Mar 22 2007Jesse Metcalfe checks into rehab

The newest Hollywood fad. Rehab. Nice.

No one cares if this guy went into rehab or not other than his family and friends. So why even have your rep announce it?
I'm really tired of celebs going into rehab. Get some self control or keep it that shit to yourself.

No one cares if this guy went into rehab or not other than his family and friends. So why even have your rep announce it?
I'm really tired of celebs going into rehab. Get some self control or keep that shit to yourself.

This is boring crap. Next!

Who is the fucking ass clown? I hope he relapses and starts injecting Jack Daniles like Motely Crue did. Fuck celebrities and thier mexican gardeners.

another celebrity who can't handle all the success, for shame.

Drew Barrymore endured a notoriously troubled childhood, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol by the time she was 9, smoking marijuana at 10, and snorting cocaine at 12.

Drew has this flagrant faggot beaten by a long stretch.

Probably he had to drink before every Eva Longoria Banging scene. Poor guy.

Hmm, extra role in a cbs series. I'd put that just below "guy jerking off by pool #3" in Harry Pooter and the Sorcerer's Bone. Sure each show has poor writing and even worse acting, but at least the porn gig ends in an explosion of heartfelt love. Gardener boy gets to look all buff but leaves with blue boys.

Well, he's washed up and in his mid-20's I'd start drinking too.

Rehab's like a vacation. A vacation where you can't drink or snort oxycontin. Talk about the worst vacation EVER!!!

Who?

What's next, a Cambodian baby and anorexia?

jigga who?

Alright, so I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this but I feel compelled to speak. For the second time in two days the use of Jesus' name has been used in a way that is offensive. (See above and Queen Latifa doesn't like her swimsuit.) I know this is a site for making fun of people and stuff, but is it necessary to do it in that way? I mean, the reason I come to this site is for the bitingly sarcastic and original writing...I think you can do better than falling back on the old "Jesus Christ" bit.

@15 -- Jesus fucking Christ you're a goddamned turd.

@ 15 does the power of Christ compel you to be such an old bible beating bitty?

I don't think of myself as a Bible beater, but I am a Christian. And yeah, the power of Christ does compel me to say something. That's why I did.

@15: Douchebag: If you knew you were going to get a lot of flack why did you open you pie hole in the first place? Just remember the verbal ass-kicking you're about to receive doesn't make you a martyr in the name of Christ. And Jesus isn't immune to a sarcasm any more than Queen Latifah.

Jesus Jumped-Up Tap Dancing Christ! Who in the fuck is Jesse Hatclif...what's his name? Metzger? Metsomething. Jesus.

And what in God's fucking nightgown are you babbling about #15?

#19: I fully expected the "verbal ass-kicking"...bring it on! I have an opinion and I feel strong about it. There's a better way to say what was said than using Jesus name offensively.

The power of Christ compels me to tell you to take your value impressing ass over to the Trinity Broadcast Network forum and post there. You're reading a site that's sole purpose is to drag down and laugh at the pain of people within our society. I'm pretty sure the site as a whole is against every value your "Jesus" would have asked you to hold true. It's like your fucking your neighbor's wife and saying "could you please not scream 'god' during sex, it kind of offends me."

I'm a Bible beateroffer. And I've got to tell you, elvisfanlaura - I've got to testify - that Jesus has a fucking GREAT ASS!!! I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's PERFECT, right? I hope He's into role-reversal, because He can nail me any day!!!

They do make pills now to make those voices go away. Y'know, those voices that tell you to do stuff.

Also, this dude woudn't be driven to drink so much if he'd just come out of that closet already.

JESUS COCKSUCKING CHRIST!

Elvis Fan?? I think that is more offensive than the fact that you love the baby jesus so much. Are you one of those speed regulators on the highway, too, who love to do 40 in the left lane and never move to the right even though everyone behind you is flashing their high beams so we can do 85?

I am pretty sure jesus would not approve of you trolling around a site as superficial as this. Damn christian hypocrites. You know your husband likes little boys right?

#22: You're probably right...I never claimed to be perfect or better than anybody else. Just saying what I think.

Jesus was hot.

elvisfanlaura, if you're not better than anybody else then why do I care what you think?

Yeah, Jesus was hot, but I was kinda turned off when he got older and got those piercings.

elvisFan, just a suggestion here, "righteous indignation" is an obvious facade that is an affront to true christianity. Suck it up and grow a pair. WWJD.

#30, impostor biatcho, don't make me slap the stink off of you. Get funny or die trying, immediately.

Remember when this loser was on that soap PASSIONS. No wonder he's a drunk!

Jesus? I thought we were talking about JESSE. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't go to rehab....
Hey can I bum a percocet from anbody? I have a bit of a hangover....

