Paris Hilton can read?

If Paris needs someone who can actually read, she can hire me to help her out. After I buy that hazmat suit.

I think she could be a great actress, and The Hottie and The Nottie sounds like the perfect movie for her. Shes playing the "nottie" right.. and the movie is a hardcore porn based on beauty and the beast? Yeah she'd be perfect for that role.

paris, sweeite, a role in the film "titty titty bang bang" isnt on the path to becoming an actress.
i swear to god if this bitch is in anything remotely close to a reputable film i will make it my duty to seek and destroy every version of it

Here's a book suggestion: One Million Ways to Kill Yourself

And what better way to display your acting talents than with the movie "The Hottie and the Nottie?" What a crock. Will this bitch die already?

#4 - Dude that's already a movie...I mean...what?

News services are reporting that there's just been a shooting incident in a Vegas High School several young people are reported killed.

Sadly, Paris Hilton was not among them.

EIGHTH!

ya douche!!!

Since the stupid bitch can't even remember to fill up her car with petrol, not once, not twice, but THREE times in one day - I hold out little hope for her being able to remember any of her lines. But I guess if its similar to her movie 'One Night in Paris' remembering lines will be the last thing on her mind

This is exactly why Hollywood is REALLY going to the dumps lately...that STD-ridden place is putting out crappier movies by the second....

Paris is such a loser. She's so good at being disappointing. She's a professional loser. Hey, I just called her a "professional"...that's a step up for her!

Seriously, she couldn't even act horny in a porn movie. In fact, when she's told to act horny for the movie, she gives herself bunny ears and says "Is this horny enough?"

Yeah whatever.....
I'd hit that

Is it possible to grow so sick of someone's face that you can't think anymore? I mean, I have seen that goddamned long face more times than my husband's or my cat's or my parents. This is out of control.

Jesus, she is seriously worth about as much as pair of used undies. And I mean, with doodie in the butt side.

i saw her do a screening for a movie about a retarded nympho. She was pretty convincing.

How come if she was so great in her porno that she can't even get a job as Ron Jeremy's fluffer?

Maybe she can get a role in some sex education film that they show to horny teenage boys. They can call the film "Scared Celibate."

Can you cure cancer too Paris?

I like to play a fun game where you match up the celebrity with a very mix-matched movie role, such as "Starring Nick Nolte, as Christ." So, let's see........starring Paris Hilton as Marie Curie........

This is will be filmed as an open ended documentary,

starring Paris Hilton as Amelia Earhart

Hey, heeeeeeey... stop waving that nose picker at me Missy...

Hee hee hee... it makes me laugh when Europeans call it 'petrol'...

I'd like to see her in the credits as "Rape and Murder Victim #4"

Her best acting gig was her death scene in The House of Wax. If I could just see her dying all the time, I probably would take her seriously as an actress.

Shouldn't the title of this post have been "Paris Hilton is a serious asshole"?

I strongly encourage her to consider a starring role in a snuff film.

Starring Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa

#20 - You refer to gasoline as "gas". At least we don't go around saying we put "pet" in our fuel tank. Gas and gasoline have too completely different meanings...that's if you want to get technical about things...

Anyway back on topic, maybe she's starring as the hottie because all of her lines consist of "that's hot".

If she is playing "the nottie," she really doesn't have to do much acting.

I blame her parents for all of the pain we have to endure on a daily basis.

she should start with a remake of the "Bionic Woman." don't they replace an eye or something? right up her alley (so to speak).

FIRST COCKSUCKERS!!!!

Check out her necklace. Ugliest thing I've seen since her soggy, pancake ass.

yeah, i wasnt sure she could read either

www.carpemundus.com - dumb bitches

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Im just so fucken sick of people shittin on Paris . . .grrrrrr!

Just fucken leeve her alone ok????

Anyone who doesnt like hur iz just immensly JEALOUS and OUTRAGED that shez so sexy and good looking!!!!

Paris iz my idol yoo kno . . .and to see a fellow human being getting treated so badly iz just appalling . . .

Like how dares yoos, dont act like yoo havnt sucked a cock or havnt ever had sex, or dont act like u mighten hav filmed it, becuz u can experiment with thingz like that, and im sure yoo hav . . .

Anywayz i love Paris for WHO SHE IS, yes she may be slutty, but people like me look up to her so shut up!!!!

XxXxXxX Kyle Hilton XxXxXxX

Starring Paris Hilton as....Sleestak

Here are some good movies for this slut to star in...

