Feb 26 200779th Annual Academy Awards

First??

Second? and my first comment.

wow, how did J-Lo get Skeletor to attend with her? That is seriously one ugly MoFo

and now for my real thoughts...someone needs to tell Jennifer Hudson that Reynold's wrap is soooo last year.

Somewhere in a small town...a bakery is missing that confection Zhang Ziyi is wearing.

Nicole Kidman proves why looking good is the best revenge. Reese Witherspoon...doesn't.

OMG!! Look at the guy behind Penelope Cruz in the 3rd Pic. Who said Mullets were dead? Yeah! Go Joe Dirt!!

Fuck the academy awards. And Jennifer Hudson is a cow.

There's Anne Hathaway looking bow-dacious.

Penelope Cruz is being attacked by a large blanket!!!

Anne Hathaway - is that half a waiters waistcoat you've strapped to your dress?

Cameron Diaz - Did you borrow that dress from a collection of costumes from Star Trek series one?

These are some boring pics though in general - I look forward to seeing the after party pics where everyone will get really drunk and forget about looking all perfect. I think Nicole Kidman will get wasted and start to table dance and people will throw their drinks at J-Lo and Skeletor for trying to inflict another one of their crappy spanish love songs on the other celebs. Oh, and there will def be a bitch fight between Cameron and Scarlett in the ladies toilets..my money's on Cameron

WTF is up with Jennifer Hudson's luttle pimp jacket? Her dress was ok, but that jacket is off the chain and in a bad way.

And Cameron Diaz should really just go away. She's not pretty and the sound of her voice makes me cringe.

Hmmm, skipped the boring awards but did watch the Departed on the big movie screen in HD-DVD this weekend.
It's not so fomulaic like most screenplays and riveting.

Penelope still looking like she has some sizzle, Hathaway looking healthy and no longer appearing as the daughter of The Joker from Batman's original series.

The Chinese girl is cute, but have no idea who she is.

JLo appears with her grandchildren at the event. Worst puffy "Am I or am I not pregnant" dress.

this isn't "holding me over" - much better was FameIsFunny's TRIBUTE which had me laughing and wishing I could think of a snappy come-back - if only I were clever like Wally who maybe should be called "Shock and Awe" but George W. already took that one.

I have seen a lot of lame on the internet over the years, but these people being proud of getting first post? WOW. "Get a life" has never been more appropiate!!!!

Who can say these are boring pictures? Nicole Kidman has been replaced with an artificial mask; Kate Winslet has had sex reassignment surgery; Cameron Diaz showed up in stylized toilet paper; Reese Witherspoon's chin has morphed into a sentient evil being hellbent on world domination; Zhang Ziyi apparently misunderstood somebody's explanation of a "tart"; and Naomi Watts is channeling Charlie Brown. That's not boring, that' freakin' awesome.

Jennifer Lopez looks like she's wearing a maternity dress,(this is an improvement over the two titty straps she wore a few years back), Zhang Zihi is wearing a birthday cake and Cate Blanchett is encased in steel. Reese Witherspoon's and Penelope Cruz' dresses are passable.

I'm going to withdraw my vote on Penelope Cruz' dress. Too many swans had to die to make that dress.

Penelope Cruz looks like she's swathed in Muppet puke. Terrible.

Zang Ziyi or how ever you spell it looks like a little cupcake. Ironicaly she looks like she's never had a cupcake in her entire life.

Cameron's hair looks like ther's all kinds of glue in it.

The dresses sucked this year.
That's the best part too. So all in all it was boring plus did J-Lo bring her unread husband? Shit I didn't even notice.

and anne hathaway, wtf, are you kidding me? a huge bowtie on your tits or some kind of wings or something? did she put that on and looked in the mirror and said "this is perfect" i hate her even more now. pay your stylist bitch!

What??? No pics of the nominees for Best Sound Editting or Best Costume Design???

Worst. Recap. Ever.

For Jennifer Hudson, one word: Salad.
Okay fine, two words: Titty Fuck.

Someone should do a photoshop morph of Kidman's eyes (with the evil eyebrows) and Cameron's Joker mouth. That would be one mean looking bitch!

Boring, boring, boring dresses!!!!!
I think that the best dresses woman of the night is a 60 years old actress: helen MIrren!!! I never tough that i ll say that!!!!!

marc anthony must be an award winning fuck because he is really busted in the face. or maybe he's the only person on the planet who can put up with that taco diva.

Ellen DeGeneres was definitely the best dressed man last night, aside from Alan Arkin & Kate Winslet.

eww JLo has a huge zit on her forehead and you can see all the red bumps and irritation at her armpit where stupid-ass celebs like her injects large amounts of botox so they won't sweat.

