Mar 27 2007David and Victoria Beckham try to party with Diddy

Yay! She looks terrible!!

Now those are some angry breasts.

How can boobs do THAT?

I've never seen a guy try so hard to look like he's not trying hard. "I'm feeling crazy so I'll just tuck in one side of my really expensive shirt."

Real boobs don't do that, real women are not orange, and David Beckham really should have done better.

god, that woman is just terrifying. she needs to:
1) eat a sandwich.
2) get her real tits back.

you'd think someone with as much money as her would be able to afford a natural looking boob-job rather that those monstrosities.

David Beckham looks like a fool. He looks like the mushroom character from Mario Brothers.

Becks is wearing that hat because he's got Lord Voldemort living on the backside of his skull.

She is so fucking weird looking. And didn't he used to be really hot?

you can't afford a natural looking boob job unless your tits are big enough to hide the outline of the sacks. which is why boob jobs are so stupid. they only look nice on people who had nice tits to begin with.

For some reason these pictures just make me feel pity for them. I know it isn't usual Superficial snarkiness, but the two of them look really pathetic.

Did Victoria piss off the plastic surgeon? He put her boobs on sideways. Or maybe David like them that way so has access to them while laying on his side

Well, my David Beckham crush is officially over.

Where is DanYELL. I have been out of town for a couple of days and now it is so quiet in here. It is kind of scary

That major side boobage is so strange looking ... Why are they pointing out instead of up?
Her plastic surgeon should have his/her license revoked.
And why is she in a perennial state of orange? Having moved to L.A., shouldn't she have rectified that by now?

What is that man wearing on his head? Is that a sock hat?

why don't YOU be danielle, then, jimbo

wedgie- she probably got high profile implants on purpose...you know, looking for the fuck-doll look.

His blind drunk grandma knitted that for him.

She looks like a japanese video game character. And, by the way, worst.....implants.....ever.....

Oink.

Oh look, her nipple rouge is bleeding onto her shirt.

LMFAO@the top pics, those are fucking hilarious!

Don't conjure her up Jimbo.

What's with the silly negro hat? And she still has a pig nose.

Sorry

first, I was too busy looking at her square side boobs, now I can't take my eyes off her tit-high leather pants. Scary spice!

Her nipples defy evolution. lol

he's an athlete and she's starving to death, which means he eats and sleeps all day when he's not working out, and she eats vicariously through him, and sleeps while he fucks her. i'm suprised they managed to stay awake through a late dinner.

Hey Veggi whats up

Hey. Good. Other than these two making me feel drunk...

This is the funniest shit I've seen in WEEKS!!! I LOVE IT!!! I literally was LMAOROTF and everybody who knows me, knows I never EVER use acronyms!!!

If you take her neck out of that first picture, she looks like The Floating Head of Death.

Well... From the looks of the pics, I see their smack dealer recopped! It must have been hell being on the jones for a day or two waiting on that dime bag of H...

And when did he get Manorexia?

Not drunk, more like the flu. I have the sick feeling in my stomach like I want to blow chucks.

Dr. Phowstus: Your comment hit a chord. In the top photo, she looks like Xandir from the Comedy Central series "Drawn Together":
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/drawn_together/cast/xandir.jhtml

Who's the zombie with the cauliflower head, and why is Skeletor trying to a)rip it's head off, or b)put it back on after doing unspeakable things to it?

sure, jimbo. that's what they all say.

#8 LOL

hey, are you jiimbo too?

cauliflower head! hahaha.

Aww, that's so cute, they tried to keep up with a Diddy party! Poor innocent kids ;o)

And Victoria's perky tits look excellent! (but I will admit that a bit of added weight and a more normal skin colour would be beneficial)

Holy crap, those really are the worst implants ever. I like the pants. Too bad all that's left after the sale was half of one of Beck's sweaty old workout T's

If Vic's tits look good, then Paris is disease free. WTF! Are you kidding!!!???

