Dec 7 2006Beyonce's head is, uh, falling apart

eh, I'd still fuck her. or that thing on her head. mmmm ribbed....

a lobotomy is performed in the frontal lobe of the brain, and they go in through the nose, so there are no stitches...

i'm guessing it's from a wig and the plaster... but.. still... wouldnt you check that before going out? since you're going to be singing and stuff?

While I'm usually eagar to comment about the celebs on here, I gotta say....

anybody who thought Beyounce's hair was real is stupider than a Lohan.

Oh that's probably some dried Crazy Glue which dripped from her extensions.

she looks a bit like a klingon.

FOURTH!!!

Quick, someone get a bucket -- her brain's about to fall out!!!

Yesss my photoshop skills are around the world now.

http://theblemish.com/2006/12/beyonces-face-is-melting/

And, not only is her hair fake, so is her whole face....

http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/beyonce.htm

looks like dried jizz

It looks like veins popping out when she hits high notes.

I still can't stop feeling my forehead to make sure i am still good.

The only way she would have veins that big on her head is if she were a sperm whale.

I still can't stop feeling my forehead to make sure i am still good.

I knew she was too pretty to be human!

It kinda looks like Brittney's C-section

Damn, #5 beat me to it! I also wondered if she was part Klingon ...

Boost your body and brain.

Holy crap! Is it that important to have long straight blonde hair?

Yeah, it's like the part of the wig keeping it on her head has come out of place. It's still a really disturbing effect, and about as embarrassing.

Re: poster 7---why is your site logo essentially stolen from The Superficial's? Hell, the name even has similar connotations. Is being original that hard?

She's a Cardassian! I knew it!

It is a lace front wig. She has been wearing them for years and so has Tyra Banks. If Tyra would have had a better hair stylist (check pics of a line going across that forehead of hers on any red carpet pic and you will see what I’m talking about) then the secret of lace front wigs would have never came out, so she should thank Tyra for letting the celebrity long time beauty secret out to the public.

If you could see the other side of her head... there is one on that side too.....

It's where Jay-Z grips her head while she blows him........

What does Lace Front Wig mean?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0WBHI-Wl94

Video of Jessica Simpson biting the big one in front of Dolly Parton.

Dear sweet bloody Jesus, is that the sign of the beast???

you all need to get with it...

This is not Beyonce. It's Tom Cruise in another of his famous Mission Impossible masks.

Why, you ask, would Tom Cruise be out pretending to BeYonce?

Because he loves the cock, of course.

Lace Front Wig is when a guy eats a girls asshole from behind while she zips up his scrotum in a zipper.

Whoaa, what the fuck is that on the side of her head? It looks like so shit out of that movie The Faculty. I'm shivering just now thinking about.

Her head is ribbed... for my pleasure this time!

Finally, I gets mine!

@5, I've read that her breath also smells like a Klingon's after a night of eating rancid Gagh.

yup time to pull out the Box Set, after I shave my back.

Is she a fucking Chia Pet come to life?

Insiders are saying working with BK's wig line in Austin Power's was the inspiration for Mike Myers' - "That's a man Baby!"

You guys fucking crack me up.

I just KNEW she was a fucking alien!!! I have been warning people for years that she is a whiny, scaly-skinned, titless, one-legged circus freak who escaped from the Planet Triskellion...

Why don't people believe me? If all of you are so smart, look it up in the Weekly World News, it's next to that article about the Siamese twin pyromaniac lesbian hookers...

She needs to upgrade her damned self.

Fellow Superfishers, trolls, Romans, countrymen, I'm just going to give up, why are these people famous? Where are our Diana Rossesesss' our, The Doors, our, Run Dmcssses our Rolling Stones (not the night of the livng dead version) our, I don't know, ARTISTS?!?!?!?!?

#20

WTF did you write? Really. Please read that shit you wrote and tell me if you think any reader could make out WTF you are trying to say.

GOD DAMN!

#34 - ha ha. good one.

She looks like something Sigourney Weaver should be sparring with - the best part of that photo is she looks like she is about to go down on that microphone...

...what a cunning stunt...

Let ME take a crack at it #36, this is what it said "I looooove Tyra Banks' shit and I eat it for braekfast, lunch, and dinner"

but I'm just paraphrasing...

QuchwIj yIyach! DeSwIj choptaH 'e' bomev !

#41 - Go back to Africa.

maybe she burnt herself with her hair straightener.....

it's a lace front wig. the glue is fucking up because of th face she's making. tyra wears a lace front too.

#40

Uh huh...now I see it. Thank you very much.

