Dec 30 2006Holy mother of Jebus

Sorry to hear.
Good luck with putting it all back together =)

it was? It worked fine for me...

Ballsack is going to love this. He should buy you guys a new hard drive that fails more often.

By the way, the front page is awesome hilarious and I thank you for making my day less shit.

Btw...

This is why you should have a RAID 1+0 setup on your servers Mr. Fish. I suggest you bitch slap the tech until he sets it up for you. Basically, it's a stripe of mirrors. Each HD has a mirror so it's 1+1 HA. N+1 HA wouldn't work for a site like this, although it would be more cost effective. Then just make it so that everything older than 2 years goes into a slower/cheaper storage server.

Cool!! Now I'm going to go an post 'FIRST' in all the forums!!!

FACE!

I think I said something like;

1. WHORE!
2. DRUNKEN WHORE!
3. DRUNKEN ANOREXIC WHORE!
4. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR VAGINA!
5. HA HA, EVERYONE LAUGH AT K-FED!

Dang that sucks. Good luck getting it back together.

you poor things! good luck this weekend and keep the awsomeness coming.

Good luck this weekend.

There's a forum...?

Good luck with the repairs =)

I guess the 'Fish DIDN'T get a new strain of supercrabs from those last pics of Paris after all!

I'm glad it'll only take the weekend to fix. Good luck.

Now what to do with this Kwellada Home Computer Sweeper....

Paris Hilton showering must have just been too damn much for the server. It was too damn much for me. Eeeuhgggg...

I specifically remember calling Libraesque a filthy, whorish lesbian just because I couldn't think of anything else to write in my hungover state. Then she got pissed because I was right & she can't figure out how I knew she was a lesbo because she was still in the closet. I'll tell you how I knew... I am the awesome, that's why. Think I'm gonna go to bed now.

Well most the Archive comments since Sepetember appear to be back up, but it seems he lost all the funny ones.

OH NO! The comments, the beautiful comments. It's mainly 'FIRST!!!!!!!!!' anyway. You should ban that type of behaviour.

Speaking as the Kodiak bear's attorney, I would like to state that it was NOT rape, but rather was consensual. Prove otherwise bitches!

PHEW! MY POSTS WERE DELETED?

My political career has been saved!

This was the generous act of a benevolent god to remove the troll ranting from us for good. I could have sworn I read about this in Revelations... oh shit, gotta shave my balls... the rapture is surely upon us.

By the way Mr. Fish, you didn't hear a 'plick' did you?

don't bother restoring the archives, here's a recap of the last 3 months:

RichPort: "I have a big IQ and an even bigger cock."

jrzmommy: "I'm saracastic and I hate everybody. Shut up and leave now."

Angry Ferret Jones: "Now I'm really angry!"

PrettyBaby: "You guys seem really cool, can I be your friend?"

that's pretty much it. now you're free to go on a 3-day drug/alcohol binge for New Years, as god intended.

Dammit!

Just when things were becoming interesting beteween biatcho and Libraesque the comments dissolve into the ether.

I think it was around the 475th comment...

aw fish....it's ok.....Kodiak bears can be rough if you clench. Just need to relax and go with it. If you give the bear some E beforehand, he's a lot more receptive to your pleas to be gentle.

Raped by a kodiak bear? I've had that ones, but I have to say...it wasn't as good as being taken by the duracell rabbit. Boy, let me tell ya!

#19 - Or not...

Glad to see you're such a voracious reader and note-taker... you should change you name to the stenographer.

Bleh, getting raped by a Kodiak bear is overrated, now Polar bears on the other hand ...

oops sorry #22, you had that covered.

pffft.. bear.

I don't think it's very fair to make APOTH work all New Year's Eve trying to fix this.

But anally raping him is okay. I mean...as long as it's a small bear...

If you outsource your server, I would put a bullet in the brain of your technician...one backup every three months?! You know how much kiddie porn I'd lose if I only backed up every 3 months?!?!??!?

