Mar 23 2007Christina Aguilera is a chameleon

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I'm starting to think that Christina Aguilera is color blind. That's the only explanation for why she's always three shades more orange than every other person on the planet. It's like self tanner and orange highlighter are the same shade of gray to her so she just goes with the orange highlighter because it's always on sale. It's weird, because she showed up to the Nylon celebration looking fairly decent, and then just a day later she was spotted leaving her hotel in NYC looking like this. This is exactly what a pod person pretending to be Christina Aguilera would look like. Only they'd probably do a better job of match the skin tone of humans.

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and yet, she had the nerve to wear white glasses against cheesy skin like that... unforgiveable...

second.... again
fukin oompa loompa

Bitch looks sleazy and greasy, hit it but don't forget to bring a rag.

On the plus side, she still has her monkey. Isn't it cute that he's dressed like a real person.

she is taking lessons on how to be a retired Jewish woman in Florida from her mother-in-law.

I love her color, being tanned is so much more attractive than pasty white skin

Her boyfriend is one the people who killed jesus you know.

Look at the size of his ears! Dumbo?

marrying a ballsack like that really cleaned up her personal image tho. now everyone "realizes" how unsuperficial she must be. smart career move.

Her idol Marilyn Monroe may have been screwed up, but at least she never had skin the color of a marshmallow peanut.

erm. . . nice tan christina. *sarcastically*

She lives closer to the sun than the rest of us.

This is one orange I would love to peel. I'd look forward to geting my fingers all sticky on the rind. MMMMMMMMMM..... And the whole citrus thing works especially well since she has two grapefruit halves implanted on her chest.

Jason has to spray her before sex. The combination of pesticide and tanning lotion causes the color to be a bit off. If she goes back to having sex with his friends, her color may return to normal.

#15- Jason is what I call my dick.

#14 also- Jason is what I call my dick.

Orange you glad, Christina? tee hee.

You people and your "Tan in a Bottle".

So pathetic, yet amusing at the same time.

Fat girls love hearts.

@19.

And *fugliness personified* is your stage name at the "Hit a Stripper, Win a Prize" roofless shack that ya work at.

Your point?

@20 -- I was making a general statement lady, geeeeez. You porky people sure proceed to get unproperly pissed, probably post-menapausal palpatations.

@21.

You making a "general statement" is like a fly turning into a unicorn or michael jackson's attraction to ice cream instead of little boys, it AIN'T gonna happen.

So why don't you take your *general statement* and shove it up your hairy, hasn't been cleaned since Easter 04', so flat it barely provides cushion ASS.

P.S.

It's okay that you're obese (yeah, ya know you are) because atleast you have less time to live. So we ALL win.

Now go finish your Cheetos and post something on the actual story.

First.

Like me.

I always post on the actual story.

And I'm *funny* every time unlike the rest of yor fugly ASSES.

I did post something on the story at #13, silly. And I'm not sure where your anger is coming from (please DO NOT say over 400 years of discrimination). I simply had a thought that I inadvertently typed out. So your saying fat chicks hate hearts? Maybe it's because yours is the size of a carburator. They sell medication for that you know.

@24.

Get a life and quit posting under my name you product of beastiality.

DanYELL, you can put all the little hearts next to your name you want but it will never make up for the fact that you are a Sasquatch.

Sasquatch has a small heart too. And is much nicer to its biological and evolutionary superiors.

Oh jrz.....or is that you?

I can't fucking tell anymore with the troll infestation and all but, whatever. Your right. I'm getting rid of this fucking lame ass heart, it's a task having to post the code everytime I log in. Whatever.

Ya heard that "danielle"? Maybe the next time 'it' posts, Jizz Dispenser and whoever the fuck else will be able to distinguish between me and the troll.

Ahhhh.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah @28 your mother requests your services in her snatch. Get to it.

@30 -- (insert cartoon music usually heard after Wile E Coyote has an Acme bomb blow up in his face)

Now who else calls you Sasquatch? Of course it's me! Just to prove it's really me........
DanYELL so stupid she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

At least she's not wearing that ridiculous red Gwen Stefani wannabe lipstick.

"Thaaaaaaat's right Xtina... you like it when I call you that? (fwapfwapfwapfwap) Don't move your face a fucking inch... thaaaaat's it... no leave the glasses on bitch... open your mouth, good girl (fwapfwapfwapfwap) no, bitch, I'll get my hand off of your throat when I'm done (fwapfwapfwapfwap) fuck breathing bitch... open up, that's it... HOOOOOOOOLY MOTHER TEREEEEEEESAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Now get out.

