First!!!

Ha, Ha! Sucks to be you guys. We sent that stupid bitch Celine Dion down there and now the limeys are sending these two fuckwits.

Just goes to show that shit attracts flies.

Seriously, you guys are mostly okay. It's just your fascist government that's fucked up.

Enrique has a small penis.

Yeah..."American Futbol" is a real step up from what he's used to. Now he can deal with half-full stadiums and indiferent fans while his piece-of-shit, talentless wife sucks coc...I Mean Looks For Work!!!

I knew that one day with enough hard work, perseverance, and a little luck, I would one day reach the pinnacle of superficial commenting and be first to post.

I'd like to thank all my family, my agent, my lovely wife, and most importantly my fans for sticking with me through several failed attempts to be first and my subsequent comments that usually consisted of outbursts of profanity and declarations of "I'd do her" in some form or other.

This is the start of a great new year!!!

Oh, and I'm pretty sure it would take very few beers before I'd do her;)

"I'm a little tea pot short and stout here is my handle now where is my spout..."

WTF is she wearing since when does that become attractive...

Easy now BigJim... you might start a riot over here

C'mon now SlimJim, that wasn't very nice, now was it?

Now that she'll be in LA, she and Paris need to combine forces for the ultimate porn adventure: Big Willy, The Wonka Eye, and the Scrawny Oompa Loompa. They just need to find someone to play the part of Big Willy. Richport, are you available?

#7 - If you want nice, go to a Britney Spears fan site. We only know sarcasm and anger here.

Does this crazy bitch ever change her hairstyle? Seems like every pic I've seen of her in the last 6 months has been the same, except for some goofy clothes. The one she's got went out when Bill & Hilary left the White House.

I hope that this pic just had bad lighting and that she really isn't walking around with one leg more orange than the other.

nnnooo

We'll take her hubby, though. :)

Makes sense. If Posh wants to wear dresses like that, this is the place. She has to become anorexic and start talking to herself though. They are the perfect accessories.

I saw a toilet paper dispenser that looked like that once. true story.

I didn't know you can make this much,just with soccer.Back in my days after you scored you got a few beers for free back in the mobile canteen of the club.

that is the silliest god dammed dress I've ever seen in my life.

i think that this might be good. lets wait and see

www.carpemundus.com - optimistic

Btw how come he has green eyes?

Great, just great. Now we're going to be bombarded with pictures of this worthless, unsmiling twit and her ridiculous clothes shopping in Beverly Hills or Malibu. I understand the Brits love her; what will she do when us American's don't swoon all over her? She's gonna be whining to go back to England.

In the words of my testosterone-influenced brothers, I'd hit it. Him, that is. Her, you can put on the top of a music box, since that dress looks utterly ridiculous.

We don't really give a shit much about soccer over here, so WTF?

I'm going to get myself hired as a contractor on the house they buy and implant little stereo systems that will play at a frequency only picked up by HIM and the message will be "Ditch the stick. Ditch the stick. Ditch the stick."

He's a well-paid celebrity, and he's going to trade that to become a nobody with more money? Nobody gives a damn about soccer in the States. What a fool.

the only reason he is coming to LA is because all the other european teams dont think hes worth the money hes demanding. beckham's game isnt what it used to be and european teams arent willing to pay so much money for a now has-been football player.

that and the beckhams have been trying to spread their fame to the US but have failed miserably. i guess in their desire to sate their egos theyve decided to move to the US. i hope pauly shore ends up being more well known than these two after a few months...

fine, whatever, he's not worth the money, yaddah yaddah yaddah..........I'll still fuck him.

and he can bring that hot little Italian piece of ass team mate Fabio Cannavaro with him, too. I'll do him when I"m done with Becks.

#2 Big Jim, Remind me again about Canada's position on immigration? Oh thats right, it's a scoring system and you get points for having a college degree, speaking French owning property etc... so you keep out all the rabble. Kinda elitist fascist sounding isn't it. ;) Don't think all of us down here are ignorant of Canada. We've been WAITING to get you guys back for Corey Hart, Loverboy, and that coffee flavored chocolate bar!

Whooops, almost forgot my comment about these two.

Ok, nice to know a fading soccer star can still come to the U.S. we're like the Hollywood Squares of Soccer, all the has beens end up here. Secondly....and this is a serious question. Does this bitch look at herself before she leaves the house? I'm not even refering to her body which makes her look like a pissed off starving scarcrow, thats a given, but what the fuck is she wearing? It looks like something you'd give a 9 year old really really tacky third world girl for her first communion, same size too.

