Isn't this for a commercial or something?

http://www.
1000's of cheats for PS3, Wii, Xbox360 and PSP

are you sure thats not anna nicole circa 2001?

She looks like Anna Nicole. Smith. Not that other Anna Nicole. You know the one I'm talking about.

Cow or no cow, she still looks better than Britney.

What can I say..? Chicks walk funny and gain about 30 lbs after a night with my johnson...

I think she's got Mini-Me underneath that tent of a dress...

She looks like she's about to fall flat on her face - mind you, figuratively speaking, she does the same thing every time she opens her mouth to "sing"...

WAit! I thought that was Anna NIcole too!

Her body is so not a wonderland.

I'm not going to call her fat, because that could well be a trick of that inhumanly unflattering dress, but I will say that she's gained a lot of weight in a short time. Maybe the shock of it all is what's causing her to jump up and fall down at the same time.

Jessica Simpson
1/2 ounce pity
1 ounce failure
2 ounces ultimately worthless marketing
1 ounce tears from Anna Nicole Simpson
1/2 ounce Kirstie Alley
3 drops incest

Add into a glass, one tablespoon at a time, all the while muttering to yourself that it wasn't supposed to be this way and that your sister's going to fall on her face soon enough and then it'll be back to YOU again, just you WAIT. As you stir the drink languidly while sobbing, have your father come up from behind you and slap you a couple times while he unzips his jeans, saying he has to punish you for disappointing the family...

Cows aren't that stupid.

paris hilton sleeps with a monkey at crabbie's

Looks like she dances a bit like me.

Come back here!-Joe

Chesticca's mom- Seriously Joe, grow up. Can't you see that she's filming?

Joe- I only wanted to chase her a little bit. Maybe it'll burn off some extra calories. Whatever.

Chesstica- Damn, did I leave my Valtrex in the trailer? Too late for that. Maybe I can hide in that bush over there.

Maybe she has acid reflux...

253 straight days eating obscene amounts of pudding and calzones to get this body and you're not going to watch me in DirecTV HD?It's broadcast in 1080i. I totally don't know what that means, but I want it. I also want a hot dog.

@15. HAHAHAHA!

Only, I think she scarfed down Minnillo instead of those calzones.

(They're going to have to change the standard to 2080i to get it all in)

Elsie the Milk Cow dances the jig, like her stupid, talentless, lipsynching, little cocksucker of a sister...

It's weird how Ashlee is now the hot sister...

She wants to be just like Anna Nicole when she grows up. And look, she's already halfway there.

You stay classy Jessica.

Is Anna Nichole Smith hiding under her dress?

Here's a picture of her weight specialist:

http://egotastic.com/image?path=0701/britney-spears-ugly-03.jpg&info=Britney%20Spears%20Ugly%20Pictures

#10, the dress isn't unflattering - her fat body is. A year ago she'd have looked great in it.

I think this is for an ad for Pizza Hut, hence the extra poundage/cow like appearance.

it can't be her, there's no peenlette bulge

I would sooo hit that.

As a fan of cows, I strongly resent this correlation.

even though she does look large, i'm she she's still smaller than she used to be. she wouldn't look so big now if she hadn't withered away to nothing for that movie (and i use the word movie loosely). none of this matter though because clearly she's trying to wear clothes that she USED to be able to wear.

Adn just when I thought that #15 had all of the funny wrapped up on this issue, #17 came along & took it to the next level.
ROTMFFLMMFAO!! }^D
THAT'S why I love this blog - everybody challenging everybody else to take funny to new heights. Way to work together!!

Where was this picture taken anyway? All that mayhem in the background makes it look like the alley behind a junkyard or something.

"Case for", Mr. Superfish, not "case against".

That's photostopped- look at this: http://www.tmz.com/2007/01/04/simpson-peddles-pizza-pimp-pop-pleased/

The guy who trained her for Dukes of Hazzard must be ready to slit his wrists. "I spent 6 fucking months working that bimbo out and then she goes and ruins it by drowning herself in Ho Ho's!!"

i dunno #31, it doesn't look that far off. maybe she decided to breathe and someone got a photo of her letting out her gut.

#10, that was really creepy

what does this have to do with jessica alba?

The photo from TMZ shows even more bludges than this one. Dif is the belly, which is on full display here.
Jessica should have been filming for Ben and Jerry's....."Chunky Monkey" comes to mind.

Yep, like I said, it shows even more bludges, never mind the bulges, too.....Er.....

Somewhere in a one-room studio apartment, O.J. Simpson is rejoicing in the fact that he's not the most repulsive Simpson on the planet anymore, and somewhere on Evergreen Terrace in Springfield, Homer Simpson is rejoicing that he isn't the fattest one.

#31: Or the ORIGINAL is photoshopped and we are looking at the real Jess

There is no excuse for a person with this much money being this fat. NONE.

But it still makes me smile to see how far she has tumbled.

i conur with all the Anna comments, I just didnt wanna be like the hundreth person who said it.

