Mar 16 2007Eva Longoria is a lawn gnome

Either Marcia Cross is a giant and drives around in custom-built giant cars, or Eva Longoria is, by my scientific calculations, two and a half feet tall. It looks like they used special effects on her or something. Like they're shooting a new Lord of the Rings movie and she's playing Gnomey, the extra small Hobbit.

A couple more pics of Eva Longoria looking like a tiny little person after the jump.


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That's Eva? I used to buy blankets and switchblades from her in tiajuana.

Just give her a cup holder hat and have her stand next to my couch, everyone is born for something.

I think she prefers the term 'pube jockey'.

fourth! I am never this high up!

Eva is really without a lot of makeup! She really needs it- sheesh!

oops, I meant "Eva is really ugly without a lot of makeup!"

I just want to scoop her up and put her on the dashboard of my car.

Marcia Cross probably thought she was a lost child and then dropped her off at the closest elementary school.

Ahh, the power of perspective in photography is amazing.

She looks like a Spanish professor I had who would eat bags of Yerba Mate and shriek at small children in passing.

14 year old posers kick ass!

@9 - slope is key

Marcia Cross needs a blood transfusion.

you can tell they're talking about the photographers... wait, is there one over there? oh- yeah- look, inside the sewer- see the little lens poppin up?

5, makeup doesn't make her grow now, does it?

anyway, in a funny way she looks like some estranged hobbit-/kid-mixture type creature out of brothers grimm story.. so cute, makes me want to put her in my showcase lol

I always thought she was a tall woman.But now it seems she's just a inferior subvariant of a Hobbit.

I always have the urge with this kinda girls to give them a lunchbag and send them to elementary school.

I want to see an episode of the housewives standing at a cosmetic counter in the mall and Eva is jumping up (now you see her head, now you don't) and saying "let me see! let me see!" till finally Marcia picks her up under one arm and holds her there while she finishes paying for her purchase.

Dude ... Eva's 5'2" and Marcia's 5'10". If you're keeping score, that's an 8" difference.

She's a snowflake of a girl, but I like her.

Why are the paps taking pictures of Consuela, the illegal mexican cleaning woman?

Hmmm bang Consuela or the neighborhood bag lady.
Okay if I must choose, I bang lil Consuela.

Not a Desperate Housewives fan, but isn't Eva supposed to play a former Super Model? What she models? OshKosh B'Gosh?


In the first pic why are they all laughing and smiling away.
Look in a mirror folks, the jokes on you!

In the second pic they're saying "have fun at the dance and be home by 8 o'clock pumpkin"

and then they whisper to each other "when are we going to tell her that she's adopted and that that tanning bed broke years ago."

She is so overrated, and this just proves that Americans are attracted to anything that walks on two legs and has their 15 mins of fame on television. I can't even imagine what your "non celebs" look like.

according to imdb, she's 5'2".
so yeah, she's a midget or something.
she's got some nice legs tho.

Yeah Marcia Cross! I hope she comes back to housewives soon, its just not the same without her!

a hot gnome

She looks like the illegal that cleans my house... nothing special......


GET BACK TO WORK VATO!!!!!!!!!

#9 Yerba Mate ? No - not the YERMA MATE ! I was involved with a Yerma Mate inhaler for months last year. Argentina !?~? I should have offered up some lawn shavings just to be sociable. (Kava is hard to get up here.)
(If you skip this fishy blog for weeks it's almost like skipping your homework. Without the guilt.)
I'm so busy I'll steal material.
Lewis Black on Canadian TV show today: 'Do us a favor and invade us. We're so out of it we won't even notice.' (Better call Viacom kids)
Jeremy Holtz (same show) : 'And then they voted him in again. That's like knowing all the questions on a test beforehand - and still failing' ( Don't worry America - Holtz was in Speed 2 - this guy doesn't get work)

Ok it's 'YerBa mate'.
And the joke was "knowing all the ANSWERS on a test."
Ok. Been away on a reality type thing - etc.-
I'm just a little rusty.
Please don't 'Valerie Plame' me.

See having an adopted child/servant has worked out really well for some celebs. Maybe there is hope for the Brangeliar compound.

See having an adopted child/servant has worked out really well for some celebs. Maybe there is hope for the Brangeliar compound.

(Oh and Eva - maybe stick to the heels)

I'm 5'2".....if ya got ah problem.......off

In the second picture they appear to be laughing rudely behind her back at her gnome-like stature...nice.

Re #30 'Plame me'
It's getting hard to trust the right wing down there lately.
Like... at least Monica Lewinsky didn't blow any covers.

I'm always amazed at how quickly the political machines get working.
My people are now saying, "At Least Monica Lewinsky Didn't Blow any Covers" has already been adopted as a 'key' slogan for Hillary's campaign and the Tee-Shirts are on their way to the Asian sweatshops as we...ummmm... ramble on...
Obama's campaign is said to be 'surprised' at the cheap use of subtle jingoism.
John Edward's hair moved.
And John McCain's camp still screams: "Geneva Convention !"

La se๑orita es muy baja.

She really needs to put her makeup back on.

what's wrong with being short?

Wow, she's tiny...

Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! Can't help but love her!
I said 'but love' uhuhuhuhuuhuhuh!

is it just me or is her head really, really huge?

I recommend her boyfriend/husband when she needs to cool off, to put her on regular base in a grocerybag and hang it on a hook at the ceiling.

5'2"=1,25 m?

I'm 5'5" and I would tower over her. She is lying about her height. I would say more like 4'10" from the photo. Midget. She should admit she's a midget and up the statistics for midgets employed in the movie industry.

Y&R's "Isabella" just can't seem to stay out of the lens? Or has the Paparat's gotten so desperate that they are willing to snap Coney Island dwarf pics, and pass them off as celebs?

