Feb 23 2007Mischa Barton smokes some marijuana
If you've ever wondered why Mischa Barton insists on staying with guys like this apparently it's because she's high all the time. I can't say for sure what's in that joint she's smoking, but judging by her taste in men I wouldn't be surprised if it was insecticide.
A few more of Mischa Barton with another winner after the jump.
Feb 23 2007Jack Black amuses me
Love him or hate him, you gotta admit it's refreshing to see somebody like Jack Black who embraces their fame and doesn't go ape shit whenever somebody takes their picture.
More of Jack Black being Jack Black after the jump, as well as some of Kyle Gass looking smoking hot. And I mean so hot even a raging erection wouldn't do him justice.
Feb 23 2007Patricia Heaton braless see-through
There are a few ways to make for a really hot see-through photo. Being 48-years-old isn't one of them. Patricia Heaton showed up to the opening night of the Los Angeles production of Wicked without her bra on in a see-through top. To be fair, the top wasn't see-through until the flashes started going off, but shouldn't she know better by now? She's got like all those years of wisdom. And dentures. And whatever else it is old people like to brag about having. Uncontrollable bowel movements?
Feb 23 2007Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie collect another one
Us Weekly reports Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are planning to adopt a Vietnamese boy, and have already filed the adoption papers. The two visited the Tam Binh orphanage in November and Angelina returned alone last month. A source says:
"Angelina and Brad have filed papers with the US Citizenship and Immigration services to adopt a boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City."
Pretty soon they'll have collected enough to finally challenge Ash Ketchum to a Pokemon battle to the death. They can even store them in the little Pokemon spheres, and when they open one up to attack, Zahara or Maddox or whoever will roll out onto the floor, most like suffocated, crushed, or starved to death. And then Pikachu will electrocute them and the whole gang will laugh and laugh because Pokemon is fun times.
Feb 23 2007VIDEO: Britney Spears attacks the paparazzi with umbrella
Here's the video first posted on X17online of Britney Spears flipping out yesterday and attacking a paparazzi's SUV with an umbrella. She also allegedly hit a paparazzi on the back, but the video quality is so poor you could make up whatever story you wanted. You could film the inside of your closet for a minute and a half and you might end up with more shocking video.
Feb 23 2007Daniel Radcliffe shows off his wang
Remember those promo shots for Equus and that shot of Daniel Radcliffe's bare ass? If you thought to yourself, "Hey, I really wish I was on the other side of that photo" then you're in luck. I'd never thought I'd ever be saying this, but here's a super NSFW full frontal shot of Harry Potter's penis. And if you're wondering what's up with all the horse erotica lately, it's because I've slowly been turning this site into a home for animal sex perverts. What, you couldn't tell? Then you must be one of them.
Thanks to everybody that sent this in. And when I say 'thanks' I mean it in the loosest least thankful way possible.
Feb 22 2007Anna Nicole Smith's body finally settled
Judge Larry Seidlin started crying as he issued his decision in court about the dispute over Anna Nicole Smith's body. The judge urged that Anna Nicole be buried next to her son Daniel in the Bahamas, although he left the ultimate burial location to be decided by attorney Richard Milstein, who is also the court-appointed guardian of Anna Nicole's 5-month-old daughter Dannielynn.
How did this guy become a judge? He's completely unprofessional and I'm not entirely certain he's literate. At least he was smart enough not to give the body to Howard K. Stern. Otherwise instead of getting buried, her corpse would've ended up on Stern's front lawn with a sign around her neck that said "Pictures: $5."
Feb 22 2007Britney Spears beats up helpless cars
Britney Spears went to Kevin Federline's home last night but when she wasn't allowed to see her kids she started raging on a white SUV with an umbrella. She was reportedly waiting outside Kevin's place for 45 minutes before her mom eventually picked her up and took her back to the rehab facility.
Look at her go! I thought she was just having fun when she shaved her head but she really is losing her mind. She looks like an escaped mental patient. A week from now we're gonna read about the Promises treatment facility shutting down because she killed all the employees and started eating their faces.
UPDATE: Check out more pictures and a video here.
UPDATE 2: The incident occurred after she left K-Fed's place, and apparently the SUV belonged to the paparazzi who followed her to a gas station.
Feb 22 2007Lindsay Lohan snubs Robert Altman's funeral
After Robert Altman died last November, Lindsay Lohan released a statement saying he "was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years." So how did she honor his memory? By skipping his memorial service Tuesday and instead going out to party in Los Angeles with Steve O.
