November 17, 2006
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes really are getting married

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are set to wed tomorrow at Odescalchi Castle in Bracciano, Italy. And because of all the attention they've brought to the town the mayor waived the $50,000 fee to use the facility. Additionally, Tom Cruise's ex Nicole Kidman sent Tom and Katie a wedding present with a note that "wished them both a lifetime of happiness together."
I wonder when they'll announce the color of the fake spaceship they've got set up for their big entrance. Or how long the laser show is gonna last. There's still so much we don't know!
Previous Entries
» Lindsay Lohan is a sarcastic bitch» Angelina Jolie's bodyguads push around kids
» Star Jones is almost too sexy
» Jessica Biel and Derek Jeter get it on
» Michael Jackson is greedy greedy greedy


Comments
1. Posted by kitty_kat on November 17, 2006 8:47 AM
First! Aw! Suri is surprisingly cute.
2. Posted by heisthejuan on November 17, 2006 8:49 AM
How long after the photo opp was Tom screaming, "Will someone please take this thing out of my hands please."
3. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on November 17, 2006 8:49 AM
...and I am getting a cyst removed.
Big freaking deal!
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
4. Posted by KimberWolf on November 17, 2006 8:49 AM
I think Suri is really cute, too. She's going to be an adorable little girl.
But I can't wait until this ceremony is over, I'm sick of hearing about it.
5. Posted by jrzmommy on November 17, 2006 8:54 AM
HMMMMM......Ferreters......where have I seen this before?
6. Posted by dddaza on November 17, 2006 8:54 AM
Fifth! Ugh look at Suri. I wonder who did her make-up for the Vanity Fair covers because she needs to hire him asap. Bronzer anyone?!
7. Posted by dddaza on November 17, 2006 8:55 AM
Okay oops I meant 6th, but I still stand behind my Suri-tan comment!
8. Posted by JackSmith on November 17, 2006 8:55 AM
Sorry KimberWolf, but we will NEVER stop hearing about this.
You know, until they get divorced, and then we'll have to hear endlessly about how no one saw it coming.
9. Posted by NunoH on November 17, 2006 8:58 AM
Top Ten!
10. Posted by Giggles on November 17, 2006 8:58 AM
Yes, they're getting married, but when will we stop hearing about them? Soon, please?
11. Posted by KimberWolf on November 17, 2006 9:00 AM
Too true, Jack. The girlie in me does want to see the dress. After that, I'm good until the divorce.
12. Posted by DancingQueen on November 17, 2006 9:00 AM
Wow, I'm really showing my age here but aren't you supposed to get married FIRST and THEN have a freaking demon seed? Anyone???
13. Posted by danielle on November 17, 2006 9:01 AM
Once the wedding is over, which should be this saturday, I hope the coverage of this couple ceases.
I don't know what the whole big idea is anyway. They'll be splitting up in a couple months. I'd give it at LEAST 2-3 years. Hollywood relationships never last.
14. Posted by RichPort on November 17, 2006 9:01 AM
Jrz - Deja-fucking-vu? This feels like Groudhog Day. The Eskimos called... they're cold, and they're not happy...
15. Posted by veggi on November 17, 2006 9:02 AM
I like Katie's space suit.
16. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on November 17, 2006 9:03 AM
I loved that picture...
When I ran it on my page...
With FUNNY words all around it...
Yesterday...
17. Posted by Ed Bambrick on November 17, 2006 9:09 AM
(Somebody has to say it)
TCLTC!
18. Posted by normella on November 17, 2006 9:10 AM
I actually think Suri's an ugly baby.
And, before getting bombarded with "But all children are beautiful," I'd just like to mention that babies are people. And some people are ugly. Therefore, some babies are ugly.
Ew.
And why the fuck is the media treating this like a fucking royal wedding?
19. Posted by no one you know on November 17, 2006 9:11 AM
Is it just me, or does that kid look oddly Japanese? Cute for sure, but a little Japanese. Not only that, but I'm not sure I quite see the resemblence between her and either of her parents. Hmmm...I guess this confirms what we've all be wondering about for a long time. The galactic overlord is, in fact, Asian.
20. Posted by laikiska on November 17, 2006 9:22 AM
#19: I agree with you, Suri looks Asian. Then again, both parents have droopy eyes - guess we'll only be able to tell when she gets older. And Katie's dress??? Shit, it looks like she is wearing an over-sized meringue!!
21. Posted by straberryz on November 17, 2006 9:24 AM
Japanese? Maybe. Looks more like Suri has a mild case of FAS to me though.