Cameron looks high and clown-faced as usual.
Nicole can't move her face or her skin will come off. and I just want to grab gwenyth by her hair and throw her back across the pond.

reese and penelope look awesome though

Giant Galactic Congatulations to Jennifer Hudson!

She blew that boring slice of talentless cardboard, Beyonce off the stage.

I secretly hope that Cameron Diaz & Jessica Biel beat the crap out of each other at an after-party. They're both equally annoying & mannish. I am not sure when or why D-List celebrities were given permission present at the awards but such is the state of Hollywood these days.

Diaz's ass looks fantastic. Something thick and 8 inches should be in that now!

Hold on. Some women wore dresses somewhere? Really! Oh please, do go on!!

Ok i found my jerk of material today, Cameron Diazes ass, dude that thing is mind blowing

I think Reese is the best dressed of them

What is the big deal with big ol' Missy Elliot lookin Jennifer Hudson? She looked like a big turd wrapped in aluminum foil.

The sight of Gwenyth the Fishstick causes me to have violent outbursts......like a filth-ridden Tourettes outburst gets together with a homocidal steroidal rage......

JPo had that big old jaw/chin shaved and bought some cheekbones along with her Churchlady wig, and nice job hiding the trunk treasure.

And why does JLo look like she's a 55 year old housekeeper?

#25 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Remember a few years ago before anybody had ever heard of her, and JLo showed up at the Oscars in that green dress with the neckline that came below her navel? Just look at her now: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" Um, yes. But at least you don't have a giant bow on your shoulder. Or your chest. Or your ass.

Gwyneth Paltrow has some serious hair static problems going on..

==:-o

1. I think that it's truly inspring that you can look like a grotesque pasty skinned troll and still marry a babe.

2. Why is it that Marc Anthony is always trying to hump some body part of Jennifer Lopez.

3. I always had the hots for Nicole Kidman. But her face is so full of botox that it looks like it's been embalmed. There's really nothing wrong with being a babe with some wrinkles on your forehead.

4. This is the Oscars dammit!!!! Where are the idiot looking "designer" gowns, the see-through tops, the nameless bimbo starlets with their Big Gigantic Silicon sacked ta-tas hanging out?

Where's Brittney when you need her?

Dang so does Nicole Kidman.. AHH Bride of Frankenstein!

These people can spend thousands of dollars on expensive dresses, jewelry, and whatnot, and they can't buy themselves a decent hairspray that doesn't make their hair stand straight up?

If my housekeeper looked like JHo, I'd be dirtying shit all the fucking time. I'd walk around with a bag of potting soil and a spray bottle. And I'd throw lots of shit under the couch. To protect myself against her emaciated husband, I'd just throw a syringe, spoon, rubber tubing, and bag of smack in the opposite direction. Or I'd point a huge fan in his direction and wax the floors. As you can see, I've thought of everything.

That jacket thing on Jennifer Hudson looks like she outgrew it about 10 sizes ago. Not the look for a chubby. Thank God she won the Best Supporting Actress.....now her career is over and we can be done with her.

Nicole Kidman has always reminded me of the rodent family...a white rat with pink eyes..does everybody else see it?

This is the first time Jennifer Hudson's worn jewelry that didn't come out of a candy machine. Good thing too, she might have eaten it.

And you KNOW Ellen DeGeneres was getting piiiiissssed that Melissa Ethridge was cutting in on her Alpha Dyke role of the night.

I hear Nicole Kidman is prepping for the role of a lifetime as Bill Laimbeer in the story of the Detrot Pistons. Thankfully they won't need to use any outlandish makeup or props for the "face mask" years he went through towards the end of his career.

Reese Witherspoon...no one else matters. She's had 76 kids and still manages to look gorgeous. Cameron Diaz is childless and looks like Mike Piazza's catcher's mitt.

I wonder how may times Ryan Phillippe has cum on the panties he stole from her drawer?
Nice job loser, next time you're saddled with perfection, sit there quietly with your hands folded.

As for the others, Jennifer Hudson looks like she ate the other Dreamgirls. I guess her next gig will be signing up with Jenny craig, doing speed and appearing on Oprah looking svelte from the neck up.

Kirsten Dunst should disguise her see through meth teeth a little better.

I'm pretty sure my neighbor's house fell into Cameron Diaz's mouth last week.

J'Lo is going for the Lena Horne look. Too bad it's the 90 year old version of Lena Horne.

I can practically hear the bone cracking from these skeletons. It must have sounded like the red carpet was made of bubble wrap as these anorexics, bolemics and orange juice and cotton ball addicts clacked into the building.

