Dec 6 2006Paris Hilton is ready for kids

The Britney Spears/K-Fed custody battle just became a hundred times more terrible. I think it might actually be in those children's best interest if we just skip the intermediate step and feed them to lions.

Oh my dear god. She should not be allowed within 20 feet of children, let alone have one come out of her vagina!

http://www.veryliberating.com

Apparently no one cares.

First!

Damn, gotta get T1

Guys, give her some credit . . .At least she realizes that any baby she has is pretty much the same as a chihuahua. She'll feed it, hold it, play with it, and teach it to bark.

Dear God, she doesn't strike me as a suitable or even adequate parent...

Just give the woman one of those "real life" crying dolls, she'll never know the difference!

why do i feel like paris's children will turn out to be hookers by the time they are pre-k?
they won't know their ABC's but they will sure know how to let the boys know they are available.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MCa_tpfcYhc&search=Cute%20Baby%20Singing

Go sit down and be quiet Paris.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Please! She can't even go a week without going on at least 5 drunken outings.

*sigh* Someone shot her...

I can clearly see her logic, she is an animal. A nasty unclean, pantyless bitch. She'll give birth on some club, wipe off any fluids running down her legs and leave her spawn to survive while she slithers to the next stripper pole.

With all those STDs, any child she had would be so mutated that she wouldn't give birth, rather it would burst from her chest like in Alien.

This is NOT good news! Just imagine those kids will look just like Paris...and a bit like dad. They'll be obsessed with sex probably by the age of 5. Paris may end up giving them stripping lessons too since she has stipping poles in her house AND she'll end up giving them alcohol thinking it's milk or the stuff that comes out of her vagina...thinking THAT's milk! Oh dear!

I will lay money right now that she has a Ceasarian birth, remember, Herpes is transmittable if the baby is born naturally. Besides, a natural birth would break the scabs on all her festering puss-riddles herpes sores, Ouch! Thats not hot!

She's most likely going to adopt a baby from Somalia and name it Sprinkles. She'll dress it up and carry it around in a Dooney & Bourke bag until she accidentally leaves it at some bar calles "X-12" in West LA. Someone will find it and mistake it for a Bratz doll, and most likely throw it out because it reeks of vodka.

Imagine...four kids in an assortment of styles and colours!

Not ready to host awards shows, or maintain a relationship, or make sure she wears panties, but ready for children. This is awesome news. If this thing breeds, we're doomed.

Didn't this sorry excuse for a sponge lose her dog, post signs all around her neighborhood offering a reward, only to learn she had been too drunk the night before to remember she left it at her grandmother's house?

Because any parent can tell you that taking care of a newborn baby and raising a child is JUST LIKE taking care of an animal.....Jesus Christ.

Why is there a black boot coming out of Paris' ass in the third picture after the jump?

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhh. You should have to earn the right to procreate. Can our government find a way to regulate THAT?

Yeah, when I was in labor for 48 hours, I compared my pain in those long hours to the pain of adopting my cat at the Humane Society. Little did I know that adoption would prepare for sleepless nights and sore nipples.

The beginning of the end of mankind came about in 2007 AD. As foretold, the Anti-Christ was born from a whore and it was covered in sores and it was so named HOLLYWHORE HILTON.
The 4 horsemen await patiently for the Apocalypse to begin.

Somebody needs to super glue this idiot's snatch closed so that this can never happen. It'll be the end of all of us if she is allowed to have children.

considering she got rid of tinkerbell because she grew heavier than 5 lbs, my guess is paris will be shopping for malnourished babies in haiti.

In the wild, some animals eat their young. Is there any hope for a reversal?

she just wants babies because brit has babies

and didnt she say she wanted to get married before a certain age and stay single for a year..

she's full of shit-- and those who are full of shit should not have sex

Someone may need to remind her it's impossible to get pregnant orally or anally.

the only place paris could put her kids and not forget where they were is in ver vagina. but considering all the spearing that goes on inside there, i suspect every time she took her kids out they'd look like golf balls.

To be ready for kids doesnt that mean you should at least stay home once a week?

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

stavros nachos better watch out. i feel a "set up" coming on.

ARMAGEDDON IS COMING!! RUN AND HIDE...

In picture 3 is there a man (based on the shoes) hiding behind her?

What's with this "we" shit?

Paris,

You aren't ready.

Sincerely,

Your ex-husband

30--I agree and appreciate a good old fashioned hysteria induced panic.......CIRCLE THE WAGONS! PARISITE IS PROCREATING! RUN FORREST, RUN! GAH!

Oh great, another bunch of money grubbing skanks, just what we need in the world.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

She can buy a kid if she wants. She can just go to the cute kid shop and charge one. Or maybe, a dozen. You never want to be photo'd with the same kid over and over. That's tacky.

http://thedirtydisher.blogspot.com/

Sure, Paris. Having kids and raising them is just like taking care of animals. Having the Latina maid put out Waterford crystal bowls of water and food, wipe their furball kak off the carpet when they hurl, Bedazzle your initials on a collar, so that you can carry them out every now and then in a designer handbag and pose like you care about it. It's exactly the same thing, only with a small human. I hope your eggs are dried up and crusty from all your STDs. Do humanity a favor and do not reproduce your wonky-eyed DNA.

