Jan 16 2007Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes

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I've always wondered where my fear of clowns came from, and now I suspect it's from Kate Winslet sneaking into my bedroom at night as a little kid. Either that, or the fact that a clown murdered and ate my parents in front of me at the circus. I guess we'll never really know for sure.

A few more of Kate Winslet looking relatively less frightening after the jump.

NOTE: Click the picture for the full effect. If you dare.


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First?

She's gorgeous!

She's smiling like Katie Holmes without the brainwash!

Dearest Kate,

When you were born Daddy and Mummy were so overjoyed. You were a delightful baby, always cooing and slept like an angel. Then, ahen you were 6 or 7 weeks old, you gave us that first, terrifying smile. That's why you were reaised by nuns, my darling. We told you over and over "Never smile!", but you persisted.

It was with great sadness, my love, that we watched you on the Golden Globes last night, smiling to beat the proverbial band. We simply cannot tolerate it any longer, thus we are severing all contact with you.

Good luck with the acting.

Mum

It looks like a crow danced across her face. She's not old enough to look that bad!

It looks like a crow danced across her face. She's not old enough to look that bad!

i'd do her any day. but she really could use a few larger sizes of boob. it'd fit her.

Nice sneer. No one can hold a candle to Dick Cheney, tho.

She looked huge standing next to that ryan seacrest guy.

Nice Deep Thoughts rip-off, you unimaginative comedy-stealing Superficial Man. This site? Dead to me..

Clever paraphrasing of Deep Thoughts, "To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

Not.

It was a lot funnier the first time, in 1991.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you THE GREAT VAMPIRA!!!

Not a fan of Kate's lipstick either but that didnt drive me to rip off funny lines from 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handy. Thought we wouldnt notice did you? I thought you were more creative than that Mr. Superficial.

Hmmmm...now I get it. He's afraid of clowns. Hence the "Anticlown Media" name. Haha.
Oh yeah, and she does look GOD awful here.

She must have put vaseline on her teeth like those pageant bitches

She is better than botox
All of my wrinkles are going away

See ya in 5 minutes

yey i finally made an account with the superficial. thats number 62 gone on my list of things to do before i die

I still like her! I'm not much of a fan for make-up period and the dark lipstick is nasty.

Apparently these comments are a Deep Thoughts rip off and people think that's sad. Isn't it more sad that people still remember a Deep Thought from 1991? Or is that just my opinion? And seriously, is nobody allowed to make reference to clowns because deep thoughts did it once?! Do you think that deep thoughts was the first to ever make such a joke? i would imagine that they "ripped it off" from someone else. And what happens if a clown really does kill some guys parents and that person expresses with great sorrow how they have a fear of clowns because a clown killed their parents. would you then insult them and claim they are ripping off deep thoughts? honestly now, that's just sad haha.

Or maybe it's more like this smile.

Kate's cool. Now, Cameron Diaz on the other hand..........if you have a fear of a big read mouth chomping you to bits.......

(20)Troll report.

We need more pictures of Jessica Alba

DFLTC

"Isn't it more sad that people still remember a Deep Thought from 1991?"

Well, apparently the "author" of this site remembers a Deep Thoughts segment from 1991, enough to recite it almost verbatim on his website. But for some reason you don't seem to think that's sad, so much that you'll defend his plagiary.

And furthermore, that was SNL's Golden Age, biotch. Of course people fucking remember it. You probably prefer the comedy stylings of Jimmy Fallon or Horatzio Sans or any of those fucking hacks.

Ha ha, look at 'em run and hide. Hey kids! I'm just using blanks, fer cryin' out loud!

AAAAAAAAHHHHH!! mommy the scary man scared me!

(mommy whispers in my ear)

oh....but....but.....why does he...uh, she have scary thick eyebrows and a huge abnormally dark red lips that look like when the discovery channel showed surgery on a leg muscle?"

I thought the Deep Thoughts about going to the circus had something to do with clown genitalia? But I could be confusing that with my trip to the circus in '83.

