January 15, 2007

Steven Tyler is the missing link

I've never understood how Liv Tyler came from Steven Tyler, but now looking at these pictures of him on the beach I can't even understand how he manages to stand upright. Or speak. Or is able to grasp the concept of the wheel. He looks like he should be clubbing a pterodactyl to death in these pictures. At first it'd be like, "Hey, I didn't know they had cameras during the Cretaceous period." But then you'd shrug it off, because how else would they have gotten a shot of a homo erectus in his natural habitat.

A ton more of Steven Tyler showing off his negative ass and looking all around disgusting after the jump.

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Comments

jrz's hubby is looking hot!

mine eyes, the pictures, they burn...

I'm gonna hurl

These pictures were bad enough until I got to the ones where he pulled his trunks down.. wtf is his problem?

He's kick ass with his clothes on, but honestly men his age, with bodies like that shouldnt run around in what appears to be a skirt on the beach. He prolly wouldnt look THAT bad in a regular pair of swim trunks, but sheesh. Crack kills people... Show these pics to Lilo - thats what she'll look like in 3 years


P.S - Thats what years of drugs and hookers does to ya! Still love his music

Dear God.

Is it human? And did we really need those ass shots?

This debonerfied me since I watched the new Keeley sex tape. I think the fish is way behind since there still isn't a story on it.

Also, in the last pic, I wonder how he got a little girl's bracelet stuck in his hair?

Finally some hot manflesh for you girls!

#4 - I think, by the looks of things, his "shorts" were pulled down by the water, clothes that dont fit will come off easily, or show things the world doesnt need to see, ask britney, she knows

that dude has been balls-deep into so many thousands of women......he's my hero.

Grandpa?

Considering he's almost 60, he is actually still in excellent shape! (How many guys sport a beerbelly at 30 already?!) And in some really warped, weird way I even reckon he has sex appeal. Different people, different tastes! ;)

I met Steven Tyler years ago back stage at an Aerosmith concert. I didn't get to barely say anything to him, but I got to say Hi and he said "Hi Hotstuff" That was it.
He isn't good looking up close at all, but he has a presence and he is very sexy. He sort of eyeballs you up and down really close. Lots of charm and charisma.

An old guy looking like an old guy - how gauche.

hes an old man, leave him alone

She is one lucky lady. And by lucky I mean crazy, blind or money-chasing.

He looks good for his age! He is toned and his skin is taut and smooth looking for someone nearing 60.

Ladies - never trust a guy who wears more jewelry than you do - especially at the beach.
(a lil' tip there)

Steven T is T-H-E man!
No if ands or buts about it.

Him and his music have gotten me through some tumultuous times.


PrettyBaby - Hi Hotstuff!!!

Tittie-,vag- and ass-flashing.What's next?

I can't post on here Punkin. Superfish man hates me. Sorry for making trouble Superfish, I will be nice to all. (For the most part)

Recently in Chicago, there was a UFO sighting above O'Hare airport. It looks like Steven found his way off the ship and managed to make his way to a warmer climate on the beach...

I didn't know aliens liked tropical weather, but apparently UFO's are FOR REAL.

The first alien-celebrity...I'm touched...

Random Fuck (#1): He is. You shoulda seen him when he stepped out of the shower this morning..... 6'2" 190 lbs of Italian perfection. Some of the water still on him, his muscles rippling, his jet black hair wet, those big chocolate brown eyes, that smile and as smooth as silk, Buon giorno, bella. Yep. My hubby is looking real good these days.

Think of that the next time you roll over in bed and see your fucking cat sneering back at you, you lonely frigid douche.

Topless pics of Carly Simon! Wait... what? oh. Nevermind.

I've never seen someone so skinny that spandex hangs off of them.
Imagine if he and Keith Richards had a baby?

hmm Jrzmommy - im jealous ok ? :)

ha de ha! more pictures of disgusting men on this site please. comments were brilliant also.

If he can't sing anymore, he can do Geico commercials.

Sure, his ass is a disaster, but he's brill in those Geico commercials.... So easy, even Stephen Tyler can do it.

Looks like an extra from planet of the apes.

