Feb 12 2007Isaac Cohen spills about Britney Spears
In one of the strangest and most confusing interviews I've ever read, Isaac Cohen tells the News of the World that Britney Spears was a sex maniac and fell apart once the sex stopped.
On partying, having sex, and coping with her divorce:
"She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous. She was totally happy when we were locked in each other's arms. But once the sex stopped Britney was like a little girl lost, unable to cope. She would lie like a limp rag doll in my arms and and say, 'Why can't everyone leave me alone?' and, 'What have I done to deserve this?' By the time I met Britney she was burnt out. She knew she had been drinking and partying as a way to try to banish the bad stuff from her life. Far from the trashy drunk, I saw a very shy, sweet girl who was just desperately sad about what had happened with her marriage. Yes she enjoyed Jack Daniel's but she was trying not to get in the state she had been in with Paris. Her boys mean everything to her and she worried she might lose them in a custody battle. It was clear she was not over her marriage. The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us. She had not even begun to move on with her life. She needed me to hold her and tell her what a beautiful girl she is. We would make slow love until the sun came up. She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it. Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool."
On their trip to Vegas:
It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip. But we didn't stay long as we wanted to try out the bed. So we clambered on and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round. All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling. It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick. We had to turn it off."
On her figure:
"Like any woman who has had two children she worried about her figure. As far as I was concerned she was gorgeous, but she had such low self esteem she sometimes would not listen. She would say, 'Am I fat? Am I fat?' then spend hours dancing around the house trying to burn off calories. She was always jumping around. Other times, she got so low she didn't care what she looked like. She could not care less some days if she went out of the house without brushing her hair or checking to see if her outfit matched. That's just where she was in her life. She had so much on her plate with the children she had precious little time to worry about how she looked."
On Paris and breaking up:
"I rarely saw Britney with any friends and during our time together I never saw her with Paris, it was like that was a part of her life she wanted to forget. I adore Britney and in a different place at a different time we might have stood a chance. It was far too soon for her to get involved in a relationship with anyone. But she has coped with so much in her life I hope she does not give up now. She is too special for that."
What's wrong with this guy? He keeps using the phrase "made love" and speaks like he's writing a bargain bin romance novel. He probably has a giant poster of Fabio hanging over his bed. It's no wonder his relationship with Britney Spears didn't work out because apparently he has a vagina.
Reader Comments
1. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 11:25 AM
"As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us."
Dude, that was Sean Preston driving a dildo up your ass. He's very protective, but he didn't count on you being such a homo.
2. bedbugsandballyhoo - February 12, 2007 11:25 AM
Too much information. I wonder if he wore a Hazmat suit during all this?
3. Monkeypoo - February 12, 2007 11:26 AM
Sean told me she likes to go to http://www.seanodonnellshow.com after some anal.
4. Jay from the Bay - February 12, 2007 11:30 AM
Who is this Isaac bitch? He sounds like a blouse wearing poodle walker.
5. allyoops! - February 12, 2007 11:34 AM
i hate this guy for dishing dirt like this with such a sensitive vernacular.
when you describe private activity to a trashy tabloid, you must use the parlance of the time and occasion.
based on his description he should have said "boinked"...
6. serial snarkalec - February 12, 2007 11:37 AM
Leave it to Brit to find someone lower class than she to stick it in her. Mirrored ceilings? Rotating beds? Amazing views of the Las Vegas strip? Mr. Hump & Tell makes it sound far too romantic. It was probably one drunken fuck against the peeling contact paper countertops of Brit's childhood double-wide.
7. misanthrope - February 12, 2007 11:38 AM
Is she getting a nipple twist in that picture?
8. RichPort - February 12, 2007 11:42 AM
This bears repeating: real men DO NOT make love. He left her because she's fat and he's queer.
9. biatcho - February 12, 2007 11:44 AM
I love it when fat people ask "Am I fat? Does this make me look fat?"
The answer is a resounding "Yes it does because you are."
10. Zanna - February 12, 2007 11:44 AM
ZANNA
I THINK I?LL GO TO BOSTON
RAPE YOU IN A PARKING LOT
CHOKE YOUR THROAT AND WATCH YOUR
PRETTY FACE TURN BLUE
WATCH YOU FADE AWAY UNDER ME
SO NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE YOU
11. Joshingya31 - February 12, 2007 11:52 AM
"As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us."
What he doesnt understand was that Kevin WAS in bed with them.
12. JandalOfDoom - February 12, 2007 11:53 AM
#10 - Not taken your pills again today?
13. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 11:54 AM
Wally, do me the courtesy of a little research. You're not going to find me in Boston. I'm about half an hour west on the Pike.