Wait a minute....are we talking about the same Jesus? I'm talking about Jesus Rodriguez...the guy who drives the purple and gold Celica that sits low to the ground with the praying hands on the back windshield? Are you guys talking about.....Ohhhhh.....you guys are talking about Jesus Christ. Okay. Well, he was hot, too, in a Chris Cornell/old Soundgarden kinda way.

I love watching these greedy self absorbed fucks self distruct.

They think they are gods on mount olympus, they whine and whine about the Paparazzi and how hard it is to be famous while they make obscene amounts of money in this fucked up world where the real heroes have next to nothing.

It's called KARMA hollywood, so eat up you pieces of shit!!!!

I thought #30 comment was hilarious, but twisted...
#35 mmmmmm....Chris Cornell....

DESTRUCT....WITH AN I. that's ironic, Iamsosmrt.

he also played Miguel on NBC's soap Passions for like 3 years or something.

he was adorable then and now..

drunk or not lol

Who the fuck is jesse metcalf? And as for jesus does he even count as a celebrity anymore, he's like, so roman empire, f-list at best.

#38, Well 'I' do love to watch the destruction.

Plus, I'm too sexy for my spell check, too sexy for my spell check ...

.
Oh PLEASE, This Douchebag just got kicked out of a club for being an asshole. Since he has no job he needs an excuse for why he acts like such a dick. YAY! I'll go to Rehab!

Please, he'll act like a dick again, get barred from clubs again and have to think of some other excuse for why he is such a douchebag.

So what, now that the adopting/stealing foreign babies fad has become played out, the cool new thing for hollywood celebs to do is go to rehab? And please, this guy doesn't have anything on BS. She's set the standard mighty high for crazy substance abuser!!!

Oh, and btw, who releases a statement to the press about having issues and entering rehab and then asks that the press give them privacy?! If he wanted privacy, why did he make this so public?! Shit, it's not like anyone was invading his private space prior to this.

For alcohol? This douche needs to rehab his penchant for sucking cock.

Didn't Jesus star in that one flick... "The Passion"

I think he was even oscar nominated for those Kirk Cameron movies... "Left Behind". But it was Best Screenplay, or some lame award like that...

You have the fucking nerve to offend decent people (well, I am)by mentioning that misogynist, racist, drug-addicted hypocrit, fat pig ELVIS yet we can't say "Jesus Wept", "Christ on a Stick" or "Holy Mother Mary of Nazareth" without you trying (good luck!) to chastise us??? You're a moron.

that asshole sidetracked me and I forgot to ask the important thing: what about his eyebrows? Are his eyebrows going to be OK? I mean, he was supposed to have the perfect eyebrows....

right on #44

Hey wait a minute. What'd I do?

Oh and yes, Jesse MetLife is a douche. Find a picture of him with a hot chick and I'll post it on my blog:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Hey wait a minute. What'd I do?

Oh and yes, Jesse MetLife is a douche. Find a picture of him with a hot chick and I'll post it on my blog:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

I wonder if he'll get "naughty" in rehab?

Angelina Jolie looks like a scarecrow.

Hey, don't diss the rep. I mean, he helped me out, because when I first read this headline, I thought, "Who the ^%$# is Jesse Metcalf?" and at least that got cleared up for me.

Haha. "O NOEZ, nobody cares that I exist after my stinking turd of a movie... time to announce I'm going to rehab!" What a painfully transparent PR stunt.

btw, as to the massive flaming that just took place, I don't really see how it's anti-Christian or whatever to laugh maniacally at the antics of a bunch of spoiled celebrities over the Internets. It's not like we're stoning them to death. As for the writing style of this site, it's the reason I come here -- I'm a Christian and just about every entry sends me into hysterics.

btw, this isn't a Christian-themed site so you don't really have any basis to get up on the soapbox and start yelling about how the name of God is being profaned, when the site never set out to avoid that in the first (FRIST) place.

I love how Mr. Soap Opera (Passions and btw Desperate Housewives is a soap opera, just because it's at night doesn't mean it's not "bon bon eating, harpie, my husband is not attracted to me" television) is making his bad ass face in his leather jacket.

He would be eaten alive in prison. Go put on your khaki's, call your mom for advice and settle down little man.

yo superfish you forgot the part about how he was making out with britney in the bushes

HEY DOUCHBAG JUST OD ALREADY AND DIE

WTF? Dude, everybody has alcohol problems when they are young. Everybody cool at least...this rehab shit is stupid.

he is hot as hell!

I grew up with jesse metcalfe...so glad he is a somewhat failure after DH..lets hope it never gets better!@! haha

I used to think this guy was so hot. Now I think Jesse MetCrabs is a first-rate douchebag. Seriously. When he's making a face like that, who'd want to go to bed with him? He looks like he just shit his pants or something.

He is looking very handsome and unless he represented Angelina Jolie. Then he would just remove his pants and wants to sleep with his bed.
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