that bad to be so pale? I'm just as pale as Kirsten, and I find it nearly impossible to tan. And fake-tanning isn't an option because of turning orange. I know, I know, it's like 'cry me a river'...but everyone here seems to be really averse to it :(

Can anyone say why she hasn't fixed her ugly, crooked teeth yet? And how can someone so plain and talentless keep working in Hollywood?

i like girls who are so pale that the soles of their feet are pink. now that's what i call sexy...

51. You are pretty funny.. I like that.. but you forgot that you need to lose about 315 I.Q. points lol.. And yea its that bad too be pale.. I mean i think she can afford to go to a tanning bed its like 40$ for a membership.. hmm?? Sometimes i just wonder what has this world come to.. to let celebrities like that be role models.. man i might as well make my dogs shit be my new role model..
And she is FUCKING UGLY!!!

#62 Pale skin is OK unless you're an irritating celebrity, in which case it's unforgivable. If KD was properly tanned, we'd be more focused on her veiny feet, pancake boobs/butt, muffintop, bad teeth and hair.

Does Britney have anything left to shave?

It's amazing how this site draws the satirically challenged - like a moth to the flame baby!!!

I have to say: She's the ugliest actress working today.

OMG and her feet scares me... so fuuuuuucking ugly.. just like her.

#12 Yes, we could get one, but nice? That would be stretching it.

i was sure her boobs used to be big... what happened?

2: I dropped my M&Ms just as I was reading your post, and maybe it was something about the moment, but your post made me laugh.

"i can't imagine any man wanting to stick his penis is such a bland, colorless pancake ass."

Heeeeeee :)

how does she manage to look so awful? people with millions of dollars looking like bums- a concept that just doesn't make any sense to me.

No looks, no personality, she should write a book "How I Tricked The Producers of Spiderman To Pick Me To Play a Big Beautiful Redhead" cause it makes no sense to anyone. I mean, look at her.

What the unsexy is going on here?

59--too bad she didn't haul her airbrush to the beach, she might have had Maxim-quality looks again.

Oh, and blpressure, go back to your happy world where people shit kittens and sunflowers you worthless cunt. Either contribute something snarky & worthwhile or get the fuck out.

#67 Yeah, about 20 pounds off her ass and thighs.

Kirsten to friend: "Look, I can actually SEE my breasts getting saggier by the minute! You gotta try."

ha ha! her friend is one of those traina girls - you know, Danielle Steel's kids, bunch ofrich snobs, hang out with paris and those kinda people. why oh why would they hang out with snaggel tooth, i have no idea. whatever, money hangs out with money. maybe they could all spend it on boob lifts... just a thought!

Now for a REALLY disgusting thought...

That's Pete Doherty on the left IN DRAG! See the man hands? And the dead-white skin?

Gotta be...

Okay Superfish, that's enough now.

We need REAL goss... not crap that makes updates on "Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's family progress" sound like pure gold.

That beach/ water looks like sewage. I am fairly certain she chose the Mississippi River as a her vacation spot.

speaking of Jennifer Garner, now that is the most raunchy looking bitch out there, i'd take Kunst over her any day

Did one of her snaggley teeth bite one of her boobies??

I have banged a hundred skirts that look worse than this one. I'll do it again too, no matter how small and saggy their zooms are, because I can. Plus, I like the way her friend is playing with her.

I know it's more fun to hammer a supermodel, but I don't meet a lot of them.

im even more perfect than that hot moma kristen dunst is we go girl!

In the first pic, her friend was saying "Aren't you supposed to have breasts in this area?"

Man she looks really bad in these pics! wow!

How this girl hooked up with Fab Moretti AND Andy Samberg in the same week, I'll never know.

When she bleed from her ass it must look very red.

Standing at the seashore waiting for her breasts to arrive....Dollin, I have my fingers crossed! I hope puberty is good to you when it finally arrives!

Well, I'll say this for her..at least she's proud to be white! It would be cool though if she MEANT to! LOL

Gin & Crack...FIND YOUR PASSION!