If you do your own backups, well then shame on you. And shame on me, because I dont have a site 1/10th as sweetass as yours. good luck with the server problems, happy new year!

#19 that is pretty funny though ...

but it went more like this:

RichPort: i love me shorn balls and i just can't stop rubbin em

jrzmommy: now rich, stop that. move over and let mommy take over

RichPort: MOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

jrzmommy: damn kids. home from school already? go grab a hot pocket, mommy's busy.

jrzdaddy: hands off my woman port

RichPort: AH AH AHHH AHHHHHH OHHHHHHOHOH MMMMMMM YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

RichPort: Fucking trolls. Posts 19-25 were not me. I can prove it. I was shaving my balls from 5:32am-7:38am.

UNWASHEDMASSES: I've been trolled I tell ya! See that hugantic post of my that posted 3x!!!! I've been trolled!!!!

jrzmommy: I'd hit it.

RichPort: Yeah, me too.

jrzmommy: Fuck this shit.

Beware, Fish - the viruses from the skanky bad-ginas have regenerated and taken down the site! Keep a cross, garlic and silver bullet with you. And alcohol, but that goes without saying. Thanks for keeping us entertained at the cost of your own safety.

We will rebuild....and TCLTC. Still.

Oh, the humanity! Gone, all gone! The 400 posts through Xmas between mirandawilde, Libraesque, biacho, and jrzmommy debating Brangelina's charity work! Descriptions of the seamy underbelly that is Shitney's twat! All the many, many TCLTC's tragically wiped away! The Ass Ferret troll obsessing over butt-fucking! Damn you Parisite or Hohan for fucking the SF server and giving it a virus.

The upside: No hard-return utterances from herbiefrog.

TCLTC!

My posts get backed up separately. I am sure they will all be there when things turn back on.

THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS! It couldn't have happened to a nicer website! LOL

Polish your nastiness
Sharpen your tongues
Your potty archives
Have come undone!

"It's up to you guys to remember exactly what you said and the order you said it in and recreate the comments section."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Like these woman hating rejects and celebrity haters could EVER work together to put this stream of crap back together!

"...feels like we've been anally raped by a kodiak bear."

Karma DUDE! You had it coming!

Sorry, I was logged in as my mztry account for that last comment.

i was worried last night when I couldnt get in, i thought it had been shut down completely. Glad to see your back!

@34/35 hahahahaha, uh uh, what the fuck are you going on about?
We are still here
We haven't changed
We are gonna keep doing the same thing
You are still a douchebag.

What kind of server is not set in a raid config??
You need a server with RAID 5, 4 hardrives, 1 spare, Then connect that server to a backup like a Buffalo Network Backup unit(1 Terra Byte). Works for me, never lost any data, or had a customer that lost any also.

I LOVE REFERRING TO PEOPLE BY NUMBERS

#37 does not read thoroughly

Need a system admin? I'm for hire. Apparently i'm extremely qualified seeing as I know how to backup more often than every 3 months.

#39,I read your celebratory ramblings again "t.h.o.r.o.u.g.h.l.y" and guess what, you're still a douche-bag.

LOL @ #6.

Sucks about ths site though.

Hahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

www.VeryLiberating.com

I find it very interesting, looking back through the archives, that the Angie/Brad post was not returned after the "wipeout"...

Just please bring back the Julia Roberts thread, I have a whole list of baby names for her...

oh shit! bad news!

you can check out www.carpemundus.com until thesuperficial gets back up and running. you know, as professional courtesy...

www.carpemundus.com - nice guys

When ya think of it your really not going to miss anything losing your archives because these losers ya write about are just going to fuck up even more in 2007, So why not just start over fresh.

