Dec 7 2006Jennifer Lopez joins the nutsos

Is all of hollywood insane?!?!

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

This woman is an asshole married to that tiny Skeltor man who scares me in my amygdula. Where's the Sterilization Cops when we need them?!

That would be Skeletor. Doh

it isn't long before TCLTC comes knocking on her doorstep.

I have super sperm I'll get her pregnant, me and the fish with our chiseled good looks and superior veracity and fertilization techniques, I know I can handle it, you up to it fish???

The show Nip Tuck has a Scientology storyline that is thisclose to exposing them for the greedy cunts that they are, sucking up the weak-minded and delusional. This past Tuesday's show was hilarious in portraying characters Kimber & Matt being chastised by their creepy Scientolgist doctor for having porno sex [he saw the tape online! Perv!]. And the portrayal of Xenu as a burly hunk o' burnin' love guy with a Halloween mask head of an alien was hilarious. I hope Tom Cruise is having apoplexy right now. It's my hope he dies of course, joining Lord Xenu & LRon down there in Hades.

Maybe they should go see Xenu and they might get healed! Those two have enough money to get fertility treatment...and their only option is the cracked out, fucked up scientology?! What the hell is this shit?!

Hey, I can see why you'd rag on J-Lo, but leave poor Steve Buscemi alone. Hasn't nature done enough to him?

Jennifer,
This is a message from God, some people are NOT MEANT to have children....'nuff said.

The list of Scientologist assholes in Hollywood is scary. Jason Lee of "My Name is Earl" and others who'd you never suspect unless outed online at anit-Scientolgy sites. Calling them a 'religion' makes my head want to explode. Or help them all explode via the use of high caliber explosives.....

She should try a Liberator Shape they can help by raising the pelvis. Beats her insane attempts.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/bedroom-gear.htm

I forgot one thing...Tom Cruise has to get hit by a bus going at 60 miles per hour...I would laugh...

The question is, how will she reconcile this with santeria? What the fuck will her babalao say about this? C'mon Jenny, you know you're a Puerto Rock from the Boogie Down, you've all about the herbal baths and Catholic/ African santos... (translation for the white folks: Jennifer, you are well aware that you are a Puerto Rican from the Bronx which would mean that you probably adhere to both Catholic and Santeria principles, both of which are often intertwined in the "saints" representing deities from both fatiths. What will your santeria priest think about this?)

I wanna pull J Lo through my monitor and shove her face in my lap.

Wow, now here's a fucking shock. TomKat probably had that whole wedding castle filled with Scientology propoganda and JLo is stupid and desperate enough to fall for it. I honestly can't understand how she can POSSIBLY be attracted to that man, who, if not famous would be the creepy guy on the subway you avert your eyes from.

nothing like asking for a divorce

We are not that big on Santeria RichP. well, the Haitian community is. However all that aside, she's obviously got some pull with the spirits , since she's walking around with a corpse.

Who cares? She's done. Scientology, the last stop on the Washed-Up, Has-Been, Idiot Express.

Xenu and all the clearing you want is not going to help you get fertile, Jen. What you have is an STD infested cootch, a veritable swamp full of fervid beasties, which makes conception near impossible. Skeletor's flaccid sperm are no match for your herpes/syphilis/genital wart cocktail, probably being attacked and devoured by said nasties before ever getting anywhere near your fallopian tubes. So don't bother converting, Xenu will not imprison your veneral diseases in a nearby volcano. Blame all the nasty cocks you had to sit on to "make it". All Scientology can do for you is what it did for TomKat - namely, put you in touch with a discreet baby farm.

i have a feeling their baby's vanity fair cover will be a miniature crypt keeper draped in gucci under soft lighting.

That is one ugly dude.

If she wants to cleanse her system I reccomend a mesquite BBQ flavored douche followed by rinsing her eyes in hot bleach. And, yes, I am a doctor.

omg i fucking LOVE her dress.

she's too old to have babies. and he's too ugly.

Normally I would recommend sex rather than Scientology in trying to conceive -- but I can see why she'd rather avoid the sex route!

http://www.HolyCandy.com

She just needs a 15 second sex-ed refresher course.
You can't get pregnant by having anal sex. I know that's all they're doing because she's married to the gayest guy this side of TC.
Maybe that's why she's turning to Scientology - it worked for Tommy Boy to keep fucking Dawson's cast-off up the ass and they were able to magically have a baby.

#22

Whoa, watch it sister. I'm no JLo fan, but when you start throwing around "too old" at a 36 year old, you're treading on thin ice. I'm 34, with no kids, but I plan on having them, and I don't consider myself "too old".

I just read a de-classifed document submitted to NASA by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. It talks about how Soviet satellites took pictures of a leather assles chaps clad J. Edgar Hoover slipping away from the grassy knoll, but that's not important right now. Aaaaaanyway, it measured how many rolls of toilet paper it takes to wipe that ass. The number is......

