Marvellous.

I'll take some of that 'tang

she's so sweet! i'm sure she'll do just fine. hang in there, jess!!!

Thats what you get for dumping Nick!!!

Ah, looks like this moron is spent, please discard spent moron into the waste receptacle provided for your convenience and thank you for flying Superfish!

poor jess. she needs a friend. i can't imagine loosing my virginity to someone, and marrying them... being with them for 2 or 3 years, then just divorcing. ah. as much as we like to poke fun, this girl is hurting.

I used to think all she had going for her was her voice, but that's not the case. She doesn't even have brains as back up. How sad.

http://theblemish.com

Well I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. She forgets her lines cos she keeps thinking of what’s waiting for her when she gets home. The minute she walks in Papa Jo will say "you forgot your lines AGAIN! You're a very naughty little girl" while unzipping his pants... Pure fear is installed in that girl - no wonder she cant remember them. Fear and the fact that she cannot determine the difference between fish and chicken...

I'd like to remember her at her best - spinning around naked with a bag on her head surrounded by hobos who would jerk off in their hand and throw it at her. That was a Christmas I'll never forget...

A microphone in her ear? Why? To listen to the lines rattling around in her brain?

yeah, well it's not like anyone really expects her to do anything more than lip synch and look hot....

http://hollywoodsnark.com

I never thought I'd say it, but I actually feel a tiny twinge of pity for this girl.

Yes, she's stupid and vaccuous. Yes, she has way more money and attention than she deserves. Yes, she's shamelessly got by on bottle-blondiness and big boobs. Yes, her job description is basically to be as stupid and slutty-looking as possible. And, yes, her performance in the Dukes of Hazzard was a crime against humanity.

Still, after all is said and done, I do feel bad making fun of retarded people who've been recently dumped for Jessica Biel or whoever skank-face is chasing right now.

Poor Jess nothing, this should be rather simple Jess, GO. AWAY.

Look,she got way more than the five minutes that were alloted to her, she made some money. We don't need to keep seeing her fucking face. With the sliver of dignity she MIGHT have left she can get herself an education and repair some of the damage she has done to America's reputation.

At least she remembered to dress herself

http://www.celebslam.com

Why did she and Nick split? anyone know? She has an incredible body......that'd be hard for any man to leave. No matter HOW dumb that chick is.

Guess it just goes to prove the old adage: No matter how HOT a broad is, there is always some guy who is sick of her shit.

/Well, I for one am NOT yet sick of your shit, Jessica! (whispers) "call me!"

the world will soon discover what a FRAUD you are. loser.

Ah yes....the gig is up Jessica. Time to go home. You fooled everyone for a little while.

I thought she was good at learning lines. "Yes Nick, I will swallow all that love jizz because I'm such a bad, bad girl. Daddy said so."

She did pretty good with that, last I heard.

#10 - Exactly! Could someone inform the "source" that microphones don't broadcast sound, they collect sound? That would have been an "in-ear monitor" she was using. The person on the other end reading the lines had the "microphone".
#8 - wasn't it "chicken and buffalo", not "chicken & fish"?

BTW - ALL FORMS OF "LOSE" HAVE ONE "O" PEOPLE! The next person who puts two "o"s in the flipping word gets fisted anally without lube. You're driving me crazy!

Hmm, I wonder just what changed Luke's mind? Remember THIS quote from somebody in his camp?

And Jeannette Walls reports that just last week, she told Jimmy Kimmel, “I’m going into doing another movie with Luke Wilson called ‘Blonde Ambition!’”

Jessica's blonde ambition may be just a bit to much for Luke according to Walls. The 'Scoop' columnist cites Star Magazine that claims a rep for Wilson told Star, “This project is in talks.” What’s more, a source told the tab, “Luke Wilson will never do a movie with Jessica Simpson.”

She's still dumb, not a shock.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Quel surprize, someone in Hollywood can't act for shit and survives solely on their looks. Somebody should tell her when she forgets her lines that they're in the bathroom on the back of the toilet.
#19, Jessica Simpson spells 'lose' that way. Please get video footage of the lubeless anal fisting she has coming to her.

la la la, working nine to uh, hum la uh oops , so nervous la la hee hee........

" Blonde Ambition "????????????

Casting was perfect, I would say, if she was a real blonde.

Applauding #19. Fist that thing.

It's almost impossible to hate her anymore. It's like kicking a puppy. A cute, fluffy golden retriever.

But then I think of her portrayal of Daisy Duke, and all is okay again.

Sorry, Ms. Bach.

#19

That was funny. Jessica couldn't remember her lines so they put a microphone in her ear. LOL!
Maybe they needed the sounds of cricketts chirping.