FIRST!!!!?????!!!!!????!!!!!!???? or maybee 48? but im going with FIRST

Ahh, I like coming onto this site and commenting :( Oh well, the site doesn't update on weekends anyway and tomorrow is the last day of 2006 :O

#29 - Nice to see Ass Ferret still trying to suck my dick going into the new year. Dude, take a hint: I. Do. Not. Like. Guys. Real nice and slow for ya... (I bet that's what all the boys say to you...)

you said you could fix it with 5 coconuts.liar. now i don't believe you about the size of your johnson either.

Like I said... KARMA!

Say something NICE
about someone you don't like
And in 2007
Your life will be HEAVEN!

Jezuz Khrist! For what I pay for this site it seems like you'd... oh wait... Sorry to hear about the issues. Glad to see you're coming back up.

noooooooooooooo!!! my wonderful screen name! i registered after september! :( so long zack morris...you will be missed....well probably not but still.....wait does this mean Pilaf can come back?

Shame on you!!! I'm the kodiak Bear!!! RUAAAAAAAAAR

LOL @ #22

Good luck with the fix. Regardless, you're still my favorite guilty pleasure site and even if you start from scratch, I'll be here to check out the "news" and the hilarity in the comments.

DAMN Biatcho, you still crushin' on me? I know you are cuz my Myspace got hit 23 times yesterday morning during our lovefest here.

xoxoxoxox

And I told the funniest joke I've ever told there in that lost pile.

SHIT! you know how hard it is going to be for me to find the "Brit giving head" video now!

I'm glad you guys are back! I thought Britney's vag attacked you or something.

*whew*

Hey that sucks. On the bright side, I remember everything I said. Mariah is fat and stuck on herself. Paris has a smelly crotch. Britney's is worse. Lindsay has too many freckles and her crotch is apparently on fire but in a bad way. K'Fed is a joke but really his whore-ish, soon to be retardo ex, is kinda, well worse. That's it. I think that's all I said and in that order. I'm pretty sure. Well kinda sure.

Sassy, you speak for a lot of us.
Give it a few days and the order will change, trust me.

Backups? We don need no stinking backups. The past is that thing that just happened three milliseconds ago and is...wait, what was I talking about? Shit, lemme check the backups.

Oh yeah, we don't need any backups. Hope everyone's ready for the new year's fun and games. I expect a lot out of you fuckers. There will be a three-day new year's grace period to account for brain damage. After that: game on.

The key question here is... did the Kodiak use Astroglide, KY or spit. I mean, really, it can change the whole outcome of being analy raped. Of course a complimentary reach around helps tame the beast too.

Oh, thank God it was "just" a server problem - when I tried going online last night (shortly after Saddam Hussein's execution) I couldn't get on ANY site, and this one gave me the server message. I thought the terrorists had finally won.

OK, picking up when we left off.....

Saddam Hussein Moder.

Astroglide K.Y. Kodiak Analrape Moder.

Hiawatha Nouvel Moder.

Hey you got the "Jebus" from Homer Simpson. LOL.

Jebus Apple Moder.

Topper Moder Nutter

Beyonce Abdul Moder

Madrid Router Moder

Ice Ice Moder

Prius Electric Moder

#50 i honestly don't know who assferret is

but one thing i do know ... everytime you post an incorrect assumption like that he is laughing his ass off

sadly, just as you keep defending your heterosexuality, you keep falsely assuming there is one single person out there who thinks you are an ASS.

This sucks superfish dude, I had the 500 post for the brangelina fake humaitarian story,

Do not fret, Sr. Superfish, as I doubt that any of the lost comments were astoundingly deep to a point that their loss will be a detriment to the superfish society.

I, on the otherhand, had posted a number of complicated proofs for safekeeping, but alas, loss is a large part of the life of a seasoned mathematician and I shall overcome.

Hmm... good luck!

Yeah! Julia Roberts is knocked up!

Names for the new kid:

Outboard Moder
Briggs & Stratton Moder (another set of twins)
Clem Jehosephat Moder
Ass Ferret Moder
Elmer Zeke Moder

(sigh) well I'm not rewriting any of my fuckin comments. Though it doesn't really piss me off so much.

