Jan 18 2007Hugh Hefner might become oldest person father ever

FIRST!

Oh, come on, jrzmommy. Not you too.

Couldn't he be a great grandfather to the youngest of these bimbos? Could his dry old sack still be fertile? Can a giant Viagra pill even do the job?

this man is gross and these women are gold digging whores at the end of the day. He should not be allowed to have more children, if it was an 80 year old woman wanting to produce there would be an outcry. SICK BURK.

C'mon, #2, you know I don't do gay shit like that. My buddy R&R is here today. Gonna be lots of gay shit with my name on it.

anyhoo, back to Hef, between the old sperm, viagra and countless chemicals floating around any of the potential mothers, Downs Syndrome is the least of the worries here.

When I was growing up, I had sex with a guy Hef's age lots of times. Grandpa didn't have much stamina, but he sure knew what to do! He was second only to Dad.

If this guy can ejaculate anything but dust at this point I will be sincerely surprised.

As an avid viewer of The Girls Next Door (sad, yes, I know)I can say that Holly seems to honestly love Hef. The other two treat him like he's their creepy grandpa who kisses them a little too long but they don't mind 'cause he gives the best birthday presents.

Forget the fact that this is "disgusting." How selfish is this bitch? She wants to bring children into the world with a man who is certain to die VERY soon? It's just not right. In fact, I think it's cruel. Their kids will never know their father, and if Hef does last another 10 years or so, his young children will have to watch him deteriorate and die. I don't get it...

I don't even want to know what his rusty, old, hairy, shriveled dick looks like...and if he were to have sex with any one of those girls, I really really really feel bad for their va-jay-jays...EEEEK!

Holly has been trying to convince Hef that they should have a child forever. This is not a huge shock if you ask me. Just as long as Kendra is not the mother... that is one dumb, ugly, retarded laughing, wigger, glow in the dark haired bitch!

#5
Sorry, doll. I assure you that I did give you the benefit of the doubt. I never actually detected sarcasm in a "FIRST" posting before.

Jesus. How can these girls bob up and down on the Crypt-Keeper like that? He must be blowing pure graveyard dust by now.

I'm just kidding. I log in under other people's names and write dumb stuff about them so you guys all think it's really that person writing dumb stuff about themselves! I'm so original and funny that way. Afterall, I am 20 and I know all there is to know. Yeah, that's me, young, dumb and full of cum! *snort snort*

@Rock and Roll #13- I like to do that too! And I like 20 year old girls. Wanna fuck? I hope you like your women built like brick shit houses because I am a lotta woman! YES I AM!!!

Can you say Viagra baby?

#7 - ROFLMAO

I'm just really sorry I read this story during lunch.

7 I was thinking the exact same thing

WHAT kind of ISSUES must you have as a young beautiful girl to think that HH is hot? I mean, is it his sagging ass cheeks or his liver spotted dick that does it for you??

I mean his skin is practically falling OFF!!

I am all for Hef doing whatever the fuck he wants. HEF IS A GOD.

#18 -- hef isn't hot physically, it is fairly obvious that the reason women find him attractive is his POWER, and $$$$$.

look, don't start hating on how they are gold digging whores. there's not a straight man alive that doesn't wish he had enough gold to get some whores like these to move in and fuck him on demand.

holly just wants to make sure she's taken care of when he's gone. the rest of the girls will probably leave with what's on their backs which is nothing but rug burn scars from getting banged by montgomery burns all these years.

Someone should chop that old fool's dick off.

maria sharapova's arm is fucked up at crabbie's

who's the ugly scank in the middle?

Then they can arrest him for child abuse Minority Report-style.

"I cut back a little. I thinned the herd."
Grandpa thinks he's a real stud, the arrogant, delusional fuck. I guess he thinks it's his chiseled face and devastating wit -- not his money -- that gets to babes.