@31.

(Enter a dick. This is usually the part when DNA blows up in your face.)

@32.

What in the hell? That doesn't even make sense. Did one of your 14 children tell ya that one? And guess what?

You're so stupid that ya confused Tylenol with a "Do It Yourself Floor Installment".

So go fuck yourself ya dingbat.

From the Oxford English Dictionary:

2 : lacking needful or desirable substance : WEAK, INEFFECTUAL, UNORIGONAL ; see also: TROLLISH

e.g. : You're so stupid that ya confused Tylenol with a "Do It Yourself Floor Installment".

Good lord, I forgot to write that as the definition to LAME. My bad (that's the right usage, right?)

Yay!

The Doc finally has distinguished between the trollster "danielle" and the real 'classy' one.

How many vodka's did THAT take?

"You're so stupid that ya confused Tylenol with a "Do It Yourself Floor Installment".

What ever could she mean?

I'm the real 'classy' one. I can tell cuz I've got DNA on my face, k?

Have some more vodka's, TROLL.

@40.

I'm not even gonna reply to you. Why would I even say some shit like that? I know that's you maxi, or maybe it's not but...who cares? The idiots can finally distinguish between the two so...

You can go buy that riffle now. Run along now. I think your mother's about to challenge you to a BDSM showdown.

Shoo.

a riffle?
DanYELL, the sad thing is that it's very hard to distinguish the real you from the troll you...you're equally incoherent and humorless. Have you thought about funny school?

JizzDispenser,

Come on now. Ok fine, ask me a fucking question that ONLY "danielle aka sasquatch" would know.

This feud has gone on since early 2006.

Think of something.

Xtinas colour is freakish somewhat like a cheesy Nniknak or Cheetos. Lordy, I hope she doesn't smell like them.

early 2006? no no no. More like September or August 2006.
Okay.....Sas...DanYELL..what high school in DC do I think you attended?
What's across the street from Trinity?
And tell me the name of one of the two apartment complexes across from Trinity. Not Edgewood Terrace, either.

#43 Who cares? Do you think you could shut your fat yap for more than half a day? Use your fist if there's nothing else big enough.

Looks like Cheetos had to do something with all that powder now that Britney's not eating them.

Oh yeah. The feud between Biatcho and I started in June, nevermind.

Catholic is across from Trinity. I don't know what complexes those are. I never look over there. But, I do remember you telling me after my "Infamous" sorry note that I should watch out for men running around stealing purses or whatever the fuck you said about it being dangerous. Whatever. It's me. I'm not gonna go back in the threads, like some people I know, and search for answers.

God, I'm not THAT unfunny, am I? If ya still don't believe me, ask another question doofus.

@46.

How about I use my foot in your ass?

Now shut the hell up ya dyke bitch!

@46 really! those two juvinille delinquents need to get a room, I mean they got up this early and this is the best they can do? boring! least you can do is come up with something entertaining to say re the true reason we are all here, in case you forgot it's to make fun of celebs, not hash out your personal insecurities first thing in the morning for all to read, I mean how pathetic are you?

Fish ~ where's my ANS up date?

Catholic isn't across from trinity. You're either lying that you go to Trinity or you're not really DanYELL. You can't even tell me what street Trinity is on. And everyone EVERYONE who lives anywhere in NE knows the apt. across from there. FRAUD!

#49 Wrong on both counts, you fucking labiaflapping diseased twathole.

And with all THAT said...

I'd Still Hit It Porno Style!

Hey, DanYELL--LOOK!! Now I'm a spade, too, just like you!!

50-- You use a lot of really big smart people words. Are you really really smart?

#50 apolloblu, there are people here who are at least funny, but this nasty little shitflinger danielle needs to fucked up the ass and have the cage door welded shut.

#50, go watch MSNBC for your anus updates, we're a little over that up in this piece.

manielle, I think you & i have been going at it since the Spring of last year to be honest with you. It's almost our anniversary! I feel sad now.

@51

Jrz, that was NOT me. God! And 46 and 50 can fucking shove it! I'm making such a big fucking deal because I cannot successfully argue with Jrz and others because of this troll infestation. So post your lame ass comment on Xtina and go about your business. Assholes.

