Jan 12 2007Britney Spears picks another winner

Britney Spears showed up to the grand opening of Sideways Restaurant in Hollywood last night with her new man, Isaac Cohen, a 25-year-old "model/actor." I use the quotes, because a quick search on IMDB turned up empty, unless he's the same Isaac Cohen that served as "Miscellaneous Crew" on an episode of Project Runway. Then yeah, I guess he is an actor. But judging by this photo of him lifted off his (now deleted) MySpace, a better description would be winner. One finger up the nose and the other down the pants? With modeling skills like that it's a wonder he's not already a household name.
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Reader Comments
1. scoos - January 12, 2007 1:11 PM
hey at least he has a job. For her it's a step up.
2. danielle - January 12, 2007 1:12 PM
Boogers and Cheetos...a perfect combination.
3. ponk - January 12, 2007 1:14 PM
and he can spell 4-syllable words! wtg Brit!
4. tits_on_snack - January 12, 2007 1:14 PM
Yeah he may not have the freshest modeling skillz but he DOES have some killer tatts - flying eagles and shit. It doesn't get much more FIRE than that.
5. tits_on_snack - January 12, 2007 1:15 PM
P.S. Spears looks about a hundred years younger in this shot.
6. Coolguy8621 - January 12, 2007 1:17 PM
she looks pretty, and a little thinner
7. tits_on_snack - January 12, 2007 1:18 PM
P.P.S. That "please don't eat me, I love you!" vegetarian propaganda on the sidebar has to go.
Pigs don't love you.
They love eating slop, biting people, and laying in mud with other pigs.
Same as how soaring eagles don't give a fucking shit about america. They care about catching fish, and building really big nests, and appearing in really FIRE tattoos.
8. schack - January 12, 2007 1:21 PM
what a waste of fingers!
why is a surprise that she looks different?! there are either infinitely many angles from which any face can be viewed, or if vision is pixelated, gazillions
9. Ramdonomo - January 12, 2007 1:25 PM
He still has that grubby-ass, nasty K-Fed look. Meh.
10. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 1:28 PM
In the second pic he's exercising how to approach Britney.That's quite obviously.
11. Pointandlaugh - January 12, 2007 1:29 PM
FEDEX wannabe. heh,heh. What a putz.
Can someone just drop Britney off on a desert island so we can forget about her and her cavalcade of loser boyfriends?
12. RussianMafia - January 12, 2007 1:29 PM
He looks like a skinnier SLIGHTLY scruffier version of Jordan Bratman in the first pic. Wearing a hat from one of those uber-chick Mitsubishi commercials.
13. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 1:31 PM
He must have well informed agents.
14. LL - January 12, 2007 1:35 PM
She does look OK, actually. She looks young and pretty, rather than the trailer park skank look she's been sporting for the past few years. Hopefully that means she's employed a stylist.
Having said that, I'll say this: Britney, the last thing you need right now is a penis. You've had plenty already for someone your age, you have two kids, give the bajngo a rest, for the love of cheese. I think I can hear it saying, "no mas" from here.
15. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 1:36 PM
It's best for her to have somebody "backing"her up now.I hope she's in very fine hands now.
16. LL - January 12, 2007 1:37 PM
That was supposed to be "bajingo", with the i. So sorry.
17. Ardee - January 12, 2007 1:38 PM
that's no way to talk about britney and her future babies daddy
18. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton - January 12, 2007 1:44 PM
He looks ok. Or, as Britney's family says, he aint so bad fer a fuckin christkiller.
19. frenchtoaststix - January 12, 2007 1:51 PM
He's telling her in semaphore code, "This is where the coke goes and this is where your mouth goes."
I hope this dumbass hillbilly skank is on birth control and doesn't get knocked up again. In fact, if her uterus just fell out during one of her limo-exiting-without-panties episodes, I would rejoice.
20. frenchtoaststix - January 12, 2007 1:54 PM
Not semaphore. That's with flags. Secret hand signals.
God I'm a stupid bitch today.
21. Mo - January 12, 2007 2:06 PM
Picture 2: Lysol disinfected wipes not included.
22. Mo - January 12, 2007 2:06 PM
Okay, I'm a retard too. Let's try again:
Picture 2: Lysol DISINFECTING wipes not included.
23. kate - January 12, 2007 2:09 PM
So, she takes one decent photo in 2 years. Whoopie. She's still trash.
