Jan 22 2007Jessica Biel shows off her bikini butt

First!

First

Second!

wow. she's hot!

That third picture from the back makes her look....masculine. To anyone wanting to tap that, I say tap at will, but watch out for a strap-on.

Nice Spine, while she's being done from behinde you can look all her shoes hanging from that skeletal shoerack.

That dude's hot! And all-around hot, the real total package (she might even have a package). I bet she can squat more than most guys in the gym. She can out-bench them for sure. The pictures make my dick hard and my sphincter tighten - talk about the anxiety of being in love (or fear of anal pain, I'm not sure which).

S/he looks like a young Val Kilmer. Except way tougher.

I'd love to tap that ass. With this butch bitch, it'd be against her will, but that only makes it hotter. Guys know what I'm talking about.

She could use about 6lbs.

Want to touch the heinie..........

@8....yup there's a little Kilmer there circa Top Secret, but also, she looks like Josh Hartnett,

if Josh Hartnett were a man that is.

my goodness...

why do I always confuse her with Jessica Alba? maybe its the first name..

There is just something about her that never adds up. I remember in my youth watching 7th heaven, i eventually had to stop when in my dreams her head would morph into the lil white dog(crap, did i just confess?). then that dog would do things to me, horrid,horrid things in my sleep---tear. yup, she gives me chills.

her shoulders are about 10 inches wider than her hips, not hot. Whats up with her butt in these pics it doesn't look as plump as it does when she dresses up. I guess booty cushion is her best friend?

... and I'm gay!

somehow richport i would have thought otherwise

I was going to say the same thing about her ass cushioning

I was hoping to start the week with a post about a white hetero person, but one out of two ain't bad. At least she has the decency to stay deep in the closet.

I'm not jealous of her manly shoulders or protruding vertebrae, but I am definitely jealous of her firm round ass!

Also, she pings all over the place. So I'm sure guys who already find her hot will have their heads explode whenever they find out she's a lesbian.

Dear Mischa Barton: See? Cellulite is not universal.

My day is made!!!

What is she-carved out of a slab of golden-bronze marble? She is a buttery-smooth superhero.

Yes-upon a second inspection, that IS the Justice League speedboat. I knew it.

That is a keen observation and I do believe you're correct. Please subscribe me to your newsletter.

Hi, Peter!

He is very sexy, but since I'm not gay I'd rather tap the green bikini gal.

19--Good morning to you fake jrzmommy. You're up and at 'em awfully early this morning. Did the "voices" wake you up again?

Why do her tits look screwed and bolted on?

She's definitely a dude. Shoot,look at her her two gigantic balls in the last 4 pics.

Sorry, but the rack in the bikini doesn't look as big as the one in the P.Daddy photo from Friday. Something is rotten in Denmark - damn WonderBra's!!

Mr. Fish, please list an address where I can forward my dry cleaning bills to you. I've torn through yet another zipper. And I had this one reenforced with kryptonite, to no avail. Many thanks.

#28 - Did you every notice that the word 'awfully' is an anagram for FU Wally? Wierd how that works...

#17 - Trust your instincts... someone's got a raging hard on the size of a rice grain for me...

I notice it NOW! And you are so right.

What a fatty. She should really stop eating.

I think there's some confusion because pics of Jessica have been mixed here with archival pics of East German olympic swimmer Kornelia Ender (note the steroid-enhanced musculature in the deltoid and trapezius regions).

her ass brings me to tears.

and, doing a quick check, she seems scoliosis and kyphosis free.

Hi Donald Rack!

her buns could really use my hotdog right about now- give her a good piece of meat to fill her up right!!

Thirty-ninth!!!!!!!!

... hehe

It does appear that she has scoliosis, as her back is all pinned up to make it straight. Which would explain those pictures about a month or so ago of her doing exercises outside, throwing the ball up against the wall, and bending her legs. All on the doctor's order I'd surmise.

I am so sick and tired of seeing these hot celebs in bathing suits getting SUNTANS, and I'm in the Pacific NW freezing my ASS off in 3 feet of snow!!!

I know I said before that I didn't know who this chick is, but I finally remember. I loved her in Flashdance!!!

The fact that this site continues to post pornography in plain view for kids to see has prompted me to co-found a new organization I call CLAMP (Christian Legion Against Media Pornography). Many people have left their old places of worship and have joined CLAMP to stop disgusting posts and images in media. They have realized I am in direct communication with the Lord and will lead them straight up to heaven. Amen, and I have REPORTED! this site once again.

With Jessica Alba's anorexic body looking more and more like that of a pre-pubescent boy's, I think it's official:

Jessica Biel now has the best ass in Hollywood.

We rap all the time.
Oh, we are so good at rapping!
Who wants to mess with us?
You'll totally get shot with a gun!

Boo- boo- boopidy - boop - boop di doo!

We rap all the time.
Oh, we are so good at rapping!
Who wants to mess with us?
You'll totally get shot with a gun!

Boo- boo- boopidy - boop - boop di doo!

Sorry for the double post....

Yo, check my style out...