Her tits look good in one of the wierd sci-fi kind of movies. I bet her nipple move and follow you around the room. And if you look directly at them you will die

Then, when she zero's in on you, her nipples shoot out a lazer that temporarily paralizes you. Mommy, hold me, I'm scared.

I think I'm going to print out her picture and use it on my kids..... This is what happens if you don't pick up your toys....

why is this orange hasbeen even on here, I read this to get away from British celeb trash and there they are on here too - AAAGH is nothing sacred? Gimme some o' ya homegrown Yank trash!

If you look at her tators head on it'd be like looking at some freak with fucked up eyes... no I'm over here... over here not over there, look at me damn it!

And he is only hot when he is wearing a football kit and preferably in the middle of a Cristiano Ronaldo/Gabriel Heinze Fuck sandwich, his everyday attire is far too faggish.

In that first picture she resembles the lead singer of Spandau Ballet in the "This Much is True" Video. Only he has far more feminine qualities.

These two silly people can't hack Hollywood, obviously.

Back over the water you go...

- Moma, what's a dick-head?
- It's David Beckham, honey.

her nipples are bigger than his erection and he lets her buttfuck him from behind so he doesn't have to look at her pig face, and so she doesn't have to see his nasty grandpa looks.

THAT HAT IS HOMO

Pity, pity, pity.

They have the money to be eating the best cuisine in the best restaurants in the world nightly! 'Tis a crying shame they obviously don't eat. How I would gladly take their positions at those glorious pig-troughs they frequent.

Fools.

Holy shit it's the Diabolical Doctor Abdul and his zombie slavegirl, quick Johnny Quest, run

Why, in the name of humanity, is he wearing a blancmange on his head? I mean, really. Some things just aren't done.

The six black guys from the men's room made him wear that hat, afterwards. He tried to tuck his shirt in but it hurt too much.

Those ARE some freaky udders! I'm guessing they're just laden with scar tissue. Packed. To the stitches.

i'm with #53. i love food. it's gotta be worth it to just accept your homeostatic weight to eat that food. god, drooooooool.

Don't forget to grab Bandit. Her bagina can suck a dime out the the corner from a 100 feet away

I'm just going to admit it, it looks like they had a heck of a time and partied hard and I am jealous.

I've asked it before, and I'll ask it again... is she half-black or sumthin'?

those nipples are ridiculous!!

What part of her looks black or sumthin? She looks like a dumb ass cracker with a cone head and tits that are pointed sideways

wait, people think he's hot??

Wow,

They come off as really pathetic. As for her tits, what can I say, apparently she once saw a low budget Porn film and though "oooo, I'll go to HER doctor!"

Apparently her tits can sit, stay, and roll over.

I guess Posh must be nursing her pigglets again.

They remind me of Austin Powers

#63 - In that top pic (right), she's a starved Vanessa Williams on crack.

No wonder he cant kick a ball for shit now.

Hahahahahah! We got rid of them and we're not having them back! MWAHahahahahaha!

Did anyone mention that fugly skin? Can she not buy a new skin in Hollywood??

oh, you're gonna take them back you hog-tied bastard.

#73 - heh heh heh.

Haven't they been indoctrinated already?

You know... into $cientology... the Tommy regime.

Why'd he put that funny looking thing on his head? And who's that bony skank he's dragging along? And is that mambo his surrogate cock?

Fucking soccer. I never could understand it...

seriously Poshy? Put the meth pipe down.
As written above me, I'd like to also say that thanks to these pictures, my crush on david beckham is officially over as well.
As for Poshy's boobs, nothing surprises me anymore, I just refuse to belive that English people find her attractive or even "stylish" and I use that word looseley

Only way we're having 'em back is if you take these two:

http://galleries.lycos.co.uk/d/2524-3/jordanpeter.jpg

Thats the deal.

She's really going for that Fembot look.