And just curious, but what exactly happened to her in rehab? It's like they tried to kick her addiction to drugs and alcohol by getting her addicted to sausage. If you have to butter you thighs to slide into a pair of jeans they probably don't fit anymore.
Feb 22 2007Britney Spears back in rehab again...again
After one day in rehab and then one day out of rehab, Britney Spears is apparently now back in rehab. A lawyer for Kevin Federline confirmed that Britney checked back into the Promises treatment facility and that the emergency custody hearing over the couple's two sons has been canceled. They add that this is Britney's last chance, and if she leaves rehab before getting the full 30 to 45 days of treatment Federline will immediately go to court and seek full custody of the children. Apparently Federline has had the kids since last Thursday, and when Spears showed up to his house to see the children last night he wouldn't let her in.
There's no way Britney Spears is gonna last 30 days in rehab. She's already tried this twice and couldn't even go 24 hours. I've got a better chance of overthrowing China with my bare hands and some kitchen utensils.
More of Britney Spears running around in her car yesterday after the jump.
Continue Reading "Britney Spears back in rehab again...again"
Feb 22 2007Jordan shows off pregnant boobs in bikini
I'm not entirely sure who Jordan is, but sometimes she flashes her boobs and I think people in the UK think she's famous. Anyways, she was spotted on a beach in Dubai recently in a polka dot bikini showing off her baby bump and massively pregnant breasts. I don't even know if you call them breasts anymore when they get that big. Is there another word I should be using? I think the medical definition is 'holy frijoles' and an exclamation mark appearing over the head.
A few more of Jordan in her bikini after the jump.
Continue Reading "Jordan shows off pregnant boobs in bikini"
Feb 22 2007Kevin Federline fighting for custody
Kevin Federline asked a judge for an emergency hearing yesterday and is scheduled to appear in court today with his attorney to discuss his custody dispute with Britney Spears. A temporary court order previously granted joint custody, but K-Fed seems determined to take advantage of Britney Spears' recent behavior and get total custody of their children. And it might actually work too. The only way he could screw this up is if he showed up to court with a blender and a recipe for Baby Soup.
Some more pics of Britney Spears in a hat and wig mysteriously meeting with criminal defense lawyer Blair Berk yesterday after the jump.
Feb 21 2007Christina Aguilera isn't pregnant
A rep for Christina Aguilera tells Us magazine she isn't pregnant despite a report in the New York Daily News claiming she was. An employee at the Beverly Hills kids boutique Bellini said that Aguilera and her husband went on a $3,000 shopping spree over the weekend and that Aguilera told her she was having a baby. The worker said:
"They seemed really excited. She was talking to [another customer] and she said she took a home pregnancy test and that it was positive. She kept saying they'd have to come back when they knew the sex of the baby."
However, Christina's rep says the woman is insane, because Christina was 50,000 feet in the air at the supposed time of sighting.
"It's all made up. She was not at Bellini. She was on a plane to Las Vegas for the NBA appearance."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Christina Aguilera isn't going to be having kids any time soon. I mean look at her husband. He's a damn Mr. Potato Head. I'm pretty sure it's biologically impossible for him to even carry sperm.
A ton more of Christina Aguilera looking like a wax figure with huge bozoongas after the jump.
Feb 21 2007Britney Spears' nanny spills the beans
Us magazine has an interview with Britney Spears' (former?) nanny and the source says that when Britney is alone with her kids, "she gets overwhelmed. She gets so frustrated when they cry, asking, 'How do I make it stop?' But she loves her kids." And if you've ever wanted to be Britney's nanny here are some of the job requirements.
Personal Over Professional
"Britney didn't ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life."
Friend Wanted
"The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend."
Comfort With Nudity A Plus
"Britney asked me and one of her nannies to come to her room to watch her try on outfits for a party one night - then she stripped down naked in front of us!"
Must Be Hands-On
"One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, 'I'm done now. You can take them.'"
Don't Be Too Good
"She doesn't like when Sean prefers the nanny, so she fires them and looks for a new one."
Man, that's good parenting. There's no doubt her kids' first words are gonna be "ma ma." Only it'll be directed towards a fire hydrant. Or a toaster. Or any other object or person that isn't actually their mother.
