Mar 22 2007

Christina Aguilera blows stuff

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Here's Christina Aguilera help celebrating Nylon Magazine's 8th Anniversary Celebration. And if you're thinking to yourself, "Who blows out candles like that?" the answer is me. I also pose topless in doorways and give intense stares over my shoulder for no reason. I mean, who doesn't?

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FIRST HO's

she is so cute, I wonder when she'll be going into rehab...

She can keep milking it as long as she wants, she's still capable of looking good.

speaking of milking it...

she is hot and she can sing, AND she seems like a total slut bag freak of a whore. Whats not to love?

I wish she would blow me.

Look at the high quality pics of Xtina here.

http://www.yeeeah.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43

oh good, i see another RichPort photoshop opportunity in the making...

i was going to say "oh good, she's looking less like an oompa loompa" based on these pics, but then i checked the link that number 5 posted...

How is this Marilyn Monroe act not embarrassing her yet? She's hot, but vanity can only go so far and then it gets weird.

Can she be anymore annoying? gouge my eyes out will ya

Yum. In pic #2, her lipstick matches the trim on her bra. [pause for self-abuse at work]

Now if only the bra trim were actually the result of lipstick prints... Although then I'd probably just end up humping the pencil sharpener, and we all know that's dangerous.

And yes, my pencils are the size of a cordless phone.

Her waist seems to be getting higher and higher.
I guess that's what happens when you belt-out songs.

She wishes she had the body and sexiness of Marilyn Monroe. She's closer to Marilyn Manson than Marilyn Monroe.

"She's closer to Marilyn Manson than Marilyn Monroe."

Seriously? Get real. STFU.

LOL 13 - I totally agree.

Are my eyes deceiving me or is that HER on the cake?!?

How self absorbed can you be? I mean its like she getting off on checking herself out...

Who would have thought Christina would be the "pretty one" from the Mickey Mouse Club?

PS No one will EVER be able to replicate the real Marilyn. She was a true original. All the others are just hack wannabes.

Little known fact: I worked that party and was responsible for, how to put this, frosting the cake. I ate confectioner's sugar and melon for weeks, and tied my hands behind my back so as to preclude my urge to rub one out. Outside of a few strokes of the ol' frosting knife, I almost covered the entire cake with just a few well placed, heh heh, shots.

Shes weird, well but at least shes not shaving her head yet... LOL I wonder what shed look like with no make up on.... eewwww creepy :-/

No Dean, you got me! I'm not being serious. Imagine that....a sarcastic post on a site called Thesuperficial.com. Your use of "get real" and STFU, coupled with your obvious enchantment for Christina Aguilialigghoaodarara makes me think you're a great big gigantic faggot.

Yah...

All I need is somebody to do a brain transplant between her and my wife. Now that's America, baby!

...you know...Ms. Monroe was a size 14/16...

I am sooooooooooooooo putting my face on my next birthday cake.

Or jumping out of it, cause I'm one sexy biatch.

I find it steamy how she can wear skulls and make them hot. She is dreamy, isn't she...? (although HORRID w/o makeup.... Leave it to fantasy though...

After visiting the link up there, she does still have the oompa loompa color, but you gotta wear the wildest makeup to deal with the flash... have you ever noticed when you take pics of your girlfriends with makeup, their faces look ghostly? it's because of the sunscreen in the formula... and is that overspray pretending to be lowlights in her hair? Why can't people just leave their skin alone?! I saw vids of her the other day and I thought she was a mexican until i saw her face, then i was like WAAAAAAA?! (the video of her and britney and madonna)

Sorry for the novel...

Where is her pet Monkey?...I mean Husband.

I like her because she beats Britney Spears with her looks, talent, and (relatively) stable personality.

How cheesy can you get? Posing to blow out a cake like that, she's as big an attention skank as Paris Hilton. Just wait till it they age, and everything goes south, lol.

She's gorgeous and has amazing talent, but those poses are ridiculous. Just keep it real, girl.

I've never cared for her Marilyn affectation. I guess she doesn't have anything going on her own so she has to rip off an icon.

On the other hand, the media committed the blasphemy of comparing Anna Nicole Smith to Marilyn, so if CA wants to be lumped in with ANS, go for it, Hon.

Regardless, Larry "Bud" Melman was worth a dozen Christina's.

She's hot, to bad she's into scat.

30-Cheers to Larry Bud!

She is so cute now, but that pose is so contrived. I don't think that cake means she's an egomaniac, though - she didn't buy it, Nylon magazine bought it for her.

<======= Click here =============

What a skeezer!

not really sure what the big deal with marilyn monroe is anyway. what did she do besides pose nude and act ditzy? so yeah #30, it would make sense to compare ANS to marilyn monroe.

Gawd what I would give to stick my little tiny wiener in that.

Is she ever not "ON" and by on I mean acting like some kind of over the top prostitute.

#36, you mean the cake?

nice WEAVE honey. my barbies had nicer hair, even after my dog tried to chew their heads off.

pretty hot

Nylon magazine - she's on the cover of their 8th anniversary issue. That's why they invited her to blow the cake.

Off to google Nylon- I hope it's a fetish magazine.

anyone remember that christina shaved her head too? almost forgot. no one cared.

First.

Who in the hell would want to eat that cake after it's been blown by her?! I mean, she uses that mouth on that husband of hers. Ugh!

Wonder what her father did/didn't do for her that made her want to grow up to be a blow-up sex doll?

That's exactly what I was thinking, who actually blows out candles like that! Still, while I generally don't like her at all, in that first pic, I'd totally let her suck on it looking like that.