Seriously, that woman is so outside reality it is bizarre.

Spindoc:

Don't forget to fire bomb a church that conducts gay marriages on your way home. Afterwards, you can tour a prison filled with folks who like to smoke the occasional joint.

Then, if you've still got the energy, go invade a sovereign nation or two.

George Bush Loves The Cock!

What the fuck is she wearing? The saddest thing about her outfit is that she probably paid half a mill to look that stupid.

#12 - I believe you because my grandma has one in her bathroom.

Shhhhhh----just stare at David and everything will be okay.......see, you guys, it's all better now that David is here.

just wait.....in less than a year into his season with the Galaxy, Beckham will realize how little the U.S. cares about soccer, and how empty the stands are, and he'll go crying back to England, begging Manchester United to take him back.

Cool1 Now, whoever their lucky new neighbors are can use her for their Hallowe'en skeleton. Fashionable *and* neighborly.

#2 go fuck urself sideways with a razor blade. Celine for one aint even on the same screwed up page as sum of these twats. How dare u offend Dion on this supposed homosexual page, HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU. Removes tampon and throws at the dumb fuck. Bitch!

They must have seen the sun for the first time sometime on vacation.

I remember being 8 years old, thinking that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Now she's just so fake.
QUIT RAPING MY CHILDHOOD, POSH!
D:

I think this woman is an actual robot. Really, ahve you ever seen anything that looks remotly flexable on her?

I'd hit it. Victoria that is.

#26, Hmmm, please name me which church it was that was firebombed, considering I've been a few gay weddings down here and seem to have emerged unscathed. Oh but wait, that would require you to know what you were talking about instead of merely spouting out unsupported rhetoric. While we're at it, how many baby seals have your hunters clubbed today? Any more Indian Tribes protesting against your government? Oh and lets not forget the crime in your cities that is several times higher than the major cities down here. The fact that Canada has higher reported rates than the United States for breaking and entering, motor vehicle theft and arson sure makes it sound nice, friendly, peaceful and all that touchy feely crap. No why don't you go kill me a seal and try not to get your house burned down by some roving arsonist before you get it to me. Or would you prefer I ask you in French?

She is clearly his beard.

How come that stupid anorexic chick is wearing Sarah Jessica Parker's dress?

And Beck'em, he ain't worth 250 million playing on any club.
I don't know who's writing those checks. How the mighty English captain has fallen.

And please don't mention Cannavaro's name in the same post. The man is about as close to God's act of perfection on earth in the last World Cup.

Forza Italia!

I can smell the tanning spray on her all the way through my computer screen.

I like her because she pretty much does what she wants and dress how ever the hell she feels. You guys get so worked up about it. haha.
David Beckham is rather hot though, never really noticed it much before.

My only comment is about that dress; the only thing that it reminds me of is one of those birthday cakes where you shove a Barbie doll in a pile of icing.

Spin:

Go jerk off to your picture of tub girl.

And don't piss me off or I'll crank up the Nickleback really loud.

#32 No sun....I hear her bed is an actual tanning bed.
Why does she always look plastic? Something is very fucking wrong...
Don't anyone make fun of me, but I totally LOVE that skirt. I would wear it every day. I just hate it on HER.

She acts like her life is a runway and she is a fashion icon,

she might have been,

but she is toooooo old and orange. Double o whammy.

Also ironically she still gets acne.

Tubgirl...good clean fun. As for Nickleback, go ahead, just please, any Brits in here don't pump up the volume on Coldplay...it smells like Paltrow farts.

One thing we can agree on. I once heard Coldplay referred to as "Vagina Rock."

Oh noes :(

hehehe, and everyone in Manchester just keeps on laughing... what a fucking loser.

Although the only good thing that could come of it is that it will attract more peeps to get into the real football. That and there is a chance they could die in a fiery plane crash on the way to the States.
six to one, half a dozen of the other.

So, you're telling me that soccer players actually get paid here?

They will now, digital boy. no matter how terrible they are apparently!

Fucking Beckham is a one trick pony.

Wow. Big whoop.

Salutations, Biatcho.

Great. Our Maniac-in-Chief tells us the show must go on, and now we inherit another L.A. circus clown. Is Blair somehow behind this; a shiv to our national kidney after fucking him over with the whole Iraq thing?

Life isn't a runway, Orangina

#17 seriously mate, us Brits don't love her. She's used to being hated and ridiculed. That's why she's developed that thick, orange skin.

