January 8, 2007
Britney Spears falls asleep, breaks contracts
Britney Spears might not get paid the alleged $400,000 appearance fee for her New Year's "work" at Pure in Las Vegas because they say she violated the contract by not spending enough time there.
"Britney failed to spend the agreed amount of time in the club, because she had to be helped out after collapsing," alleges a close source. The tipster also says the club is "furious" with her because of her PR spin that she merely fell asleep - implying the place is boring.
That's why you don't hire Britney Spears. For anything. Ever. I thought she could handle working at Burger King once, but at the end of the day I had twenty seven complaints from customers who had all been served shoes.
Previous Entries
» Angelina Jolie thinks she's better than Madonna» Britney Spears debuts some new music, sort of
» Dustin Diamond might have used a stunt penis
» Paris Hilton doesn't understand bunny ears
» Kate Moss is incredibly gross
Comments
1. Posted by Ren on January 8, 2007 3:40 PM
Britney Spears life failure #47,865
Pure Club Appearance
2. Posted by Pointandlaugh on January 8, 2007 3:52 PM
WTF is going on with her left cheek? Did KFED have to keep his pimp hand strong?
3. Posted by Vanwarinator on January 8, 2007 3:56 PM
She's a nasty looking whore
4. Posted by Binky on January 8, 2007 3:59 PM
I often fly down to PURE for a good snooze - I don't see the problem.
5. Posted by Adult Underoos on January 8, 2007 4:02 PM
a britney spears hiaku:
i'm no good at life
would you like to see my snatch?
oh wait nevermind
6. Posted by TJH on January 8, 2007 4:05 PM
Ugh. She already looks matronly, what with the double chin and all.
Just think, before the kids, she was definitely sodomizable. Now, she's forever in the fucked-up former celebrity stage.
7. Posted by Carsten5577 on January 8, 2007 4:06 PM
My feces in the morning looks better than her (and not as stupid).
8. Posted by Celetina on January 8, 2007 4:16 PM
The club has every right to be angry. It would've been better for everybody all around if she'd just said "I partied so hard my liver broke down." It would bring positive attention to the club, and while we'd still rag on Britney for it, she at least has an excuse---it's New Year's! Whoever came up with the "sleep" idea needs to be fired on the spot.
Is it true the record label is going to dump her?
9. Posted by whodat on January 8, 2007 4:23 PM
it wouldn't have worked if she told the truth - "I partied so hard I passed out and lost control of my bowels! Go to Pure if you want to see the stain on the floor! It's britshitacular!!!"
10. Posted by freakflag on January 8, 2007 4:26 PM
Her agent called me to see if I wanted Brittany to appear at my birthday party this coming July. I told him I'd have to get back to him.
11. Posted by NipsyHustle on January 8, 2007 4:31 PM
according to this photo, K-fed is having the last laugh and he lives in a shoe behind a dumpster on the boulevard of broken dreams.
12. Posted by King Gaspi on January 8, 2007 4:52 PM
Please don't post this picture ... Or my lack of sleep because of nightmare will drive me insane ... Wait , I already am ... But it can be worse, i could start liking Lindsay Lohan ... And then, will you be able to sleep kwowing you did that to me ?
13. Posted by Well,whynot? on January 8, 2007 5:08 PM
HAHAHA oh gosh. It's always hilarious to see rich people you hate loose money. Oh, and Britney's TOTALLY creepy in this picture. Doesn't she kinda look like the Bride of Frankenstein?
14. Posted by DrunkBlogger on January 8, 2007 5:21 PM
What the? Why does she look 40?
15. Posted by RichPort on January 8, 2007 5:22 PM
I'd fuck Fed-Ex.
16. Posted by Kristin on January 8, 2007 5:23 PM
Lmao @ #13.'
I don't even get why they would hire her. Don't they read? No one likes her anymore.
17. Posted by Well,whynot? on January 8, 2007 5:42 PM
#16, i think this is a mystery good enough to put on top of the list, on the same level as the Burmuda Triangle, Paris Hilton's "career", and who the homeless guy living at the corner of my street is talking to. Only *points upward* knows. Or maybe *points downward*, i think that's more likely.
18. Posted by samasc on January 8, 2007 6:02 PM
I live in Las Vegas so here's the real deal: It's been all over the radio for days now. Don't think I'm sticking up for her because I'm NOT but the facts are that she was paid $150,000 and the night club owner was interviewed on a local station and they are happy with her appearance and have no complaints. She stayed until 1:30am and there was no pre-set time for her to be there until. And why wouldn't they be happy with her appearance? The clubs name has been all over magazines and websites since she was there!
