Feb 13 2007Anna Nicole Smith's baby has another new father

Ha!

Prince Frederick Von Anhalt said while he was sleeping with her she told him she was sleeping with many many other men as well. CNN reports up to 20 men could be the father.

It was definitely her bodyguard.

You don't have to dig up MLK, you could just extract some DNA from a monkey at the local zoo. It'd be virtually identical.

Have you guys ever seen that movie "Kids".......

I bet it was 'Casper'............

There is something i must tell you all.... the real father is meeeee!!!!

I'll save you all the time and effort. I'm Anne Nicole's baby. Oh no wait. That's not the question. Ahem. I'm Anne Nicole's baby's Father. Maybe!

I would like to say I am the baby's father, but unless my sperm found a way to traverse the tundra between anna nicole's pooper and her verginny, I'm gonna bet I'm not the daddy. Dang.

This is almost exactly like the South Park episode where I tried to figure out who my dad was. Maybe it's time for an emergency new episode...

Wow, another one? I think every man she has come in contact with in the last year should have a paternity test. It could be some guy who pumped her gas.

Has K-Fed come forward yet?

#4 - jrztroll: (yawn)

I would believe that up to 20 men could be the father. It's called a "gang-bang". Not a science experiment, like the movie "Twins" was based on. 8^D

The feds are going to have to step in & fund the "ANS testing program" of all males age 12 and up. Eventually, someone's DNA will match up & this circus can end. If we're lucky, it will be the troll running around this site, and he'll be too busy to ruin this site anymore.

Too many men seeing too many $$$$ here. Pathetic.

This poor child. Not only was her mother the world's most cuntacular side show, now every man in the world is claiming to be her father. She is already destined for greatness ("Jerry Springer", "Montel", "Maury")!

At some point she is going to die from lack of blood just trying to keep up with the demand for her DNA!

Actually it is me who is the father of her baby. I remember it very clearly like it was yesterday. When Anna Nicole took her old husband J. Howard Marshall to the clinic to collect the sperm, they stopped at the local gas station bathroom because his urine bag was full. I never had sex with such an old man before, but I also never throw up so much before either. But to make the story short, the old man played a joke on them all and collected the sample from his leaking bum. So, there.
Btw, I'm selling my story for $1 million...

OK, OK. Ive got it. The father is Professor Plum, in the alley, with a limp whiskey dick.

I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but...

Personally, I think this is going to turn out like that cliffhanger South Park episode.

Dannielyn's father is actually Dannielyn's mother.

CRAP!!!!!

Is there a betting line on this in Vegas yet? I'm thinking I could really cum into some money with my pick ... Daniel.

I'd like to come forward and say that I'm NOT the baby's father. I'm pretty sure everyone else IS (especially women), at this point. That is all.

i'm pretty sure i'm not the father. she's got some big ass tonsils.

i'm voting for that prince guy to take care of the baby....he seems to be the classiest of the bunch

I'm not the father, but I did nut in her eye....

Could this story be sadder? Any fk with a penis who wants 15 minutes of fame can come forward and say maybe he be the daddy.

Horse teeth!!

It's be pretty funny if after the DNA test none of these guys coming forward are the father.
Some of these comments are really unfunny and not in the sense that they are offensive, but that they are just lame.

I have come out here to say this because I know this is the cultural epicenter of the universe.

I am the father and I know things about Anna Nicole that no one else knows...

For instance, she didn't like to be called a shitface. She had two, large breasts. She loved to eat and the thing that will astound many of you is the fact that she never went to college.

Our night together in the drive thru of KFC was magical. Long before "Dick in a box", there was "Dong in a bucket". I think the chicken grease helped my sperm beat all the others in the great race.

I want neither money nor fame. All I want is the bucket back.

#25 - that's because RichPort and jrzmommy didn't post those comments. Those two are really really funny. Just ask them, they'll tell you. Or don't ask, they'll probably say it anyway. And that's how you know they're funny and other people aren't - they'll tell you. That's important, because otherwise you wouldn't be able to make the distinction.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm the father and I'm not even a guy.