Looks like a brain aneurysm from trying to hit the high notes - it sometimes happens to Paris Hilton when she is going down on a really large penis, since she doesn't have a brain so there's nothing to get in the way...

#45 - actually I copied an explanation of the problem from some other sight to hopefully make sense of what is going on with her face.

I apologize if the use of the English language offends you in an way.

Lo siento mucho.

Aw shit - I mean "in any way".

7, your banner looks like it was made by someone who's been using Photoshop all of 5 minutes... and who is hoping the CLEAVAGE!!! will keep us from noticing.

Did anyone else watch a show in the 80's called V? Where aliens who looked like humans would peel off their skin, revealing their lizard-like appearance, and then eat their human companion? Jay-Z, the signs are glaringly obvious. Get out before she gets you!

I once got a Lace Front Wig from Italian Stallion in the back of his Camaro. We were so high....

Obviously it's the alien slug that controls her brain squirming just under the surface of her skin. Whether or not it's trying to just get a more comfortable position or it's actually losing control of its host body (you know there's recent evidence to the latter) is something I couldn't tell you. What do I look like, an expert or something? Go call one of them NASA cover-up people what have been talkin' to them moon men for years without telling us. Fuckers.

#42. It's Klingon. http://www.kisa.ca/klingon-phrases.html

I wrote: Fondle my forehead! Stop gnawing at my arm!

Click my name for the original pics at dpreview.

Nope. Nope. I believe its her ego that's busting out of the side of her chemically relaxed head. Yup.

#53 - No thanks!

KAHN!!!!!!!!!

#42 - ROTFLMFAO!
#50 - I remember "V". Remember when that chick gave birth to the half-human, half-alien twins, and when the second one came out, everyone freaked? I was really young then, so that scared the crap out of me!
And then the weekly series just belched a huge turd. Yes . . . the turd was released via a belch.

i don't know what it is but i think she's a lot older than she says she is. supposed website lists her as 32 rather than 25. i don't know..she seems to not have aged since age 18 when destiny's child had begun it's heyday. i wish i had the formula to that. but then again, judging by this pic, it seems to cause testicular skin to pop up in random places.

http://www.celebridirt.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/beyonce-fake-age.jpg

She's a real-life version of that hot chick in Keenan Ivory Wayan's "I'm Gonna Get You, Sucka", the one who when he gets her home she pops off a wig to reveal a bald head, pops out a pair of falsies, disconnects a fake leg and drops a false ass. Jay-Z must pray no sex tape ever surfaces. People would mistake it for him wrestling with the Elephant Man naked.

# 50 The best Alien movie ever is "They Live" with Rowdy Ronny Piper (a good Canadian whose fighting cancer currently.)
Put on your sunglasses people...

Well, ok, maybe the best alien movie with Roddy (Ronny) Piper in it directed by John Carpenter.

uh, when fake bitches fall apart...

Digusting.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Maybe it's the earwigs trying to escape. Even they couldn't take it anymore.

@61 you a Carpenter fan Binky?

clearly she botoxes and they missed a spot...i think dr. ray may have been responsible

@ #7. WOW. TheBlemish.com is a total knockoff of TheSuperficial. That should be illegal. The format, the logo, the style of writing, even the jokes are similar to the respective posts! WOW!!

#65 - Who ISN'T a Carpenter fan? I'm pretty sure I know the audio commentary for The Thing by rote by now.

I mean... uh, audio commentary? Pffft. I'm too busy getting drunk with Lucy Liu to listen to that nerdy shit. Y-yeah, that's it... *nervous laugh*

#65 Oops - I had to have dinner. I like 'They Live' Barbo. I don't know his whole shebang.

@68 If you've driven the Pork Chop Express then you know what to say when you're going down that road, on a dark a stormy night and they ask you if you've paid your dues.

Have you paid your dues?

:)

oops sorry, anyway, Carpenter is one of the few good left. I even like d Ghosts of Mars.

it's definately the effects of botox. the area around her face is literally making no wrinkles, except the area that isn't affected by the botox.

you can't sing to that extent and not have one single wrinkle on your face.

#70 - Well, I don't know what I'd say personally, but I'm sure Jack Burton would tell me to say "the cheque is in the mail"... er, or some such thing.

Funny thing is, I watched that film not two nights ago... not funny ha ha, obviously.

#71 Didn't see it - will check it out.
Cheers

Looks like she didn't quite get all of jay-z's money shot wiped off...

I've seen this before.

On South Park.

It's a dead fetus.