My personal fave Deep Thought by Jack Handey:

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

You sure got a purdy mouth...

Oh, pardon me... Is cussing not allowed here?

Biatcho... #12 quoted it.

Rough mug.

gross

Deeeeep Plagarisms..........by the Superficial

I'd shag her.

christ. don't famous people have tooth whitener? her teeth look disgusting.

36 - It's not entirely her fault her teeth are yellow, she IS British so it's inherent.

A beautiful, sexy woman and a great actress--descriptors which fit none of us here, I would bet.

let's see, let's see...what's here on this one where i can eventually say yet again "this site used to be great now it sucks" ...hmmmm...

For the love of god! Why do these idiots even get paid so much? Are they spending that money or are they just saving up until Bin Laden seeks revenge????

Somebody please tell this bitch that there's a thing called "teeth whitening". You can get it at your local Walgreens for less than 40 bucks.

Geesh.

Real clowns are much scarier than Kate Winslet with garish lipstick. She does, however, look like she could nail a role as a vampire.

#39

Is that English? Would you be good enough to translate that shit, please?

Thank you.

She looks like she had work done. Notice every picture of her from the Peter Pan movie had bunched hair next to her cheekbones and hairline the whole time.

she's too white, I bet she glows in the dark.

There's a color cast on the top photos so her teeth are going to look a tad yellowish. Compare the dress in the top and bottom photos.

She looks like a tranny....... a shitty one.

i dont care, not that im gay or anything, but I'd still drink that womens bath water.

I AM Jack Handy!!

You plagarize me again Mr. theSuperficial and you will be hearing from my lawyers.

Jack Handy

I still ♥ PrettyBaby.

Wally ♥'s PrettyBaby.

She needs to sue her plastic surgeon. Right now.

Kate is beautiful, and this is an unfortunate, unflattering picture. Her lips look better pale.

My favorite Deep Thought:

One day I was taking a walk through the woods alone when suddenly I came accross a dead body. Quickly I called the police, and as I waited for them to arrive, I thought to myself, “Who was this man, and why did he have antlers?”

#49 That looks like you still "aTM" PrettyBaby. Talk about tmi...

At first glimpse I thought the main picture was of Madonna, albeit with relatively-superior teeth.

Nice necklet btw.

Remove the bleach from her hair, add Groucho eyebrows, and she's a dead ringer for that 1940's Mommy Dearest actress. Also, she needs to practice her intense, hate-filled eyes stare.

Smart stylist!The necklet makes something outta her...

I think she looks great. Wrong lipstick is all.

I think she's very classy.

And although the lipstick is a bit much, she is very pretty. She's not pretty in the "OMG I WANT TO HARDCORE BANG YOU RIGHT NOW" sense... but she has a more natural beauty to her.

WHOA, WHO GOT OLD ALLOFASUDDEN?

Is there a picture of anyone, anyone at all looking good at the Golden Globes? Or did everyone look like crap? Just one picture of anyone looking good....I dare you!

I think it may be time for night creme.

she's getting nightly cremes that's why she's so crinkly - bingbong heyooo!

#61: Drew Barrymore looked outstanding (no droopy boobs):

http://www.people.com/people/package/redcarpet2007/gallery/0,,20006775_20006984_9,00.html

I can't do links :(

On a different note, I would bang Sacha Baron Cohen like a screen door in a hurricane.

64. In contrast to yourself, sin duda.

65. Or much else, I'd wager.

Oh, and RPLTC, a very, very, very long time!

Kate is a beautiful woman, but the dark brows and lips do not work for her at all.

according to People, hilary swank was one of the best dressed (so, best tucked-back)

very true, Kate needs something white around her mouth and eyes

#69: You sit...on a throne...of lies.

#67: That should be for you.

#68: Apologies!

#69: Apologies. I'm being trolled.

Awww I like Kate. She looks good.

I can't wait to see Winslet fall. She's had it too good for her mediocre talents.

She's starting to look like Madonna but without the gaps.

Normally, I'm all for the annihilation of clowns. Here, though, I'm willing to entertain thoughts of mercy...