19. Posted by Do Freebird on January 8, 2007 6:07 PM
I do believe that the hematoma on her cheek happened when her head hit the bar after she vomited thru her nose and then "fell fast asleep like a newborn babe" on a barstool.
And is it just me, or does it look like ole Brit is getting the classic 50 year old alchoholic bullbus nose?
20. Posted by Well,whynot? on January 8, 2007 6:23 PM
OMG! #19 you're right! She does have a definite round and shiny/red nose! Someone should lock up the cupboard, kick! Brit's coming!
21. Posted by somechick on January 8, 2007 6:30 PM
SHE SHOULD DATE EMINEM!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! I called Brad and Angie 10 years before it happened and look at them now!
I also won't mention what a loser SHITNEY is!
22. Posted by Bell91501198 on January 8, 2007 6:31 PM
I said before that I'd hit it 2 out of 10 times. I'm just sick of her though and I'm not really into the whole white trash cow thing so that number has dropped to 1 out of 10. As far as this pic goes...I wouldn't hit it.
23. Posted by somechick on January 8, 2007 6:54 PM
Good Bell. You have your standards.
24. Posted by mikewall on January 8, 2007 7:39 PM
She looks a lot older than her age now she was not bad looking 2 years ago, http://www.topsexywomen.com/britney-spears-picture.html
25. Posted by BigMember on January 8, 2007 8:30 PM
Britney the red nosed redneck
had a very slimy crotch
and if you ever saw it
you would die in total shock
All of the other starlets
used to laugh and call her names
they never let poor Britney
join in any starlet games
Then one foggy drunken eve
Paris came to say
Britney with your nose so bright
don't come to my party tonight!
Still all the rednecks loved her
as they shouted out with glee
Britney the red nosed redneck
will go down in history!
As the whore OF THEE CENTUUUURYYYYYYYY!!!
26. Posted by yuckyfresh on January 8, 2007 9:13 PM
looks like someone finally punched her in the face. it's about fucking time!
27. Posted by Boogie Monster on January 8, 2007 9:40 PM
LMAO @ # 25! Thats a good one!
She looks like some one with "Special Needs"
28. Posted by sol on January 8, 2007 10:24 PM
i'm glad to see that britney's now a happy clown
29. Posted by Jedi Kevin on January 8, 2007 10:57 PM
Can't sleep, clown's gonna eat me!
30. Posted by shanonorato on January 9, 2007 2:43 AM
I can't stand that perpetual dopey smile always plastered on her face.
ROTFL #28 - Happy Clown for sure.
31. Posted by AmberDextrose on January 9, 2007 3:02 AM
#25 Cool
32. Posted by MrSemprini on January 9, 2007 3:09 AM
Dang, man... What happened to that cute little girl that used to sing so nice? I think Brit ate her, with toast.
33. Posted by JagedNS on January 9, 2007 3:32 AM
she's Courtney Love classy nowadays.
(hums Britney the Red Nosed Redneck to himself)
34. Posted by JessicaCha on January 9, 2007 3:35 AM
Get off the brit-train.... nobody cares about her anymore...
35. Posted by BritishBitch on January 9, 2007 6:25 AM
what a nasty break out of zits on her right cheek...yet another reason to lay off the cheesburgers
36. Posted by Jenna on January 9, 2007 6:50 AM
I think she's already won the "Biggest Train Wreck of 2007" award....and its only Jan. 9. You go Britney.
37. Posted by hendero on January 9, 2007 6:51 AM
she looks like Beetlejuice....
38. Posted by jrzmommy on January 9, 2007 6:51 AM
Joke's on them........Tao payed her $600,000 to fall asleep.
39. Posted by 86 on January 9, 2007 7:38 AM
Why is it that she always looks like she has just fallen down a flight of stairs?
40. Posted by misanthrope on January 9, 2007 8:04 AM
@39: LMAO.
Did Brit get to put make up on all by herself this time?
41. Posted by wedgeone on January 9, 2007 8:13 AM
#13 - Congrats on violating rule #69 of this blog: "Those who put two "o"s in any form of the word "LOSE" suffer an anal fisting without lubricant.
TAKE THE PAIN!!!
Consider yourself fisted. And go back to grade school & learn to spell!
#15 - FTLTC.
#19 - I believe the nose thing is called a "gin blossom" (not to be confused with that band from eons ago).