Of course she can't read. That was obvious on "Newlyweds". Nick gave her an anniversary card, which she pretended to read, then asked him a bunch of questions about it. He essentially had to go back over it with her, reading and explaining it as he went. This is beyond a reading comprehension problem, she cannot even decode words.
Keep on home schooling you freaky stage parent assholes! I wish someone would leak some of Jessica's emails and text messages to the press. She'd undoubtedly make Lindsay Lohan look like Dorothy Parker.

Chicken of the sea, is it tuna or chicken?

Good question, Jess. Ever hear of seahorses, seacows or sealions? "Chicken of the sea" is seachicken meat.

Of course it's ok...as long as they make money on the film. If not, she can get on a boat with Britney Spears and Tara Reid.

youtuberoast.com

#25 when my golden retriever read your post she was all like, "foo' you better recognize" and she snapped her paws from side to side.

true story

and yes I do a lot drugs so that might not have happened....that way.

Give her a break. She's been up all night playing stinkfinger with daddy.

Obviously her brain has been exposed to too much mercury from eating all those chickens from the sea.

but her momma said she has a genius IQ.......

Just my kind of girl, dumb blonde with big boobs
yes i'll still hit that

Just my kind of girl, dumb blonde with big boobs
yes i'll still hit that

Great, more dumb blonde jokes from this... sometimes I think I might just dye my hair.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Stupid is as stupid does......

# 19 - No no no no... She thought buffalos had wings! It was the tuna she was confused with cos she said "i know it has a picture of a fish on the can but it tastes like chicken" Remember???

dumb bitch.

all these blonds just making themselves look dumber than dumb

You know why there are so many fucking blonde jokes?

Because brunettes have nothing better to do on Friday nights than make them up.

*redhead*

Oh, and supanigga..... I'll take the soup, please.

too much alcohol can hurt people
http://www.rumorficial.com

Stupid people need to stop becoming so fucking rich and famous. This world is fucked.

#40

How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?

There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.

What is the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand into a
blender?

You've got a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on.

45th!

Jessica Simpson reminds me of a spent condom: annoying, necessary, full of splooge and destined to be thrown on a hotel room floor.

This dumb biatch ought to stick to just showing her tits and nothing more.

Throw me the ball George, throw me the ball.

She would have been better off becoming a stripper.

#38 - thx for setting me straight. I knew about the whole "buffalo" debacle, but I must have been passed out during the "chicken vs. tuna" incident. I cannot believe it!

Man - can the people who estimated the IQ's of the American Presidents a while back run their analysis on this bitch - she's got to be learning disabled.

Or a Boston Fern (no offense intended to Boston Ferns).

Plz put her in line for the mandatory sterilization procedure right after Paris.

The only line Jess remebers is the one Johnny Knoxville did off her ass while Steve O banged her mouth.

Gross I know, but true.

#44, Those were hilarious! Definitely going to share those with my best friend who's also a redhead.

Please understand that I have to kick your ass now. I hope this doesn't affect our relationship in any untoward way. I don't want to get kicked out of the club.

what does the director and producers of this movie expect when they hire a no talent bimbo to star in their movie? This chick is about as exciting to watch as paint drying. She totally got panned in Employee of the Momth. She cant act her way out of a paperbag, never mind sing. She appeared on the Today Show a few months ago, and I actually was embarrassed for her. The backup singers had more talent than she did. They must cringe when they have to sing backup for a nonsinging no talent bitch.

"working 9 to.......3? 7? 36? bunny rabbit?"

alotta people are saying their embarrsesd for her. I think its great. Her demise, clubbing baby seals, it's all good.

Most of her scenes were cut in Dukes of Hazzard. Employee of the month bombed and her acting was critisized and NOW they are giving her the lead in a movie?

Who are the dumbasses producing this? My guess is that she and daddy are funding this film which will no doubt have an opening weekend about as exciting as a turd hitting the toilet bowl.

#38

She wouldn't eat buffalo wings because she doesn't like eating buffalo.

I like eating buffalo, but you sure need an umbrella when you get caught under a flock of them flying south for the winter!

#50 Jessica's confusion "Is this chicken or fish what I'm eating?" stemmed from the fact that the brand of tuna was Chicken of the Sea. She was confused beause the can said chicken but she was pretty sure it tasted like fish. At least her tastebuds work.

Okay, little scoop scoop, check my site for the story behind the story. For once, I am a celeb blogger too.. ugh.. I mean YESS!!!

Okay, little scoop scoop, check my site for the story behind the story. For once, I am a celeb blogger too.. ugh.. I mean YESS!!!

#23 & #54 LOAO..Thanks for making us laugh.

Oh..and can't we stop it already with the tuna and chicken S@#$, who cares?

ok, thanks!

oh the surprises do just keep on coming don't they.

seriously.... ?
http://glam.com/g/p/56324532/nosub/5/56390098/5/56390098_1/205/98237835/?page=3