She just needs to tone down the lipstick. A soft peach or something would have looked much better. Other then that, she looks great.

73. Apology accepted, cunt ;^}

Oh, well, perhaps not the best picturea of Kate...

But she really is very beautiful. And her dress is lovely and very ladylike. She looks like a movie star instead of a $20 crack whore.

Can someone explain why women don't color all the way to their roots? The makes me want to question why do you color your hair in the first place if the original color shows. Does hair coloring fade from the roots outward?

Welcome to middle age, Winslet. I think you could get a part on Footballers Wives now.

#23 We definitely need more pictures of Jessica Alba

Something about her "smile" (if it can be called that) in the first picture really disturbs me a lot. Like she's baring her fangs instead of actually smiling.

Oh, and aren't celebrities supposed to be able to afford better dye jobs? Nice roots, Kate, and fantastic hair/eyebrow color contrast too. lawlz

Poor choice in lipstick but I don't think she looks that bad.

This woman is so gorgeous I want to bite her, but she should FIRE her make-up "artist". She looks like Jack Nicholson in Batman.

Jack Handy's version was much funnier. Could at least cite any comment you steal (and try to change) from other writers...give credit where credit is due.

She's pretty, but she needs some alpha hydroxy, stat. Before it's too late.

And red lipstick is so 90s goth. Let's get over that fad people. It never looks good.

I'm scared of clowns and I don't see it here. She looks gorgeous. The lipstick and eyebrow combo is a little severe, oh well.

Ghastly set of chompers, but absolutely luv' the eyebrows!

Hope she doesn't shave/wax her netherland before we meet next time.

Hey baby, I've got two beers!

lol, i have no idea how she ever even made it into movies

KATE WINSLET IS GORGEOUS! What the heck are you talking about? And she's no "bitch" as some of you losers call her. She's a talented actress and still has a great body even after having two kids. Also she's not into botox or plastic surgery, so she's a NATURAL beauty. Check out her movies, man.

rofl i still love her

She is an icon. She is history in the making before our eyes. She has been nominated for, give or take, 4 Oscars (sadly hasn't won yet), a few BAFTA and countless other foreign awards. She has played every role from Heavenly Creatures, Iris, David gale, Titanic and recently The Holiday. I think its sad that she is still criticized to this day, by her fans, let alone the media, because she's "fat", and her lipstick is different, and her hair is bleached blond. I think we all need to take a long look in the mirror and figure out what's wrong with us, before we attack people we don't even know! She is a hell of an actor, and in my opinion one hell of a person! We should be so lucky!

At least, she looks like a human.....erm..in the first place, they are human, I think its better to show some wrinkles, then to always have botox injection and what ever it is to own flawless skin, or is it we have all thought that we are flawless and should remain that way?? if it is so, we are living in a sick world.

What on earth is everyone on about? I think Kate looks gorgeous and that the dark roots and rows' feet ADD to he beauty. She looks REAL, not like some models and actors that look like tall four-year-olds. It's great to see an actress leadng the way for young people and adolescents such as myself, standing up for what they believe in by disregarding plastic surgery and heavy weigh loss. She is a truly, truly beautiful woman who deserves muchmore respect than what people are giving her. I'd like to see you smiling and constantly standing in front of millions of people, all the while having the Paparazzi make claims and untrue statements about your personal life! No one on here could do half as good a job performing as she has, in Titanic especially.

What on earth is everyone on about? I think Kate looks gorgeous and that the dark roots and rows' feet ADD to he beauty. She looks REAL, not like some models and actors that look like tall four-year-olds. It's great to see an actress leadng the way for young people and adolescents such as myself, standing up for what they believe in by disregarding plastic surgery and heavy weigh loss. She is a truly, truly beautiful woman who deserves muchmore respect than what people are giving her. I'd like to see you smiling and constantly standing in front of millions of people, all the while having the Paparazzi make claims and untrue statements about your personal life! No one on here could do half as good a job performing as she has, in Titanic especially.

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