December 8, 2006
Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe not getting married

A rep for Beyonce is denying reports she's turning a Caribbean birthday party for Jay-Z into a wedding with him. A spokeswoman for Jay-Z backed the statement saying she had no knowledge of any approaching nuptials. Which is good news because if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married it'd be a travesty against nature. You don't see unicorns marrying opossums. Sure, maybe it's because one is a mythological creature. But maybe it's because deep down they know in their hearts their love can never be.
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Comments
1. Posted by fearsarewishes on December 8, 2006 9:24 AM
I don't care about these two.
2. Posted by fuctheworld on December 8, 2006 9:31 AM
than the lord it is not another skanky spears vag shot...
3. Posted by lohanjob on December 8, 2006 9:32 AM
could it be because Jay-Z saw the pictures of Beyonce's face falling off on the superficial the other day?
4. Posted by mmbelle on December 8, 2006 9:33 AM
idk, i think its nice to hear about someone other than hohan/britney once in a while. (i'm not saying i don't enjoy reading about the stupid things they do)
anywayS, would they be like mr.&mrs.-z ? beyonce-Z?
5. Posted by girl69 on December 8, 2006 9:33 AM
she decided to stick with the birthday party only after jay-z showed her the prenup
6. Posted by MizScarlett on December 8, 2006 9:34 AM
Hey, "B" - I hear Russell Simmons is available.
Of course, after Godzilla - OOPS! - Kimora, he'll need serious retooling. Because I hear she got his in the divorce.
7. Posted by PrettyBaby on December 8, 2006 9:36 AM
Where's Rich, this would be music to the Big Cocked Man.
8. Posted by Von Dutch on December 8, 2006 9:38 AM
Her father also confirmed on the radio that they weren't going to get married.
It was kind of saddening to me. It's known Jay wants to settle down and have a family...
9. Posted by Italian Stallion on December 8, 2006 9:41 AM
@8 wrong site faggot..........
10. Posted by enfilade on December 8, 2006 9:45 AM
More rumor denial?!?! This isn't common for this couple!
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
11. Posted by RoseColoredGlasses on December 8, 2006 9:50 AM
I don't know what to say....I kinda hate Beyonce lately for all her diva behavior...thinking she's the shit, and no one else is...OOPS..i forgot thats ALL of Hollywoodland...so basically, I kinda hate all celebrities!
12. Posted by PrettyBaby on December 8, 2006 9:57 AM
#8 :"It was kind of saddening to me. It's known Jay wants to settle down and have a family..."
HUH? It's time to get a life, ya think?!
13. Posted by CelebSlam.com on December 8, 2006 9:58 AM
Who would want a marry a chick with such a horrible wig anyways?
http://www.celebslam.com
14. Posted by DrunkBlogger on December 8, 2006 10:09 AM
#6 - Yeah man, fuck that broad. She is such a gold digger. Russell deserves better than that shit.
15. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 10:10 AM
Oh Beyonce, you're time has cum, er, I mean come. I know you're a frigid bitch... let's let Big Daddy RichPort (I know you like rappers) warm it up for you, shall we? A nice backrub, some classic Marvin Gaye... perhaps a tall glass of your favorite vintage Alize... baby, I will shear whatever farm animal you need me to to make whatever kind of wig you need.... plus I speak Kingon: jsÇhga hiuuh ñzc Éçaja. Huh? What do you think..? You know Jay's a groupie-boning wannabe... yea, I know I'm broke as a joke and married, but c'mon Ms. Knowles, give me some target practice on that pretty little face of yours... we can even let J Lo watch. Call me!!!
16. Posted by Jayson Blair on December 8, 2006 10:23 AM
#12 quit going for sloppy seconds, #9 already hit that (better)
17. Posted by PrettyBaby on December 8, 2006 10:35 AM
#16 Great minds think alike I guess, fuckface.
18. Posted by leezastudio on December 8, 2006 10:46 AM
She sucks ass, did you guys read about her real age? she 32, that lying whore. Her young age is all that she had going for her at the beginning, no one would have cared about a fat assed 28 years old back then, i really hope it's true. Even if it's not, she still sucks and i hope her face peels off.
This is where i read about her age http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com/
19. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on December 8, 2006 10:46 AM
I heard it had something to do with her Lace Front Wig.
20. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 10:50 AM
#18 - She can suck my ass, teabag me, toss my fucking salad. There are very few chicks that are as hot as her... I'd like to give her the Arabian helmet... niiiiiice...
21. Posted by jrzmommy on December 8, 2006 10:51 AM
wow, i guess she's gonna be an old maid now. who would ever want to marry such an old ugly thing? Rich......
22. Posted by MrSemprini on December 8, 2006 10:53 AM
She's marrying him so those worms in her temple don't spread. See, he has the antidote that will save her. But, really, its just Tang.
23. Posted by rfrau on December 8, 2006 10:55 AM
HELLO!!!! unicorns might not marry opossums but they marry rats - look at Marc Anthony and J-Lo.
24. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 11:13 AM
Jrz, the fact that she's older makes her tastier as far as I'm concerned... I always felt a bit dirty looking at her "young" ass... apparently RichPort Jr. is smarter than I thought...