"Dangerous Lesions"
"Men in Back"
"Hannah and Her Blisters"

I've got more...

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Hey!!!!

Im like so sick of people shitting on Paris!!!! grrrrrr!!!!

Just leeve her alone OK?????

Whoever says anything negative or disses her is just immensly JEALOUS oh HER, becuz u suck and she duznt!!!!

And so wot if shez sucked a cock man!!!!

Like who haznt????

To be honest with yoos, i am absolutely APPALLED at the amount of crap Paris gets off people, and ive just had enough!!!!

Treat a fellow human being how yoo wuld like to be treated, even if its not in reel life!

And at least Paris has an acting career!!!

Wot wuz the last acting gig yoo got? huh?

She probly duz more then yoo do for your job and shez alredy got billions of dollars in her family, but shes STILL working!!!!

So treat Paris Nice aiight????

XxXxXxX Kyle Hilton XxXxXxX

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Paris is only interesting as herself, not playing someone else, because it is always fascinating to watch a rich, stupid person as they train-wreck their way through life. We don't have as much money as she does, but I don't think her money could buy my brains. So there!

"Interview with a Vibrator"...

"Pulp Friction"...

I think Paris would be a great actress because she always taking care of animals.

Half a peace sign is cooler than a peace sign now?

Oooooh! She really burns Lohan with that one!

#40...

You are right, her favorite animal is the one-eyed trouser snake...

"Rosemary's Beaver"

"Sperms of Endearment"

That is not the peace sign she is chucking at us thats the finger she used on.....
http://www.topsexywomen.com/paris-hilton.html

..Tango and Gash...

...Threesomes Company...

She is TOO serious, like really! OOOhh!

..Star Trek: The Next Penetration"...

..."Night of The Giving Head"...

..."Shaving Ryan's Privates"...

...Schindler's Fist..."

This reminds me of the time my mom got me "The Power of Pussy" for my 15th birthday, as we were living in Mexico and Mexicans celebrate their sweet sixteen when they turn fifteen. It's called a "quinceanera". Anyway, I didn't read it but I learned a lot about sterile breeds of horses that day.

God damnit.

.."Mr. Holland Groped Us."...

Cha cha cha, I got a million of 'em..I'll get this skank star billing in some shitty porn flick deserving of her talent, which is mostly cocksucking...

I'm laughing so hard right now.

Indy-Anal Jones and the Temple of Poon

Men in Black Men

G*A*S*H*

"..In and Out in Beverly Hills..."

..."Romancing the Bone..."

..."Murphy's Brown..."

..."When Harry Ate Sally..."

..."Womb Raider..."

Haven't all of these porns already been filmed? She'd have to start in their sequels.

Or we could get Michael Moore to document the train wreck of a life she's lived, and call is "Jackass 3: The REAL Thing".

#58...

Fair enough -

"Paris Hilton, now starring in:

Womb Raider II - On the Rag"...

ha... thats all i can say...

BURNTCITY

..."Total Reball"...

..."Gilligan's Asshole..."

"..Intercourse With A Vampire..."

Oh godammit that is a funny one...

..."Whore of the Worlds..."

I like corn

Do you like the corn hole?

Yeah, with a name like BillyFlamingo, he definitely likes the corn hole...

Paris in television:

"...King of Queefs..."
"...The Real Whore: San Francisco..."
"...Six Inches Under..."
"...South Twat..."
"...Gonorrhea Explains It All..."

Titty Slickers 2: The Legend of Gold Curlies.

ToiletDuck, forget Mandela and MacKillop, you are now my hero now

...The Mary Tyler Whore Show...

..Ballin in the Family...

...The Sheets of San Francisco...

IMDB says that she's got a remarkable acting career so far:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0385296/

They somehow missed One night in Paris :(

ONCE AGAIN....

TOILET DUCK RULES!!!!!!!!!!

#34

You are writing at an eighth grade level.

That leaves one of two possibilities. First possibility is that you are really in the eighth grade, which means that your parents shouldn't allow you on this website.

Second possibility is that you have a serious mental handicap that prevents you from being able to correctly spell difficult words like "is".

I'd hit it and break her jaw at the same time.

#73 - I have a MPEG of that, except that the part of Paris is played by a Barbie doll. Funny shit. Paris ends up wheelchair bound.

Toilet Duck - you are the king of porn! Move over Larry Flynt!!!

her sunglasses remind me of super troopers. meow you be careful, paris! B-/

#72:

I'm pretty sure #34 was kidding.