#25 - "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" song never sounded so good. If Brit recorded that with your lyrics, it would go to #1.
#38 - Been missing you jrz. Welcome back.
42. Posted by cole007 on January 9, 2007 8:32 AM
TWO WORDS:
LIZA MINELLI
43. Posted by kate on January 9, 2007 9:21 AM
I love how Britney's handlers are still delusional enough to think everyone's breathlesslly anticipating her big comeback. I hope no one buys her stupid CD's.
44. Posted by HELLpenis on January 9, 2007 10:42 AM
I love britney but she's making it really difficult to be a fan. Stupid bitch. I want her comeback to succeed but she's going to fail if she doesn't fucking straighten up and fly right. It may already be too late...STUPID BITCH!
45. Posted by 1hen2ducks on January 9, 2007 10:56 AM
Holy sh*t! Can't blame bad lighting on that haggered puss. Someone please remind this woman that she is a mother. What a pathetic disappointment she's turned out to be.
46. Posted by fame is funny on January 9, 2007 11:00 AM
Oh wow. I'm going to sidestep all the normal comments I would have about her and just say that is a god-awful picture. Holy crap.
47. Posted by Whammer Jammer on January 9, 2007 11:52 AM
#44.....it is too late. First of all, she's talentless. Second, her "comeback" is going to fail miserably, and I will laugh when it does. Third, she's not going to straighten up. She doesn't have a brain in her head, and she continues to prove it again and again. Her kids are the ones who are going to suffer the most, but I doubt she cares, she only had them for publicity purposes. If she could just get rid of them like she did her chihuahua, I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to do it.
48. Posted by Spindoc on January 9, 2007 11:55 AM
She looks like the 35 year old dumpy girl in the office who finally gets asked out then doesn't know how to dress herself or wear make-up properly.
49. Posted by cole007 on January 9, 2007 11:57 AM
@48 - you hit it on the damned nail. She IS Dumpy... in every way possible.
50. Posted by caljenna on January 9, 2007 12:27 PM
That's her grandma, it's gotta be...
#18, kind of a double-edged sword if it's true, she only got 150,000 for a new years gig? ouch.
51. Posted by 86 on January 9, 2007 12:45 PM
"My only wish this year" is to never hear her lame-ass voice again.
52. Posted by Mr. Fritz on January 9, 2007 2:10 PM
I am so sick of this "comeback" shit. She will never attain the popularity she had when she first appeared. The Lolita angle was a clever marketing tool. Now she looks like Courtney Love's morning shit. All those years of boozing, fucking, and smoking have finally taken their toll on her.
53. Posted by Forbidden on January 9, 2007 3:25 PM
Superfish you couldn't find a worse picture of Britney right?
The media keeps talking crap about her, leave the girl alone. She lost A LOT from her good days after having her kids, but once she was one of the hottest chicks in the world, and she says she will get back to the way she used to be, so give the girl a chance and don't be so mean, idiotic and brainwashed by the media.
54. Posted by Saera on January 9, 2007 5:50 PM
AHAHA.
I love the last paragraph. It's so true.
55. Posted by danigirl on January 9, 2007 9:53 PM
shes fat...ugly...slutty....god shes just as worse as paris hilton...except paris hasnt reproduced....which hopefully that will never happen...please pray she gets ovarian cancer and has her ovaries removed...
56. Posted by NeckneySucks on January 10, 2007 8:52 AM
Her fans are so brainwashed by her hype and lies! I don't know why anyone is shocked, she has always been ugly, and has down syndrome eyes. She just had lots of make up and airbrushing done. But she is aged about 20 years. She is ugly inside and out, and not dit to call herself a mother. She is a selfish skank.
57. Posted by crystina on January 11, 2007 1:00 AM
wow. she looks like a mid-thirties martha stewart on crystal meth.
58. Posted by andeerion on January 12, 2007 8:14 PM
why does brit spees look like the joker? she isn't even funny.
59. Posted by LEOFER on January 17, 2007 10:32 PM
that picture looks like she?s turning into liza minelli!!!!!
I can?t believe she made me horny just a couple of years ago!!!!
I need to see a psychiatryst!!!!!!
60. Posted by principe on February 1, 2007 10:05 AM
This is for #55...what kind of person wishes cancer on another? Shame on you for being such a cruel and nasty person. You may not like Britney Spears, but I doubt that you-or most of the authors on this board-look half as good or have accomplished nearly as much. Take a good look in the mirror before you spit out such hateful things, and remember-karma's a bitch.