22. Posted by ponk on November 17, 2006 9:25 AM
@18 Human children are beautiful. Some sort of Eskimo/Space Alien mix implanted into Katie Holmes with turkey baster just isn't the same.
23. Posted by gossipmonger on November 17, 2006 9:25 AM
So maybe it's all a big put-on to make him look less gay
but I still think there is always something magical about
a wedding-unless of course the bride is Anna Nicole.
Suri is a lucky child to have such loving parents.
24. Posted by Chaste on November 17, 2006 9:27 AM
she seems so pregnant
25. Posted by normella on November 17, 2006 9:32 AM
22 - spot on. Thank you for reminding me Suri is not actually human but a strange, intergalactic baby-bot.
26. Posted by cardio on November 17, 2006 9:34 AM
With all the coverage about this stupid couple, we haven't read much about what they're going to be wearing during the ceremony. I envision the uniforms on Lost in Space. But if Tom does wear a suit or a tux, you can bet at least he'll have a Cincinnati bowtie.
TCLTC
27. Posted by ffordegroupie on November 17, 2006 9:53 AM
Awwwwww, she looks just like her daddy... but does she look like Chris Klein or Josh Harnett? Can't tell. The eyes give it away, and the hair.
She's not an ugly baby, but she is a plain one.
28. Posted by Libraesque on November 17, 2006 9:54 AM
I get it now.......Why bring your kid out into the light of day, when you don't have anything to promote, like a movie, OR A WEDDING!!!
Why'd they put lipstick on that kid and no rouge????
she's hella cute though
29. Posted by CelebSlam.com on November 17, 2006 9:57 AM
I won't believe it until i see it
http://www.celebslam.com
30. Posted by Tits_McGhee on November 17, 2006 10:04 AM
I wonder which one will be wearing the wedding dress.
31. Posted by natechip on November 17, 2006 10:16 AM
I pity Suri.
32. Posted by Tits_McGhee on November 17, 2006 10:21 AM
Oh, P.S. That marriage will last about as long as a fart in the wind.
33. Posted by marshmallow-dream on November 17, 2006 10:45 AM
#14
Note: Jrz will not be responding for a week or so due to Thanksgiving school holiday. She will hopefully be taking parenting classes and such. And perhaps actual responsible parenting will ensue.
34. Posted by stoplookingatme on November 17, 2006 10:50 AM
@27: THANK YOU - friends and I joked before she was born that it would be really funny if she came out looking just like Chris Klein... and sure enough...
35. Posted by RichPort on November 17, 2006 10:54 AM
Oh marshy, marshy, marshy... shouldn't you be chatting it up online with some 13 year old, in preparation for your starring role on Dateline: To Catch A Child Predator? Maybe you thought you'd just wing it. You sure put the ass in embarassing, don't you?
36. Posted by DickPorthole(twinbrother) on November 17, 2006 10:59 AM
"With FUNNY words all around it..."
There must be some pretty strange fucking things happening in Tom's sack and/or Katie's va-jay-jay.
"va-jay-jay"??? Even Lance Bass is saying, "Man, that's so fuckin gay!!!" I guess you meant funny-peculiar (AFJLTC) not funny-haha.
37. Posted by RichPort on November 17, 2006 11:01 AM
#36 - (crickets)
38. Posted by ponk on November 17, 2006 11:17 AM
i wonder how much extra they had to pay to get her wedding dressed fitted with that gasket around her neck for the space helmet.
39. Posted by kate on November 17, 2006 11:17 AM
Sorry, but I gotta be honest. Suri's goofy looking. Don't want to pick on a baby, but I will because her parents are freaks. Not her fault, but there you go.
I think Suri looks like she's special needs.
40. Posted by Tracie on November 17, 2006 11:44 AM
"Ex Nicole Kidman sent Tom and Katie a wedding present with a note that "wished them both a lifetime of happiness together..."
What SF failed to mention was the remainder of the sentence, which was ..."so here's hoping you die soon, faggot!"
41. Posted by kate on November 17, 2006 11:55 AM
I mean, come on. My brain just screams Rocky III when I see that picture.
By that I mean Suri looks like Rocky after his fight. "Derrrr...
42. Posted by mikeski on November 17, 2006 12:32 PM
Suri's looking at the camera like, "Jeez, see what I have to work with here?"
43. Posted by Flip21 on November 17, 2006 12:47 PM
Tom Cruise may've married Droopy, but at least she's not an alcoholic, cocaine addict like Nicole Kidman's hubby.