Hezekiah Balch Moder

(Actually a name in my family minus the 'Moder')

All I wanted for Christmas was a freakin' Double Dong, with dual ass blaster pulsating heads, and Bluetooth, so I could control it with my Dad's cell phone, once he showed me how.

I waited in the line for over an hour to talk to that fat bearded bastard in the red suit, and all I got was a subscription to NAMBLA Life, from my friend. Thanks Hannakuh Harry!

And I do not shave my balls! I make good use of the pube forest to hide my micro-schlong. If you squint hard in bad light, you'd swear I was a fat Italian chick, instead of a Jewish queen.

This much is true, I will still be as much of a retarded cock whore in 2007 as I was in 2006. Happy New Years, ass clowns!

And for the record, I still think that I am ridiculed by only one poster, and that my 'Fish-friends' are not really 300 pound pedophiles, and that my uncle was just trying to find a missing toy all those times he shoved his dick up my ass, ...

ahh, now it makes sense...

ciao

-jess

Sorry for your loss, Mr. Fish. Somebody should die for this.

@ 4 - Listen to that dude. Especially the part about bitch slapping the tech.

Double Dong Moder.

Mom Why Does Your Breath Smell Like Daddy's Asshole? Moder

If someone only clued you in on how easy it is to generate backups from most webservers, you could have done your own at least weekly, but I swear, you could have a backup running every day in the background while you typed your articles.

In addition, any webhost worth their salt does nightly incremental backups and full backups at least monthly.

Fire your tech advisor-- he sucks.

oh noes! it happend again didn't it...

Sorry about the crash but seriously, can you fucking idiots stop with the "FIRST!" comments. Worthless.

FIRSTEST!

" If it makes you feel any better the past 12 hours feels like we've been anally raped by a kodiak bear."

...and not in a GOOD way.

Happy New Calendar, Superficial.. you have brightened up what has turned out to be a really shitty year for me.

Much love and all the best for 2007... May your new year be filled wih Paris Hiltons,K-Feds, alcohol, vomit and fistfights!!!

Luvyameanit and TCLTC!!!

(94)Thank you so much dear!How thoughtfull of you,at the moment i'm indeed enjoying the new year just over an hour now.According to the Superficial-time i'm 17 hours ahead at the moment.Till now 2007 looks good to me,but doesn't anything else look good after several bottles of booze and a girl on my lap which name i can't remember?I hope you all enjoy your last day of the year and for the ones which just like myself have already arrived in the new year,happy new year!

i love the holidays ... drink beer all day, don't shower, just me and my laptop hangin out here with my buds

aint life grand? my pussy stinks

hey rich = i do think we have more than one hater. WE'RE FAMOUS!!

i still cant figure out why we are singled out though. think i'll ponder that for awhile. but god forbid we change our id's. for christs sake i want to be known as who i really am always. why should i change my id? im popular here.

what do you wanna bet if richport and jrzmommy changed their id's there'd be haters the next day on both their new id's. hmmmm you can't change your true colors.

i'm hanging on to this id for all eternity bitches.

That's really bites the big one, Grand Super-F. Good luck!

I've already reposted some of my blog comments. I've reposted as well those of my fellow bloggers (as is, of course), even an entire set of comments for one story. I will continue to do more this week. (I save everything: I come from a line of collectors/horders. ...A man needs a maid/editor.)

Now I bring the love despite/because of the moderator's & most of the Super-F bloggers continual hate-on for my 2 fav stars, Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan. I DO like them both anyway. For example, I declared like you care that Lindsay's "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" is the best single of the year, & "Paris" is the best album of 2006.

BUT I have you to thank that they have become my absolute favs. Because you & the media & the loud majority spit on them so much, regularly wishing them violence & death, declaring them the # 1 & 2, respectively, most hated celebs in Hollywood. I am a punk/ alternative-let-her-rip-rocker/ against-the-grainer fr way-back, so thanks for the reverse motivation. Cheers!