Feb 21 2007Britney Spears leaves rehab again
Recreating her hijinks from last week, Britney Spears left rehab again less than 24 hours after checking in. She checked into the Promises treatment center yesterday but couldn't deal with it and left for home. The usual stay is 45 days but she managed a whopping 1. Not even 1. She's making Lindsay Lohan look like Captain America here. The next time she checks into rehab it's gonna be a blow up doll with "Britney Spears" written on the back while she's lying in bed half asleep with a bottle of tequila in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
Feb 21 2007Tyra Banks recreates Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover, loves herself
Can you tell which of the above is the original and which is the redo? Bet you can't!
Tyra Banks was the first African American to ever be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue so to celebrate Black History month she decided to re-do the famous shoot. And by "celebrate Black History month" I mean "celebrate herself." Five years ago I was in love with this woman, and now all I want to do is punch her in the throat. That's an awful lot of Photoshop for someone who supposedly embraces their body and preaches that appearance doesn't matter. Christ, it's like somebody drew her on using the original cover as a reference. The only way it could look any more processed is if they replaced her with a picture of Garfield.
Some videos of Tyra Banks talking about how great she is and preparing for the photo shoot after the jump.
Continue Reading "Tyra Banks recreates Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover, loves herself"
Feb 21 2007Britney Spears shaved her hair to avoid drug testing
Britney Spears allegedly shaved her head because Kevin Federline was threatening to test her hair for drugs. K-Fed was at Britney's Malibu mansion last Friday when she got back from rehab and the two got into a huge fight. A source says:
"They had a huge argument. Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved."
And after shaving her hair Friday she went to the Mondrian Hotel in an electric blue wig where sources say they saw her shaving her legs at the pool and crying after she was refused a room.
"She didn't have any credit cards, she didn't have any cash... I don't even believe she had any I.D.," dished US Weekly's Katrina Szish. "She was depressed and confused. The general consensus is we're seeing Britney have a breakdown before our very eyes."
Jesus, it's a good thing K-Fed didn't threaten to test Britney's urine. Otherwise instead of checking into rehab we'd be reading about how she died in a mysterious bladder accident after deciding "she didn't need to pee anymore. Ever."
A bunch of more of Britney Spears at the Promises treatment facility looking like a white supremacist after the jump.
Continue Reading "Britney Spears shaved her hair to avoid drug testing"
Feb 20 2007Britney Spears back in rehab
Britney Spears is giving rehab another chance and checked into an in-patient facility in Los Angeles today after being pressured by her mom and family. Last week she checked herself into a rehab facility in Antigua but checked out less than 24 hours later. A rep for Britney says:
"Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time."
Last time she was only in rehab for one day before freaking out and shaving her head bald so I wanna see what she does this time. Maybe she'll stay for a week and when she finally gets out she'll run up and down the street with her arms spread out yelling "I'm an airplane!" and making engine noises. Oh, and don't even ask about her kids. They've obviously been dead for quite some time now.
Feb 20 2007Paris Hilton has no friends, throws weird parties
Paris Hilton didn't invite her best friend Kim Kardashian to her 26th birthday party in Las Vegas because she was afraid Kim's sex tape would distract from her. A source says: "She didn't want Kim on the red carpet stealing her thunder." Unfortunately, even the people who were invited didn't show up as she got stood up by A-list celebrities and even her friends. Sources say there were no names there except her sister, and at one point Paris announced on a microphone that Nicole Richie was "on her way" but Richie never showed up.
But even without many boldfaces, things at the after-party at the Penthouse Suite got a little odd. After downing TY KU liquor and bottles of Dom Perignon, guests reported seeing Hilton play with a monkey while a band of midgets led a pack of goats around the room.
No wonder nobody showed up. They were all afraid they'd be entering Paris Hilton's cartoon fantasy fun house and never find their way out. It's like all her ideas of a good time were gotten in some back alley in Tijuana.
More of Paris Hilton thinking she's the shit at her birthday party after the jump.
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton has no friends, throws weird parties"
Feb 20 2007Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan fight, Gisele eats
Friends of Tom Brady are saying Bridget Moynahan didn't even bother to tell him she was announcing her pregnancy on The Post and suspect she got pregnant on purpose. A friend of Brady says:
"[Bridget] may have gotten pregnant on purpose. She is 36, wanted a baby, and Tom was dumping her. It's a little suspicious."
A friend of Moynahan shoots back:
"Please. They dated for three years and they broke up in December - right around the time he found out she was pregnant and he immediately started dating Gisele Bundchen. Who's the gross one here?"