Am I the only person that finds these two a major bore. And She is not cute.

78, who the hell are those two?

they don't look like they're from around these parts. you have to offer up two people who are from here in exchange. don't try and load off all your embarassing celebrities. there are plenty here already!

#78. no dice. i can't believe that's jordan. she should just cut her face off and wear a CGI mask of the most generic face imaginable. oh, wait...

It's hard to blame Posh. If being a Spice Girl turned out to be the High Point of my career I'd turn to the pipe, too.

Beckham's just a complete nitwit.

And Diddy's just rolling on-ain't nothing but a thang.

haha Victoria is ugly and im sure she has stomach problems.

What happened to the spice girl days? I mean I know she is getting older but Good Lord. I think she has some kind of unhealthy obsession with plastic surgery and dieting. Kinda like Michael Jackson.

Nice.Fcuking.Hat.

Were his parents cousins?

it's probably all the diet coke she's drinking, Shanipie... it's starting to make her go crazy

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you...

The Taliban, and his prize corpse.

it looks like her boob is leaking!!

*goes away to rethink project unload trash*

hmmmm...

Mr. David Beckham!

You have seriously lost weight dude..!

You are not sick are you..?

Possibly the worst thing about these photos is that his knitted cap thingie has pills all over it. That is SO not classy.

@92 -- TC loves his bitches thin.

God, what's it like trying to mash hardened, scar-tissued silicone teats underneath your palms? My knees grow weak just imagining it...

God that is one ugly pug nosed bitch...
Do the British even like the fuckers anymore?
Die Beckhams DIE!!!

What does the tat on her right wrist read?

That tat says "left hand"

HAHAHAHAHHA Jimbo!!!

I've heard of pit stains, but tit stains?!

Superfish needs new material.

I love it; she looks like shit. She's falling apart. You can't keep up that fake ass facade forever Viki. lol

Freaky nips and jeezus what is with his fucking raggedy hat thing? Does he wanna look gansta? Stupid? I think he accomplished that one. Mmm, yeah.

And they all look high to me. There's nothing wrong with that but cmon people look like you can hang a little better than that would you?

Mmmmmkay, that's weird, I just got back from lunch, we are still on THIS story, and for the first time EVER, I didn't have to sign in. The last thing was the highlight of my day so I pretty much figure I need to get a FUCKING LIFE

Don't know what David has been drinking but it looks like the head on the Guinnesbeer is on his head.

I call sex tape scandal and divorce. They will come live in Hollywood and they will get divorced mark my words. He will find himself some real looking implants with a gold digging skank attached to them and he will try to be an "actor".

#10 . Agreed. She doesn't have enough flesh for the implants to look real and she was greedy and went for a size that couldn't possible look real. Implants can also look good and real on girls who have the saggy ball in sock boobs or the delfated post babies boobs. You goatta have some flesh to cover up the sacs of silicone/saline, or some hanging bags to fill up. In Poshy's case she only had a few layers of sick pimply orange skin. SICK.

Frist, i think this site must be more about us talking to each other than the actual stories... like if you go to perezhilton.com, you get more news, but posting there sucks. i don't know why.

#105. thanks for agreeing with me, even if the fact that i'm right goes without saying :) i look at boob jobs online when i'm bored. the girls with beautiful smallish titties just ruin their tits, the ones with ugly smallish titties wind up with larger ugly titties.

and the ones with no tits whatsoever wind up looking like they have orange-halves glued to their chests

...and the ones with big, nice tits wind up with slightly bigger, nice tits

Alright Mr. Superfish-- this is THE most hilarious story posted on here since Harry Potter fucked that horse. Thanks Baby!

Next...I love the pic of Diddy there. I would like to send him fucking roses for getting these 2 waisted out of their minds enough to break through the icy facades they portray. Good one Diddy Daddy!