In other news, what the heck is Nylon Magazine and their celebrating their 8th anniversary of what?! I certainly hope this is for publishing their 8th issue ever, and not for 8 years of publishing, cuz after 8 years I've still never heard of them, and I tend to think I'm not at all alone in that.

I've never heard of that mag either, and I thought maybe it was sold wrapped in a poly bag...like porn, and maybe that's why.

They should've made her more orange on that cake, just for the sake of accuracy.

The only difference between Paris and Christina right now is that Paris put her imaginary Hollywood Walk of Fame star on her cake, while Christina actually did something worthy of topping a cake with.
Now if she could frost my tube cake, I'd be set for life.

BTW, anyone remember the pics of CA floating around a couple of years ago, where she had black hair and more rolls than a bakery?

She always sits like she's got a foot long butt plug up her ass. Or she's trying to keep her ben-wa balls from slipping out. Either way, something's going on up that skirt of hers.

Did you see the lips on that carrot? I could feel the vaccum of that meat tunnel through my monitor...

"She's closer to Marilyn Manson than Marilyn Monroe."

Got that part squirted out right bud. Everything about her is fake. Just another Britney, painted up whore. In person you just ask who let the little kid get into her mommy's makeup.

Ha, Ha! She's making the only BLOWING face she knows.
Sweetie, youre blowing candles not penises; close that cock happy mouth a little and think birthday party not giant orgy fest; it's your birthday not just another weekend.

I love how they didn't even try to put enough candles for her age. They probably got a memo from her publicist; Christina doesn't know how old she is so just put like 8 candles on the cake.

I love how celebs can't handle aging. It must suck when you look your age or even older. Happy Botox bitches!


She actually beat out Paris for pure sluttiness. I didn't think it could be done. And so clownishly, too. Wow. Pete Doherty still sets the bar but she is getting close.

She's enjoying playing glamour-doll . . . I think it's great! You only live once, right? Why live to please others?

Latina- and Westerneuropean blood,nicely mixed.Imagine there's time people looked down to you when you're of mixed breed.There must have been many jealous on them.This is one of the results now from the many different generations before.

She's about 96% Latina and 4% Westerneuropean...But who cares..?

Oh Christina, you sexy beast.

52, there is a difference, little it may be, between acting slutty and being slutty. clearly paris IS a slut. christina just acts like one.

and since when do guys not like girls who act slutty?

57. Nope, she's a real slut. Dallas Austin did a whole tape trashing her and Joss Stone for all the people they "fucked for tracks", including himself. He said that she was fucking him at the same time as her (then future)husband and a few other guys and hubby knew about it. I am just saying that now she is also ACTING more slutty, not becoming more slutty.

Man, I'd like to blow her, he he he...wait...

She is hot, period. She can still work it so let her. I'd like to see her get a nice deep conditioner & some Regis Silk Drops for shine though.

Anyone ever notice that she frequently displays a snarling Rocky Balboa grimace of sorts while smiling? (It's in pretty much every pic in the link posted by #5) Drives me nuts.

Anyway, while this look is better than her whole "lol I dyed the ends of my hair black" disaster, I think everyone is over her Marilyn Monroe fixation. Geez Christina, you're a pop star; aren't they supposed to change their whole look every other week? TRY SOMETHING NEW.

And omfg at the way she's blowing out the candles. Could it look any more contrived? "hay guyz look at how hott I am while I bloe out caek lawl"

Every second there is some stupid as party for celerities. They must hate themselves so much that they can't ever just sit the fuck down and spend some alone time.

I persoanally hate people very much so i actually enjoy having time for myself but these douches remind me of the stupid girls who can't even go pee without taking an army in with them. it screams of self hate and insecurity to have to be seen and be parting every single friggin second.

She's improved tremendously but she really looks like she's a South Beach drag queen.

#61 "hay guyz look at how hott I am while I bloe out caek lawl"

#62 South Beach drag queen.

HA!

Damn shes hot, id do her

whenever i see this little bitch i light up.

my panties fill with delight... and i didn't think i was into girls?

she must have powers

I want a blow job from her.

Hey, #51, so-called "i am so smart," you don't seem to comprehend what you read. You wrote:

Ha, Ha! She's making the only BLOWING face she knows. Sweetie, youre blowing candles not penises; close that cock happy mouth a little and think birthday party not giant orgy fest; it's your birthday not just another weekend. I love how they didn't even try to put enough candles for her age. They probably got a memo from her publicist; Christina doesn't know how old she is so just put like 8 candles on the cake.

If you bothered to read, you'd see it's not her birthday party, it's the 8th Anniversary of Nylon magazine, NOT her birthday. Why make comments if you have NO idea what you're talking about?

58, so you're going to believe everything you hear on some tape by Dallas Austin? whoever that is.

#67 whats my name?
Exactly.

I was joking; it's called a clever joke. I knew it wasn't her birthday as I demonstrated in my second post # 62. These douche celebrities go to some event every day. They might as well have a party every time they take a dump.
Thanks for biting though. I was just waiting for someone to go "ahem you didn't read the article; it's not her birthday, she was actually born on December 18th 1980 in Staten Island, New York like that annoying retard in high school who had to put their hand up every fucking second to interject some worthless comment or correct the teacher. Even the fat, ugly, badly dressed teacher hated that know-it-all kid. Now that loser has grown up to be a superturd who sits at their computer correcting the spelling and the accuracy in people's posts. Congrats your the superturd know-it-all here on the superficial! YAY!

Jealousy is so ugly...

So Paris Hilton's real name is Jealousy, huh, that makes sense.

What's up with the arms-over-the-head pose??? She ugly, even with the ton of makeup on her.

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