Mar 5 2007Britney Spears is the Antichrist, tries to hang herself

gross

FIRST!! Somebody shoot her and put her out of her misery already...

old news for those of us who already knew she was the anti christ.

I'ts about time .. .. .

She has a couple of problems.

damn...

Not sure about the boobs, but I loves me some watermelon.

Poor crazy Britney. It's past the point of humorous, and just scarry and weird at this point. And a little humorous. Probably the biggest indication that her life is inthe crapper is not trying to hang herself, but that she thinks more of K-Fed in her life will help.

wow, i wonder what's next? running ppl over in trafic with her umbrella hanging from the window screaming, I am the angel of the dark side!! man, she has soooooo lost it

Yeah right... This is something Tom Cruise would do, but not Britney. I don't believe shit of this story.

Now's the time to say goodbye
To all our company
Through the years we'll all be friends
Wherever we may be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse
Forever let us hold our banner high
M-I-C - See ya real soon!
K-E-Y - Why? Because we like you!
M-O-U-S-E!!

Is she becoming one of the Manson girls?

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but....RUN, K-FAG....RUN LIKE THE WIND. TAKE THEM BABIES AND HAUL ASS!!

I'd still do her crazy ass.

As much as I'd like to believe this, it's gotta be fake...

"The only way she could fall any farther is if she got huge boob implants and then drew a face on a watermelon and pretended it was her baby."

let's leave Anna Nicole Smith out of this.

Ummmm...

Is "News of the World" the most credible source?

I agree with #15. Gotta be fake

you know, at first i thought the press was blowing everything about her out of proportion...that maybe she was just going through a rough patch like everyone else...but holy crap! this woman has actually lost her mind. i can understand the antichrist thing, but taking back fed-ex???

I think I'm in love.

One of these days I'm gonna marry that girl!

at least the story made Fish update. it's not as boring as lindsay lohan or the skinny cracker twins, but of course it's fake - the staff at an inpatient rehab facility got "scared" and "didn't know what to do" when a patient had a freakout. sure they did. it must have been everybody's first day.

I'd like to see what her and Charles Manson's offspring would turn out to be ......

A singing homicidal maniac.

"Slash me baby one more time"

Prediction ... she will not be alive in 3 years.

The sad part is that this is actually somewhat believable.

that's really sad.

and scarey

It is 11am on the east coast.
This story is utter bullshit.
The Superfish guy can't rouse himself out of bed any sooner in the day to give us some mildly interesting Celeb gossip?

Anticlown has been advertising for writers. I can think of three posters on this site that could write better stories than Superfish does. I think the posters will need to save this site.

...she's gonna be fine

does that feel better?

respect and charity

africa might be good place to spend a few million

Detox is a wonderful thing. I'm surprised she didn't steal someone's wheelchair and play Professor X.

I'm certain it's been said before, but I'll see it again. With that shaved head, that girl is the definition of a bull dyke. I swear I want to stand in front of her with a rose clutched between my teeth while I wave a red cape in front of her. Viva la Bull!!!

And wow. I'm a sick fuck and giggled with perverse glee at her downward spiral, but this is getting just plain sad. Not sad enough for me to stop poking fun at her, but sad enough that I might have a moment of regret when she goes on a killing rampage in the rehab center.

It has to be all for show. How embarassing and sad. She's always wanted the media to leave her alone...... =0P

Why did they stop her???

Most people in the real world know that when you're trying to get custody of your kids you should be on good behavior.

please. being CRAZY is the only way to have a long-standing PERMISSION SLIP to NOT be free.

who wants to admit s/he is free? that would mean that s/he is accountable for everything she's done. she's faking it, for sure (see article link), but to make a pretty enlightened point (hate to say it):

"I AM NOT FREE"

well, who the fuck is, honey?

it's idealogical bullshit, signed and sold by the good ol' boys... forget freedom. what we need is forgiveness.

o

I don't know why her mum is not doing anything really. Why doesn't she force Britney to move back in with her so she can look after this crazy person who she brought into the world?