#18- no butts about it??? Oh, Steven, I love you and your speedos.

i'm glad (and not surprised) that you enjoy the "big chocolate brown eye"

She loves chocolate,especially those from Belgium.True story.

Fuck, I was eating my breakfast when I looked @ this. Lol.

I'd still lick, suck & swallow that man.....if Perry wasn't around.

Oooooooo, jrzmommy - better be careful with this one. Curves left eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

No, on second thought, he just eats shit. CL, I don't know what your problem is, but I look forward to her batting your half-dead carcass around for a good hour or so before finally devouring you.

I bid you goodbye, Asshat.

See, it's not funny because it's not a direct quote. Now had I made a mistake and left the "s" off, then that would be funny irony--using my own words against me. But that's not the case so it doesn't work. What else you got?

he would have been perfect in PLanet of the Apes. No make up or costume needed.

all i know is he has Hep C and shouldn't be hooking up with anyone other than Pam Anderson, Kid Rock, or Tommy Lee.

John Merrick lookin' mother fucker.

Thanks for the final encouragement to learn to touch-type. I am now blind after seeing those pictures of Steve Tyler's rumpus and I instinctively grabbed a soldering gun and burned out both eye sockets. I feel fine now and I'll be in rehab to learn how to walk with a cane and I get to have a DOG!

crap

Steven's been famous for over forty years, a living legend and you choose photos of him on the beach with a much younger, hot babe as a source of humor.

The only one that's laughing is him...all the way to the bank!

He can laugh as hard as he wants, but he still looks like the Elephant Man.

He's no Jessica Alba, that's for sure.

ok, you win, hubby sounds gorgeous. he must daydream about being with somebody with more libido.

More libido? Nice try, blubber.

You're no fun to get into a pissing match with because you are dull and dimwitted. You're very boring. Matter fact, I'm drifting off replying to you. I feel like I'm in a Tae Kwon Do match against an armless, legless, blind and deaf nun. Know what I mean? I feel like I'm watching the Super Bowl when my team ain't in it.....ya know? Just 'cause it's........there.

LMFAO! Tyler looks like a featherless bird. Poor old fucker fell outta the nest. He still looks better than Jessica Alba, you pervert pedo.

my heart ain't in it. Maybe another time when you grow some funny bones or something. Or after intensive smart alec therapy. Or at least become incoherent. but now, bah.

This is what drugs, whores, and more drugs will do to ya.

Ugly.

OMFG... My eyes!!!!!!!!

I've seen Steven Tyler's ass... I think this traumatic experience will last forever...

Now I'll sleep in fetal position, shaking and crying, thank you so much.

He's 58 years old, pretty good shape for that old if ya ask me.

I thought this was Keith Richards for a second, then I noticed there were still some viable veins left in the calf and realized it was only nicole richie.

Steven is awesome - and, yes, he's getting older, but I think he looks damned good. I met him a couple years ago and he was so sweet - one of the nicest people I've ever met, celebrity or not.

What we should be talking about his his hideous tranny girlfriend. She's horrid!

If anyone on here looks half that good at going-on-60, then they can try looking down their nose. Good luck.

His legs are nicer than hers.

#55 you're comparing apples and oranges. you should question if another equally wealthy person will look good at 60. say, maybe chris martin of coldplay.

i'm never impressed with rich people "looking good". there is no excuse for them not too. they can afford the best doctors, chefs, personal shoppers, trainers, nutritionists...they can assemble a whole team dedicated to keeping them looking good.

of course we won't be looking "that good" (your words not mine) at 60 cause we are paupers working for the man.

I don't know when I've laughed so hard. The ass flash? Oh my god...the cat looked up in alarm at my guffaws.

ROTFLMFAO!!!

This is by far the funniest text you've written. I just couldn't stop laughing...well done. This enters the '07 Best of the Year nominee list. LOL!

my cock just crawled so far in me that i think it passed my spleen...

good god. he's seen better days. had i been alive in the 70's, i would have boned him.

I'd fuck him, ... while thinking about jrzmommy's imaginary man.

Paris died her hair again?

This man was my hero in 7th grade, back before he died, was preserved and then reanimated in a complicated satanic ritual reserved only for the most unholy (Keith Richards, Fidel Castro, Elizabeth Taylor, David Guest).