What a fancy shindig,
There are some real bodacious babes!
They see our soggy trunks!
And they shake their boobies, and my thingie gets excited!
Boo-boo-boodily boo-boo-boo,
Doodily-doop-de-doop-de-doo doo...

Sometimes a man must spelunk in a valley between perfect hills.

You can start by CLAMPing my schlong Edna.

#48 Reported!

You are on thin ice.

i'm a little worried, that pic has been up a long time...she might have to pinch off her midday loaf...ruins the mood...or does it?

Hey, Edna..........report THIS *drops trou*

Edna,

The Lord called.....he says if you don't shut the fuck up, he's going to stick it in your big fat pimply ass!!!

Sorry guys, but if you view the top picture in super-high resolution, you can see that she has a tiny tatoo on her butt that says "Innies Only."

Hey, Edna, zip it before I send Lesbianesque and DanYELL over to your house.

Edna's trying to figure out how to report a really bony ass.

I have seven names and counting that I'm going to fax to Homeland Security, who else wants on the list?

Edna- if I send you a picture of my delicious manaconda, will you send that to Homeland Security? I honestly would love softly nibble on your cooter.

EDNA???? You cock-loving waist-titted sex pistol... how the fuck are you? I have family that works for DHS in the Ethnic Asshole Trauma and Miscommunicated Efforts committee (aka EATME). EATME has decided that your rants may well be accurate and are requesting to play tonsil hockey with my nutsack to prove whether or not your complaints are vaild. You know the old addage: you have to give some head to get ahead.

OOH! ME! Put me on your list, Edna!!

We did it again Jrz...

We did!!

I dunno but why didn't the dog of Gisele Bundchen hump this bulldog?Maybe it's not mate-season yet?

#56 Edna- Ooooh! Let me guess who's reported.....
1- Rich's Troll 2- Rich 3- jrz's Troll 4- jrz 5- Any of the Big Cocked ones like Barbado, BigJim or Papa 6- DanYELL and lastly of course......
7- The Race Mixers like TNB Alerts, James and justme.

-The Smartest PrettyBaby to Ever Live.

#42, 49

Look Ed, I can deal with your condescending attitude towards Christianity by making blatantly untrue stories of your association with (insert random Christian action group) and even buy into your expected "free speech" retort to this, but you continue threatening our posters with some sort of pseudo-legal action, and you're going too far. If you have a problem with us (all of us) here and what subject matter is discussed, then report it to http://www.anticlown.com/contact.php

Otherwise, get off of mommy's computer and go to your room.

#56 - Are YOU on the list..?

#41 Jennifer beales was Flashdance.

Edna Bambrick is actually Edna Pringle. She did not co-found CLAMP, she forced her way into the organization years after it was founded by Jonathan Christian Webster. Check her myspace at
http://www.myspace.com/ednapringle

This really is her. She is exactly what I thought she'd be- a fat fucking loud mouther Jesus freak. Fuck you Edna Pringle, you make me ill.

I'm already on their list, Edna.

I can't fly or buy a gun but that's okay. I can still drive a car and buy knives.

Go here for more Edna charm:

http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/archive/index.php/t-9121.html

Seriously, the Edna show reminds me of one a former galpal of mine had going on at Tabletalk at Salon.com in the mid-to late 90's- as Bertha Marvelo, she of the asshole fixation and "my sweet little pets" talk. All penned by a very unattractive skeleton-like woman from Canada. [god's honest truth, most of these successful online personas are penned by shut-ins...yours truly notwithstanding] Barfo! People at TT ate that shit up [er, strictly in a manner of speaking]. Edna's persona isn't quite up to Bertha's level of sheer sexual repugnance or Jackass like hilarity......but carry on, Edna. It still works....

anyway, re Jessica Biel's body. Pulease! I'd trade her body for mine in a menopausal second! Not a dollop of cellulite on that ass and body. And as a bonus, no fake titties. She wasn't half bad in The Illusionist either quite frankly. Looked great at the Golden Gonnad Awards and even with that hint of butch going on, still a remarkable looking chick all around. I'd hit it but she'd probably think I was her Mom or something and of course, I'm not a lesbanian anyway.....

#64, REPORTED! I'll REPORT to whoever I please.

Edna - make sure that your report is typed, double spaced, with margins no greater than one inch sides and bottom, with top margin no greater than two inches, and at least three pages but no more than five in length.

Then do us all a favor and CLAMP both sets of lips together. BTW - you're not also a member of SPECTRE, are you?

One more thing, Edna, you phony religious nutbag. Check your Bible - only one human being will ever lead anyone straight up to heaven. By only one name can anyone be saved.
And that name is NOT Edna. However, hell is full of people named Edna, who thought that they were doing the right thing. Edna Pharisee. Edna Sadducee. And coming soon, Edna Bambrick/Pringle.

Find a hobby or something, will ya'?

Wow, that Edna. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!!!

Cheer up, honey, tomorrow's a new day. (And God will still hate you then.)

I would like to thank Sweet Dear Lord Baby Jesus and Superfish for posting more Jessica as of recent.

Now...if you could just get Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and maybe Jessica Simpson all in one pick bending over in bikini's, my life will be complete!