I can't believe no one recognizes her dress. It's obviously from the Derelicte collection designed by Mugatu, which would make it somewhat dated.

Geezus, 200+ million for -one- *soccer* player? And a non-Braziian at that? Who the fuck signed the check on that one?

That's like 200+ million more then the entire worth of "Major League Soccer" to most Americans.

Of course, I mean after you explain to them what the 'Major League Soccer' is, and show them some credible proof of its existance, and everything.

oh c'mon leave it out. Us Brits who adoringly watched Beckham screw up the world cup like... three times in a row was it? Or am I losing count? He is sexy and good at his sport I'm just not buying the whole "career" move thing.
LEAVE posh alone, there are British people here and we adore our, orange, anorexic, eratic, has-so-many-children-she-doesn't-know-what-to-do, blind to her husbands MANY infidelities, bitchy, non-talented...
what was I saying again?
Oh yeah. I'm British and I love that skinny skank, leave her alone.
and stuff

*just looked properly at pic*
oh fuck yes that dress is awful!!! what the FUCK!!!

#38 Fuck Cannavaro and the rest of the bitch Italians. Talk about whiny men without balls, if there ever was a team full of them, it's the Italians.

And if I hear one more fucking American news agency refer to David Beckham as the best player in the world I think I'm going to vomit. I am down right ashamed to be from a country that's damned backwards when it comes to sports and is proud of it to boot.

#38 Fuck Cannavaro and the rest of the bitch Italians. Talk about whiny men without balls, if there ever was a team full of them, it's the Italians.

And if I hear one more fucking American news agency refer to David Beckham as the best player in the world I think I'm going to vomit. I am down right ashamed to be from a country that's damned backwards when it comes to sports and is proud of it to boot.

Im British and have to say you Americans are welcome to Victoria Beckham. she was always the Spice Girl who couldnt sing in my eyes and her so called fashion sense is awful. of recent shes been riding David Beckhams coat tails on the world stage and the only unfortunate thing is now the world will be seeing more of her :(

I'm finding it somewhat difficult to retort to some whinning bitch who calls himself Cat.

I think the Italian team will do just fine as CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!

Cannavaro would piss on Cat but it's not worth his piss.

Victoria Beckham is so pathetic. It's obvious she takes herself way too seriously, the way she never smiles and always has this "I'm on my way to somewhere important and have to give you this serious pouty expression" look on her face, as if she's scared that smiling will reveal her many wrinkles. She's obviously one of those dumbfuck women who think that their skinniness alone makes them sexy and stylish, as if they're models. If you're Alessandra Ambrosio, then yes, it works, but if you're a loser like Victoria Beckham or Nicole Ritchie, then no.

It must both be cool and suck to be David Beckham. Cool because he's getting this Chris-Webber-eque payday at the twilight of his career, and he's famous, and also suck because he has to stick his penis in Victoria's stench-oozing vag.

Where's his obviously "Beckam coupe"?Kiddies nowadays still have them.

I think Victoria is his stylist as well,what do you folks think?

I just knew that one magical, happy day we would manage to get rid of Lollipop and Ken, but I was afraid of really picturing too soon. Look at the bright side...you're going to have good laughs...Although I should warn that Vicky here-as you surely know by now-has a little tiny camera obsession while Ken is a bit...let's put it like this: his capable of a limited mental activiy. In fact there's this story going around Europe. David and Vicky are staying for some days in Beckhinham Palace(yes, this is REAL, how lame can you get???). David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Vicky asks him why he's celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"Great, hon". says Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."

Anyway, I can't really assure this is absolutely true, although there's a great chance it is. What it's surely true is that David has admitted he's not too good with computer...that's why he send his ipod to Apple to actualize it, as he doesn't know how to connect to the pc...

By the way...I'm a Spaniard, and although I'm not exactly proud to remind you, David Beckham hasn't been playing for Manchester for a while but three years for Real Madrid. Ummmm, not, I'll rephrase the comment...I'm proud to announce it because he's not warming the bench at Barcelona, which is the team I support, but at the eternal rival. By the way, I apologise for spelling mistakes. I'll take this site as a chance to improve my English...

Fuck it, i'd move to America and play "soccer" for the money he gets paid. Do you think he'll give a shit if his wife dresses like a 7 yeard old ballet dancer... no. He'll be laying on a pile of money. I like Beckham anyway, he's a good football player. It's a wise financial move in my decision. At least he'll play more and probably be the greatest ever player in "soccer" history after about 7 minutes of being on the pitch. Bitches.