Once again, Reese Witherspoon, no one else matters.

Only on this site would last nights academy awards show where Martin Scorcese finally won an award for his deserved work behind the cameras for The Departed be imortalized by Beyonce and fucking J-LO.

Wasn't Paris Hilton anywhere near this? What fucking slackers you folks are.

#3 looks like J-Lo could be pregnant too. I'm sure the baby will be as healthy and cute as the hybrid from Alien Resurrection.

Jennifer Lopez)Looks like she's dressed like a greek goddess.I didn't know she loves the 'Greek' culture so much.
Beyonce Knowles)Looks fabulous as always.Nice curvy,i always asked myself how it will be to have her massive thighs around my waist.I'm telling you she'll be able to squeeze any man-juice outta the guy with her thighs.Hummm,i'm wondering why she isn't pregnant yet...
Reese whiterspoon)Good choice of dress.
Zhang Ziyi)She must have thought she's gonna attend a Latin party or something.
Kate winslet)Good choice of dress.
Cate Blanchett)She must have been inspired by the Scandinavion mythology,being dressed here in this chainmail like the goddess Freia.

Must...refrain...from...using...Witherspoon photos...for...devious...purposes!

J-lo looks great from the boobs up but the rest of that dress needs some form because it looks like she's trying to hide something under it.

Cameron Diaz looks like she should be on the top of a wedding cake. This is the "What I would have worn if Justin hadn't dumped my leathery hide"-look.

Beyonce KNowles appears to have just arrived from the "miss gardenia" festival or perhaps she's auditioning for the part of mother nature in the next 'I can't believe it's not butter' commercial?

Reese Witherspoon looks great. No question.

Anne Hathaway looks like she wandered out of a "my fair lady" revival looking for food. Someone throw her a biscuit will ya?

Jennifer Hudson looked like she dressed for this moment in the 80's.

To create Penelope's dress an entire flock of flamingo's gave their lives. I love the bodice but the feathers are too much.

Nicole Kidman was represented by this life sized wax replica. [love the almost identical lady behind her too.]

Zhang Ziyi appears to be wearing a series of worn yellowed slips that she pulled from her grandmother's hope chest.

Kate Winslet is perfect.

Is naomi watts wearing wrinkled bedroom curtains? And is that a pillow underneath?

Cate Blanchett looks cold.

I think Nicole Kidman should play the Brain if they ever decide to make a Pinky and the Brain movie.

#54)Now i'm getting real curious,who's gonna play Pinky?

#55 hold on let me take another look at him brb

They're all dumb enough to play Pinky.

And someone please tell me that what I saw introduced as Clive Owen was really not Clive Owen? His suit was so tight that his body looked teeny tiny and his head looked ginormous.....that was just a joke, right?

ok I take that back..I think Nicloe Kidman should be the raw looking tall redeyed Pinky. The raw looking manly shaped singer Pink should be Brain... and Jennifer Hudson will play their turd.

Kate Winslet is a man, baby!

Did Jodie Foster graduate from the Clooney School of Confused Sexuality? She was looking very macho yesterday.

Nicole Kidman is stuck in her role from The Stepford Wives. Dammit woman, BLINK!

last week i had a really hard time peeling back the tinfoil on a Hungry Man meatloaf dinner, and when i gave up it looked almost exactly like Jennifer Hudson's pictures.

Penelope Cruz might have killed many teddy bears to make that dress. Probably dancing flamenco

Jennifer hudson for Hungryman tinfoil Meatlof spokesman!

i hate reese witherspoons big pointy chin.

penelope cruz is gorgeous but has a silly dress.

nicole kidman needs an eyebrow reshaping so she doesn't look permanently pissed off.

who the fuck is that asian girl?

and i hate kate winslet's mouth.

the end!

Jennifer Hudson is one of those beautiful chubby girls. Her skin is flawless and I wish I had her lips.

Jennifer Hudson does look like a frozen Salisbury Steak dinner

I agree with #48. Reese Witherspoon looks awesome. And if her career falters, you can always turn her over, hold her feet, and plow the earth using her chin. That'd be a very Earth-friendly way to work the land; Al Gore would approve. When it's time to sow the seeds, you just have to do the same thing with Penelope Cruz, this time using her nose - it'd make a perfect furrow in the soil. Throw in Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow (scarecrows), along with Jennifer Hudson (to manure the fields) and you've got a working farm. Who said Hollywood people are useless?

#67 - Don't get me wrong, she could do a Antonella Barba on me, but I'd show my appreciation by presenting her with Jenny Craig gift vouchers. That and by the looks of her, she always swallows. That adds at least a few pretty points.