And since nobody cares about Tom Brady or Bridget Moynahan here's the most interesting part of the article: Gisele Bundchen is set to walk in the Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan next week and had to gain 14 pounds to weigh enough to be able to walk in the show. 14 pounds! That's like eating a large baby. I know they want to set some health standards, but it's still a runway show, not the Fat Olympics.
Feb 20 2007Lindsay Lohan leaves rehab, looks super refreshed
Lindsay Lohan left rehab last Friday after a 30-day stay at Los Angeles' Wonderland Center and to celebrate she spent the weekend clubbing. On the Friday she got out she was out until 4am at Winston's and then on Saturday she was out partying at Teddy's. And from the looks of it rehab really worked wonders for her. I haven't seen such a fresh looking face since that 80-year-old chain smoker I found lying half-asleep in the gutter.
Feb 20 2007Anna Nicole Smith wears clown paint, is insane
This video clip aired yesterday night on Greta Van Susteren's show on FOX News and shows an eight-month pregnant Anna Nicole Smith with clown paint on her face, barely functional, and talking to a doll in a baby carriage as if it were real. At one point Howard K. Stern even comments: "This footage is worth money." And yeah, it's every bit as creepy as you'd imagine. I was expecting scary carnival music to start playing in the background or Howard K. Stern to appear in a ski mask at the end and ask for a ransom.
Feb 19 2007Paris Hilton looks like hell
Paris Hilton lost her mirror in Vegas over the weekend and showed up on the red carpet for her 26th birthday party at The Hard Rock's Body English sporting weird blotches on her chest and a super messed up nose. I mean, Jesus, what is that? She looks like she powdered her nose with fingerpaints. And are those burn marks on her chest? It's like right before she showed up she decided to box a kangaroo using only her collarbone.
A bunch more of Paris Hilton looking like her body is falling apart after the jump.
Feb 19 2007Tara Reid looks decent in her bikini
Did you ever think the day would come that Tara Reid would look better than Britney Spears? If you answered yes then you're a damn liar. The last time we saw her in a bikini her stomach looked like this. If you thought that was hot then God help you. But she was spotted over the weekend at the Bacara Resort and Spa in Santa Barbara looking relatively good. She seems to have gotten some work done on her belly, since it actually looks like a stomach now and not a pile of mashed potatoes. All she needs now is a real human brain and she'll almost be fit for society!
A bunch more of Tara Reid in her bikini after the jump.
Feb 19 2007Tom Brady knocks up Bridget Moynahan
Bridget Moynahan is three months pregnant with Tom Brady's baby, even though they're not together anymore and he's currently with Gisele Bundchen. Moynahan and Brady were going out for two years before breaking up in December, and lately Brady has been spotted with Gisele, coming and going from her SoHo apartment. Which is bad news, because apparently his super sperm gets women pregnant he's not even seeing anymore. God knows how pregnant Gisele is. She's probably sitting in bed right now with sperm shooting out of her nostrils. And yeah, maybe I crossed the line with that last sentence, but maybe I didn't. The only thing we know for sure is I could beat up a tiger with my bare hands. And that's a fact.
Feb 19 2007Britney Spears and her blond wig
I take back my last post because I'm looking at these pictures of Britney Spears and I barely recognize her. She was spotted at the Roxy nightclub on Hollywood's Sunset Strip for a karaoke-themed birthday party wearing a Marilyn Monroe-style wig and large black sunglasses, and reportedly stormed out of the club after 45 minutes when the DJ played Hit Me Baby One More Time in her honor. A source adds:
"It was a shock to see her in a wig after what she had done to herself. While she was in the club she kept going to bathroom all the time, which was weird."
That's like the worst wig I've ever seen. Either she forgot to get it fitted, or she isn't even trying to play it off as real hair. She could be wearing a large trout on her head and it'd look more natural.
Feb 19 2007Britney Spears has shaver's remorse
Looks like Britney Spears is already regretting her decision to shave her head. She was seen lounging poolside at the Mondrian hotel in West Hollywood wearing a green hat and a short blond wig less than 24 hours after shaving her head bald. A columnist for E! says:
"She was definitely having fun with her friends. The Mondrian is the kind of place you wouldn't go if you didn't want to be seen, especially during Oscar week. She wasn't exactly hiding. It was a beautiful Los Angeles day. Lots of people were around."
An employee at the hotel added:
"She was here, she was wearing a wig and nobody recognized her."
She was wearing a blond wig and nobody recognized her? It doesn't take a master spy to crack her disguise. It's not like she was wearing a fat suit, stilts, and a fake moustache. If anything the wig shoudl've made her easier to recognize.