She is really an Alien and that is why she always has this wierd look on her face.

it's probably one of those masks with hair attached...she just slips on the ensemble to save time ....this one was probably too big for her, thats why we're seeing the air bubbles

that picture is from the TODAY show earlier this week. i guess it will take someone's face falling off for people to realize that too much surgery is just too much.

http://www.lacefrontwigstore.com/

In case you want to order your own lace front wig....

What that is I still dont know....

Is there a crack ho or a Tyra here that can explain that?

I asked my maid and she just said ... " eat ya soup ya cracka mutha fucka....."

Shit ... no kwanza for her...

Oh my God! It is just like in the movie "Death Becomes Her" when Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep have to spray paint themselves to look good and Bruce Willis has to give them touch ups. Classic!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Ribbed for HER pleasure!

Oh my god. Just, oh my god. Doesn't she have People to tell her when her face is starting to drip off? She should hire some.

All the ladies wearin' a hairpiece:
Throw yo' hands up at me.

Damn, I shouldn't be learning about important shit 'lace front' wigs on a blog. Man, I want one. There's even a video about it on Youtube.com from this link.
http://www.wigbar.com/

That fucking scares me.

That's so freaking gross. You would think she would notice something this grotesque on her face.

boy someone put too much glue on her face, didn't they! hahah! it does look weird! whew! the things they go through to make themselves appear to be above average.

I really didn't want to post today at all..but seeing this made me kind of squeal like a 5 year old..I touched my forehead constantly to see if it was ok..

Also.."I've also masturbated twice." ...that was uncalled for. I want to see evidence now.

#35, i'd much rather watch and listen to this woman, than watch & listen to this thing up on stage!-
http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/5356/skjdkj7.png

Ew, this has been more educational than Lindsay Lohan's masterpiece essay.

Do they make this lace in different colours? Or does it only come in 'Michael Jackson' (nobody knows if it's white, brown or black)?

#2 lobotomies used to be performed by peeling down the forhead skin and drilling and slashing. Then they were done through the eye socket.

But as Tom Waits sang: "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy..."

This is unfair, she gets paid zillions by L'oreal because of her hair, and she actually wears wigs which fall apart??! This is inadequite, as Lindsay would put it.

Hey you guys from L'Oreal, I can be your next model. I'm bald, but I can also wear a nice wig, and I could use some extra cash...

But I'm wondering, what does her REAL hair look like. Is she bald? Is she a man?

Sucks not being able to sport good hair.

Multi-tasking, baby?

gay..

That looks real nasty.Good thing we only have dirty dog sex,the back of her head pretty much stays the same.Unless my aims off.

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

This is hilarious. First, I want to thank all of you for your Viciously funny comments.
I hit this site regularly and read dull comments but not today. I'm laughing so hard.

We must be getting to the end of the world. Women no longer have any more secrets and we can see them for what they really are...desperate people trying to be something their not. Reminds me of some guys I know.

In closing, Beyonce can teach us a lot. It goes something like this, " At first, we started off cool...but I need you to keep paying my telephone bills...keep paying my automobile bills...so maybe we can...just chill..."

Fuck that wig shit... I'd still like to put some cream in her latte, even if she was fucking bald.

I agree that the mark looks like a Frankenstein scar... but c'mon people- it's just a wig. And you're all really surprised she wears wigs? LOTS of people- especially performers wear them. Hell, I'm a nobody and I have lots of hair pieces for days I just don't feel like dealing with fixing all my own hair (wigs and pieces never get "messed up) and times when the hair has to stay perfect and not fall or get all funked out after a few hours.
This is no big secret... haven't you men noticed all the Hair Stores that exist? Guess what? They sell wigs and hair pieces at the HAIR STORE!
Now lemme go adjust my weave, niggas....

The only black women who are considered to be good looking are light skinned, more caucasian featured, and wear caucasian looking wigs.

hahahah justme, You are always the life of any (kkk) party!

I would like to use Barbado Slim as my sextoy. Having said that I must tell you that she is still damn hot people. Her body is phenomenal. But her hair is about 2 inches long and she does wear wigs/extensions. Big Fucking deal!

Everyone knows your hair is fake, Beyonce. Embrace your nappiness and ditch the wigs. You can be the Macy Gray of the R&B set.

Curses! The bitch is revealing my pod people plan early! I'll get you Beyonceeeeee!

http://www.papparelli.com

The truth shall set us free:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilian_humanoid

Its not too late...

that's gross - her wig's falling off

this is all fake!!

it lools really like flabby skin

OMG! What's going on with the side of her head? Beyonce, girl, I love you, but you've GOT to do better
--Talya

OMG!!! Beyonce's head is, uh, falling apart

#42 #99 #57 Fuck you all and ride back into the kkk you all crawled out of