At least I hope she is.

I guess no one has seen her Oscar nominated flick she just put out, National Lampoon Pledge This. I just watched this yesterday, what a piece of crap. Thank god I only downloaded this for free. But I will never get that 1 1/2 hours back that I wasted watching it. Here is the url.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417056/

The only role she's fit to star in is on a channel called WonkaVision.

ToiletDuck - well played. Got my morning off to a good start. Thank you.

Here's what I want to know - does Rick Hilton wake up every day and look at his wife and daughters and think "I am so proud!"?

Or does he just cry himself to sleep at night?

This is just TOO much fun...more movies for this skank to be the STAR...

"Edward Penishands..."
"In Diana Jones.."
"Das Booty"...

"A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream"...

"Oh, She's Eleven.."

Yeesssssss!!!!

"Ally McSqueal..."

"Drilling MIss Daisy..."

"Facial Attraction"...

They say you DO have to have SOME talent to make it in show business, finally Paris' proficiency in the art of fellatio will be given the recogition it deserves...

Good for you honey, I promise to watch ALL of your movies...

Bitch...

If it weren't for her daddy's money, she'd be a waitress at an Outback Steak House.

sucking dick and getting fucked to prove your whore nationally doesnt make you a good actress...shes a human cumbag...shes a useless peice of shit...but at least shit can be used as fertilizer....

So what about you #88 -- what does sucking dick and getting fucked internationally get you?.....

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#74:- Well actually, im like in the 9th grade, i just like came outta year 8.
Also, this iz like my computa so like i can go on woteva website i like want to go on, and ur probly old, so u wuldnt understand like popular peoples writing. So like get with it, becuz ur probly fat and not skinny, which would mean your a low class, cheap human being . . .so get with it oldie!

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#78:- No im like not kidding, Paris is like the best role model, also Nicole Richie, iz like the best thinspiration!

P.S. Actually im a boy!

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XxXxXxXx Kyle Hilton XxXxXxXxX

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#90 -- Actually, you're a demented unsupervised derranged child, most likely under the influence of dope and rap music, (term used loosely), who ought to be rapped up side the head with his keyboard. Tell you what junior, have your mommy call my office in the morning. The secretary will give her the name of an expensive therapist and a list of substance programs in your area. Now get to bed dipshit. It's late..

Toilet Duck is a fucking pisser. Well done, sir.

#90 - what part of this planet ends the school year in December and then sends you on in January. You in Australia & not on your summer holiday or something?

Kyle - it's tiny jackoffs like you that are slowly bringing the civilized world to its knees because you're too lazy to even write / type the language correctly, let alone graduate high school and hold down a job in a skilled trade or, God forbid, go to college and become the next millionaire.

Stop being a buffoon. You know that you're not popular - your school picture looks like the nerd from the Vonage ads and the girl's basketball players at your school constantly pull your tidy-whitey's up over your ears in the hallway of the math wing on a regular basis. You probably waited in line to buy K-Fed's album when it hit the store shelves, didn't you?

Just STFU & leave this blog to the grown-ups, K?

One more thing: you know all of those "x"s in your cute, little signature line? See if you can find a fence in your neighborhood that looks like this, and then try & high jump over it for us. And don't tell us when you've impaled yourself - we'll know by your absence that you're dead.

The best selling movie Paris will ever be in is 1 Night In Paris

..Well, I haven't YET had my coffee - however, here goes a couple more...

..."My Stepmother Fucked An Alien"...
..."I Know Who You Blew Last Summer..."
..."Shall We Fuck?"

ALso, she could develop her OWN show, called The T.W.A.T. Team...(T.W.A.T. stands for Tactical Women's Assault Team - and you thought it was going to be something DIRTY!!!

Other Paris Hilton movies:

..."Heiress Pothead and the Socialite's Stoned"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the Chamber of Anal Secretions"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the Prisoner of Assripping"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the Gobbling of Firecrotch"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the H'orderves of the Phogina"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the Half-Beavered Pricks"...
..."Heiress Pothead and the Deadly Hammer-Cocks"...

...

"E3 - The Extra Testicle..."

..."Ferris Bueller's Jack Off..."

..."Choka-Hontas..."

this site rules. Thanks for always making me laugh

#89 hmmm i wouldnt know...too bad im a virgin with morals and dignity....and if your sticking up for uh...that underfed bird...enlighten me with some great deeds she has accomplished....

Serious actress my ass. But Paris does give seriously great blowjobs, swallows cum and snorts coke!