25. Posted by fergernauster on December 8, 2006 11:18 AM
Beyonce is morphing into her K-Fart "Derriere" designing mother, especially since it's been revealed she is actually 46; NOT 25. Those twin witches could pass for sisters.
Additionally, her ego is larger than her ultra-padded behind and jello jiggling thighs.
Bye.
26. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on December 8, 2006 11:19 AM
Superficial, I am not sure if any one told you, but Unicorns don't exist. I know, it is like me telling you Santa does not exist (hope I did not blow THAT for anyone). If you need to talk about this, or just have a good cry, give me a call. ;-)
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
27. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 11:28 AM
#25 - Where did you get that stupid shit? 46? Please tell me where you buy your weed.
28. Posted by Condoleezza Rice on December 8, 2006 11:39 AM
rich just wants to lick a pussy that's had a real black man's dick in it
29. Posted by Peter Coffin on December 8, 2006 11:42 AM
It has to be the wig. It's ruining everything.
30. Posted by not from the CIA on December 8, 2006 12:01 PM
I heard a rumizzle on the Superfizzle that he won't marryizzle any bizzle with a bad wigizzle.
http://www.papparelli.com
31. Posted by jesseeca on December 8, 2006 12:09 PM
i'd love to see how many of you think she'd still be hot after they take off her fake hair and eyelashes, all the make up and not airbrush the crap out of any image of her.
32. Posted by jesseeca on December 8, 2006 12:09 PM
she'd be uglier than Jay-Z!
33. Posted by randomcandy on December 8, 2006 12:19 PM
I suspect this is related to the wig issue. Clearly I'm not alone in this assumption.
34. Posted by PrettyBaby on December 8, 2006 12:20 PM
#31 Do you remember the pics of her when she and Jay Z were on vacation? She had no makeup on (but still had the wig/weave) and she looked pretty damn hot.
35. Posted by normella on December 8, 2006 12:35 PM
31 - Actually, you forgot to add the thought of her not dieting or working out like mad. She'd be as big as Kirstie Alley at her worst.
I don't think she's ugly at all, but I don't get people's obsession with celebrities when they're all done up. I prefer naturally beautiful people.
36. Posted by Jennimafer on December 8, 2006 12:44 PM
Could she be lying about getting married? Oh no, celebs never do that. Well in that case could se be lying about her age?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/98997/did_beyonce_lie_about_her_age.html
37. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 12:54 PM
#28 - Did you write that all by yourself? I mean, no, seriously, do you really wanna take credit for that stupid shit. Much like your mom said to me, come harder next time. Idiot.
#31 - No I'd much rather see you naked... huh..? what's that..? Oh not willing to put yourself out there... I get it. What? Did the wide angle lens on your camera break? Even the candid photos of this chick are hot. She seems like a stuck up cunt, but she can go to a personality coach, and well, you'll still be you.
38. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on December 8, 2006 1:11 PM
Is somebody trolling RichPort? Those are some lame comebacks.
39. Posted by RichPort on December 8, 2006 1:46 PM
#38 - End of day brain fry I suppose... I'll do some knuckle push ups on hot coals and dick smack those two later... c'mon they were that bad...
#28 & #31 - Take turns biting me.
40. Posted by superficially on December 8, 2006 2:53 PM
they're probably already married....
Beyonce lies A LOT
41. Posted by j on December 8, 2006 3:11 PM
haaaaaaalaaaaaluuuuyjaaaaaaaaah.
42. Posted by BigJism on December 8, 2006 3:55 PM
Bitch has Oprah ass, ... Wait a couple of years, and she'll be as big as a fucking house. Oh, and nice weave, for a man.
43. Posted by Steeno on December 8, 2006 7:59 PM
he found out her real nose was just like his, and her lips were too, and their kids would be the ugliest little jiggas on the block
44. Posted by j on December 8, 2006 8:28 PM
the only thing i have to say to beyonce is please don't marry JZ
45. Posted by superficially on December 8, 2006 8:40 PM
can this ho be any more fake....
she's so bland without her additions (hair, makeup, eyelashes, nails,....damn everything!)
jayz has bought himself a real high-maintenance piece of ass
46. Posted by kacsing on December 9, 2006 5:20 AM
THERE'S NO SANTA??????????????
47. Posted by HollyJ on December 9, 2006 9:30 PM
cuz he fell in love with her FAKE HAIR
damn.. she's a typical bland BLAH w/o all the fake extras.. who gives a fuck ?
48. Posted by madaboutmark on December 9, 2006 10:08 PM
Who cares if she marries the ape or not????
49. Posted by ginettissima on December 11, 2006 11:33 AM
Isn't it nice, though, when pretty creatures take pity on ugly creatures? :)
50. Posted by bootiful on December 14, 2006 12:56 PM
JayZ is ugly ass hell, i dont understand y anyone would ever want to even look at that..Beyonce is okay, shes not the hottest shit on this earth like everyone makes it seem..i could really care less if they marry or not...they would be cakin it together (makin mad money--4 those who don kno)..they got some good music out and jayz clothin line sells A LOT