I don't care, I'd still do Victoria if I ever had the chance! Like I said before, I'd like to see her put on a little bit of weight and get the skin back to it's natural colour, but I'd still hit it. Those perky tits would look mighty good being bounced up and down! And as for the Beckhams as a couple, I'm not mad at either of them. They seem pretty decent, and I have a feeling that sooner or later Victoria is gonna bitch slap Tom Cruise and them Beckham will kick his ass, all over something to do with Scientology/Gay Loving, but regardless of the reason, who wouldn't be happy to see the Beckhams put a hurting on TC?!

DANIELLE needs to say something about that hat. That is clearly her territory. I can only state the obvious is that it has reduced his sex appeal to that of a warm glass of water with a hair in it.

#112 Uhhh yes, yes it has

Look at the last little picture. On her left wrist she has a tat that says "Right Hand". Check out her nipples, they are scaning the room. One is looking left and the other is looking right. I wonder if they spoted anyone staring at them. Where is the picture of the "laser" shooting from downward facing nipples

#111 Her tits can't bounce, what are you talking about. Mine can, they're all natural, but I can guarantee it sounds better than it looks.
Yeah, Schack, you're right. Let's have tea and crumpets sometime. Cause I can talk wayyyyyy faster than I type. Which is funny, being a secretary and all, heh heh...

First, can I come and have tea and crumpets too

Victoria Beckham would be a great idea for a halloween costume, you can even use your moms diamond rings for the nipples.

I'm not First, I'm FRIST!!! and of course you can. But by tea I mean Long Island Iced, and by crumpets I mean pizza and chips....will that work?

#115 - okay, I admit, I was thinking about that also, whether or not they'd actually bounce, but I guess I'll never know for sure until I try, right? ;o)

#117 - So you have multiple moms and they all have diamond rings that you can borrow to use as nipples. Sigh, if only we all had ridiculously wealth lesbian parents.

This is like the first time i have ever seen her look bad. Like really bad. Actually they both look pretty horrible. They both always seem so hot and perfect, but here the ugly lights are definitely on! wHATS GOING ON???!!!

ROFL! That is one freaky looking woman. I didn't know they used traffic cones in breast augmentation surgery.

I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT.

I think Posh actually died several years ago of anorexia.
David thought he couldn’t live without her, because that’s what she always used to tell him as she beat him with her bony fists. He’s dumb so he believed her and didn’t fight back. So a lonely widowed David went to see Tom Cruise and his Alien worshipers and they used Tom's money to bring Victoria back to life with robot parts (which is why as other pointed out she looks like a fembot) that Tom had been saving for the late L. Ron Hubbard.

When the new buddies Tom and David were making Posh into an undead robot wife, in Tom’s $cientology lab, they decided to do some superficial tweaking and agreed that she should have actual boobies if she was going to look “alive” and “doable”. Because they are both men (sort of) they didn't have the ability to pick out real looking implants. So they just brought their favorite porno to a plastic surgeon and pointed and giggled at their favorite pair of rocks titties and the surgeon took that as a go ahead (really they were trying to get the surgeon in on a threesome).
Anyway, the reason Poshbot’s skin is all orange and pimply is due to her being mostly dead and infested with stuff that eats dead people. David never fixed her nose because he never ever looked at her face and Tom likes ugly noses and insisted they keep it. Now Beckham and his grave bride are indebted to Tom which is why Tom has forced Victoria to be friends with Katie. Tom secretly programmed Vickybot to say stuff like
“Tom Cruise is the tallest straightest man in the world” and
“$cientology is the wonderful and real and fun” and
“You should never leave Tom, because he is perfect and if you do I’ll come after you with my lasers nipples" (oh ya Tom put lasers in Vic’s nipples, again they were for L.Ron)

she is so incredibly disgusting

Sorry FIRST, yes that will be perfect. Will you becomeing all natural and bouncing?

lol @ "and judging by these pictures they barely survived." good one superfish

Absolutely, I have a trampoline ya know...