This is going to be the BEST episode of "VH1 Behind the Music" of ALL TIME!

I smell a three-hour special in the making!

PS Not to get off-topic, but does anyone else wonder what Cisco Adler's nuts are up to lately? We havent heard anything in awhile.

This is obviously not true. If it REALLY happened, the numbers across Britney's forehead would have read 999.

What she needs is a good cooter punch. Get her right while she running around looking like some freaky Ghandi, just a good, full-bodied uppercut to the cunt. The problem is she's got so many people babying her. She needs someone to get in her face, bring her down a notch - have a donkey teabag her. Watch K-Fag turn down her reconciliation. If that doesn't cause her to want to go see Jesus, I don't know what would. Getting back with K-Fag at this point would be like gifting a cutter with a year's supply of razor blades.

In other news, her bald head looks like Cisco's ballsac
(#36-now we know what's been going on with it)

Wow, Britney's really snapped. i mean here i was thinking Promises might clean up her act. maybe that was everyone's assumption. guess she proved us wrong then didn't she? that's britney! good ol' britney. i wonder what kind of drugs she'll take next. maybe next time we hear about her, she'll be the one that snuck outta Promises and tied a rope to a sheet and yelled "look everybody! its a kite! look at it go!"
~N@ughty

Attention whore. I wish she would just kill herself for real, then we wouldn't have to read so much about this stupid idiot.

@20. i think ur in love too. as a matter of fact, i think ur just the thing Britney needs right now. another crazy hudband. good luck in Rehab...i mean thats where ur going if u plan to marry Britney.
~N@ughty

i am not the father of that watermelon

Why can't I get Nelson Muntz's laugh out of my head??

Instead of lollygagging around on this site and typing about how Britney's Gone Bonkers - I, for one, am going to post flyers about town seeking her missing marbles. She has certainly lost a few. Adios!

36- Cisco Adler is cloning his nuts so he can have a klik-klakking Newton's cradle in his pants. Fun for perverted physics students!

Remember when they decided to divorce and everyone was sooo happy about that thinking she'd lose all that weight she put on and go back to being the famous-babe Britney Spears. I liked it better when she was married. But then again her becoming the anti-Christ is good, it is a step in the right direction away from the selfdenial she's been in. Soon K-Fed will stop denying himself and let his hair grow and claim he's Britney Spears. They make a fine couple, a fine couple indeed.

Damn their kids are going to be fucked up.

This story is so fake. Please. Next thing you're going to tell us Britney attacks cars with umbrellas and hijacks salons to shave her own head.

I can't believe you guys actually believe this crap! This didn't happen. Not only is it a fake story but it's not even funny.

isn't selfdenial a redundancy?

@ 41. Oh, if she killed herself it would be worse. It'd be like Anna Nicole Smith, only worse...it'd be all they posted stories on for weeks. It' be totally lame. Me, I am just afraid Woody Allen is going to die soon...imagine the weekend specials with AAAALL his films.

Kill 'em all Britney, kill 'em all. They're all against you...

Is any of this even true?

It was in an Aussie tabloid and now a UK.

Britney just needs to grow up--which will never happen.

Paxil and fatness then relapses and attention-whoring until she overdoses.

"I'm not a girl, not yet a human....."

Britney is fucking nuts. I never thought i would see the day, Britney is going to kill herself by the end of this, i can see it now

I bet Brooke Shields is ever so happy about her decision to reach out to this nutbag.

Note to Brooke: Just because she had your book in her face doesn't mean she was reading it. I've never read Down Came the Rain, but am fairly confident that Britney was just looking for pictures of weather.

i think the wax job we saw on her cunt is truely why she has gone nuts.
but....i would still go to town on that starfish

Lordy Lordy Lordy.

Jesus, this poor girl. Yeah I know the reason we're on this site and not fan clubs and all that shit. I feel guilty, and I feel sorry for her.
I hope it's fake, but even so, the sad part is it's believable. Some of you should try being in that mindset for just 5 minutes. None of you would last.
I'm so done with this site now. It used to be funny now it's just cruel, so bye, see ya in hell bitches.