I think they should just roll her corpse onto the Maury Povich show and get this settled. Then each time he says "You are NOT the father" someone can roll her backstage to have a tantrum.

Hi All,

I normally don't say anything and I just enjoy the back and forth "smack" that goes on here. A lot of it is pretty damn funny and for the most part harmless, but I have to say that it gets pretty tired with "jrzmommy" and her constant one note, unfunny racist remarks. Most of the time her remarks make no real sense (unless your a 14 year redneck from 1960!). I don't mind racial jokes, in fact I could care less, but at least be somewhat funny, a little intelligent, and provide something new once and awhile. I think I know "jrzmommy"! Where do you live in Teaneck, Passaic? 5-story walk-up with 1 bath or one of those lovely 1950 Jersey ramblers with the fake above-ground pool? What, your husband works the day shift and you the night? (Lord knows you're not working during the day to be on here as often as you are). I suspect a really bad blond dye job (60% of the roots showing), and tipping the scale at about 175 lbs (height about 5'1"). There's got to be a reason for your daily useless racist pronouncements (we get it already - YOU DON'T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE). This will be shattering to all the people of "negro" descent who looked up to you and wanted to be like you. Please go to a new site more to your liking, like the "KKK Today" or "White Supremacyblogger"

This could be solved in an episode or two on Maury.

This would be a lot quicker if we just focused on who is NOT the father. Michael Jackson..that's a pretty good beat...JFK...Fred Flintstone...yep, pretty much covers it.

RIP and all, but is it just me or is anyone else getting a little tired of seeing the headlines dominated with this ANS stuff?

Lesbianesque is the father. I would say it's Wally, but we all know he has no nuts.

Well we know RichPort isn't the father, because she's a very beautiful fair-skinned girl. No traces of mudpeople DNA whatsoever.

For the record, I love Black people. They taste great with barbeque sauce...

(thunderous applause)

Seriously folks, I have so many Black people in my family, you'd think a prison riot broke out. Yes, we are the fucking rainbow coalition at home. I get racial on occassion, but the idiocy here of late is blatant and gratuitious. Every few months some assholes in need of attention come here and chase everyone off with their moronic leech tactics. Then everything starts to be funny again when the assholes get bored. By my calculations, that should be about April. It's a shame really, because some of you are hilarious. The high school shit is really lame. If you want to attack someone, go for it. Just use your own handle and make it for something worthwhile, like chastising them for WRITING IN ALL CAPS or spleling al fcuked up.. Losing all of your internet friends doesn't qualify.

Fake jrz, I left traces of mudpeople all over your bed when I was done with your cow of a mooooooooooooom. What can I say..? I'm a chubby chaser.

AnybodyMakingSense,

That's because the people who are posting as richport and jrzmommy aren't really them. They come online for a while and amuse themselves with homophobic racist remarks for a while and we all just basically ignore them.

Now, back to the topic at hand, just to be clear....... We have 7 babydaddys at this point, right?

1. Howard K.
2. Larry Birkhead
3. Mr. Zsa Zsa
4. The Bahama official (yes, he's black but we're going for numbers here)
5. The Bodyguard
6. The dead husband's frozen sperm
7. The guy who let her use his house in the Bahamas (we only have HIS word that he has had a vasectomy)

Damn. I don't even KNOW seven people.......

I'm also totally finished with this sea-cow!I'm even not interested in who's the father of her baby!Big turn off!

#37 - That's a too general a statement to be true. The real RichPort and jrzmommy both make homophobic comments all the time. Take a quick look at the archives and you'll see what I mean. I don't think the real RichPort makes racist comments, but jrzmommy does. She's more homophobic than he is, and it's a short throw from there to racism, in terms of hate speech. Again, nobody has to take my word for it, just look through the archives. You can't miss it.

My apologies then. I always attributed all racist/homophobic remarks to their trolls. That makes me kind of sad b/c I liked the "real" jrzmommy and richport.

#39 - Do you write your archives on animal skins up in Queerbec?