Unfotunatley, footballers wives are like fembots here - you get rid of one stupid ass no brain slut and five more spring up out of nowhere - wish we could send them all to LA...

i don't think i've EVER seen this skank smile...not once. she looks like she got smacked in the face with a cast iron skillet.

It's most embarrassing. America has been making Barbie and Ken for over 40 years, and this is the best our British factories can produce?

With advances in science, you'd figure they could sort the mottling on her plasti-flesh, and what teenage girl did they use for his voice box?

I'm as ashamed as if I was personally responsible. How can dolls that size not come with more poses? More expressions? But the outfits are spot on. There's no way of making doll-sized acrylic tutus that don't stick out.

I fail to see how you can say 'how the mighty have fallen' when David has signed a deal worth $250m, in my book thats doing pretty damn well for yourself. This is not about football, us english have known for a while that Beckham isnt as good as he used to be and he is NOT the captain anymore, keep up. This is about selling the Beckham brand to a bunch of stupid 13 year old american kids who love the mary-kate and ashley range. Everyone knows if you want to make big bucks you need to target the American market... presumably because you guys will buy all sorts of crap. :P

#59--Still bitter, Zinedine?

#60 - French ancestry?

#8 - mrs. t - My willy was recovering from an all night fuck fest... there's not way it would have been able to perform for orange-halves Posh and her admitted train wreck of a body... since she's built like a little boy overall, we'll let Ass Troll handle the job. He can treat Posh like his grandpa used to treat him in their dingy basement, only without the muzzle, anal tampons and cries for mommy...

Damn...he is hot! Some little hollywood hottie is gonna snatch him up pretty quick. I'd be nervous if I was her. And SMILE for once bitch. She always looks so fucking miserable.

PS-Why are Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek so.........rubby in that picture???

#75 - You'd constantly frown too if all you could ever mutter was a nasal "oink".

he's not worth that much money. shit you couldn't pay that much money to bang his girl. sucked in to the americans for being dumb enough to pay that much for a has been and now you all get to see so much of him and that stick figure thats going to try to get that hopeless singing carrier back. Geez she sings as good as she dresses so it will be crap for sure

78--The Americans could give a fuck less, actually....it's not like our tax dollars are paying him.

is he holding her hand or did she forget to bring her guide dog. it looks like the dog forgot to tell how crap she looks

sorry to all the great guide dogs out there that are posting

I was sitting here by my pc this morning when my wife handed me the newspaper and on the front page it has this story and the first thing I thought was (wow thats nice money £500,000 a week), then that followed by clever man he know can play football more in the USA which means they will get to know him more than they do now and then he will market products in the USA and make tons more money.

#11- becomes anorexic? I'm pretty sure she already is.

I'll never understand how people get paid this much to play a sport, nevermind soccer, which isn't really THAT big of a deal here. That goes for actors as well.

75 - i think he's gay, so the hollywood hottie would have to be a dude. how could a man be attracted to THAT.

Now this is ironic! David Beckham said the exact same thing about you, Jesseeca! He said, How could a man be attracted to THAT! Just like that. This is Freaky Friday!

Youse guys are all ignorning the REAL reason this team of oranged puppets are making the big move to L.A.

Katie & Tom.

Scientology.

And a promised movie career for Beckham, who is Tom's love idol.

You all know I am 100% correct.

This is sooooo not like the Pele signing.

Pele was the greatest player of his generation.
Beckham was the most talked about but never the best. He was a fabulous free kick specialist but a mediocre midfielder.
He plays a position were he should be involved in all facets of the game but never takes over a game and he isnt as flashy or have the flair of many of the stars like Ronaldinho, Zlatan, etc. Scoring from a set piece is an art but taking three kicks during 90mins and doing nothing else isnt going to bring more people.
Beckham rarely makes you go 'Wow."

Selling soccer to americans by signing the gayest player on the planet (metrosexual) isnt gonna bring new fans.
Selling soocer by signing a player who has wet his pants in his two world cups isnt going to work.

His biggest impact will be felt in gossip mags, Leno and billboards: his soccer impact, after a brief "oh look what the cat dragged in" moment, will be negligible.

By the way, you have to listen to him talk.
Rarely has a sports personality been so horribly uncomfortable speaking in public or had the personality of a dead fish.

But in a country where illiterates like Paris Hilton and Fiddy Cents are both 'singers' and 'authors', I think its normal that they hype him up to be 'the best' player in the world.

People in america can not seem to grasp the difference between being good at something and being popular.
Sylvester Stallone was once the most popular actor in Hollywood but he never was a good actor.
This explains why we have the movie and music stars we are sold.