I can be reincarnated as one of their tampon's!
(Jessica Simpson...not so much)

Oh, and re: post #71......I'm reporting YOU to the retard police! It's WHOMEVER not "whoever", you cunt.

Papa,

thank you so much for your kind post. I have just visited Edna Pringle's myspace page. What a delight!

My favorite sentence so far is as follows: "Have no excepting of pornografy, it was brot here by the devil and it is evadense of it back a thousand years!"

She says No Thanks! to hate and sin!

I say No Thanks to illiteracy. My 6 year old has a firmer grasp of grammar and spelling than this twat.

Regards,

Mrs. T

Edna's AFK right now. That 12oz glass coke bottle she was riding to ecstasy actually got suctioned onto her flabby old cervix, and she had to go to the ER so they could pull it off.

Jessica Alba's ass is 10x better than hers. Her shoulders and ripped arms are disgusting. Stop working out so damn much jessica, theres a such thing as overkill.

My favorite Edna-ism on her myspace...."educacon (sic) is a serpent of SATAN that will rap (sic) around you and strangel (sic) all pure goodnes (sic) out of you!"

Spelling is for the DEVIL!

What the hell IS that? Looks like two bowls of mashed potatoes. The bitch does a million squats and lunges on public sidewalks, and her "ass" turns out like THAT? That's not even an ass, that's two pieces of flat, toasted flesh.

She probably slides out of a chair when attempting to sit down.

THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!
THAT'S A MAN!!!

#81 - Stop licking the fucking monitor... just because you spend half the day at the library doesn't automatically make the shit yours. And don't you know you can get one hell of a shock? I mean you should be more caref... wait... one second thought, proceed.

#81.

Please point out any humor in your latest post. I've failed to detect any. Oh wait, there it is.

"Richport"....(hahahaha) Good one.

@ 82

If she's aman, then I'm on my way to Sweden for that operation, baby...

@ 75

If that were to happen, the Cosmos just migt come to an end (no pun intended). Certainly, every hetero man with Internet access would stop all activity, save for drooling and the required...excuse me...

DanYELL is so fucking lame, she now busts on herself. Well, it's about time you see the light.

Seriously Jrz,

Go raise your bastards and get the hell off your grandmother's computer. She bought that thing with her own retirement check, get off your lazy ass and get a job so you can own a computer too. Freeloader.

Yeah...if this were one of those "pornographic" sites, I'd probably describe what I would do to Jessica.
BUUUUUTTTTTTT...
Since it's not, I'll just say that it would involve Edible Gels and Pastries. OH...and Cornbread...you know...just incase SHE wanted something to eat!

She looks like a powerlifting turbo dyke from behind.

What is it, jessica biel week or some shit?

#83 - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
*gasps for air*
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
*endures pain of sides splitting*
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

My God - there was so much humor in that post that even your average house plant would start laughing.
Anyone who didn't detect the funny in #83 should surely do society a favor and off themselves right now. Thank you.

Too bad her personality is so bland. She can't project anything when she acts. Maybe she should just project her rear-end, it seems to work OK.

She has a nice ass and a nice face. She's fine.

She is way overrated. Just look at those pointy knees !

I think she is attractive for a butch lesbian. She needs to put the weights down and concentrate on the cardio.

She has a better butt than JLo.

honest comment... I thought celebrities didn't sunbathe cuz it's bad for the skin?!?!

THAT SPINE IS WHACK. I WOULD STILL BANG HER THOUGH. MISSIONARY.

Ok, granted she does have a bit of a butch thing going on, and yes, I agree with #95 - bit more cardio.

But I would still trade places with her in a heartbeat - being scrawny is equally unattractive...

Let's stop with all these 'roid raged celebs it might give the normal women ideas. Shit in 2006 its a woman speaker of the house, 2008 a woman president, all the while K-Fed getting custody of the kids and getting Britney's money...at this rate by 2010 all men will be getting breast implants and squatting over the urinals wondering why they were ever invented.

One more comment: I had to point out the fact that in pic #2 she looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Junior."

and what's so amazing about that!??:))

DanYELL, what you wrote to me in post #88 has had me laughing my head off for hours--hours I tell you. All that edumacation is paying off as you get more and more original each day. Your progress makes me feel like a parent who watches their retarded kid put their boots in their pants and not in their mouth for the first time. Keep up the good work, Sasquatch.

I love every inch. Now time to go to some squats and lunges.

She's luscious.

What I would give to be the captain of that love boat...

What the HELL is it about ppl and feeling oh so cool about postin' "FIRST" (or "Second") how completely mentally gay and lame is that? Get a life.

And the whole Fat thing? Come on. do you honestly come here just to "throw" that "out there" because that's the most wittiest crude comment you can think of?

106--spoken like a fatty who came in third, if ya ask me!

#106 - What the fuck is ppl???? Adults write in English.

well, i'd say that stalking her for two weeks for that was totally worth it

Fuck any and all haters.

This is the hottest woman around these days.

Y'all wish, including you, Mr. Faggety-ass boyband guy, that you could hit it as hard and as well as I would.

Fuck off.