This site is an addiction for me. I love it, I love the humor, but honeslty, Antichrist? Hrm. I do believe she would take K-Fu*kup back, though.

Since when does having yet another baby fix any relationship let alone a marriage??? This girl is so far past reality it isnt even funny anymore. What a selfish bitch to think its okay to keep bringing children into her sick little pathetic life for the purpose of making a life for herself. Its disgusting. I could go on for hours, hasnt even left rehab and got well but oh lets have another baby it will fix everything. just disgusting!!!!

"luckily she was unhurt"? According to who?

Look, someone could tell me that Britney stuck live grenades up a nun's ass and I'd believe it at this point.

nah, I don't buy it. People can make up any story that they want while she is in there. I'll belive it when I see the video on TMZ

I thought it was a joke... man, that's really messed up! How did she get to this point? What went wrong?

And in other news.... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

O, Superfish, please rise to your former brillance. This is some seriously boring crapola.

Hey Britney, next time instead of using a bedsheet use a loaded Glock, mmkay?

And quit drawing on yourself.

good lord she is getting annoying. im sick of hearing about her dramatic acts for attention.

I LOVE the fact that it was supposedly a "Friend" that released this story....yeah, Suuuuuure it was a friend.

Although funny enough I HAVE heard that Satan uses her Vag as a back entrance to hell when the front gate is too crowded.

Uh, haha. Nice. They should have let her fucking hang herself. She's one step away from biting it, anyway. 666...lol, what a tool.

ZZZzzz..................

Satan was like, Bitch...please.

She should marry Marilyn Manson.

everytime this chick does something crazy y'all say ITS FAKE....

HELLO THE BITCH IS CRAZY...
CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY

showing vagina, shaving head, being the antichist....it's all her

or maybe her entire life is being photoshopped....what a new spin on reality TV

OMG... Kevin was the good one... BS was teh evil one...

And when KFED says NO? Amazing...

You know of course that she is just going into attention whore withdrawels... No paparazi or fans clamoring around her in the rehab... Baby Spears needy some attention...

Dear god, just don't let her breed any more...

There just comes a point where it's not funny anymore, and it's sad to see someone spiral so out of control.

Where did you find this story? I can't find verification anywhere. Until then, I call bullshit.

I never thought I'd say this, but perhaps Scientology could HELP her. At least they'd "audit" her and keep her locked up for a few weeks...and wouldn't leak stories like this to the press. What kind of horrible rehab center releases statements about their patients like this?

I hope some real loony bastard walked up to her and looked her right in the eye and said, You, madam, are no antichrist! real hoity toity and then licked her face and went back to talking to the floor.

and remember when paris hilton was bringing down Britney's property value? oh my!

I never thought I'd say this, but perhaps Scientology could HELP her

sure they'll help her...
right over a cliff they'll help her

they are part of the "good ol' boys network'

...govt, military, corp hq, most churches

...or
...are
...you
...just
...waking up? : )

Has anyone started bets on when she'll kill herself yet?
This could be fun! The money could be used to fund a Britney Suicide Par-tay.
Fruit punch and pizza hut pizza for everybody!

#77 siren823

Click on the highlighted words "Tried to hang herself" up there in the article, it will take you right to the website of the British paper that published the story.

Tune: CRAZY by Britney Spears.
This is a little piece of lyrics by me about the recent life of Ms. Spears.

K-Fed, I'm so into you
You got that dope so what can I do
K-Fed, dope trips me about
I am a-shavin’, I look like a clown

Every time photo-graph me
My umbrella’s pumpin’, crazy, maybe?