Back to 51-

Well duh, ya idiot. The apartment complexes are across from Trinity, and up the street is Children's Hospital and VA Medical Center and Washington Hospital Center. Trinity is exactly in 15 minutes walking distance of Brookland Station. Catholic is down the block beside the old Pizza Hut that they turned into a Day Care Center. Bennet Cosmetology School is a few blocks down.

Trinity is on 12th street! And, I actually don't know the name of those apartments. Oddly enough. Hmmmm.

I LOVE you biatcho!!! But, that wasn;t my post. I think we started late may, not June. Who knows.

Trinity is not on 12th Street. and anyone could google a map of Trinity and know that the hospitals are right up the street.

You're right about the Pizza Hut conversion, however. But the 12th Street thing fucked ya. YOU ARE A FRAUD!!!

#57 Maybe if you weren't such a cunt you wouldn't have trolls. And crabs. And fuck knows what else. I'm not looking, the stank is bad enough.

It IS on 12th st ya dumbass! 3908 12th street. I just ordered my fucking official transcript and I have it right in front of me ya bum. 3-9-0-8 12th street. Gosh Jizz, what else do ya need to know? (crying)

@59.

I bet your a troll, aren't cha? It's written all over ya crappy little post.

this bitch's face made me so nostalgic for some good, old-fashioned 'mac n cheese' that I went downstairs this morning and made some for breakfast.

and that's not a joke...

3908 12th Street is NOT Trinity. In fact, 3908 12th Street is Ellis Island pub, DUMBASS! Don't forget..I used to live in that neighborhood....for 8 years. I know it very very well. You're full of shit.

Anyone can google 3908 12th Street NE in DC if they'd like, or the reverse, Ellis Island Pub--BUSTED. Can you say Busted?

So are you the Troll or are you DanYELL who doesn't really go to Trinity?

57 & 60....you are REALLY starting to creep me out. Seriously. Do you live by me? Stalker.

God, I go to class and come back to this mayhem.

Jrz, Trinity is on 125 Michigan ave. I don't even know where 12th street is.

Seriously, this troll is starting to freak me out.

nice back peddlin' with the google. You're from NE and you don't know where 12th Street is? Fuck off.

I'm in NE, should I fuck off too?

Apparantly shes also just plain blind, because shes holding hands with a really unattractive man. If this is what you look like after a spray tan, I'm definately never getting one.

Ok. This has seriously gotten out of hand. @66, honest to God I just got out of my 9:30 class. All of those posts did NOT come from me. The last thing I posted was under the Queen Latifah story at 3 this morning. All this other shit, not me.

I think I would know where 12th street was and duh...the Cloisters is the apartment complex, I think. There's always a tree blocking the sign. But, whatever. I think I've created a troll of all trolls on here. Scary.

#34 Dr. Whomever- Just a little tip for you. I mean, I know you say you're a doctor and all but sometimes girls like their hair pulled a little during that act of ummm.... fellatio..maybe if you tried that Xtina would really dig you.

Hey danielle, What up sista?

#69 You are also officially full of shit. You also pull this troll crap all the damn time when you get caught being stupid in earlier posts! No one believes you anymore so please just STFU. Sincerely.

Yes, Wal....I mean "red haring" you should fuck off too.

@71.

How about you shutting the fuck up ya dirty cuntbag whore?

To be so lame as to post 14,ooo comment under my name, actually having a conversation with myself and doing it all while I'm going over my calculus 101 quiz is a challenge in itself.

So do me a favor and...mind your own fucking business.

Wait, you must be the troll. I've never seen a TrimSpaBaby post on here before. But then again, you're a loser.

Get bent.

Wow, this is more fun than watching rednecks die from flying tires at a NASCAR event during a 12 car pile up! Jeff Gordon would be proud.

@54 -- Fuck you for making me nearly choke on my coffee with the "now I'm a spade too" comment. I had to convince the pretty lady that sits next to me that CPR works better when you use tongue. Works every time.

well, she's on record as stating she hasn't found her "real" self racially.
what you see here is one of the days she feels "mexicany". other days, she feels "whitey". so she puts lots of powder on her skin.

#73 You festering jizzbag, you're too busy talking to your twat, the crack in the wall and the remains of last week's moldy cheese sandwich to be aware of anything. - I've been posting for awhile which is more than I can say for you, if you can call those used tampons you throw around here posts. Same old shit, same old shitbag ho. Everyone's the troll, yeah, right. Get bent yourself, bend over and shove your jugeared head up your well-reamed ass - feels like home, right? Stay in a while why dontcha.