She should just do like the rest and rescue a niglet from Africa.......

She'll do like Britney, Madonna, and everyone else in Hollywood and hire a nanny to raise it. It's not like any of those people actually raise their own kids.

As for the detriment to the genepool.. I think we can say the affect will be cataclysmic.

Paris is a child, how in the world can she be ready for them!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm

"It's been my dream to have four babies by 30."

It's been your dream since when, like 10 seconds ago? WTF?!?

For the love of God and all that's holy, and everything I don't believe in, this must never occur. I'm not for forced sterilization, but I'll make an exception in this case.

Mr. President, here's your chance to redeem yourself. Make the call and disappear the bitch before all is lost.

#41 - I agree, they need to Jose Padilla this ho.

I would pay good money to see the first time Paris tries to change a baby's diaper. Not the regular lumpy shit, but the gooey green stuff for the first couple of months or the explosion that occurs when the kid hasn't gone for a day or two. You know, the one that leaks from tippy toe to mid back. Of course I'd only pay for pay-per-view. I wouldn't want to be there as the smell makes me gag.

Oooo better yet! Paris getting hit by projectile vomit! Those little babys can spray it far! A big bowl of rice ceral and half a bottle of formula after it sits in the stomache for 20 minutes!

Babies are a big deal. I mean, you don't just get a baby like you do a dog. You can't even compare the two! Looking after an animal doesn't even come close to raising a CHILD. A child needs so many things, while an animal has much more survival instincts and mechanisms. You can leave a dog outside, you don't have to change a dog, and the feeding process is much lighter with a pet than a HUMAN BEING. Plus, animals usually don't cry constantly. Paris must forget that she won't have the sleek size zero figure than she has when she has kids. And if she makes her maternal decisions based on what she has witnessed from Britney Spears, we have bigger issues than this one, people.

Dear God let's hope this isn't true

http://www.celebslam.com

This is truly scary. Paris mutants running about just isn't right.

How is it that I need to pay for a license to drive a car?

I need to pay for a silence to own a dog?

But any crazy bimbo with a night vision poor excuse for a porno can have children?

Isn't there somewhere in the Preamble of the Constitution of the US that states something like, "those deemed too slutty and devoid of mental capacity should be chemically sterilized?" Well, if its not then it should be!

Just in case Paris Hilton and my children ever end up in the same school, I'm going to have my kids vaccinated for scurvy.

That's it...I'm starting a petition.... Any input you all have? I'm thinking something like:
To: CDC, U.S. Dept of Health & Human Svcs, Child Protective Svcs, Humanity:

For the sake of moving humanity forward and saving the world from a potential end to life as we know it as well as having to deal with a Paris Hilton off-spring, we ask that you force Paris Hilton to undergo mandatory sterilization. The disease mutations in and of themselves would be reason enough.

Thank you,
The Undersigned

-suggestions? changes?

http://www.thespinzone.com

Oh my...if ever there was a time for the phrase 'think of the children!', this is it...

She should just join forces with Michael Jackson to form a walking duo of kid's nightmares...

http://hollywoodsnark.com

Considering how sucky of a job her parents did with her, and since her new BFF is truly the BEST mom out there - I say go for it Paris. DFCS doesn't already have enough to do....keep 'em busy!

Watch Paris birth a shrivelled, hunchbacked dwarf with a lazy eye and a face full of herpes sores. Then see her "donate" the child to medical science and replace the malformed babe with an infant culled from the same baby farm that produced Suri Cruise. Paris and her little replacement, smartly dressed alike on the red carpet, preening and showing their pudendum to the photogs while her true flesh and blood lies huddled in a cage somewhere covered in its own filth - a guinea pig for a new herpes vaccine.

*five years from now, in the cafeteria of a private school*

random kid: "hey, your mom is a coked-up, irresponsible, bed-hopping, talentless pornstar and popstar wannabe with a lazy eye, no dancing ability and a rotted, dried up cooch, and she thinks she's a model and an actress but everyone who really matters in life knows she's a loser and a pathetic fucking bitch."

paris' son: *silence*

If she does have a kid, it will be the first thing that has ever tried to get OUT of her vagina...ecchhh..

Every single post here is in agreement, for the first time ever I think. 100% of the people can't be wrong, can they?

#48 - I'll sign your petition if you add "sew her vagina closed" to the mandatory sterilization request. After all, we need to prevent the mutated herpes virii from spreading through ANY AND ALL channels, yes?

I took a class in college where we had to read arguments for and against requiring a license to become a parent. I never really understood why I needed to care about such a subject . . . until today. I'm for such an initiative after reading this. Discuss.

WONk! WONK!! Wierd eyeball coming through!

OK folks.....
http://www.petitiononline.com/nohilton/petition.html

#52 - paris' son: "that's hot."