#125 I know, I thought that was hilarious. Been a while since he said anything funny.

Good God, is it time to go home yet??? I'm not even working, I'm just sitting here eating a hershey bar and playing on the internet. Seriously, I should be fired!!!

If you are let me know I will hire you

i'm running an escort service.

How much do you charge?

David stole my hat!

I lost it in the back of a cab in december of '05....

Well, finders keepers

What if you are lost???

Hmmm....escort service eh?

I'm always lost

So then can I keep you?

She looks like a Secondlife avatar. Wait for the Posh and Becks video game to come out, it explains everything. Its so much easier to animate something with a knitted mushroom hat and leather pants.

OWWWWW!!! OH MY GOD MY EYE MY EYE!!!!!!! Good god what a bitch she stabbed my eye out. Stupid Anorexic skeletor and her twin husband...

Only if you can find me, Jimbo

wow, he looks like a #1 douche with that hat on

Becks, we know you're English, you can take the tea cosy off your head any time now.

#114 Your years in the Secret Service have certainly paid off in a big way with your observational skills. This is obviously a British Invasion ploy. I thought there was something Fishy about an over-age soccer player getting a 250 million contract. Yeah - contract to be a SPY. Bastard. Somebody needs to shoot her nipples with a paint gun before they collect any more information.

My Becks crush was over the moment I heard him speak. Nothing like a super hot guy with a girly voice. Big shriv.

Real boobs, no matter what size, are way sexier than fake boobs. Any day.

david beckham is fit(hot) he could have done WAY better than that 'fake tities skeletor' of a woman she is not fat nor skinny, her body is allright but her face fucks up!

Do these 2 Puss-Faces EVER Fuckin *Smile*???these fukers have more money then God you would think THAT alone would put a smile on there faces EVERY ONCE in a while!!...FFS!!! crack a SMILE!!!

142--yeah, my crush was on it's way out for me, too, when I heard him speak and he sounded more chick than me. but I gave him a deep God-of-Thunder voice in all my fantasies. But now.....now.....I tried imagining him getting all romantic but that hat kept slipping over his eyes and the girly voice came back and.....ugh....not good.

@142. WRONG. 98% of real boobs are disgusting looking... what with the misshapen odd nipples and sagging... not to mention stretch marks... eck! the only positive thing about having real boobs is being proud of it.. as in... "yeah i have stretch marks because i had kids" etc. but there's nothing wrong with nicely done implants. MUCH nicer to look at.

@122 That's hysterical...

So, when you get off the plane in Los Angeles, do they MAKE you walk through the automated car wash where the soap is replaced with orange Kool-Aid®?

uh... I'm speechless. Except for WTF??????

these two look like a pair of heroin junkies in the first 2 pics

Re that pic at the top- looks like they both tried to throw themselves in front of the same train. Excuse me while I have my corneas replaced...

did Becks kick her in the titties??
those horrid funbags have been seriously "bent" out of whack.
that pic of P Diddles is funny though.

The look like Gelflings from the movie "The Dark Crystal"!!! Google it guys and you'll agree.

they look dirty

Everyone is sooo funny! Hilarious! One thing all parents w/kids know is that it's impossible to stay up until 11:30 pm! Party days are over for them : ) LOL

#105 "I call sex tape scandal and divorce. They will come live in Hollywood and they will get divorced mark my words. He will find himself some real looking implants with a gold digging skank attached to them and he will try to be an "actor"."

I sign that profecy to, victoria stand no chans against golddigging hollywoodmade silicon, shes so fucking stupiid its embarrasing, the only thing shes got is her husband and now shes moving "over there" where she certainly will lose him for sure,

If they had moved like five years ago maybe it would have worked, but now thwy are both totally passe´.

Now everyone knows why Ditty wears sun glasses all the time.

ew David burn tht hat

oooh thats so sweet:)!!! A MAN THATS THERE FOR HIS WOMAN....