#81 - WTF are you talking about? Please try and use the "." in your future posts. It breaks up the monotony of your ramblings.

84, what's your point? are you defending robot Posh or David Beckham? i'm sure you'd get turned down by either one so you're just wasting your time.

TOM CRUISE LIKES BECKHAM'S GENITAL PROTRUSION, esp. when it's standing erect for the US National Anthem.

Katie and Posh can shop Beverly Hills arm-in-arm 'til they literally drop.

I also predict the onset of an eating disorder for Katie (within next 6 mos.)

Meanwhile, Tom & Becks can be back @ home screening Becks' matches in super slo-mo while gently brushing each other's thighs when reaching for the popcorn (entirely by accident, of course).

Look its Cherry 2000! So it is true...

http://imdb.com/title/tt0092746/

So hes making 250mil for this deal...

At my current salary, it would take me over 7000 years to make 250million. Is there any reason I shouldnt kill myself?

Hey folks,i'm just coming home.I've this steeringwheel around my neck and i'm carrying an exhaust-pipe.It's not quite what you may think,anybody interested in a toyota Camry?Almost like new.

Victoria Beckham is hot, who cares what she is wearing! Seriously, since when did guys because so picky that we rag on girls for their clothing? I thought it was simply our desire to get girls out of their clothing and evaluate them then? Tell you what, I'll take the naked Victoria Beckham with me, and the rest of you guys can take that dress and continue commenting on it. Cool?

uumm, Spaniard #67 - Being a hard core manchester United supporter i am fully aware that Beckham has been in Madrid for a few years now. The point being made, besides the one on the top of your head, is that he is a joke to most United supporters and that we are laughing about it.

asslick. I hope your asses get beat in the Champions League by United.

@94...We rag on her because she's a worthless stuck-up cunt.

She's also a piece of shit

David Beckham is hot. Infact, he's the only blondish/english man that I prefer. Victoria, however, is just a washed up, leather skinned whore.

All the dirty things I could do to David...mmmmmm

She dressed so fug in Britain, because they encourage that sort of thing over there. I hope she will step up her game in LA, shed the crazy-ass Brit clothes, and dress like the natives.

cratylus couldn't find your comment "nobody gives a damn about soccer in the states. What a fool" but you're famous now...your comment featured in the opinion section of the review supplement, in the british newspaper 'The Observer....

(100)Who's Beckham his agent?It must be a genius.

It may look a great amount what he's going to earn.But probarly for Victoria it's just enough for shopping for about a month.After that she wanna make a comeback with the Spicegirls again.

I think Victoria has a over-developed clit...About 4 inches long...

When i'm talking about "clit-slapping",tears are coming in the eyes of David beckham...

(104)coming up,troll...

(105)I was listening to David his interview.That's why.

I was wondering,why is Victoria dressed like a ballerina and is David not wearing tights?

In summary :

BigJim is a Canadian pussy ( forgive the oxymoron ), whose sole correct observations are limited to the indisputable facts that Coldplay and Dubya are both retarded.

Canada, and coincidentally, RichPort, are both undeniably, and incurably gay.

Beckham's got a sweet agent, and little remaining talent. Posh is a comically-dressed, well-used, orange, leather fucksack. But Enrique would do her.

In conclusion, RPLTC! "Cock, it's not just for breakfast anymore!"

62 All I have to saw to you is that Cannavaro's piss can keep to the ground where it belongs. Him and rest of the dirty slovenly excuse for the Italian soccer team can enjoy their time as world champions. It doesn't matter because when they got home their little cheating ring known as Juventus was demoted. You're OBVIOUSLY right that defending your sister's honor is much less classy than cheating. Bravo to you.

73, 74 My fiancee and I are expecting our first child in a few months and we're naming him Zinedine. Does that answer your question?

As for Posh and Becks... they won't change anything.

great couple!!

WHAT is she WEARING?

Beckham must be some kind of sorry-ass husband to let her out of the house in that insane get-up.

He is so beautiful and she looks like some sort of worried insect.

I wish those two stayed on the other side of the Alantic. Posh Spice does not have enough street-creds....K-Fed has more street-creds than her and that is not saying much. All I hope, I better see Paris Hilton all over Posh ;) -very niiice

A washed-up soccer wank and his Paris Hilton wannabe wife.

Send them back! We have enough scum (English or otherwise) in the country already.

(God, her taste in men and clothes is up her ass!)

that oompa loompa....i'm already sick of her..