You make me ugly
all I do is eat
I’m so saddened, turned into a freak
O-o-ohh...ugly, feel like anti-Christ
Look there’s a pool house, I’m go’ shave my thigh

Tell Me, you're so into me
That I'm the only one you’ll re-marry
Tell me, I'm not without clue
That I'm not just wastin’, my money on you

You make me ugly
all I do is eat
I’m so saddened, turned into a freak
O-o-ohh...ugly, I feel like anti-Christ
Look there’s a pool house, I’m go’ shave my thigh

Ugly,
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Ugly, feel like anti-Christ
Every Day and Every Night

You make me ugly
all I do is eat
I’m so saddened, turned into a freak
O-o-ohh...ugly, I feel like anti-Christ
Look there’s a pool house, I’m go’ shave my thigh

You Make Me Ugly (You Make Me Ugly)
Ohh..Ugly, feel like Anti-Christ
Look there’s a pool house, I’m go’ shave my thigh
Look there’s a pool house, I’m go’ shave my thigh

"allegedy tried to hang herself with a bedsheet"

tried ??

TRIED !?!?!?!?!?

looks like her fans aren't the only ones she's disappointing nowadays

i'll give you...
a less violent version
of what we gave others

...if the love goes
...what ya gonna do then?
...spiral down

...spin rules : )

I guess that is why she wanted her own area of the rehab clinic away from the other patients. So she could run around like a crazy person and worship the devil.

If she wants K-Fed back then you know she has completely lost it.

Actually after going to the link and reading the article, I find this a little hard to believe. She has been doing some crazy stuff, but this seems far-fetched. I will wait till I hear it from another source.

#38-Technically, all you need is one.

I was betting on this
Pay up! lol

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read.

This new Britney beats the old "Hit me Baby" Britney anyday. She's hot.

when you are more white trash then KFed, you have hit rock bottom. Popozao!

it may sound perverse and problamatic but wouldn't the suicide of britney make most of you people's wish come true? her life is so fucked up, i totally believe she would do this

This hasn't been posted on any reliable news organization's websites all day. This would be bigger news - the fact checking for "News of the World" is, I imagine, not so rigorous. You shouldn't have posted this without confirmation from a reliable source - I know it's a blog, but there's still some responsibility to be taken; people read this and believe it. Her career has been damaged enough without inflammatory stories like this cruising through cyberspace.

I agree with #94. Britney has been through enough, and there's no need to pile on with fabricated humiliations. At this point, I feel very sorry for her, and protective. About the only thing I can feel good about is that Kevin has been so wonderful as a parent and a support for Britney. I always knew he was a beautiful man, despite all the maliciously negative publicity.

i know she's crazier then a shit house rat and all, but i don't know... this sounds so made up. o.<

As she kicked out the chair, I heard the sheet ripped from the weight and she landed on an LA telephone book and split it in half.

Guess enough bad publicity and she really WILL try and hang herself.... You know. The please her fans....

She's mentally ill and going through a bad time - she' off limits for me to criticize. If there isn't a post of her for awhile, some of you could go up on the highway and kick the road kill in order to feel superior.

Right... Because people who get addicted to crystal meth, cocaine, ectasy, and alchohal truley deserve out pity... 40 million bucks and she cannot find way to live a decent life. The two kids should be enough inspiration for her to live well but they aren't because she is so self Centered. She si the queen of attention whores.

John Waters should direct her biopic. No other director would do her justice.

#95...I'm hoping you are the queen of irony. Otherwise there is a room right next to Britney's just for you. K-fed is a 'beautiful man'??? What the hell?

Britney might be smarter than we all think. They've brought out a Britney doll, complete with straitjacket and bald head. (possibilities are endless for merchandising here even for the accessories - this week its a bedsheet, black artline and an umbrella) http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?in_article_id=39090&in_page_id=7

Fricken hilarious.

99: So Britney Spears is off limits, but Michael Jackson and Anna Nicole are okay to make fun of? I'm sorry, but if you're going to do stupid shit like shave your head and try to hang your fat ass with a bed sheet, then you deserve all the criticism you get.

She needs to be euthanized.

If you posting News Of the World articles be sure the post about the woman having an aliens baby and the 6000 pound gorilla terrorising a small town in Ireland

Oh, gimme a break-- this story is faker than Jennifer Aniston's new nose!!

I'm impatiently waiting for her to slash her wrists.

im rich bitch! a made a bet about a week ago that she would try to kill herself now i have tons of money... now im making a bet that the next time she'll manage to comit sucide.