24. Dean - January 12, 2007 2:13 PM
He kinda looks like Kevin Federline +1.
25. BarbadoSlim - January 12, 2007 2:13 PM
"model/actors" = "unemployed"
26. combustion8 - January 12, 2007 2:17 PM
I think this guy waited on my table once at Outback.
27. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 2:18 PM
Does this guy have green eyes?
28. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 2:21 PM
I really hope she's learning and i also hope her family back her up good.
29. Lowlands - January 12, 2007 2:24 PM
Still i dunno what the second pic means.
30. schack - January 12, 2007 2:29 PM
very nice frenchtoast! brilliant solution, and i amend my comment: excellent use of fingers.
31. PunjabPete - January 12, 2007 2:37 PM
#20 - LMAO - how many here knew a Semaphore anyway... :)
32. schack - January 12, 2007 2:49 PM
i think the correct usage would be "he's telling her by semaphore." as it is, it's sort of like ATM machine. he's telling her by a (signal code) code, if you want to play that game. But I say Bravo! to the solution, regardless.
33. frenchtoaststix - January 12, 2007 3:07 PM
#32: Right, it's the Department of Redundancy Department, like DSW Warehouse or MLB Baseball. Mea culpa!
34. dirt chicken - January 12, 2007 3:14 PM
Oy vey. I'll bet Isaac Cohen's parents are thrilled.
35. schack - January 12, 2007 3:24 PM
dsw warehouse! damn, i've been making a fool of myself all these years! :)
36. pookiedoo - January 12, 2007 3:49 PM
MY trailer-trash boyfriend can pick his nose and jerk-off at the same time. So not impressed with this putz.
37. dreamhypnotique - January 12, 2007 4:17 PM
He is a model slash actor in the same way that the thirty two year old loser handing me my cappucino in the morning across the counter at starbucks is a lead-singer for his unsigned band slash failure.
38. BarbadoSlim - January 12, 2007 4:39 PM
Oh yes like me being a porn actor/astronaut
39. Kristin - January 12, 2007 4:47 PM
That sign is towards you, Superficial.
40. binky2bink - January 12, 2007 4:49 PM
Mmm...as long as this one isn't a flaming asshole he's definitely a step up. But it'll take awhile to find that out.
Anyway, he's cute and she looks really nice in this shot.
41. cherie - January 12, 2007 4:53 PM
Why, Britney? Why?
42. bergdof616 - January 12, 2007 5:43 PM
There are more pictures of him on celeb gossip sites where he looks really good. He's too good for her C-scar, white trash ass, IMHO.
43. NipsyHustle - January 12, 2007 7:19 PM
when will insecure codependent women learn? take some time off from relationships to heal yourself. she's still legally married and fucking somebody else. she's full of 5th grade shenanigans, whoring, and baby daddy drama.
this guy is out for support because there is no way in hell any man would want to be with her unless they like exploring giant skeet infested caves or fucking the mentally challenged.
44. Danklin - January 12, 2007 7:40 PM
Thats not Britney Spears, no way she looks that good now. She couldnt have lost that much weight in 2 weeks.
45. ResidentX - January 12, 2007 7:48 PM
Damn, he looks just like K-Fed with the beard. Britney is stupid but she looks sober and clean in this picture.
46. j - January 12, 2007 7:52 PM
nipsy love your post and people she is still trash don't let one picture fool you
47. heyheyhey - January 13, 2007 2:54 AM
BREAKING NEWS--
my girlfriend just texted me [she lives in vegas] and said that she's at club OPM and britney is currently at the club with her "former" new best friend Paris. and its about 3 AM over there...so...to be fair and balanced, Britney sucks at motherhood. But she is very good at partying
48. moondoggy - January 13, 2007 2:58 AM
im old enough to remember her telling the world that she was a virgin, really she is...its like a comic book tragedy.
Wonder what the kids names will be and whether she'll have the last batch circumcised.
49. Spindoc - January 13, 2007 5:00 AM
Nice of that young man to give a bloated old lady a thrill
50. seriously... - January 13, 2007 5:17 AM
You're sooo right. Britney deserves a man with Ghandi's kindness, George's Clooney's sex appeal, Brad Pitt's looks and Einstein's brain. Yes, this man certainly doesnt't reach her high level
51. Lowlands - January 13, 2007 5:29 AM
Does she need a man with a rsi-arm?