*drumroll*

five, yes, five, Charmin Mega Rolls

Yeah that's pretty desperate.

Jennifer Lopez is still alive?

I thought that when you marry the Crypt Keeper you are condemned to a lifetime in a hot firey barren cave never to be seen by human eyes again.

Say What? Ingesting cooking oil? Wouldn't that turn her uterus into a fucking McDonald's? Why doesn't she just scarf down a Big Mac and call it a day? I'm sure if she does that instead she'd have much better results.

"purification rundown" has been running down her thighs for years, except it used to be called 'the drip'.

I'd attack J Lo's ass like a mongoose on a fucking cobra...

There is an age where you should no longer have children for fear of them coming out "special", and she's definately reaching that age.

She actually looks really good, I wish I had legs like that! Her poor hubby needs a queer eye makeover though, ASAP.

Hasn't she always been a member of the nutsos?

http://www.celebslam.com

#9, all you need to do is look around to see the world is FULL of people who shouldn't have kids who are as fertile as rabbits. Lots of great people who struggle to have kids/can't have kids who would make great parents. God has nothing to do with it. Need more convincing? Two words = Brittney Spears.

When you have underwear that has outlasted all three of your previous marriages (and your fling with P-Diddy), bringing children into the world is probably not the best idea.

When you have underwear that has outlasted all three of your previous marriages (and your fling with P-Diddy), bringing children into the world is probably not the best idea.

When you have underwear that has outlasted all three of your previous marriages (and your fling with P-Diddy), bringing children into the world is probably not the best idea.

When you have underwear that has outlasted all three of your previous marriages (and your fling with P-Diddy), bringing children into the world is probably not the best idea.

Wow... a three-peat!

Thankfully she's wearing a bra or some sort of slip under that dress. I've hit my limit on nipslips this week.

She looks so plastic in these pictures it's scary. And I just don't see her having an attractive baby with little rat face over there.

She has some of the most hideously-shaped legs I've ever seen. They're like upside-down chicken drumsticks.

#25 - sorry to offend. it wasn't even a serious comment

#33

These days, that age is about 45 or 50. I'm pretty sure she's not there yet.

she reminds me of Beyonce in these pictures. weirdd.

#44 - What the fuck do you consider nice legs? Nicole Richie? Kate Bosworth? The Planters fucking peanut??? I'd smack J Lo's ass like a fucking red headed stepchild. TOMA!!!!!!!

#45

Its ok. ::sniff::

; ) Sorry, just touched a nerve that's all. No biggie.

ugh 50 year old women having babies? disturbing.

Anyway, back to the bashing. So JLo is a huge bitch, huh?

Here's a crazy idea: Go see a fucking physician! I know, I know, you're scared of proven scientific fact. It's okay, though. A Spanish physician, fine! Just find someone who knows what the hell they are doing! This is not a space alien planted subconscience pseudo idea being. It is a having a fucking baby! It's not difficult to conceive, I promise.

She's starting to look like Victoria Beckham...especially in the second picture.

#48 - Hell no I don't find those skeletal bitches attractive, but chicken legs are gross, dude. Her thighs are big and her calves are super skinny. It looks fucking weird to me.

Beyonce's got great gams. Jessica Biel's got some great legs, too. I think it's nice when the legs are balanced out and meaty.

If that guy that played Slugworth in Willy Wonka humped Ali G, the by-product would probably look something like Marc Anthony.

#52 - I wonder if she's already tried in vitro?

honey, just embrace the fact that your uterus is a barren wasteland. you have been punished by the higher power, whether that be god or xenu or whoever, because you're a raging bitch. end of story.

I don't really care how JLo's baby will look like... but I'm interested in Tootie's baby... she's all knocked up and we don't know who the daddy is!!!

http://www.burntcity.com/blog.dhtm?id=936

I don't really care how JLo's baby will look like... but I'm interested in Tootie's baby... she's all knocked up and we don't know who the daddy is!!!

http://www.burntcity.com/blog.dhtm?id=936

Why is JLo hanging out with Squiggy from Laverene & Shirley?

Jeez, they're all getting brainwashed ...

Am I the only one that thinks they only want a child so the manorexic can drink its blood to stay alive?

I heard about this ridiculous "purification" process on Air America Radio, of all places. Leah Remini was on The Majority Report, Janeane Garofalo's old show, talking about this process. All scientific evidence shows that it's BS. Stay away from these people. The word cult definitely applies to Scientologists.

I like her dress.

There can be no doubt she's the sexually dominant one in this relationship (strap ons included), so why isn't el-wormo the one guzzling Wesson and hittin' the saunas?

Scientologists: comedy fodder for the masses.

Splinter and Selena should never procreate.