14. N@ughty - February 12, 2007 11:58 AM
its not that he has a vagina, his nuts are just turning into ovaries, thats all. that usually happens with men who are gay but try to look straight. but then again, who could stay straight with a girl like Britney Spears? you know what? don't answer that. lol
~N@ughty
15. N@ughty - February 12, 2007 11:59 AM
its not that he has a vagina, his nuts are just turning into ovaries, thats all. that usually happens with men who are gay but try to look straight. but then again, who could stay straight with a girl like Britney Spears? you know what? don't answer that. lol
~N@ughty
16. JaeMae - February 12, 2007 12:01 PM
#4- "He sounds like a blouse wearing poodle walker."
HA!
17. F-Sucker - February 12, 2007 12:02 PM
This might be the funniest thing I have ever read........this guy is a complete pansy.
18. biatcho - February 12, 2007 12:04 PM
#10 - Wally: do you by chance originate from Florida & drive some type of 1970s Volkswagon? Because you totally fit the bill of the serial killer type.
19. krisdylee - February 12, 2007 12:05 PM
Wally needs therapy. In the form of a noose around his neck.
20. schack - February 12, 2007 12:06 PM
Sorry about all the caps people, I was yelling that last comment.......
21. elizabeththewellread - February 12, 2007 12:11 PM
Let's just be grateful that, if ANS's death teaches us anything, we only have to put up with this cow and her whoring for another ten or 15 years.
22. p0nk - February 12, 2007 12:14 PM
Wally, what is your fucking deal? It isn't funny or clever to troll people and nobody here cares enough to put up with your pathetic cries for help. Either get some professional help or off yourself already. Jeeeeesus Xrist Dude!
23. Pikachelsea - February 12, 2007 12:17 PM
Haha, what a retarded interview. Real flattering. So she spends her time jumping around the house and constantly demanding to know if she's fat -- enchanting! What guy doesn't love getting that question constantly?
I also love how he says it wasn't the right time for a relationship... yet apparently that doesn't mean they can't pork 20 times a day. Way to take advantage of obviously damaged goods. Real noble!
24. Zanna - February 12, 2007 12:18 PM
@23 - I think he knows it wasn't noble..that's why he said, "make love" and not fuck...trying to look like a nice guy...
25. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 12:23 PM
He was completely into it until their last buttfucking session, when he pulled out and saw a partially digested Cheeto on the tip of his cock.
26. CourtneyJade - February 12, 2007 12:28 PM
I have trouble believing any of this is even true. I think that the british tabloid just made some corny ass shit up and slapped it in their paper. I saw this Issac dude's myspace and nothing about him says that he'd ever talk like that.
27. polypam - February 12, 2007 12:31 PM
"We would make slow love until the sun came up. She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it."
I just threw up all over my keyboard. I'd dump a guy I was dating if he talked like that. Ech.
28. BarbadoSlim - February 12, 2007 12:34 PM
What a gentleman, so discreet this jew is, he just oozes, high-class and elegance, pity he wasn't around Germany in 1941'ish.
29. RichPort - February 12, 2007 12:35 PM
#20 - Didn't you tell us all, repeatedly, as if we fucking cared, that you haven't been laid in nearly 20 years? So now you're trying to channel Eminem? Very fucking lame. I mean extremely lame. Go find another group to harass idiot. And like I've said before, you know how to contact me. Stop being a little bitch. It'll be over before you know it... I mean I know your Dad used to say that to you when he lent you to his friends, but in my case, I actually mean it.
30. doomhammer - February 12, 2007 12:35 PM
I just want to know did they do all this before or after they went and hung out at the mall and smoked cigarettes outside Ruby Tuesdays?
Grow the fuck up.
31. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 12:41 PM
#27 - yeah, that one was prime: "We would make slow love until the sun came up. She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it."
"mmmm...backfat...yummy...asspimples on cellulite...oh baby...fat roll over double c-section scarring...so hard, can't hold back much longer...rodney-king-beaten-up pussy...oh so hottttt..."
32. siren823 - February 12, 2007 12:42 PM
Bi-polar Britney, get thee to a doctor's office.
33. schack - February 12, 2007 12:42 PM
Wally got with woodhorse
woodhorse got Wally
he was trolling on the Fish because he has a disease
Wally had a fucked up eye
because he has Bells Palsey
he's really in love with dieing hopefully he's doin it in TEXAS, Wally played war hero like a kid out in the rain, he lost his leg in Korea dancin with a train...he's really in love with dieing, he likes drinking from a fountain, that is shaped like a penis and as big as a mountain...........
He dont mind the sun sometimes or the image as it shows, he can taste you on his lips and smell you in his clothes. Cinnamon and sugar leaves, are softly spoken lies, u never know just how you look through other peoples eyes.........