Congratulations as well are in order: Yahoo announced that The Superficial is the #2 top blog search of the year. Perez Hilton & Pink Is... are #'s 1 & 3 respectively. I am here to your disgust for I find Super-F is easily the classiest of the 3 sites. The page design is classy, our blond mascot w/the hidden eyes looks hot, & the motto rules ..."The Superficial. Because you're ugly." - As Curly Howard would say, I represent that remark! ...& I appreciate the Grand Super-F not marking up the story photos. The other sites feature silly, ugly graffiti on their pics. But the Super-F shows more class: yes, the star still gets ripped but in the comments, allowing us to each look at the pics & then draw our own conclusions.

Mine: 1), celebrities are to be both criticized AND celebrated, 2), room for alternative POV's is a room w/a view worth visiting, 3), For auld lang syne, my dear/ for auld lang syne/ we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet/ for auld lang syne... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

"we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet?"

No kindness here
only spite
lots of darkness
and no light

God bless us everyone!

(Who knows who may find their 15 minutes of fame?)

I am laughing so much right now. "The Superficial, apparently written by a single male heterosexual author." wikipedia.com. Oh yes, about the loss of the valuable, yet fart provoking insights posted daily in this Christ centered haven, I am deeply saddened and send my condolences to the family of president Ford:)

if thesuperficial goes down for good, im gonna jump off the top of my house, head first...then start going to carpemundus.com

www.carpemundus.com - doing the doggone thang

Dental Dam Moder
Poser Moder
Moocher Moder
Mode O Day Moder
Ala Mode Moder

thanks for starting the baby name suggestions #81

@97.....SUPERFICIAL RULES!!!!!

for the new year I wish for all the suprfish regulars: LONG LIFE, HEALTH and more spite from that dark place we keep deeeep inside our hearts..and may DEATH COME SWIFTLY TO ALL OUR ENEMIES!!!!!

tcltc

"anally raped by a Kodiak bear"

I want to met the person who haded you that referent.

On second thought, no, I don't...

#103

WTF??!!??

I don't feel sorry for any "admin" that backs up once every three months and doesn't have a redundant drive array for the online data. I mean are you joking? Not even RAID1? How long does that take to setup, about 5 seconds? With the pidly costs of storage these days, this is unacceptable.

Motor Boat Moder
Oversize Asshat Modor
Unicorn Modor
Rodom Modor

(104)That's right!We'll defending our pride and arses and soon we're gonna take over the Galaxy and making fun of the alien-celebrities as well!Muahahahahaa!

Mom's Accessory Modor

In 2007, all trolls will hereforth be referred to collectively as Ass Ferret, whether or not they are actually him (it?). I hope you made self-esteem and originality your top two resolutions this year, as well as vowing to attempt to cease your propensity for dick riding. I asked Santa to give each of you trolls melanoma on your genitals (if he could find the little fuckers). He considers the mall Santas trolls also, so he decided to afflict them first. Santa sure is gangsta...

#109 give it a fucking break, nobody cares

@100 - Yeah, your site is the shit!! I love it!!! WAIT, NO I DON'T!!!!! IT SUCKS ASS!!! IT IS FULL OF WEAK ASS SHIT!!! I JUST FUCKED YOUR MOM!!! YOU EAT SHIT!!!

Trolls, trolls
Stupid as fuck
The more they post
The more they suck
The more they suck
The dumber they appear
Hope they get anally raped
By a Kodiak bear

its ok...

we'll just

...go back
...in time
...and

restore

[btw... b a c k u p s ? : ))) ]

ps. fuck you al;l and TCLTC [allegedly]

opps meant #32
or thereABOUTS...
oops caps
oops
oo...

#110 - Are you new here? The line to blow me forms around the block there.. no skips... stupid fucking Ass Troll...

idk the site wasnt down 4 me AND im still registered...but w/e its all good

well, great to have you back up!

god damn!!
good you got it back.