Dr. Phil was actually sticking up for her today calling her a good mother. Whaaaaaaaaat?

How about Britney's Mom hangs herself for creating such a sad and lonely little girl.

This story is way too funny to be true.

@ #94- are you on your period? stop being a little bitch about it. its just a blog like you said...and we are having fun. too bad people like you have to come along and ruin it. booooooooooooooooring.

Hey Britney, Satan called me the other day and he really wants his face back.

WOW!!! Didn't see that one coming!
#38 - you are fucking hilarious!

LUCKILY she wasn't hurt?! Psht.. Yeah right. Why didn't she get it over with?

I wonder if she spoke in tougues...

my phone number starts with 666. no joke.

i was at a yankee day parade, when a guy asked me for my number, and as i handed it to him, he threw it on the ground, and matter-of-factly asked me for my REAL number. and i was like, "it's where you dropped it," after which he spent the next few minutes looking for it, and then retreated in shame.

"Although funny enough I HAVE heard that Satan uses her Vag as a back entrance to hell when the front gate is too crowded."

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Do you remember the movie 'Nosferatu'?I think it's from the 20's.Maybe a new career opportunity for her?

25: Was I in the running?

Somebody else doing a parody song, LIKE MEEE? Well, mine is two weeks old, but I saved it. I changed the part about puking on the Humvee to something about this newest incident, and added a few lines about MTV, just to jazz it up...

BATTLE OF THE FUCKING BANDS!!!!!!

Bad, Bad, Brtiney Spears

*sung to the tune of Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown
by Jim Croce

Well the south side of Los Angeles
There's a hillbilly grinding her gears
And if you go down there
You just better beware
Of a woman named Britney Spears

Now Britney more than trouble
You see she stand bout five foot four
All the downtown tramps call her a dirty skank
All the mens just call her a whore

And its bad, bad Britney Spears
Craziest bitch that we've seen in years
More white trash than young Jethro
Dirtier than a junkyard ho

Now Britney she a gambler
And rolled the dice on Federline
No-talent wigger knocked her up fast
And cheated on her all the time

She got a pretty little nose job
She got pumped up boobies too
She got a worn out bald pussy between her legs
She showed it to me and you

And its bad, bad Britney Spears
Craziest bitch that we've seen in years
More white trash than young Jethro
Dirtier than a junkyard ho

They say that just the other day
Britney pretended to be the devil's whore
And two weeks before that
She partied with strippers
While her babies cried alone on the floor

Well we cast our eyes upon her
Crazy bitch is goin' insane
If Britney don't soon learn to slow down
She'll have nobody else to blame

And its bad, bad Britney Spears
Craziest bitch that we've seen in years
More white trash than young Jethro
Dirtier than a junkyard ho

Well Britney shaved her head clean
And the Superfish's penis wept
Fucked-up girl needs to head for the hills
There ain't too much time that's left

And its bad, bad Britney Spears
Craziest bitch that we've seen in years
More white trash than young Jethro
And dirtier than a junkyard ho

She was given so much money
For shakin' her ass on MTV
Given so many chances
That we didn't have
She wasted opportunity

She won't be sellin' no Pepsi
She lost the Sketchers contract too
When the money runs out, you'll all find out
She's made herself a sex tape too

And its bad, bad Britney Spears
Craziest bitch that we've seen in years
More white trash than young Jethro
Dirtier than a junkyard ho

More white trash than young Jethro
Dirtier than a junkyard ho

-----------------------------------------------------

Cast your vote NOW!

so...she shaves her head, gets a tattoo, beats up a car with an umbrella, goes into rehab...but tying to hang herself...THATS JUST OUTLANDISH!

Um, don't they have treatments for whatever mental illness she's suffering from? A padded room in some mental asylum seems like a good place for her right now.

Also, what's the point in getting a whole wing for yourself at the rehab facility when you have a "friend" spilling out all the dirt on a regular basis? And, more importantly, why can't this friend take some pictures and share them with us?