52. techclerk - January 13, 2007 11:46 AM
Why did they pull that photo from MySpace? He spells superficial correctly. Does that set the standard too high for the bloggers?
53. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - January 13, 2007 1:24 PM
I'm super... thanks for asking...
54. shanonorato - January 13, 2007 1:30 PM
her boob is looking a little saggy
55. mike hawk - January 13, 2007 1:40 PM
shitney braziers. sp. sp. pshhh.
56. oh my god. - January 13, 2007 2:44 PM
Was that picture of Britney taken in 2001? She looks like she's not an STD-ridden alcoholic coke-addicted trailer park whore. There's no way it's not from 2001.
- Lua
57. RichPort - January 13, 2007 3:42 PM
#20. And every day. At last we agree on something, ...
58. Lowlands - January 13, 2007 5:29 PM
On the second pic,this guy is showing bad habits i think.They should better dress him in a Victorian boy-sailoroutfit.That's more politically correct.
59. dreamhypnotique - January 13, 2007 6:11 PM
He looks like one of those pasty little faggots who listens to emo music but when you talk to them they try to seem all well rounded and impress you with some facts about NWA that they read off wikipedia.
60. Lowlands - January 13, 2007 6:30 PM
I've to admit wikipedia is a little more easy to search unlike this encyclopedia.10 heavy pieces make a collection.
61. Lowlands - January 13, 2007 6:41 PM
Maybe Britney has this dude because she's a new stylist?
62. Lowlands - January 13, 2007 6:51 PM
The guy seems very anxious.Has he start his "cleansing-process"yet?
63. umakemelaugh - January 13, 2007 10:31 PM
Pick a winner for sure and if he sticks his finger in anymore he could scratch his anus
fuk i hate shitme
If the photo of the boring couple had speech bubbles above their heads what would be written in them
or would anything be written at all
(crickets cherping)
64. Ambassador of Sexy - January 13, 2007 11:34 PM
And so we're introduced to the father of Cornelius Otter Spears.
After their relationship dissolves, I'm guessing a 'special' video with K-Fed that'll sell like termite pancakes.
65. MrSemprini - January 14, 2007 7:52 AM
At least he didn't say, "Be adiquite". Whew, almost had to go back and correct the spelling. Hohan, be proud!
66. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - January 14, 2007 9:05 AM
Be super-duper. Not just super. And then be hella super.
67. shanonorato - January 14, 2007 10:07 AM
ummm...did anyone notice the wrinkly sagging boob?
68. frenchtoaststix - January 14, 2007 1:46 PM
#57 Fake RichPort troll: Why don't you get out of my life, and shut up?
69. Plyshed - January 14, 2007 1:51 PM
Dear Mr. Cohen
I Have seen your new girlfriend's pussy. HAHAAHHAHAHAhahahahahah
70. DrunkBlogger - January 14, 2007 2:12 PM
This dude was at Privilege last night, bangin' Cher.
71. RichPort - January 14, 2007 2:52 PM
#67. Obese bull dyke RichPort groupies are hardly in any position to make demands, especially on this thread, ... so I'll consider it a rhetorical question.
Autofellate, and have a nice day.
Oh, and RPLTC long time!
72. Truthseeker013 - January 14, 2007 3:10 PM
Oh, how *easily* you're all deceived...
Look at the pics. Isn't it *obvious*? *One and the same*.
73. frenchtoaststix - January 14, 2007 8:14 PM
#71: You have a numbering problem, don't you? But, aren't you pretty good at drawing, like, animals and warriors and stuff?
74. Mr.Eps - January 15, 2007 12:13 AM
this dumb bitch dont learn
hes a fucken kfed copy
bitch is crazy!
75. jrzmommy - January 15, 2007 6:04 AM
she'll be pregnant within minutes.
#18-that's pretty fucking funny.
76. 86 - January 15, 2007 9:48 AM
Britney is a hot commodity because everyone knows that if you date her you automatically become famous & sought-after.
77. licklick - January 19, 2007 10:02 PM
Me and Issac have a lot in common except that I use my right hand for nose picking.
Ya think it matters to Britney?
78. HollywoodSnark - March 9, 2007 1:31 PM
someone needs to tell her that dating hobos doesn't count as charity work
79. HollywoodSnark - March 26, 2007 1:11 PM
geez, does she always pick the scummiest guy around
80. tedincity - January 5, 2008 12:24 PM
mngo e grozna britney spears naplay:@