He'll reincarnate as a butt boy turning tricks in Thailand for wealthy Europeans on their "erotic cruise" vacations.

@17...Just imagine the little sputtering, *poof*-like noise it makes, and the room filling up with dust like when a vaccuum cleaner bag busts. The girls are coughing, fanning the air around their faces...classic.

Foreskin? More like FLOORskin the saggy old bastie

Gross. Grosser than the viscous fluids that seep from Paris Hilton's infected vag, mixed with the pubic lice living in Tara Reid's moustache. GROSS.
I also don't get why this guy is a "God". So he stuck his shriveled weiner inside a whole lot of girls with low self-esteem, like that's difficult.

So, if a baby is actually conceived and born would it come out middle aged since Hef's so old?

Sandy! Mandy! Come hold daddies pee pee up so he can stick it in Brandy. And bring my hearth medication for god's sake. What are you? Bimbos?

Hef's had a stroke already, so by the time Candy or Brandy or whatever the fuck her name is splurts out the next instant millionaire, Daddy and Junior can have drooling contests. Think of all the money they'll save on expensive dinners as they'll both be on baby food. Junior can aspire to fill Hef's diaper.

You just have to know that Christie Hefner, who now actually runs the company, would rather do her father herself in prime time on the Playboy channel, than split her inheritance yet again with more "siblings". For the longest time it was half of everything with her brother. Then Hef had to marry what's-her-name Playmate of the year, and split the half into a quarter. She's not going to be happy about bringing it down to just 20%.

Besides, having kids when you're 80 is just obscene! If you have that much spare time, plan your funeral, go for tailoring sessions for more silk pajamas, mix a little ecstasy in with your Viagra, have an afternoon 3-way with the girls from the Seniors center, have poker parties with all your 70+ ex-B-list Hollywood star buddies ... but for the love of God man, don't have another kid.

Haven't anyone noticed?This is Hugh signal to me (morsecode).He tells me:"Take blondines not too smart with big titties.Put the one with the biggest titties on your right side and put the one with the greatest neckled on you left side.Put the one which is not most smart near the booze.So she can give you your favorite drink on time.Thanks for your caring Hugh.Have you start your cleansing-proces yet?

Then the mother will have two diapers to change: Hugh's and the baby's.

Great. Now his buxom baby mama will have TWO sets of diapers to change, but only one of them will reek of digested foie gras and brand name medication.

DAMN YOU #33!!! DAMN YOUR QUICKER TYPING SKILLS!!!

lots of men can ejaculate and reproduce in their senior years, women stop ovulating sooner, that's not the prob

the problem is that he has already had a stroke, and does not show signs of being able to live to the kid's high-school graduation, at which he would be at least 98 years old
(pause for snickering and chuckle)

so a gold-digger will legally get a large share of his money, and likely spend it on plastic and injections not the child's welfare, and he will be long gone

no parental role models
no emotional support
no fucking nothing

if you believe in the traditional-marriage two-parent raise-kids bullshit paradigm, that's the problem

and for the record, even perfect 10 is better than playboy now, fried-yellow hair and ridiculous plastic bulbs are very distracting

hey Hef! : more girls-next-door, less Darth Sweden

but Hefner is iconic, he was one of the primary reasons the sexual revolution went mainstream
his magazine isn't worth shit anymore but at one time it established a standard

#29 - ROTFLOL.

For those of you who think an 80 year-old man is unworthy of sexual love: at what age do you intend to hang up your spurs to avoid grossing the rest of us out? Just wondering.

time to cue up the gay porn!
http://club.cdfreaks.com/showthread.php?t=104920

#37 80 is worthy of sexual love but not of prancing around and talking like he's a stud because he's got some gold-digging silicone jockies who are willing to letting him stick his winky in them.

Saggy ass cheeks!

#39 Hmmm. Thanks for playing but you didn't answer the question.

Julio Iglesias' father, ie, Enrique Iglesias' grandfather IS THE OLDEST FATHER in the world...