Who in the hell would listen to Leah Remini? She is pure evil if you ask me. Attitude!!!!!!!!

Why do these celebs waste time with all these phony flavors of God? Why don't they convert to the ONE UNTRUE RELIGION?

Please, Hollywood. Give me just one SubGenius (other than John Waters)

13013

Why not just dig up a sewer rat, dress it in Dolce and Gabanna and say it takes after the father?

Splinter... ha ha ha.

She does look good. Apart from the distinct aura of conceited bitchskank, of course.

Chola, please! In the past 5 years, have you actually produced anything worth a damn? Especially in collaboration with your men? Just get your Kabbalah on, and buy a Tibetan baby already.

Scientology can cure "Puerta Rican Skank"?

i hate jennifer lopez with all of my heart and soul. she is fine example of bad talent but on the other hand, proves that anyone can make it in hollywood. and now i see her career is a flop and is now turning to scientology for a boost how pathetic i wish she would go away and find some other form of work

further more i thought she an marc anthony broke up? i am really disapointed in him for marrying her i thought he had more class than that

My god! The perfect solution, is for her to be awarded custody of Britney's kids! Then Sean and Jayden will be safe, and JLo won't have to promise her soul to the mighty Hubbard.

What's with Scientology now days, anyway? A few years ago it was Kabbalah (sp?) and you couldn't throw a brick in Hollywood without hitting some desperately aging ex-starlet with a red string around her wrist. Before that, I can't even remember - Meditation? TM? Something like that.

Now it's this crazy Scientology fad. If you want to have kids, why not try Science and leave off the ology? In vitro, anyone?

For that matter, considering that there are millions of starving orphans in the world, why not adopt a couple? No, not as a fad, I mean for REAL. Two children to love and nourish and maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that there's more to life than the next Grammy/Emmy/Fucky award ceremony and dropping 8 million on a dress you'll never wear a second time.

Does anyone in Hollywood actually have talent? Or are they all insane, drunk, whorish, stupid, or all of the above?

#75...I agree with ya. Scientology is another stupid fad that these Hollywood types are jumping onto. You'd think they'd avoid it after Cruise's meltdown a number of months back, but they're not. Even having children has become a contest/fad between Hollywood couples.

He's so nasty. He looks like a walking disease/drug addict.

Its just so sad, it's an evil organization THAT HAS KILLED PEOPLE in the past. And these celebrities dump millions into it, sort of like a secret society except without the secret part.

JLo is too self-absorbed to be a mother...

all that expensive shit she puts on her body to stay forever young probably dried up her eggs...

hey it's nature's way of telling her she cant have everthing....i salute you mother earth !

* ps *- quitting the Botox might help

Jlo looks like a Barbie now. She lost too much weight. She probably does not have enough body fat to be able to conceive

No baby wants them for parents....He's a freak and she's... well...JLo, the music/film industry slut

I'm so not a fan of the fur hag, but it seems she would have chosen a more masculine man, perhaps a man actually bigger and taller than herself. Marc has some dainty little hands there...

#75 Well said EJ well said!!!

JLo talking to her husband

JLo: But honey, scientology gave Tom a baby and he totally loves the cock.

Thanks 84. :)

77, do you want to make a bet on which religion all the celebs will pick up next, earnestly follow for a couple of years, and then slag off in favor of the next hot thing?

I've got 20 bucks on Rastafarianism.

This makes no sense. I want to punch JLo in the face as much as the next girl, but she's always looked like she takes good care of herself. I fail to see how liver destroying saunas are going to magically purify her body when a lifetime of healthy living didn't do it.

Maybe she should try the britney spears purification program-red bull, cheetos, and cigarettes. It's worked for the trailer class for many generations, they breed like fucking rabbits.

76-there are plenty of people with talent. But they are busy producing quality work, not showing their vaginas, smoking crack, joining cults, or showing their vaginas (it deserves a double mention, it's kind of an epidemic this year)

"Hmm...so what you're telling me is that some eccentric, b-rate sci-fi author who dresses like a Navy admiral says that if I chug this jug of Wesson Oil, I can get a baby out of this aging coochie machine? Sounds like a plan! Do you take Visa?"

well, we KNOW his plumbing works, unfortunately. the only reason I can think of why she would want to be with Lurch is that he must have a huge weenie, because damn he's is FUUUUUUUUUUUGLY! ugh, gross! it makes me gag looking at him! if they do procreate, Lord I hope that child comes out looking like the mamma. why is the mamma turning to some freak cult instead of science anyway? does she not have a brain? and if she has to drink cooking oil to cleanse her body, well, we only think that ass is big now, fat calories have 9 calories per unit as opposed to others which only have 4, AND they get stored straight away in the body, and besides that, it is dangerous to drink it, and too much niacin can be dangerous, not to mention the fact that it will make her itch to hell and back...here's a thought, take a vacay, RELAX, get rid of the stress in your life, eat like a normal person instead of the froo froo foods of the to-do society jlo and maybe you'll start popping out the eggs again.