Depressed people rock!

She must be going through hell right now. Isn't it strange that anyone who hangs out with Paris Hilton long enough eventually needs to go to rehab? The fact that Nicole Richie is not so close to Paris Hilton also proves that Paris Hilton must be a junkie since they teach you in rehab not to associate yourself with bad influences from you past lifestyle if you are serious about staying off drugs.

HAHAHAHHAHA wat a crazy ass story!!!! man! britney is like the circus now...! I agree with #100. i mean she could have lived like a normal human...well as normal as a superstar can be.

You know, I NEVER understood the Britney Spears fascination, and I still don't.

The girl could never sing at all, so she got someone to write her some catchy tunes and then learned to dance.

She was never "sweet", so she picked the southern accent up a couple of notches every time she needed to sound innocent.

Britney never has been even remotely intelligent, so her fans blamed the stupid decisions she made on either her husband or friends.

She had no real charisma, so she danced with snakes and stripped off her clothes on stage for attention.

Yet through all of these painfully obvious things, people loved Britney Spears.

And now she is a horrible mother, a drug addict, bald, insane, and possibly the Antichrist...and people still "waiting for a comeback" from her.

I don't fucking get it.

A Spice Girls comeback is more feasible. And frankly, a lot more welcome.

#33 nice to hear from you.

95--nice try, JrzTroll, but why on earth would I suddenly have sympathy for egghead here after I just said I would believe she would stick live grenades up a nun's ass? And when the day comes that she does stick grenades up a nun's ass, I hope she saves a few for yours.

britney need a big help before too late!

Nice try Brit, but we all know Oprah is the anti-christ. sheesh.

I keep thinking that all of this boils down to the fact that Britney has been a "star" since she was, what, ten? Basically, she never learned how to deal with real life and real people and the stuff that happens.

What I'm saying is, if she had led a normal life before going into entertainment, then K-Fed or his equivalent would've been the standard obnoxious-turd loser boyfriend all girls seem to hook up with in junior high or high school.

Because Britney's famous, and never had the chance to learn how to deal with romantic drama like this with ordinary friends around to help, like most of us did in high school, she has no idea how to cope.

Most of the melodramatic dumb-shite teenage soap-opera stuff all the rest of us did in private is suddenly out there for the world to see.

She's out of her depth, and too rich to have to listen to anyone who says, "Girl, get your head out of your ass, and listen to the voice of reason and/or experience".

My theory, anyway. Your mileage may vary.

HOLY SHIT!!!! CAN YOU SAY "UNCLE FESTER?"

SORT OF LOOKS LIKE FRED FROM 'I LOVE LUCY'

#130 You are soooo wrong. Its all because of Walt Disney. If he hadn't created the Mouseketeer Club, we would never have been exposed to Britney. So there.

I'm in:

Pappi, can't you see-I'm balding?
A guy like you, I'll give a scalding!
I'm fuckin' nuts-
Stop your LOLing!

There's no ta-lent
I can't hide
I need a hit
Sony, give me it
She's hair-less
We're loving it

She's high
Can't come down
Shaves her head
Drivin' 'round and 'round
Feel sorry now?

With the taste for some chips,
She's on a ride
A choc-late drink-munchie run-
With a taste of the Hilton paradise
She's addicted to crack, don't you know that she's tragic?

exactly
what could be better...

...than if we had enough
...to provide that bit extra to
...our friends

but eventually...
you will all be the same

so work out
how to manage the irrelevant stuff
without letting it take you over
cos you just let it

thats assuming they get it

o youre going all corny on me

ok...

the good of the many...
outweigh
the good of the one...

or...

[are we nearly there yet ?]

ew

I just feel sorry for the poor thing now. It's really not funny anymore. Well, I guess it sort of is. But mostly I just feel bad. She probably has post-partum depression. Someone should help her and give her meds.

ROFL ppl nowadays do everything for a lil bit of attention... couldnt sell her body any better than her music so know trys to show off with this kind of bullshit...lmao

lol, i don't know if this story can get any weirder