44. Posted by DrunkBlogger on November 17, 2006 1:02 PM
It's "laser light show" not just "laser show." Didn't you read the program? That was the only part not in Italian.
45. Posted by HELLpenis on November 17, 2006 1:07 PM
They're nuts...but what a beautiful baby. I just hope she gets Katie's teeth
46. Posted by twzzlrgirl on November 17, 2006 1:13 PM
You people are nuts. That baby is hideous. I'm not saying it's her fault, God knows, but she is not a cute baby. And there is no way she is biologically theirs -- NO WAY. Most babies, genetically, look strikingly like their father's for the first 6 months. She looks stikingly like the milkman.
47. Posted by twzzlrgirl on November 17, 2006 1:16 PM
Oh, and I just read all the other posts, and kudos to all you smart people who see it my way.
Yes, seeing things my way does, in fact, make you smart. Sorry to be conceited, but there it is.
Hi, Ferret. Long time no sex.
48. Posted by jesseeca on November 17, 2006 1:31 PM
why in hell is katie wearing a toilet seat cover over her head.
49. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on November 17, 2006 1:41 PM
#36 - RichPort said it all in one word, I don't even have to bother.
People, do yourselves a favor and click on the link. Fish is dead to me.
50. Posted by Unabashed Liar on November 17, 2006 2:33 PM
Is it ever a good sign when your months old baby is already half the height of your husband to be?
I wonder if any of the 'rags obsessing about this will report on what kind of 11" lifts the little E.T.-humper wears during the ceremony to keep from being dwarfed by the scary "no cock!" standing next to him.
51. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on November 17, 2006 2:40 PM
#49 - My first fake posting.
Wow, I am so honored! So many people to thanks.
#36 - Don't hate the player, hate the game (or better yet, hate those two ugly fucks you call parents.) I wouldn't wipe my ass with you. Oh wait, I just did.
52. Posted by Grope For Luna on November 17, 2006 3:50 PM
#12, yes you are showing your age. Now go pick up your thalidomide from the apothecary.
53. Posted by frenchtoaststix on November 17, 2006 4:04 PM
Yes, babies look like their fathers at first so in olden times the caveman dad wouldn't beat its head in with a club but recognize it as his own. However, this baby looks like a She-Bot cobbled together in some Scientology laboratory to approximate what Cruise splooge would produce. That baby toupee is too fucking funny. I do want to see the dress, though. I wonder how much the divorce will cost?
54. Posted by ponk on November 17, 2006 4:04 PM
LMAO @ 48. it really does look like that.
55. Posted by Ambassador of Sexy on November 17, 2006 5:59 PM
I wonder how long it will be until they sacrifice their kid (Suri: Sacrificial Underling Rewarding Insanity) to their ape-tossing-bat-shit crazy religion.
http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php
56. Posted by xx.deathcab.xx on November 17, 2006 7:19 PM
Fuck it, man, I'm not kidding.. Suri Cruise is the female equivalent of the little dead boy in The Grudge. He's a bit more pale than her, but other than that the resemblance is amazing..
57. Posted by sezhoo on November 17, 2006 7:32 PM
Most babies, genetically, look strikingly like their father's for the first 6 months.
Funny, neither of mine looked anything like their daddy, they both looked exactly like me.
Anywho, Suri's cute. She doesn't look like either Tom or Katie, though.
58. Posted by ChannelFlix.com on November 18, 2006 4:17 PM
the baby looks like her mom
congrats Tom&Kate
59. Posted by paris's_assassin on November 18, 2006 7:43 PM
hey!!!!someone wanna tell me wot tha fuck's going on ? that kid looks exactly like Katie but there is no way she was really ever pregnant so .... the plot thickens.
where the hell did they obtain this lookalike kid from ??? maybe they used a surrogate or maybe it is the child of one of her siblings...but there is no way a demon like tc could ever interbreed with a human. hmmm...i want an answer dammit!!!
....no doubt the truth is stranger than fiction.TCLTC.
60. Posted by evelyn on November 19, 2006 7:36 AM
i thought the same. that baby looks asian. either there was a switch, or katie is a whore. i choose to believe the latter.
also who gives a rats ass about their wedding? they're not royalty. and for that matter, who gives a shit about royal weddings either?
61. Posted by belablack on November 19, 2006 9:26 PM
Very cute, the baby looks just like Katie!
62. Posted by Fernando Pessoa on November 20, 2006 7:18 AM
She looks scared...