Poor J-Lo...... she'll have a hell of a time giving birth to a big arsed, big headed zombie babie. I actually can't wait to see the baby, it'll give other ugly babies like Shilo and Seal/Klum's baby a run for thier money

Someone please give Mark an extra 50 pounds.

Somebody give this man 50 more pounds.

She looks damn good here,those legs!I gotta say,im still surprised by her choice of a hubby,that little motherfucker must have a third leg.

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

I can't stand her. She's so self absorbed. I hope this Scientology scam doesn't work. What would the community say to that?

Marc Anthony has a great voice, but he still looks like a vampire.

#71: RIGHT ON.

As an aside, has anyone noted her last several appearances looked like she had "cancer" becuase she covered up her hair completely, and now... it's all BOW out there with the extensions? I think she went prematurely gray and the dyes and straightened fucked it all up. WIGSSSS!

Please, chola, get a life and adopt already!!!! There are like 6 million to choose from in Africa alone!

All events leading up to this point can be traced back to Mimi Rogers, she in-snared tom, and he butt fucked travolta and this spread the word of L. Ron Hubbard

Ewwww...their babies will all look like little count choculas. That dude scares the crap out of me. He looks like he could eat someone's face. Does he have fangs??

Scientology is such a joke. L Ron said himself that "The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion"

Thank God they found my grandma's drapes.

I hope the freak gets his nose...

Anyway, you know why I think Tom and Katie's baby has never been seen in public except for the "photoshoot" in the mag...

I think its bc TomKat's REAL baby is highly radiated from the ultrasound machine that they werent supposed to use in-home...

Look at their kid, I morphed my face with a friends face at COSI in 5th grade... What makes you think they didnt have it done for the "photoshoot"...

Scientologists are fuckin wiley...

anyway, hope I failed to make sense...

-Jess

i am sick to death of this has bin washed up hoe. the only reason she is with mark anthony is because her career is washed up and he makes a great meal ticket because he unlike her has talent! now she wants to go into scientology? she is the most pathetic thing in the world and marc anthony took a step down when he chose to be with her.

Jess, I still believe Scientology sprouted a tom look-alike, extracted his sperm and knocked ol' katie up. I will never believe that he fathered that child, nooo way. uh uh. hell I don't even believe he and katie get it on ha ha! that's a laugh!

Drinking cooking oil? That's supposed to cleanse the body? Seems like all she's going to get out of that is high cholesterol and really runny poo.

She's looking really beautiful, though. Gorgeous dress. Pretty hair. Very ladylike and MUCH DIFFERENT than the pictures we've been seeing of other coked up, stumbling drunk, coochie-showing celebrities in the past couple of weeks. It disturbs me that she could look so normal, yet still be considering Scientology to be the answer to her problems.

That Mark Anthony, though. Whewwwww. Maybe their fertility problem lies with him. Can a man produce healthy swimmers when he's that gaunt and malnourished? That poor dude looks like he lives on a diet of heroin, black coffee and cigarettes. Or maybe the blood of unsuspecting pedestrians as they stroll through the cemetery at night.

I still cannot comprehend WHAT she sees in Skeletor-face.

Those creepy scientologists FREAK me out...stay away Jennifer! Just get rid of your troll and find a good looking guy to procreate with.

LOL #104

Agreed. :-P

She looks adorable,all bad comments about her look are just ENVY!

wow, why doesn't she just douche?

I'm a Scientologist and I'll tell you that this crazy story about Xenu is total crap. Some people in the press keep saying that this Xenu story is what Scientologists believe. This is such garbage and it's a story repeated over and over and is intended to keep people from looking into what Scientology actually is. So why would some in the media intentionally try and keep people away from Scientology you ask? Because most media is well paid by the pharmaceutical industry. They see Scientology as a threat to their profits because it is. Scientology has many, many answers that work and are practical. Let's look at 1 example of how the psychiatric drugging industry is hurt by Scientology technology... Let's assume you know someone who has been depressed for several months or even years. Did you know that with Scientology you can literally snap him out of his dark days and make him feel happy again, sometimes in less than five minutes. How could this be? Because Scientology helps and works like nothing else before it. There is no need to be on a psychiatric drug everyday for the rest of your life. This is just one of thousands of solutions Scientology has and it would take literally books to tell you all it has to offer and can do. Give a Scientologist just a few minutes of your time and you'll quickly realize what a sham psychiatry and the psychiatric drugging business is. It's OK to be skeptical about Scientology, but don't assume that what you've been told about it is actually true. Just ask yourself would all these celebrities be involved in it if didn’t help them and others tremendously?

HTTP://WWW.WHATISSCIENTOLOGY.ORG