Oh Paris, honey! Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE
HOOK UP WITH K-FED!
He's very fertile, you know, and it would guarantee your presence in all the celebrags for the next 6 months at least.

Kids are the new black.

And just like Tinkerbell, when she gets bored with the baby, she'll just hand him off to her mother.

God, we can only hope all of the STD's she's aquired have rendered her sterile.

Coat her turkey baster with spermicide. Whatever it takes.

Tinkerbell would make a better parent.

She'd get a nanny and only see them on special holidays or photo shoots.

I agree, Tinkerbell would make a better parent! She could teach the kids how to pee on Paris' leg.

Someone needs to tell her getting sodomized by cokeheads in public bathrooms ain't gonna get her pregnant. HPV yes, babies, no.

WOW, if she comes through on the whole "four kids by 30" thing, how much you wanna bet at least one of the poor little bastards will be dead by the time she's 35?

This will be forgotten by year end when she and Britney are not longer friends, she will be busy trying to control a new best friend to think about children.

NO (whap!)
MORE (whap!)
WIRE (whap!)
HANGERS!!!!!!!!!

God I hope the Department of Child Saftey read this report as well... they would now be on high alert if they did for the totally messed up poor little spawns of horror this thing would bear

#51

I laughed so hard that chocolate milk shot out of my nose.

And I wasn't even drinking chocolate milk!

I'm having visions of hooves and horns.

wtf is with these idiots who think that having a pet prepares you for having a BABY? Someone spay this b*tch before it's too late.

Ugh. Do you people really care about what this stupid twat does? How about no more posts on Paris Hilton. Make the bitch get a life just like everyone else. Anyone with me? Of course not. There are thousands of people who fuck on camera and don't get this famous. I seriously don't get it. She's just so much nothingness... maybe someday I'll understand, young grasshopper.

Honestly, #70. I mean, she thinks a fucking chincilla or whatever she claims to care for is comparable to a fucking baby! How is that even remotely funny?

She has enough money to buy all the kids in the world and feed them. And hire the richest nannies in the world to take care of them. But no one should worry. No man is stupid enough to inpregnant her, including K Fed-esque types. No one would want their baby to be a freak

who 'dreams' of having 4 babies by age 30?

people, this is how you spot stupidity...a dumb, porno-making twit believing that she can rise children because she has a puppy...

1- remember tinkerbell ran away from her

2- the kinkaju bit her as it tried to escape

3- she encouraged Nicole to molest that cow on the simple life

yeah Paris, I think you can be a mommy...just adopt an exotic one and flash him/her on random red carpet events

She's ready for kids like Madonna is ready to adopt another kid! PLus I'm sure Paris is infertile due to her hybrid disease called herpes-ghonorrhea-tumour-hpv-syphillis-chlamydia-aids-bsc-creutzfeltjacobs-leukorrhea-bacterial vaginosis-candida-aids-hepatitis-a-b-and-c-multiple sclerosis-trichotillomania-psychosis-pzichophrenia-bipolar-tourettes-arachnopjobia-shingles-chickenpox-smallpox-the plague-anthrax!!!

I think shes' been taken out of context here. When she said 30, she actually December 30. Nothing says more about the spirit of a true Christmas than four small individually selected chidren from the third world.

Yuuuuuck...I pity the fool who knocks up Paris Hilton. Although given her history of unprotected sex I doubt it'll be too long before the world is graced with another blonde, vapid idiot.

http://www.celebrityfox.com/paris-wants-kids-soon/

Yeah. I'm sure the kids love it when mommy comes home pantiless, smelling of cigs and only partially drunk. At least they didn't bring that firecrotch home with them.

Will I be the only voice of dissent?

Look, she's 25 now so 4 kids by 30 means an awful lot of time spent at home being bloated and feeling sick. Unless she buys them of course, but humour me here that somehow she's silly enough to bear them herself and suffer all the indignities and miseries that only pregnancy can bring. Ah, haemerroids, varicose veins, extended nausea... couldn't happen to a nicer person.

After that, well it just means that OUR kids will have some airheaded sluts to sneer at 20 years down the line. I'd like that too.

I really HATE her. I mean she thinks a child is the latest accessory. But then again Britney makes having kids look so easy and effortless. I mean, what does she do really? I would want 4 kids too if it meant going out every night to party.

79 makes a good point...

she is our generation's mascot of utter stupidity

HER HAIR IS SO FAKE...EWWW LOOK AT IT..

I'd hate to see the herpes sores all over those poor babies' faces after the're squeezed out of Paris' filthy vag.

Oh good God all mighty maybe this girl should go get a real job like maybe at a daycare. Personnaly although Paris seems to be a very carring sort of person the girl also seems to be too much into herself. I can see just exactly what would happen if paris has kids. the kid would spit up on her and she would throw her arms up in the air saying eww gross. Daddddy I need a new dress this baby threw up on me. or omg Nicole this kid won't stop crying should i put a shot of whiskey in the bottle?? Poor kid. I see full time Nannies and part time mommy in the future.

can't a court intervene in this type of situation?

She is ready for a brain!!!!!!!
stupid bitch! I hate her.