Dec 12 2006Tara Reid still a drunken mess, sun still bright

FIRST

I'm pretty sure this is the first scene of Blacks on Blondes, Volume 69. Good to see Tara getting work again.

She's getting the telltale alcoholic "bulbous" nose. She's going to be such an ugly old drunk in a few years.

I like to imagine that the bouncer is throwing her out.

LOL @ # 3. She does have a rather bulbous nose doesnt she? She's still ugly, still doesnt know how to dress and still annoying.

"I wuzsh in 'Murrican Pie, yoush fuckers. Dont'sh you fucken knows whosh I am? Gesh your fucken handsh off me, fuckin fuckers (hic)"

Followed by vomit of both alcohol and stranger semen.

Looks like Tara's liver and cooter are headed to a tiebeaker to win the "Most Abused Body Part" award.

Why is she wearing the Cowardly Lion?

she looks like a badly dressed helen keller. what poor animal had to die so she could look that awful??

The last pic looks like: "oh no, I gotta pee! I can't hold it! No way I'm gonna hold it! Paleeeez help!"

hehe... "Cowardly Lion". so that's the unfortunate animal.

What a fucken mess. I really used to like this chick and thought that maybe she had cleaned herself up this time - but no. All that money on fixing herself up for nothing. The downhill slide has begun - again.

And yeah what a fucken bitch wearing that fur coat - get her PETA!

oh my...can you imagine the unspeakable things that happened after these pictures were taken...later when they were alone?

I'm sure the guy's still emotionally scarred - http://hollywoodsnark.com

she must be on the same step as lohan.

She looks half retarded

http://www.celebslam.com

I've seen more photos....ahem....elsewhere, and she actually falls to her knees, (which she's in the process of doing in the last photo). I am anxiously awaiting the release of the paparazzi video.

She looks like five miles of bad road.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Am I splitting hairs if I mention that the looking pretty thing happened wayyy after the Paris thing? I mean, I know it seems pretty much a moot point when this is the most current picture of her. But if I'm going to chart the decline of a celebrity, I've got to adhere to exacting standards, dammit!

These pictures have given me such a sense of comfort and stability in these otherwise chaotic times. My apocalyptic anxities have evaporated. Drink on Tara, drink on.

Lindsey Lohan, Look at your future in 2 years. It took Tara 10 years to fuck herself out of a career and Lindsey is doing it before she is even 21.

See, Tara just didn't Try hard enough.

As for the Bulbous nose comment....Damn, so right.

Who thought she'd turn out okay? It's obvious that
this girl will soon be working the Mac counter
at Saks in the Short Hills mall where she'll
be taunted every day with the phrase"aren't
you that girl from those American Pie movies"?

Anyone remember that teacher that fucked her student- Mary Kay Letourno or something? Isn't that her student in the pics with Tara? Villie Fillou or some shit?
and I think that is my German Shepard that was hit by a car she is wearing.

**all of the above is comedic babble. please don't post to me that the teacher and student are now married and have a gaggle of kids. I know, I'm just sayin....

Those are some seriously dilated pupils. This shitburger is hopped up on WAY more than a 24 pack of Bud cans.

hehehehe...Frankentitalicious *give me a recycled beat*

You can just smell the incoherency coming off that picture. It's fun to imagine what she might be trying to say. And the nose is well on it's way to alcohol-induced rhinophyma. She'll be able to store spare change in her pores, and without makeup, her broken capillaries will look like a map of fucking Idaho (or wherever she's from). I give it about four years before she legally has to change her last name to MaGoo.

Is that guy someone she pays to keep her from falling down? Lohan needs one of those.

Still, Tara still looks better than Britney. She's fully dressed, her hair (while messy) looks like it's been washed recently and we can't see her boobies or her hoo-hoo. All in all, it could be worse. (See: Britney, Lohan, the Hilton sisters doing that weird legs-up pose in the limo)

Man, when Tara Reid outclasses you, you know you got a problem.

"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille ....BLAARRRRGGGG...BLHEARRRRRGGG"

she was quoted as sayin'

Rhinoplasty, anyone?

Hmmm... tacky fashion sense, alcoholic tendencies and no employment prospects -- I'm sensing Britney Spears BFF material here!

http://www.HolyCandy.com

LAST!

She's quoting Shakespeare. Really.

Christ on a cross! She looks like she's wearing my dog Sparky, and I haven't seen my dog Sparky in like two days..weird..

It's what she does best.

I'm just going to wax philosophical here, but why are all these girls acting the way they are? Lohan, Paris, Britney, Tara and so on. Say what you will about them, but they really did, at one point, have quasi-good looks, a small iota of talent, and more money than God himself.

So why are they drinking and drugging themselves into a stupor? Apart from the fact that they're going to prematurely age, lose a huge wad of money, possibly go to prison, and generally look like an idiot to the discerning public, what's the upside? If I didn't know better, I'd say they were depressed and had low self-esteem but - by God! - if I were that rich, I'd fucking BUY me some self-esteem if I had to.