She really looks like Satan's chubby little secret

I bet Jessica would look totally do-able with some added weight. Unfortunately, like most women, she'll listen to the homosexuals and embittered women who tell her that resembling the Cryptkeepter is how to land a guy.

Put some pounds on, Jess. The only workout you'll need is with me, between the sheets.

This goes for everyone here.

If you think Jess looks worse as the result of accumulating soft, full, womanly curves you are one of things.

1. A homosexual male (I'm not judging)
2. An ugly female

There are no alternatives

This goes for everyone here.

If you think Jess looks worse as the result of accumulating soft, full, womanly curves you are one of two things:

1. A homosexual male (I'm not judging)
2. An ugly female

There are no alternatives

NO way. That HAS to be Anna Nicole. There is no way she would put that much weight on!
Dang. If that is her, (and let us remember folks, she get's paid for looking good)maybe the headlines should've said "Jessica Simpson EATS a cow."

Haaha I agree with 38.

Enough said:]

I stand corrected.

She must have caught down syndrome from having sex with John Mayer.

#22 OH MY GOD!!! "Buzz, your girlfriend! WOOF!"

In 10 years she'll be the new Rosie ODonnell.
-Overweight
-Obnoxious
And she'll turn into a lesbian eventually...

Jessica Simpson is uuup 5% today http://www.trendio.com/word.php?wordid=1244&language=en

#51 - Apparently she's already 2/3 of the way there.

For the "its photoshopped" peeps its actually 1 of 2 shots that I've seen (on PITNB I think)
And why is this surprising anyway? Jess was chunky when she did that Dolly tribute.....

she may look overweight in that pic, but still Jessica Simpson is 1 billion times prettier and hotter than the no ass, no tits, no curves, stick body with cellulite, average face Jessica Alba you're so obsessed about.

Jessica Simpson is so pretty and waaay hotter!!! (actually pretty and hot, not like Alba)

she may look overweight in that pic, but still Jessica Simpson is 1 billion times prettier and hotter than the no ass, no tits, no curves, stick body with cellulite, average face Jessica Alba you're so obsessed about.

Jessica Simpson is so pretty and waaay hotter!!! (actually pretty and hot, not like Alba)

woah, so funny Superfish, if you post pictures of a gorgeous girl trying to call her cow, at least post the real deal and not photoshoped pictures. This is the real one: http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.tmz.com/media/2007/01/0104_jessica_car_ford_365.jpg

you were afraid she would so outshine your Jessica Alba ROFLOL??

Remember her "Dukes of Hazard" days when she used to be so lean and hot? Gosh, what a difference a year make.

Guess the Minnillo-Lachey perfect New Years picture really hit her hard. After seeing them, she went straight to Taco Bell and ordered their whole stock. Then she went on a nice date with Ben & Jerry.

#57 - Lay off the Superfish dude. That's not even the same picture, you douche.

she looks like she's having a whale of a time

She's fat, short, stumpy, ugly, and a fake blonde.

Actually I think she looks good with a little extra weight. Lots of girls do. I'll admit I've put on a few extra pounds, but I think I still look pretty hot if I do say so myself!

pfft, she looks fine. she's always been naturally curvy, and she said before that she pretty much had to starve herself and work out 7 days a week to get the daisy duke body.

anyway who cares. i think the fact that she's doing commercials for freakin pizza hut makes a few extra pounds the least of her worries. while her peers are doing chanel and gucci...she's doing pizza hut. yup, that's a crowning achievement right there.

are you kidding me.... yah she gained some weight but she isnt fat... she looks like a NORMAL girl who doesnt have an eating disorder.

#10

Celetina, that is some deeply disturbing shit. Outstanding effort.

This goes for anyone named Krom:

If you think Jessica Simpson is not a fat cow then you must be:

A. Jessica Simpson
B. Joe Simpson

Chances are you're B and that you like to fuck your own family members. As Dick Vitale would say, incest is best. baby!

she is not fat that pic is photoshopped..she looks great and is a beautiful girl...what a bunch of jealous people..if she was anorexic we would call her zombie! lighten up guys

#44 - 46: there is a difference between curvy and sexy and just plain fat & sloppy.
- Curvy & Sexy: Jess in The Dukes of Hazzard last year.
- Fat & Sloppy: Jess in this Pizza Hut commercial.
Look at the gunt for God's sake!

#57 - You're a day late & a dollar short. See #31. And personally I take Alba over Simpson any day of the week.

#63 - FTLTC!

#64 - good point! Pizza Hut & Direct TV (using really bad computer enhancement to make her mouth look like she's actually saying what we're hearing) is a top-shelf gig. NOT.

actually i think it'd be awesome to hook up with her now. she's impossibly dumb, has major (pimp)daddy issues, and now she's getting fat. if you just said "you're purdy, and like way more talented than Asslee" she'd be willing to do absolutely anything. you could work your way through the entire Urban Dictionary, as long as you had enough lube and disinfectant soap. and then you sell the tape to Joe. all in all, quite a deal.

I'd hit it.

#55

If you looked up asshat in the dictionary you'd see your picture next to it.