EWWWWWWWW

eva looks better with makeup but not BAD without it. you are all overlooking the fact that MARCIA is the TRUE HAG here.

My limit for Latinas is 5'3".I'm sorry for this girl,just an inch too short...

My problem with this supposed oversexed mexican midget is how UGLY she really is. I could just walk out right now and point out five better looking latinas walking down any big city street. In fact, all the Desperate cast are used-up hard ridden and put away wet hags.

You know what they say about short women: they make your dick look bigger. Bonus!

Despite Eva Longoria is kinda short i've to say she looks like a brave little lawn gnome.She doesn't wear high heels at all to cover her real length.

spinner

She looks like a Mexican midget hobo. And that chick beside her seriously needs to get some sun! Anyway, what's up with no new news for Saint Patty's Day Superfish?

she might be short but i think eva is HOT! now... marcia cross looks horrible without make up she needs to take some sun o something cuz that shit is scary. if i saw her on the street like that i would not reconize her. she looks like a fuckin zombie... wtf?

eva longoria es sexy y punto! carajo! aunque sea chaparra.

Eva looks pregnant in the second pic.

ahahaha, I was LMAO looking at this pic. It just shows how over-rated this Taco midget is. Looks like this rodent just escaped from some Maya ruins. This mexican alien should go back to Tijuana and start a Mariachi girlband or fry Churros on the street corner.

She looks like a spic maid.

Is it my imagination but does her fat melon head make up an ungainly portion of her anatomy? IE, half her body?

Looks like they are saying 'goodnight' to the help.

They had better count the silverware as that bag looks suspiciously heavy.

marcia is fucking gross eva is overrated but at least shes not gross. 44 she had children at 44 nno wonder their are so any autistic and add riffled kids in the us reproducing with boiled eggs. He is a stockbroker he could not find some eastern european girl half her age craving a marriage.

Agree with #51: you could throw a rock in any direction in LA and hit a better looking Mexican than Eva.

63 - i hadn't heard about her having autistic kids but not only are you grossly misinformed about the causes of autism, your use of the english language is retarded.

Because of all the emails i received from short Latinas...I lower my limit to 5'2 and 1/3 of an inch.

Guys LIKE tiny girls.

And do you guys have anything better than the typical ethnic "she looks like my maid" bullshit to spew? I mean when I dis white celebs here you don't here me saying that she looks like my local trailer trash Target cashier, now do you?

Is that a love child of the Joker, or Carrot Top, standing next to her in that first photo? I can't tell. eek.

But what you fail to miss in comment #67 Voracious, is that the "white celebs" that appear here ARE "your local trailer trash Target cashiers". Its not our fault that you refuse to recognize it!

This makes more desperate househos look good.
These chicks don't look good. Shoot MC is haggard as in H-A-G.

Blech!

#1 - Best... post... ever. ("I like to bee in Amedica, everyone freee in Amedica...")

By the by, am I the only one missing PapaHotNuts? Where the sam hill IS he?

she looks like a granny in those clothes.

49, 63 - Marcia rocks, so shove it! She's 44, not wearing make-up and just gave birth to twins! She looks fantastic

In pic three, Eva looks like she's practicing the Olsen twin duck lip pose.

Never mind Eva. Marcia is doing a bang-up Mr. Grinch, and the dude is a dead ringer for the reindeer dog.

http://www.badastronomy.com/ has the answer to this conundrum. It is because she is standing on a slope that she looks so short.

@24
obese 500 lbs, greasy hair, toothless, sweats and ripped tees, 60%

and before you say it.. we all now NY is nothing like the rest of backwards america

@67

I bet your name is Lupe

getyoassbocktomexico.com
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@#24 Because in Europe everyone who is famous truly deserves it and there is no celebrity worship and everyone is smarter and better. Let me take this oppportunity to thank you for giving us the Spice Girls. We're not worthy.

#77: Roger that. New York is nasty. Nasty in all capital letters with numerous exclamation points. And underlined a couple times. Hear hear!

And backwards America? Really?

As a Scandi-European (from Norway) I think I can safely say that "most" people are NOT beautiful... (that includes celebs and non-celebs a like) Unless they are made up and airbrushed... in that case anyone can look great!

but, back to the point.. she looks like poster #1 described... 'nuff said

Eva Longoria is an ugly turd, but at least she isn't wearing those orthopedic shoes that Marcia Cross has on.

Barbado-No, I'm not. So what if I were? Any hard-working Mexican is superior to YOUR little punk-ass any day.

Nope, you are wrong.

Lupe

bobble head.

Dude, the average American female is only 5'4"/5'5". If she's 5'2", she's way closer to being normal than her freakishly tall friend there (who are these people? I've never even heard of them).

Here's a challenge- make fun of something she actually has control over- like, being an idiotic fame whore. Ridiculing the fact that she's short is WEAK.

That guy in the picture reminds me of The Professor from Gilligans Island.

I don't see what the problem with Eva is, she is so hot, ok she is short when Tony Parker stands next to her he looks like Shaq and he is only 6ft2. Still she is sexy! And so what if she is fame hungry - isn't everyone in the USA and Europe exactly the same?

Fallen Arches? EWWWWW!

Well, I'd still bang her, don't care how short is as long as she's tight, LOL!!

OMG! Eva is a midget! I mean I think she's lying about being 5'2! She looks like she is 4'11! I think she looks cute, but, she's to skinny to be a land gnome. I think she's some sort of wood sprite or something!
Marcia Cross looks sick! I get that like a good amount of redheads she's fair-skinned but come on! That is like almost albino! She needs to get some sort of sunless tanner. I mean, I know she is heliophobic, some sun won't kill you. Unless she have that strange allergy to sun?

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