What I would NOT do is:
1) Become an alcoholic
2) Become a drug addict
3) Go pantyless in public
4) Wear lingerie in public and pretend that my sexy nightie is really a dress (I'm talking to YOU, Paris)
5) Wear my grandma's slip in public and pretend it's a dress (Your turn, Lohan)
6) Pop out two kids and then promptly forget their name, gender, etc. because I'm busy, dammit!!

In general, if I had their money - I'd dress nicely and buy a boat and never work a day again. If I had their looks, I'd find a nice man with matching funds and let him tell me how gorgeous I am (preferrably once an hour). If I had their talent, I'd do a couple of B movies, promote a charity or two, and then retire gracefully to New Zealand. Why don't they??? It just... confuses me. Seriously.

Okay, now I'll go back to being snarky and sarcastic.

There's still poeple doing the FIRST thing?
Fuck off.....

#34 - You rule man! I'm so proud that your choice would be to retire in NZ! That's my homeland!

After these pictures were taken, they went back to his place and split a Dominos 5 5 5 deal, he then proceeded to eat what he thought was a slice with sausage, but turned out one of her nipples fell off.

Well said, John Doe Jr. : )

#34 - Absolutely dead on!!!
Celeb life is just soooo haaard, you know?
I can't believe they can't make the most simplistic decisions without blowing it and becoming fodder for all of us to taunt. Tara was cute, funny, etc. She was a skinny girl who stupidly had a "surgeon gone wild" do her unnecessary lipo and perhaps sucked out what little brains she had in the process! I'm with you, EJ, I don't get it. Sail away, Tara, while you still can. (Or did you just blow your last dime on a bottle of Grey Goose?)

The guy looks very interested in what she is saying and appears to be hanging onto every word. It must truly be fascinating!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

#6, I cannot remember the last time I have cried from laughing so hard. Thank you, I will continue to come back and read your post when I'm having a horrible day. Thanks a bunch!

He most likely left before dawn, so all she has to remember him by are these pictures and the mysterious dry, flaky residue on her cheeks. Otherwise she'd be none the wiser.

She has the nose of an old drunk man who sits in the same bar stool every day at the bar. She also looks like she smells

Arrr...show us yer tits...

#2 spot on and from the looks of this she's not worthy of getting any decent white guy. Must suck for her parents knowing that she can't get a straight laced white guy only some low rent niggers.

#45
Must suck for your parents to know that none of their kids lived.

Anyone else notice that her pinky nails are longer than the rest of her fingers? Now, I'm not saying she's dipping coke with them, except for the part where I just said that very thing.

#36...... I want to move there too. Can I be an exchange student or something?

#44....... I really don't think you want that, and deep down in your heart I'm sure you'll realize that I'm right.

Ah but now she has even boobs whilst being drunk

I'm not willing to take that chance, Dory. You see, I looked at them once and... well, it wasn't very nice. Sometimes I have flashbacks while I'm driving and I have to pull over and take a few vics and smoke some weed before I can go on. No, Dory, I'm just not ready for the breasts yet. I'm still hurting from the Britney vagina incident. Please, give me some time to heal. I'm going to need a few more posts about Brad and Angelina and maybe some Johnny Depp full-frontal nudity before I can look at her again. For the love of God, what does a woman have to do to get some naked pictures of Johnny Depp???

What a suprise... lol

>if I had their money ... If I had their
>looks,...If I had their talent

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.You better stick to waxing floors. :]

She was always drunken mess

http://www.rumorficial.com

Ouch... She's ugly! Maybe she just got drunk to forget the mess her plastic surgeant did with her boobs and her belly... Oh no, I know... She's not drunk at all! This face is the result of a face lift she just got from the same guy. She thought looking ugly would take the emphasis away from her deformed breasts. Good job Tara!

Tara Reid = gross.

By her facial expression on the 1st pic I'd say she's practicing to star as Rambo.
She's got something Sly Stalonisch going on there.

Pic 3: Her shirt is tucked into her pink undies! What a drunken loser. If that guy lets go of her waist, she'll hit the ground like a sack of moldy potatoes. Which, coincidently, her chest is comprised of...Moldy potatoes...With all the dirt and the little eyes and everything.

what's with blondes and their unflinching attraction to trashy, tattooed, knuckle-draggers? That's what i'd like to know...

granted: tara is no spring chicken in this shot -- but stop acting like you would have turned your nose up at the opportunity to bang her on the set of the Big Lebowski or American Pie.

hot mess

#6 & #32 HA!!!!!

#19 - I agree. Everytime Tara gets plastered (drunk or bukakked, take your pick), she helps to stave off mankind's impending judgement day. Everytime she passes out on a stranger's shoes, a swarm of locusts dies. And everytime she exposes her dimpled, assless, body by Dupont, cataclysmic volcanic explosions recede and are quelled. In this respect, she is akin to Christ in her magnanimity. Cheers. Drink on indeed Tara...