34. RichPort - February 12, 2007 12:52 PM
Let's not forget Lowlands... that dude is a bastion of free time.
35. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 12:53 PM
#33 - That was beautiful. I'm going to put it in my book, "Teh Ghey Poetry".
36. Lowlands - February 12, 2007 1:13 PM
(34)'bastion of free time'.What do you mean with that Richport??
37. lisad71 - February 12, 2007 1:16 PM
"...She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it..."
Are we talking about the SAME Britney Spears? My man needs glasses ASAP! Britney is so flabby and nasty. Its like she and Tara Reid were swimming in the same gene pool. Yuck!
38. krisdylee - February 12, 2007 1:26 PM
I'm confused. And horny. And also high and drunk.
39. krisdylee - February 12, 2007 1:27 PM
I'm confused. And horny. And also high and drunk.
40. krisdylee - February 12, 2007 1:27 PM
See? ^^^^^
41. Mandy - February 12, 2007 1:41 PM
#31 . . . "mmmm...backfat...yummy...asspimples on cellulite...oh baby...fat roll over double c-section scarring...so hard, can't hold back much longer...rodney-king-beaten-up pussy...oh so hottttt..."
You are too funny. I love it.
Anyhow, can someone, anyone, tell me what is up with her hair? Is it a faux mohawk or what? I know that this is the least thing to be questioning but really what's up with it?
Also, is that guy's hand on her boobie? Going for it? What?
42. WiseMan - February 12, 2007 1:41 PM
SHE IS A NASTY FUCKING DISEASE INFESTED TRAILER TRASH BIRD TURD. WHY THE FUCK COULDNT THAT WHITE TRASH KEEP HER STINKING LEGS SHUT???? THERE'S ALLREADY TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THIS STINKING PLANET. INSTEAD SHE LET OUT SOME UGLY SHIT FACED SPROGS WITH THAT UGLY LOOSER KEVIN FAGERLINE. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SLICE HIS COCK OFF AND FEED IT TO BRITNEYS SLUT MOTHER.
43. WiseMan - February 12, 2007 1:42 PM
SHE IS A NASTY FUCKING DISEASE INFESTED TRAILER TRASH BIRD TURD. WHY THE FUCK COULDNT THAT WHITE TRASH KEEP HER STINKING LEGS SHUT???? THERE'S ALLREADY TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THIS STINKING PLANET. INSTEAD SHE LET OUT SOME UGLY SHIT FACED SPROGS WITH THAT UGLY LOOSER KEVIN FAGERLINE. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SLICE HIS COCK OFF AND FEED IT TO BRITNEYS SLUT MOTHER.
44. Regnig - February 12, 2007 1:51 PM
"blouse wearing poodle walker." bahahahahha - I think I just pulled something!!! LMAO
45. NipsyHustle - February 12, 2007 1:52 PM
he knew from day one that it was too soon to get with a woman divorcing but he wanted to get some mileage in the press from it.
i love that he swam in her spam and now is spilling the beans about how tragic she is. somewhere Kevin is laughing his heart out. Rumor has it she's been ringing his bell again since Isaac dumped her. Kevin might get to move back in. That would be priceless.
46. biatcho - February 12, 2007 1:58 PM
#35... huh? When I type it's generally coherent. Fuck off Wally.
47. LL - February 12, 2007 2:12 PM
Yeah, I couldn't read it all the way through, either - "As we made love that night..." Barf. Maybe Britney heaved in her car after she read that shit.
He's enough of a "gentleman" to refer to it as "making love" instead of "doing it," but not enough of one to decline to comment altogether. Of course, this is News of the World. I guess People and Us magazines wouldn't meet his price. Such a sensitive guy.
48. 86 - February 12, 2007 2:19 PM
This guy is a total fag. Telling your friends about your conquests is one thing. Telling America the dirty details of a fling just makes me question whether you have a penis.
49. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 2:20 PM
#46 lmao! Your troll assumed you were a little more up-to-date on current slang. Next time maybe he'll dumb it down. Hahahahaha!
50. wedge1 - February 12, 2007 2:28 PM
Typical weak-kneed pussyassed jewish mama's boy. They're all like that, it must be in their DNA. I think that's why the prohibitions against homosexuality are in the Old Testament - the men of the 12 tribes had a tendency to see the "promised land" as each other's butts. Jesus.
51. Mandy - February 12, 2007 3:30 PM
#31 . . . "mmmm...backfat...yummy...asspimples on cellulite...oh baby...fat roll over double c-section scarring...so hard, can't hold back much longer...rodney-king-beaten-up pussy...oh so hottttt..."
You are too funny. I love it.
Anyhow, can someone, anyone, tell me what is up with her hair? Is it a faux mohawk or what? I know that this is the least thing to be questioning but really what's up with it?