# 59 said: "I think she's hot. If you need to be reminded of that just take a look at her last Maxim layout."

Yes Billy, photoshop is an incredible thing. The reason she looks ugly in these REAL LIFE pictures is because in person she is hideously fug. I could never ever get drunk enough to fuck that. Her body resembles an over cooked piece of pasta. This chick naked is what causes homesexuality, not genes.

Fuck! In photo #3, who's legs are in the background? The fucking Wolfman? That is just unnatural to be that hairy!

Good thing she's spending time in the sun... she needs a bit of it.

Like ew.

(bad bikini top).

I found these pictures to be arousing.

Haha, Dr. Sunken Tits looks worse than ever! And WTF is up with these fucking retards who are defending this freakishly ugly...thing? K.D. is possibly the most unattractive "actress" in Hollywood at this time. I have NEVER seen her look good, except in Spider-Man, and that's only because of LOADS of makeup and other professional help. I just don't get this chick...does she not know that her tits are almost to her knees? Has she ever looked in a fucking mirror and seen her ugly, snaggle toothed face, and her repulsive body? How did this hideous monstrosity evn get into Hollywood in the first place? Her parents must be some big shots or something, because she sure as FUCK didn't get there on looks or talent! I'm in shock that anyone could actually think this looks GOOD, she is a repulsive pale skeleton with saggy tits and creepy pebble teeth who cannot dress to save her life. God, somebody drive a stake through her heart, the Undead have risen!

@84-

Agh, I also find Jennifer Garner to be fucking ATROCIOUS! How did that manly bitch get into Hollywood? She has a caveman brow, jug-handle ears, squinty little eyes, nasty pale skin, mousy brown, boring hair, and also cannot dress to save her life. And her kid is just as ugly as she is...poor thing has the ugly caveman brow, squinty eyes, and huge Dumbo ears. Poor thing is gonna need thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery to fix that kind of ugly! I think Garner, Dunst, Julia Roberts, and Hilary Swank are the 4 ugliest women in Hollywood. How the HELL did they get famous? Ugh, the mind boggles, but even worse is that people actually find them attractive! I just don't get it!

84;
In HS' case, maybe talent had something to do with it. As for KD, every time I look at her, I still see sweet little Claudia.
Sentimental I am.

okay maybe her skin is creepy sickly.. and she had pretty fucked up teeth.. but remember her nude scene in eternal sunshine... pretty nice body guys.. lets admit it

the water is brown

god, who would bother to molest her? you could get more excitement at a retirement home...plus, skin that's not as pale

Jesus... All of u who spend your time writing these awful comments, you´re really pathetic and awful. Whatever did she do to deserve this?? Let the woman be for gods sake. Do u want to hear comments about how bad u look in a bikini u probably love, how fat u are, etc? I hope that happens, cause u sure deserves it way more than Kirsten does. And one more thing; if you´re really that stupid who thinks all the women look like they do in movies, forget about it. I mean, come on! Wake up, they use everything to make the actresses look as good as possible (computer-programs, makeup, push-up brahs, well anything). Kirsten even looks better in reality than mosts actresses does. It is well known she has a beautiful body and a stunning bone structure. She almost never use makeup, but looks stunning and natural anyway (which, actually, many girls don´t do. Look at Britney for example...). While u people are making a big steak of your body out in the sun these years of your youth, Kirsten will still look younger than all of u together when she´s 50.... That´s a fact. Go, Kirsten!

I think its pretty lame that we congregate here just to trash everyone's favorite little vampire brat.

She has the potential to be attractive, but fails to use it. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I haven't heard about any sex, drug, or crime scandals involving little Kirstin here.

I like her pale skin, but to an extent. Her face has a certain devilish charm, depending on the lighting. She may not have Jessica Alba's face or Angelina's tits, but she's still a pretty little thing.

As for her teeth...

...well, she looked better with fangs.