That guy she's with looks like Asslee Simpson's "boyfriend"...what's his face...Brandon Olata? All these whores fuck each other's boyfriends/husbands/exes/every cock in CA, so I wouldn't be too surprised if it was.

EJ/BarbadoSlim-

I know this is old, but thanks for the love in the Britney thread. You guys are fucking great. I know I shouldn't let lame-ass trolls get to me, but when they try to say shit about my fucking stepfather, I get a *bit* pissed off. Like it wasn't bad enough that it was stalking me and looking up my fucking Myspace? What a fucking psycho. But anyways, I love you guys...thanks for having my back :)

Her mother should have named her Grace.

Why is she dressed for a blizard and the dude is dressed for a heatwave in Brooklyn?

Hey, I'd go for a round of drunken, sloppy fucking with her.

Looks like fun. Plus, much easier to slip out when you are done.

"heeeeeeyyyyy.....whereareu goinnnnng? come bakc here....

classic Tara. Oh sure I'd still bang her, but I'd take a dump in her kitchen on the way out.

Can I just please ask who the hell believed she had cleaned up her act in the first place? She shows up on a red carpet looking halfway decent and suddenly the past 4 years have been wiped away? Not.

Same with Lindsay "I haven't had a drink in a week, so give me a fucking medal" Lohan. I give it 2 months before she's acting like a whore again.

Heh, back at ya, 61. Thought your stuff was spot-on and didn't deserve the trollin' that you got.

And just remember that what they want most is to push your buttons. Next time they call you a baby-raping mass murder, just smile and say, "Actually, now that you mention it, I AM! Incidentally, what was YOUR address again?" ;)

I quite honestly feel sorry for this...'woman'. Really, I do.

We all f*ck up, you know? But only we're not celebrities. Is that what she is? Anyway...this one, every single thing is documented, every f*ck up and trip and mistake and she just can't seem to get it. She never seems to just GET it! Where is her mother? Was she born of a pod? Where are her friends? Why hasn't anyone staged an intervention. Doesn't anyone else think this is sad? I'm just typing because I like the sound of the clicking keys.

GET HELP, TARA! I am behind you 100%, even though I think you're a shame to The Sisterhood. (At least she wears panties.)

I'm hungry.
xox
canuck

I've seen the full sequence of pictures. When she bends all the way over to puke, her pants fall down and the guy starts boning her. It goes on for awhile. I thought I was completely disgusted, but then I realized my rock-hard cock was starting to lift up my desk. Maybe the tableu somehow looks different when viewed with only one eye...

She looks like Courtney Love's younger sister.

You know those exaggerated caricatures of celebrities in Mad magazine? That's what that banner picture looks like. Tara Reid has become a complete caricature of herself. Sad.

i dont care. she's my favorite train wreck.
Wasn't she just quoted saying that she wanted to find a nice guy and settle down
soon? yeah, im sure all the available men
with half a brain in their heads are just
LINING up to date her. She's definently someone to bring home to meet mom and dad.
She totally has an alchie face.

first of all, that's her drug dealer.

second of all, she's wearing the cowardly lion's shoes, too - did you check da UGGS?

Yikes. Drunken dressing:
"I'll just throw on jeans, a nightgown, this fur coat and my uggs. Ok, ready to go!"

Can I have another vodk(hiccup)a before we go?

The posts here have been hilarious!!! I would point out which ones cracked me up but there were too many, thanks for helping a Wed. go by faster.

As for Tara, there is something old fashioned and charming about the kind of trainwreck that just gets drunk, falls down, and fucks up her career compared to the train wreck of Lohan and Spears flashing their battered Vag and making public statments confirming their idiocy. Rock on Tara, Heaven is filled with vomit smelling old drunks just like you baby!

I'm waiting for the day we get video or photos of her holding up a 7-11, wearing a clear plastic bag on her head as a "disguise". After arrest, we'll find out she's been living behind the dumpster of the same 7-11, and turning a few tricks on the side for her meth money. She'll go on ET and confess to having had 13 abortions, including one from Carson Daly, and noting that after her tumble into the abyss of obscurity, she tried to work an honest job at a WalMart, but customer's kept mocking and heckling her, so she had to turn to prostitution and robbery. Then the E Hollywood Story, followed by authorities finding her decomposing corpse under a vacant house in Malibu, hand clutching a paper bag covering a flask of Wild Turkey.

I agree! These are definately some of the funniest posts I have ever read on here. Love you all! As soon as I see the pictures I start laughing, thinking of "SloppySeconds" post. I will keep coming back to this one for a while.

So do you often read photos?

Queen Fug's back on her throne - Kirsten Dunst and Britney Spears gave good chase, but Tara's in a league all her own.

who the hell hires her for movies anymore?