Also, is that guy's hand on her boobie? Going for it? What?
52. GooniesNeverSayDie - February 12, 2007 3:48 PM
That is a lot of inches to explore.
53. bluecanary - February 12, 2007 3:50 PM
Isn't this the same publication that had her hillbilly 55 hour husband using the British term "gobsmacked" in an interview?
I'm taking this supposed interview with an entire salt lick.
54. woodhorse - February 12, 2007 4:21 PM
She's not OVER K-Fed? How is this possible? I want to see K-Fed take Angelina away from Brad. $100 bucks says he can take Valerie away from Johnny Depp.
55. woodhorse - February 12, 2007 4:23 PM
#33 Eat shit and die Wally.
56. Kevin_FederSwine - February 12, 2007 4:26 PM
"As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us..." And if you read the rest of Isaac's pulse pounding diary of exploring "every inch" of Brandine's trailer park lusciousness, it didn't seem to slow him down a bit! Funny...if I were exploring every inch of my girlfriend's body and all of a sudden detected the presence of KFed in my bed, it would be time to get up, make a sandwich, pop open a beer and put on a John Wayne movie. No more exploring, time to put the little general away for the night and blow a mournful rendition of "Taps." The idea of Mr. PoPoZao signifyin' as I "explored" would be a real deal-breaker for me. But HEY...that's just ME.
57. Courtney - February 12, 2007 4:37 PM
When Old Mr. Superficial would write those charmingly degrading bits about women - like which horrible things he'd rather inflict on his penis than the vaginas of various skanky celebritants (hilarious!) - they didn't come off as pathetically sexist as this crap. What's the deal? Most closeted fags are funnier than this. I expect better.
58. sumnersgal - February 12, 2007 5:51 PM
First of all - what a fucker (although I said that about Howard K already) but - c'mon guy you were just the next KFed -
Secondly - I LOVE THE FUCKING SMART ASSES IN HERE!!!!!!!!! You guys rock!
59. oh, you sly boots. - February 12, 2007 7:16 PM
lmmfao.
"....rodney-king-beaten-up pussy...oh so hottttt..."
60. It needs to be said - February 12, 2007 7:39 PM
To #10 Wally~
you sure know how to sweet-talk a gal. I see them standing in line for a chance with you.
61. diamondprynzez - February 12, 2007 7:48 PM
He's speaking in parables, guys:
we would make slow love until the sun came up= She passed out before we ever made it to the bed
her boys mean everything to her= little spf begged his mom to come and she hung up on him
she has an amazing body and i loved exploring every inch of it= she had so many damn inches on her fat ass my arms couldn't fit around her
62. licklick - February 12, 2007 8:45 PM
Banging some fat stupid cunt in a rotating bed above the strip in 'Vegas is low rent, not hot fantasy. Especially when you know the bitch brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels and has left two kids somewhere screaming for their Mommy.
Issac Cohen has again revealed what a jerk off he really is.
63. Danklin - February 12, 2007 9:20 PM
"it was like Kevin was in bed beside us"
He probably was.
64. sharpei dude - February 12, 2007 11:52 PM
No fucking way this guy was sober when he was porking this waste of space skank. And no fucking way he enjoyed it the way he claims. Guaranteed that boning Britney is about as close as you can get to violating a farm animal!
65. MrSemprini - February 13, 2007 5:35 AM
I got a thought. Lets put Britney, Paris Hilton, Scarlet Johansson and Cameron Diaz in a dark room with one knife. Then we can wait to see who comes out alive. Of course, knowing them, they could just have an orgy and there's no camera. Dang.
66. PrettyBaby - February 13, 2007 8:22 AM
#56 Fucking Awesome!hahahhaha!
67. k - February 13, 2007 2:12 PM
this has to be fake. it talks about a wedding dress in a box? last i checked they got married in track suits. nice try.
68. stuckinaneffinpothole - February 13, 2007 5:38 PM
did she pay this clown to say this about her?
69. globohobo - February 13, 2007 7:02 PM
Wait wait wait...
"The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us."
So they "made love" the first time he went to her house? Hmmm... she wasn't slutty at all...
70. Seamus Begonia Smell - February 17, 2007 9:29 AM
Oh writer/editor...you misogynist piece of trash.
71. JOEYSGIRL02 - March 12, 2007 12:21 PM
ok, he says that she was definately not over her marriage, she was a lost little girl, she wasn't ready for this blah, blah, blah, yet he had no problem screwing her and then telling the world about it. i hope isaac cohen is seen by millions for what he really is! he's a nobody trying to get rich off of her very serious problems just like her 1st husband Jason.
72. HollywoodSnark - March 24, 2007 5:33 PM
well, that's actually a good picture...but she fell apart way before that...