Juliabella is an authority on clubbing baby seals... not trolls.

See? He's got a little bit of homophobic stuff going there but all in all nothing really objectionable. Not friendly (to me), but certainly not antisocial, and funny at times. Not so the other one. I didn't say I was an authority on trolls. I said people could look through the archives and make up their own minds, if they really care, which they probably don't. How is that unfair?

The French are funny, in a please don't shoot me sort of way.

Ahhhhhh, so this is the "real" richport then?

Yes and I hide money from my French boyfriend under a bar of soap, knowing he'll never touch it. And so on.

#44
True.......except for that whole American Revolution thing where they saved our asses.

(40)It's not because of you dear.Every year just before Valentine day i'm getting turned off from some girls.At the end of this proces there must be one left,i hope.

(40)It's not because of you dear.Every year just before Valentine day i'm getting turned off from some girls.At the end of this proces there must be one left if it's right.

What happens when you spray deodorant on the French?

They disappear...

When they saved our asses? That's like sometelling you everyday for the rest of your life "remember that $5 I lent you..?"

(49)Trolling is also a turn off!

Gawd some of this crap is so friggen immature

WHORE

#37,

If that is the case then I apologize to the "real" "jrzmommy". That makes the fake one (or one(s)) even more pathetic - probably guys at that.

BTW: The "real" Richport is funny!

LISTEN PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

Stop all this bickering!!!!!!!

Let's focus on what's really important: Tragic details of ANS, and making fun of them. To wit–

Whore in the Wind

Goodbye Anna Nicole
Though you never blew me at all
You had the wisdom to get implants
Because your tits were so very small

You crawled out of the woodwork
And you whispered into the brain
Of an aging Playboy
And his magazine made your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a whore in the wind
Always knowing who to cling to
When the bills came in

And I would have liked to have blown you
But I was just a kid
Your career burned out long before
My boner ever did

Your marriage was tough
The toughest role you ever played
That old billionaire made you a superstar
And money was the price he paid

You got fat as a house
And then burned it off so easily
While you made a fool of yourself
On reality TV

Then you rose again like Britney
As a colossal pain in the ass
A celebrity for no reason
For an audience with no class

Even when you died
Oh the press cut you down to size
All the papers had to say
Was that you fucked up your childrens' lives

Goodbye Anna Nicole
From the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as nothing more than sexual
No more than just a stupid ho

Maybe James Brown will be the next one to rise from the dead & pronounce himself to be the baby's father....God, what a freakin' circus!

sid, dude, I know you're a writer (?), but everybody's heart just sinks when you post your endless drivel. It's annoying to have to scroll past it. Nobody clapped during your first performance of this "piece" (wipe wipe wipe flush), so I have no idea why you thought we wanted an encore. I hear Chuck Barris calling for the gong. Ask not for whom the gong tolls, sid; it tolls for thee.

#39 - For the record, Julie Bell, jrz and Rich only make racist & homophobic comments to specific posters, like you, Lezboesque, DamYell, & the Wally-troll. Not to an entire group of folks.

You got an example from the Archives to prove us wrong? Bring it out. Most likely it came from the trolls. Those aren't tough to figure out.

Rich - check out the name on post #27. Know what Craig Stadler's nickname is on the PGA Tour? THE WALRUS! Like Ass Troll is so smart that no one can figure his game out. What a used up sack of douche!
Wally is like a virus written by someone living in Korea or China. They go through all the trouble to make a morphing virus, but the English in it is so bad that you know immediately that the message is a fraud and you delete it.
Troll - you've been deleted.

I thought someone said richport was funny... I'm disappointed.

Oh, please, God, PLEASE make the real father be someone like Pat Robertson or Jimmy Swaggert.

Richport, I posted my Candle parody during the last moments of the ORIGINAL Anna thread at #395, on a thread that got 410 posts before it was wiped off the main page
http://thesuperficial.com/2007/02/anna_nicole_smith_rushed_to_ho.html#comment

Almost nobody was reading at that point.