He had two children when he was 90 and 88!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, it's already been said several times before, but the implication that HH is a god because he can get younger women to hump him is a denial of logic, reality, common sense, etc. If HH was a retired bus driver living on a tiny pension who could still get 25 year olds, THEN he'd be a stud. But he's a rich, old, famous guy. I'm sure those chicks have affection for him, but if he wasn't rich, they wouldn't touch any part of him, much less consider having his offspring. They'd step over his dead body to get to a rich guy. And the "thinned the herd" comment... so chivalrous. That Hugh really is a sweetheart. No wonder whatsherface wants to have his baby. Wouldn't want those genetics to die off.

And props to: "If this guy can ejaculate anything but dust at this point I will be sincerely surprised." Hilarious.

Oh, come now. You're asking me to believe that some women will do anything - for money. I just can't believe that.

@#37 Nothin wrong with him havin sex at ANY age but with a woman who'll only do it cos hes rich and could be his great granddauhter? uhuh! and her having a baby - double uhuh.

I agree, nothing wrong with sex at any age, Americans are too hung up on that. For example, my girls are already starting (with dad) and they say they look forward to it every night.

Oh my gosh its an incest joke what ever will I do I have been trolled by someone here on the superficial oh my i am in shock i am amazed at how original that is whoever could it be oh no now I shall cry all the way home and never leave the house again boo hoo.

Besides it's just a little fingering at bathtime, big fucking deal.

Holly wants a secure future with huge $$$$$$ for child support. Love? I think not.

If he was a smart man then he'd marry the gold digger after he got her to sign a pre nup with inclusions in it in case they did some how manage to reproduce a mini heff. If she gets preggies to him now with out a pre nup then she'd be laughing all the way to the bank.

#42 - Julio Iglesias is 64 years old - http://www.julioiglesias.com/mainen.htm

#42 - MY BAD. Sorry. I didn't read it properly...

I had something witty to say, but now all I can think of is Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Not only is it gross enough to think of that old piece of leather with those three bimbos, but now I have the image of them breeding! D':

A wealthy 80 year old man who lusts for buxom blondes?

DING-DONG!

"Hi! My name is Anna Nicole Smith and I want to marry you!

He spurts dust.

#28 soooooooo fucking funny!

holly is really resourceful. he keeps ignoring the baby issue, but eventually he'll get so senile that he'll say yes to anything. he's already blubbering about how holly is "the one." for a man his age, that's crazy-talk.

well done, holly.

too bad for his magazine that the mainstream still thinks in such simple concepts as "pure" "mom" and "skank." only orange skanks with fake tits and white hair will pose.

wake up, america! children aren't pure, mom's aren't holy, and momming it won't de-skankify, and not all skanks are skanks!

Will the baby have a bunny ears logo birthmark that will be hard to find?

He reminds me of George Burns, without the comedic timing and ability to laugh at himself.

(#41 I'm not playing, actually... I don't think there's an answer. it happens when it happens_)

He's not so much a god as he is a conniving old coot who managed to lure a bunch of brainless bimboes into putting up with so much BS that he freely refers to his girlfriends as a "herd" and they don't so much as bat an eye. In reality, would any young guy really want to trade places with him? Yeah, who wouldn't want to be a crusty old fart with countless sycophantic moronic women hanging around just waiting like vultures to take all your money.

@4

Hell Yeah, these bitches are just gold digging useless peices of shit humans who aren't worth a pimps dollars....

And for Hugh he's all talk and no balls, can't wait for when he keels over into a trench

Why stop with Holly? Why not impregnate all three, and give each child a smaller inheritance based on the status of their mother? The youngest shall have a coat of many colors, and the oldest will be mistakenly ousted from primacy by a trick encouraged by the "brainy" one in favor of the middle child, and be forever dedicated as a castrato slave to the Franciscan brothers. Or something like that...