Cameron Diaz looks like a poo

@50 That man looks more like the living dead than an alien. Zombies can't reproduce, can they?

Cameron Diaz's face looks like a victim of meat tenderizing blows

I think the winner is that lady with the white sunglasses and orange shirt in the crowd in Cameron Diaz' 4th pic

@70 Right you are Ken.

Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman look best, way to go Australia.

And if you're wondering where the 3rd Dream Girl is, look no further than Jennifer Hudson's stomach

lol

i think reese looks adorable. apparently she's the only one who knows how to dress herself.

Now I'm not normally all that in to Beyonce, but when she was performing, she looked so damn fine! And at that moment I started realizing why all those people keep saying how hot she is.

And speaking of that performance, I was truly shocked that I never got a nipple shot from Hudson. I dunno how things massive things managed to remain in that dress!!!

Jennifer Hudson comes off as one of those supposedly "BBW" who believe their bodies are Gods gift to men. I believe I know where cheese is churrned, just spread apart those massive boulders of meat she has on her chest. I think I've given up meatloaf hungrymen meals forever.

Hudson deserved her Oscar, she gave a whale of a performance.

Rich, I struggled to stay with you through your lust for Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez, but Jennifer Hudson??? Dooooooooode! I guess you really love smoking your fatties...

Fuckin hell, all these tacky bitches and not even ONE nip slip??? No wardrobe malfunctions(other than the obvious shitty clothing choices)?? God damn it, what am I even here for??!! Thanks a fucking LOT Superfish **STOMPS OFF** :D

Hey Rich, I am sure you know that I certainly would never use the word "dooooooooooode" so Wally wants to know why you're into fatties, both smoked & porked.

For Cameron Diaz - It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the sun again!

Oh yeah, and JLo, Beyonce, Cameron & Anne all look like discount shop brides.

I began to undo RichPort's jeans. But when I dropped my hands
down in his boxers and grabbed him, I fumbled around for
a couple of seconds, and when I finally got a hold
around his shaft I pulled my hand out with a gasp.

"What was that?" I asked RichPort.

"What was what?" He asked.

"Wait," I said, and pushed him back. I reached back
and turned on the sink lights. While still only wearing
my panties I tenderly opened his pants up again and
pushed them down.

"Oh my god," I said when I had pushed them down far
enough.

"What?" RichPort asked, now self-conscious and a little red in
the face. "What's wrong?"

"Uh... nothing's wrong. It's just... ummm... I've never
seen one that big before. Wow."

With a nervous smile on my face I grabbed it with both
hands. Running my fingers around its width I just
stared at it and explored its length.

I started to gently stroke it, with both hands. My
eyes never unlocked from his cock, and it wasn't just a
matter of giving RichPort a hand job; I was in awe as I
handled it.

#87 - Is that like a Mad Libs for porn? I remember that exact scene, except it wasn't Biatcho, it was your mom. Stop trying to fuck up the thread idiot.

I feel a teensy bit sorry for the troll that jacks off to the online barely-pornographic stories it makes up. It has to suck when that is your only form of sexual activity. Are you one of those boys who also whacks off to animated cartoon, video game & comic book characters with big boobies?

I cant believe how horrible Nicole Kidman is looking. Fine, she hasnt looked nice the past 5 years, but she could at least try to find something flattering to wear so I wont have to stare at her freakish face. Blanchett, Watts, Witherspoon, looking lovely.

Rich, I wasn't trying to fuck you up. And don't be so hard on yourself - you're annoyingly self-important, but you're not the "thread idiot".

J-Lo & Esqueleto are my favorite Boriqunas!

zhang ziyi is using her hair to cover up her lack of cleavage, there's probably just a giant gaping hole if you lift up that hair

she's not a cupcake, she's a donut

Hey Britney, this is what you look and act like when you are going through a divorce with 2 small children!

Reese looks fab~Hey Britney, this is what you look and act like when you are going through a divorce with 2 small children!

Typekey is a bitch today:(

Typekey is a bitch today:(

#88 - RichPort, after all your "my big johnson" comments you get insulted by a big johnson porno story??? I'm confused. I must have fallen asleep during diversity training when they explained how this type of thinking works.

Rich: #98 is not me. Disregard.

I can prove it - as my kids can tell you, at 11:38 AM the dog was cumming in my mouth.

What the fuck was Anne Hathaway thinking??

How many tutus did Zhang Ziyi manage to steal on her way there? 4 by the looks of it.