I'm posting it here, in a minor Anna thread, AFTER this thread has already fallen down the list. To wit, most here have still not read my parody yet.

"To wit" means, "that is to say."

So, I'm gonna post it once more in another thread, at my discretion, so somebody will copy and paste and it'll get on the net, which amuses me, and then I'll stop posting it.

See, Richport? You don't matter. I'm gonna post it again. Whatcha gonna do?

Look, bub, anyone (such as you) who comes here to pick fights is a loser. No need for a cute remark, just good ol' simple "loser" does the job.

I post, I compliment others on a good post, and I get a kick out of getting a compliment myself every now and then.

People come here, express themselves, and sometimes we give each other a laugh. When I read a post I don't like, I ignore it and forget about it. You like to pick a fight. Why? WTF for? This isn't a messageboard; it gets wiped clean every two days.

A Chuck Barris reference? North of 30, are we? Where's your career? I don't punch a clock–what's your excuse?

I check in here twice a day or so. I get a glass of wine, write a post as long as I like, and it's fun. Not all my posts are long. As long as people don't do this: SHE SUUUUUUUXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it's all good.

But you? You wanna pick a fight. You keep the cliché alive, Richport...

...get a life.

#41...Look, man it wasn't funny the first time when we read it. Trotting it out again just makes you look desperate, needy and...not funny, again.

there wasnt this much news coverage when the pope died,enough already!!!

59. You must be confused. I'm sure that you heard RichPort is "gay", not "funny". Details, details, ...

My God, the drama is killing me. If I'm not worrying about who the real babydaddy is then I'm worrying about who the real richport and jrzmommy are. Who are these people? Where do they come from? How can we tell the difference and why are other people pretending to be them?

You see........THIS is why I can't hold a job.

Well.........this and the chronic alcoholism. But mainly this. (and the alcoholism)

65, 66...Now that was funny! Reminded me a little of WKRP when Carlson started a speech with: "Radio. What is it? Where did it come from, and...where is it going?"

At that point, Johnny Fever fell asleep.

Damn, I miss that show.

At this rate, Liberace could be the father and no one would be surprised.

(Yes, I know he's dead and he was gay, but statistically speaking, it is entirely possible given the number of possible fathers this poor child supposedly has.)

#61 - sidney, don't be put off by my troll. I'm sure your rendition of that Elton John classic would sound excellent with musical accompaniment. The only thing cliché is that the troll keeps getting otherwise funny people like yourself to respond and attempt to insult. Don't fall for it. If I'm attacking you, you'll know. That said, I've learned in the past, if people don't read it once, they won't read it a second time.

I must say the adoration and focus on me is charming and flattering, but please stay focused people. Wally Ass Ferret Gumboot and his kin love any attention, negative or otherwise. Please write your local VA hospital and ask that your tax dollars stop supporting an aging Korean War in-denial homosexual pedophile and his sex change therapy.

I'm leaning towards slug-type hermaphroditism. That would explain all of the secrecy (and the trail of slime) that followed ANS wherever she went.

(That was no slime trail - that was Howard K. Stern! Nyuk nyuk nyuk..... foghorn sounds)

I have confession to make...I'm the babie's daddy.

You know, ANS is not a story. She was a stripper turned Playboy model, turned gold-digger, turned drug addict. She had nothing to offer society and when her world fell apart she, sadly, didn't have the skills or ability to save herself. She was an empty shell. She had no real "talent". She was just a bombshell.
She surrounded herself with losers who only wanted "in" on the action and didn't care about her at all. It's a pathetic waste but her life and her sad end have no impact on anyone other than her family. Everyone else is just salivating over the dirty details. As the daughter of someone who was addicted to prescription drugs, it's sad and painful to watch her slurring her words on tv every night.

Just a reminder, the DNA will reveal the father of Daniellynne is Smith's dead son Daniel. She ,Anna Nicole Smith, fucked her son. Her Daddy is her brother. We are in hillbilly heaven!

what a bunch of douche bags.....why don't they quickly do a dna test and put this to rest?