Aw, I think he's cute. He's nearly sixty years old. Considering his age and the...er....interesting life he's led, I think he's in a remarkable state of preservation.

It would be very weird being that woman (his wife?) though. She is not fat by any means, but outweighs him by about fifteen pounds, I'd say. Makes me glad my husband isn't the beanpole body type.

Cute?! Sexy?!

What the fuck is wrong with some of you? That's not being sympathetic! That's being plain retarded, like you are in some kind of ecstasy-induced stupor where everyone is your friend, even the handlebar mustached old guy in the club who is going to take you back to his shithole apartment.

So easy a caveman can do it....

Oh, look-- someone thinks he's the cute, three year old girl from the Coppertone ad. Isn't that precious?

Excuse me while I barf.

#12 - Reluctantly, I must concur. But he doesn't HAVE to put himself on display, does he? Surely he could be on a private beach away from camera lenses, yes?

Nips - you said it all right there.

#62 - it's been over 12 hours and you've received no response from the real Richport nor from jrz. So when are you going to give up the trolling and just post as yourself?
FTLTC.

AT LEAST ITS NOT THAT FAT FRENCH ONE, DEPARDEU. JEEEEEZZZZZZUS THAT WAS A BAD NUDIE BEACH PHOTO. gag.

I'd still hit that.

Somebody needs to tell him that Speedos are a privilege and not a right. Also I don't think he's pulling his shorts down, I think he's pulling them UP after they fell off. That's what happens when you have a negative ass.

Nah #26, he and Mick Jagger gave birth to Amanda Lepore already

Steven Tyler RULES!
Anyone that hasn't seen Aerosmith in concert is missing out!

First of all, I gotta say that for his age and the amount of abuse he's heaped upon himself over the years, he's not so terrible.

But I agree that he needs to cover it up a bit at this point. Just like no one wants to see my 47 year old ass in a string bikini (well maybe my husband, but love is blind), no one wants to see that old wrinkled posterior winking at them.

Get a pair of nice baggy trunks, Steven, like the young guys wear. Stop being so damned European.

What cracked me up - in the last two he looks like that old footage of the Bigfoot running away, lol. He always had that chimp thing going anyway, because of the rubber face.

All you negative Nellies!! Must be nic eto have perfect bodies in and out of bathing suits. What would you all look like in a spandex bathing suit? Besides it's the inside that counts in a person. And I am not saying that because I am ugly I'm average but Steven's got a good heart. Back Off.

I had to sign up here to make this comment...It is a terrible thing that a celebrity such as Steven can't go on a vacation and go to the beach and have a good time without someone around every corner trying to photograph his every move...but I must confess....I LOVED finding these pictures! I have been to 3 Aerosmith concerts and he has "IT !!!" He is sooooo talented, such an AWSOME voice,AWSOME MUSIC and undeniable delicous,wild,real magnetic sex appeal.....mmmmmmmmm.......go see them in concert....YOU WILL SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! It is a auora all around him. He is a unique rare ONE OF KIND entertainer. I so wish I could meet him one day....I just don't know if the ticker could take it though....lol. I had doubting friends that I drug to a concert...they are TOTALLY in agreement now....HE ROCKS !!! IGNORE THE HATERS....DON'T CHANGE A THING STEVEN! YOU ARE SIZZLING HOT!

I had to sign up here to make this comment...It is a terrible thing that a celebrity such as Steven can't go on a vacation and go to the beach and have a good time without someone around every corner trying to photograph his every move...but I must confess....I LOVED finding these pictures! I have been to 3 Aerosmith concerts and he has "IT !!!" He is sooooo talented, such an AWSOME voice,AWSOME MUSIC and undeniable delicous,wild,real magnetic sex appeal.....mmmmmmmmm.......go see them in concert....YOU WILL SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! It is a auora all around him. He is a unique rare ONE OF KIND entertainer. I so wish I could meet him one day....I just don't know if the ticker could take it though....lol. I had doubting friends that I drug to a concert...they are TOTALLY in agreement now....HE ROCKS !!! IGNORE THE HATERS....DON'T CHANGE A THING STEVEN! YOU ARE SIZZLING HOT!

He's an entertainer and singer not a swimsuit model you friggin loosers. Go see a show a-holes.

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