Whoever said it was right, out of those pictures, Reese is the only one with a perfect, classy dress. And Cate Blanchetts is decent too. All the rest look like prom dresses or thrift store purchases. Hers fits perfectly, flows perfectly, and is a decent color with no goofy shit hanging off of it. Now, lets look at Anne Hathaway. What is that, the bat-signal on the front? Who told J-Lo that chain mail was in this year? Naomi watts looked like a #2 pencil. Camron Diaz looked like a mobster wrapped her up in some drapes before the show and she struggled halfway out. Jennifer Hudson looked like a Snausage. Nicole Kidman looked like some kind of alien. Zhang Ziyi seems to have worn Big Birds costume inside out. The bottom of Penelope Cruzs dress seems to be made of shredded pink toilet paper. Gwyneth Paltrow looked like a vampire bride from circa 1982. Kate Winslet just looded lumpy.

'looked' lumpy.

What's UP with the TypeKey? I posted like half an hour ago, and it never came up...?

J Lo's hiding a skeletorbaby bump under that tent.

Cameron - 1986 called. They want their dress back.

Beyonce needs a steele girdle welded over her fat ass.

Anne's apparently on her way to Ascot with Professor Henry Higgins.

Hudson and Cruz are just...boring.

Nicole's botoxed face hasn't held an actual expression since Dead Calm. Is she even alive anymore? That dress is horrid, even for a cadaver.

WTF was Zhang going for here? "Layered mumu?"

Reese, Gwenyth, Kate, Naomi, and Cate all look FABULOUS

what the hell did you do to nicole kidman? she has a look in her eyes like she wants to kill whomever took that photo. she's a sweet little lamb isn't she?

LOVE Cate Blanchett's earrings! The dress is awesome too; she's got the whole sci-fi thing going for her, and it fits her well.

Naomi is totally preggers! And very cute.

Damn Skeletor looks like he died a couple weeks before Anna Nicole.

Penelope Cruz looks like she was wearing my grandma's bedspread.

That bow on the back of Nicole Kidman looked like a key. Could you wind her up and watch her march up the red carpet?

Jennifer Hudson's dress was ok, once she took the stupid jacket off. Maybe the stylist saw it on a monitor and realized how ridiculous it looked.

Reese Witherspoon is walking proof that revenge is sweeeeeet! Take that, Ryan!

Oh J. Lo, you silly twit. She's like a trashy and unsexy wannabe Elizabeth Taylor.

Cate Blanchett looks amazing. h8rz.

Justin and Ryan, eat your heart out!

Both Cameron Diaz and Reese Witherspoon look amazing.

#69 - Holy fucking shit that was funny! I haven't laughed that spontaneously since I first saw "Jackass". Well done!

okay, j-lo is obviously pregnant. Beyonce continues to look like jayz in drag. Jennifer Hudson needs to fire her stylist. well that's all i have to say for now.

Reese Witherspoon - her light-bulb head is too distracting, I can't even focus on the dress. And with Jay-Lo and her hubby - the less said the better. The look on their faces tells it all.

zing zang looks like a lacy pineapple

whats with these dresses...they aren't very sexy. beyonce looks kinda stiff, but you know that girl gets down dirty.

Beyonce is so fat, she looks like a texan cow, it's disgusting... and fat people shouldn't wear white tight dresses... eeewww...

Beyonce always looks perfect, in fact it's getting boring.. Reese looked cute.. Zhang Zang (or whatever her name is) always looks adorable but she should've worn her hair different.. Penelope Cruz--what's up with the dress?.. Jennifer Hudson was FORCED to wear that disgusting outfit by her stylist (true story..I hate to say this but check perezhilton).. What's up with no one picking out a good dress anymore? Did all the good designers die or are they all hiding or something? Or are all the celebs retarded when it comes to Oscar dresses?

Oh, and Marc Anthony picked out that dress for J.Lo which explains it's hideous-ness. And I must say those are bad pics of Reese...I saw better ones on the official Oscar website.

acually, Penelope Cruz was on the best dress list, along with Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Resse Witherspoon, Jennifer Lopes, Cameron Diaz, Beyonce and also Nicole Kidman. So i guess someone has a bad fashion sence.

ah, J. Lo is sporting a "baby bump" too, no??

j-ho can wear any classy dress she wants she will still be trash underneith. pretty cloths don't buy class honey!

j-ho you can TRY and channel and act like liz talyor and jackie o all you want but you WILL NEVER BE THEM! THEY HAVE MORE CLASS IN THIER LITTLE PINKY TOE THAN YOU WILL EVER HAVE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TIME

Beyonce and j-ho you can wear all the fancy cloths you want but you can't make them classy

I've said it elsewhere: Cameron needs to stop showing up at events looking like she just got banged in the men's room.

very subpar oscars this year