74--you're welcome. Now she can't call be honky Casper whitey almighty no more!

By the way, what's that you're holding there DanYELL??? OH! It's your ass....I just handed it to you.

.....goes to Trinity......yeah right *rolls eyes*

you can tell from the writing that's not danielle, jrz you lack rich's eye for trolls.

I went to a drag show last night, and their "Christina Aguilera" was far hotter than the real C.A. Pretty sad.

she has the ugliest shoes I have ever seen... they look like stiletto duckies.

#81 I know she didn't choose her husband for his looks - but since those shoes don't have a 12" dick I think she just has bad taste all around.

Don't ya'll rag on Aggie -- she has the greatest voice of any Cabbage-Patch doll on earth! (Did you know she has her hands stuck in her pockets b/c she's embarrassed about the fact that she only has 4 stitched-together fingers?)

Danielle every here obviously hates you, so why don't you just STFU already? Have a little dignity for crissakes.

Wow. Only about 30 of the first 81 posts were about Christina's citrus appeal. The other 50+ are all about/from/to Danielle.

You guys are giving her credit by turning 60% of every thread into stuff about her. Why not ignore?

Just a thought.

I wonder if she cakes on all that makeup to cover up bruises...? I've never heard that he slaps her around or anything so this is just speculation based on her physical appearance.

She overdoes the makeup and it hides EVERYTHING and then she overdoes the hanging on him, too. Just wondering...

ANS update: she's still dead.

Check out ET for more round-the-clock coverage.

Christina Aguilera is an excellent source of Vitamin C.

Look on the bright side, everyone: because Christina Aguilera looks like this, we'll never have to worry about her trying to become an actress.

Here's what it says when I try to post a comment:

"Comments will be moderated and obnoxious or promotional comments may be removed."

Hey, Superficial Guy -- GET ON THE EFFING STICK! About half the comments on this thread should be gone. I count at least one promotional comment, and a bazillion catty in-fighting comments that would bore the flies off a shit-farm.

Are you going to get rid of these comments? Or are you going to fly this Zero right into the flight deck of the USS Enterprise?

Ok, I'm out -- back to work for me.

She should do ads for Geico. Joke!

I agree with HollyJ (#85). That being said, the post at 19 that started this all was pretty damn funny.

I used to have a pair of glasses just like that when I was a kid, I got them from a fun fair.

how gross must it be to be the maid who has to scrub the orange rings out of Xtina's bath and shower?

i have to agree with #85 while we're remotely on the topic. all i gather from these discussions is that danielle is fat and of african decent, b/c she posted a picture of herself and richport, or something. big whoop. let the person who has posted a hot picture of themselves throw the first stone.

Isn't she like half latina? Why is she using fake tanner at all?

I would imagine fucking her from behind while wearing white pants might reveal my devious act.

please. she's about as latina as a marshmellow.

the whole latina thing was a marketing scam so she could (like mariah) sneak her loony trumpet voice into hip-hop.

that came out wrong. mariah is ten times the vocalist, but she used being "mixed" as an excuse to go hip-hop.

I am sooooooooo hung over.

@95 -- I partially agree. But I do feel it prudent to point out than danielle wears KFC flavored lip gloss.

tee-hee (okay, please don't eat me) i've got as much meat on me as a bird, wait, but not a chicken bird...fuck... my meat's tough. msg won't even soften the striated muscle...fuck...um, i swim laps. i taste like chlorine. don't eat me.

90--I bet you spent a lot of time in the school nurse's office as a kid.

shopped

http://popsugar.com/185850

funny tho

if we're gonna start telling the truth in here, i'm going to bed, yo ol' buzzkill the polecat.

104 I did, it smelled like Newark.

you must've gone to a really shitty school then.

Ah, so I see you know Newark well then.

Pelted - who the fuck doesn't know Newark? I am not from Joisey but I goddamn know you don't go to Newark unless you know a crack dealer that's got your back. and your front.

You know what else I know - you suck moosecock.

Very good! You're much better than jrz.

Biatch, you're CHEATING on me with that THING?
I bet you don't even know when OUR anniversary is.
I'm heartbroken. I thought we had something......special
It's SO over between us

Both of these dorks have the same noses - drippy, Farrah-Faucet-type jobs.