Alba is HOT. She's way hotter then Simpson.

And as for her. Yeah she's gained a few pounds, but she's not fat just a little chubby.

I'd still do her.

Ya know what they say... The more chusion the better the pushin.

she was never impressive ever. but, i will say she is doing better than brit which isn't saying much.

#72

I thought it was "more cushion for the pushin'?"

(57)I still can count her "lovehandles".

(75)I'm still counting...

Oh, yeah. Sitting at your desk and typing this article, I would hope that you look STUNNINGLY GLAMOUROUS yourself.

(77)Almost as stunningly as yourself.

It's not any of those things. It's "the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'."

#74 and 79

As muc as I love a spirited debate I believe all three are socially acceptable.

The point is I'd still hit that thang.

(77,78)I forgot to say "dear" *wink*.

Ok, while i don't necesarily agree that shes fat, i think that when youre a big time celebrity whos constantly in the public eye, your job is to look good, cause thats why they pay you. I mean thats like if i started flunking out in school or started slacking off at work, i would get fired simple as that. And she has no excuse to be fat, because if i had tons of money, free time in my hand, and enough motivation to realized that i could lose it all if i didnt look like a supermodel, i would get my shit together to look hot. I understand that shes been through a tough time, but she not a regular person like us who can have that pleasure of eating a ton of ice cream when we feel depressed, considering she can afford the best shrink and antidepressive pills so she has no excuse to be over her normal weight.

I can't stand the chick, but to call her fat is SICK. Where is the balance? Why does everyone have to be less than a size 4? And yes I am 5 ft 9 in and a size 4, but lighten the hell up. You're all perpetuating these unbelievable standards of vanity.

#77. I do look quite handsome in my uniform, and last month I was awarded the drive through employee of the month, bitch.

So the photo on this site was helped along a little. . .I really enjoyed getting to poke fun at JS for a few minutes. So she's not really fat--she's still practically retarded.

"And yes I am 5 ft 9 in and a size 4,"

Funny BS. Only a fat and ugly pig would get upset at someone calling a spade a spade. She's fat (and so are you)... deal with it and stop whining. God, I hate fat people.

Hey stop insulting cows! They have feelings too!

lol

I have a hard time believing that is her, not too long ago she looked like this Sexiest Jessica Simpson Pictures

Jessica Simpson is a midget, she's like 5'3 and no she shouldn't be a size 6.

For her height anything above size 2 is fat, so all you fat chicks need to stop blabbing and buy a mirror.
She looks like a big fat red cow and her face doesn't help either.

In my opinion, Celetina still takes the best posting for this one.

It's not so much that Jessica just has curves, like the Dove Commercials and 80% of healthy women out there, it's that she is incredibly dumb.

Plus, her face lift at 17, nose job, eye lift, and lip plumping made her look wrong. Just wrong.

If she let her hair go natural (BROWN! - there is NOTHING wrong with having Brown hair) stopped tanning, and just spent her free time (lord knows she has alot) working out? She's be back to hot in no time and I think she could go a little gothy maybe, tuck the sack back, put on some rough... you know... She just needs to tone up the abs a bit and do some lunges.

Listen, I betch half of the people posting here have "cubicle ass" if you know what mean.

Okay, yes she has gained a little weight as we all do. Big deal. She is still beautiful and I think she looks a hell of a lot better with some meat on her bones then she did in that ?movie?. Her frame does not look right at 108 pounds which is how much she weighted in the dukes of hazard. She looked horrible. She is under a lot of stress and like all of us, eats junk food. You are all making her sound obese, maybe she needs to loose 10 pounds that?s it. Not everyone can look like nasty Pamela Anderson. At least Jessica is not afraid to have some curves which all women should have. She is happy with herself, we should be too. Just leave her alone. She always loses weight after awhile anyway. Look at this picture, tell me if you think she looks better with some meat on her or anorexic.

http://www.perpetuallysarah.com/uploaded_images/JessicaSimpson_NickLachey_273x400-771805.jpeg

I meant "rouge" as in red.

#91 - I like either way, but she looks better natural, somewhere inbetween those two weighs, and probably not "trying so hard" to look like someone else. She needs to find a personality.

@77-

Yikes, you scare me. Really, what the hell is wrong with your face? And your hair? I need eye bleach...STAT! I'm no fucking supermodel, but I look a hell of a lot better than you, if I looked like you, I sure as hell wouldn't go around advertising it....

she does resemble anna nicole here. maybe a cross between ANS and her dead son? then you get both the big ass and the small depressed penis.

How can anyone even think of comparing Jessica Alba with this Simpson chick? Alba is a 10 while Simpson is more like a 2.

aww jessica! no matter how fat or skinny she is...shes beautiful...die hard fan <3

MEAN??? Yeah, your being mean. When you can look in the mirror and see perfection, then and only then can you make such an asinine comment. It's people like you that are responsible for Nicole Richie looking like a walking bag of bones. It's people like you that are responsible for the young girls starving themselves and models being so skinny that they are dead!

meh - she's still hot