@28 That is pure gold.... nearly wet myself.... thanks for that

so no one is going to mention the fact that his 3 twenty five year old bimbo girlfriends are prostitutes--you know have sex for live and board

yeah that's what my mind can't wrap itself around them thinking that they're not doing something that's bad. The concept is fantastic it might as well be...hmmmm...well...actually prostitution being televised on t.v. pretty much fascinates me completely

You can say what you want, but this old fucker gets to drain his shriveled nuts in something like that anytime he wants, and never the same shit twice.

You just can't hate on Hugh...imfuckingpossible.

hey alex- even one person is never the same twice. if you insist that's not the case, which i'm sure you would, since SOMETHING HAS to persist about a person, then consider that they all look like clones, and in his early stages of dementia, he probably can't tell them apart. so, he gets the same shit all the time.

Dude...to this day I can't see that old man having sex on those girls..or sex with anyone.

I am not a fan, but it shall be interesting to see what happens to Playboy when "Hef" passes on.

He's way past his bedtime.

Ah, well... it just goes to show that even though money can't buy happiness, it can buy you a herd *cough* of Las Vegas rejects who'll tell you anything you want 6to hear as long as you keep paying for their tanning sessions and bikini wax.

holly has always reminded me of gwen stefani.

WAIT. i thought he already had a son.. i could have sworn he did. and his son wanted to be like a computer designer and he was like 13..

ok never mind. i shouldnt have said that,

Hefner already has four children from two marriages, including 54-year-old Christie Hefner, who's chairman and CEO of Playboy Enterprises.

I love Hugh. He can do whatever he pleases.

ok, how they even gonna bullshit. they love him for his money. you mean to tell me if an average old guy came up to a smokin hot blonde and even started trying to pick her up, she wouldnt be all "EWWWWW!!"? they cant even front like its true love. bitch is smart, get that money ho, you be ridin ferrari in no time with that ass

Don't be a pussy Hef, get them all knocked up. Plus make sure you get them to sign off on any rights to the kids after you are dead in the next year or two. That way we would REALLY remember you. Especially if these 3 bimbo's birthed 3 more bimbo's that could be exploited in...say 14 years?

Hef a god? Not likely. He's Joe Francis circa 1950. Those 3 skanks are prostitutes willing to bang old man ass for the money and attention. Except one of them is thinking about the future. She knows as soon as Hef kicks the bucket (any day now), she'll be out on her ass like James Brown's girlfriend and she wants a little insurance (kid) for the future. They all deserve each other. And so do freaks who idolize that shriveled old prune.

HAHHA YOU TELL THEM #77, BUT I'D STILL LIKE TO FUCK KENDRA.

All I can say is these three are only after one thing. CHA-CHING!!! If Holly has his baby, this will definitely secure her future, don't cha think? I guess a guy at his age is damn lucky to get it up, and if she has to grin and bear it for a few seconds, ughh....never mind, the thought's just too damn repulsive.

yeah, like we need more of his genes floating around

The only thing I didn't like about this story was Hef's referring to the women as the "herd". As for Holly and Hef having a child? Hef is an intelligent,brilliant,interesting man. If Holly where only after a rich man, I'm sure she could have her pick of many. As for how long Hef will be around? Maybe tomorrow, maybe twenty or thirty years. If Holly had picked a man her own age, what guarantee is there that he wouldn't go tomorrow? None, of course, age is irrevelant here. Holly obviously loves him. I know the show(The Girls Next Door) is a success. However Hef says the love he and Holly have is a miracle and I'm sure he's right. In times like these, what a joy to find someone you can be that happy with. Embrace it, do the right thing. I'm heard so much about Hef's morals and his outlook on family and how he really is an old fashioned and traditional man. So, this woman Hef professes to love so deeply? Do the right thing. Marry her and have all the children you want and will be lucky enough to be blessed with. Age is truly just a number. Good luck Hef and Holly and God bless you both.