If that's how love is defined, that being the subtle weirdness of one's shnoz, then someone out there should start a dating service based on similar nose shapes. I'm just sayin.

well i guess she is not only colorblind, but sexy blind as well for dating that man. i know looks aren't everything but she is too hot for that.

You forgot to eat the period after is...

don't talk to me I'm SO pissed at you

#95, I actually did post a hot picture of myself, and that's when all the fat ugly insecure people started calling ME a fat hairy dyke.
Here's the thing, NONE of these people here have ever had actual pictures of themselves on any of their blog sites. Know why? Because then they wouldn't be able to annonymously be able to call everyone else fat and ugly
get it?

@117 -- Fat hairy dyke.

Sorry, I don't have a dog in this fight, just figured it had to be said.

118-President of the Chode Lickers Society

had to be said

that really doesnt look like her. her face looks small. wtf

#117 Yeah, you were just stupid enough to do that, and of course that makes you so much more perfect and brave and daring and virtuous than all of us, and do you think you might stop mentioning it by July? Due to laws of probablity, not all of us here can be fat and ugy, but regardless of our looks, we're sure smarter and less needier of approval by a bunch of strangers than you!

And, sorry, but you are on the chubby side. Deal with it.

And yes, Danielle is a crab infested gutter cunt! Be sure to put that on your name tag when the teachers take you on an outing.

Also Danielle, there is a 30 minute time limit on the library computer. Now go back under your rock slut! Your not funny, your only listening to yourself.

And posting to yourself GC! Noone is listening. I can't believe you even show your scanky ass here. Move on to another!

92. Posted by caljenna "...the post at 19 that started this all was pretty damn funny." (I did too) =X

#125 same here - those hearts! There's something just so psycho about typing "fuck you you fugly skank ♥" - it's like writing a ransom note in crayon. You know she's logging in on the asylum computer...

#126 That's "skank" with a "♥".

#127 I bet you dot your i's with hearts, too, you fat fucking whack job.

#127 ♥♥♥♥

Now piss off.

Her color reminds me of my piss when I take a megacap of B-complex.

I think she looks damn hot. Yah so maybe the tan is not the most flattering color, but shes still sexy as hell. What a body, and so pretty. Id give my left arm to look like her.

but thats just me.

Fuck it. If no one else is going to be white, I'm not either. I am now officially Anglo-Saxon and I share 87% DNA with the Basque population of Spain. Which also makes me Hispanic.

OOMPA LOOMPAs are real!!! and they aren't all stumpy little dwarf men in wigs!!!

LET ME EXPLAIN.

The day she was blowing things she was at an event, so she had her makeup professionally done, hence looked decent (and less like a trashy stripper).

The day she was leaving the hotel with hubby she did her won makeup in the bathroom of the hotel suite.

You see, Christina is rich so she can afford to pay people who are not of the white trash variety do her makeup in a somewhat classier manner. When she does it herself you get to see the three dollar whore she would have been if she never became famous.

It's like when you see candid photo's of “stars” when they aren't all dressed up by professionals and you think why does she look like a bag lady who dressed in the dark at a salvation army or why does he look like the hobo I gave a quarter to last week. It's because famous people are stupid and they are so used to having people wipe there asses for them that when no is around to do so they get shit all over themselves. True story.

*own makeup

My stupid spell check isn't working properly... I need to fire that child.

and wtf. is that a guy's jacket?

no matter how rich she is...

how dare she...
embrace...
the "armed forces"
in "candy man"

never give up...
...never surrender

looked like surrender to us...


if that is who you are...
then goodbye.


she's not a chameleon, chameleons change color to MATCH their surroundings.

Maybe she's had too much caramelmacchiatos because she starts to look like one.

The guy is holding her hand with his left hand...In their culture that's very bad because they're using their left hand for whiping their ass off.

Next time when the guy is grabbing Christina's hand with his left.She should shove the hand and arm of a modeldummy into his.Then walk 3 yards behind him leaving him in the impression he's holding her hand.

Btw: "Danielle"; "DanYELL" or what ever your going by today, you should really watch your comments twards pp it may start out as fun but as you know the internet is also a playing ground for some sick individuls, just going back thru comments you've left in the past it's not that difficult to find out just were you reside. Someone could take what you say literal and go 4.20.99 on you, not that I care personally but you sound young and I'd hate to think that this could be my child "just having fun".

Try sticking to name calling on the playground, an old fashioned ass kicking might be just what you need to reflect on this.

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