Tom looks so unhappy. I haven't seen him smile big since before she got knocked up.

I hope those two crazy kids have a happy fairy tale marriage. Yeah, stranger things have happened.

I've seen better looking heads on pints of Guinness.

Her dress is boring. C- for Armani. Although the Church of Scientology probably designed it based on mysterious papers found in L. Ron Hubbard's old underpants.

#1 you're right. He looks like hes thinking 'dear God, what have I done?'

Thank God that's over!

He should have stood on a pile of cash.money always makes you look taller.oh yea..i heard he loves the cock.

http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/

And she's thinking "CHA CHING!"

Look how tightly they're gripping hands. Like both of them are afraid the other one is going to bolt any second now.

And either she's standing in a hole or they 'shopped out the box he's standing on.

I think it's funny that they're both the same height in the photos. She's obviously scrunching down in the photos (and most likely at Tom's request!) Jayna

#1

I hope he is unhappy! I hope he is so unhappy that he succumbs to the negative energy that Xenu directs towards all that is Tom Cruise and happiness. I hope that all worldwide "suppressive people" come together and join hands to increase Xenu's power against the Tom Cruise! Mwahahaha!!! Send them to the volcanos!! Ahahahahaha!!!

If I'm not mistaken, Suri's nanny is totally going to jump off the roof with a rope around her neck any day now and Tom Cruise will be made Ambassador.

Oh, wow! An update! Great job, fish!

I am pathetically enthralled by this whole charade. I hope she's getting paid well for this. Anyone who thinks that baby is his is just as crazy.

Those must've been some good drugs he gave her.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

I'm a little confused. In the beginning he was the super-smiley one while she didn't seem to be quite With It, but now that's been reversed. Or, well, that's not really it either. She has an attractive smile, but it's more fitting of a model in a magazine than a radiant, ecstatic bride. Meanwhile, he looks like he's...not even there. It's the look people get at staff meetings when they've given up on the topic at hand and started thinking about something else. That's hardly the expression you want to have in one of the most important pictures you'll ever take.

there is a "NOT" missing between so and married in the title.

If we can see your knees bending through a WEDDING GOWN, you're not fooling anybody. She's going to disappear for a few months and come back with mysteriously shorter shins...

Nah #10, for that special effect Tom had to call the good folks over at Industrial Light and Magic who collaborated with Lucasfilm to create the new CGI technology to make the impossible seem possible.

Let's give 'em a hand folks.

Tom Cruise acting like he's happy to be married?
Mission Impossible IV!

Let's have a peek a what they're thinking, shall we?

Katie: So is it, 20 mil if I stick it for 5 years...?

TC: I love the cock, oh sooooo love cock, I wish I was doing cock right now....

That there Eye-talian castle looks an awful lot like the grotto at the Playboy mansion.

It looks like a bad Hallmark card.

I give it one more brat and three more years and then Game Over.

The look on his face is because he's final realized that she doesn't have a cock. You know the one he loves so much.

I think old Giorgio Armani needs to retire if that dress is the best he could come up with. I mean, is that a fucking joke? And what is the matter with her big fucking lower lip? Is she Katie Gump?

#24 ummm...ok. but what about Tom and Kate?

How big are the fucking lifts he's wearing? I know she's slouched over, but fuck, he looks the same height as her. Did the cut off her feet? Fucking peg-legged money grubbing beeotch.

TCLTC

Looking at the picture again, it seems that the got married in the pits of Hell... just as I imagined.

He's thinking to himself, "Is the hole deep enough? Does she have both feet in the hole? Is she crouching? Does it LOOK like she's crouching? Fuck, forgot to smile."

#1 & #6, whoa whoa whoa! ok, he definitely looks unhappy, but to say that he hasnt looked happy since BEFORE she got pregnant?! come on! everyone knows he's gay and having a child gives people the impression that he actually had sex with her. her pregnancy was the best news of his life! i'm just trying to figure out if she was artificially inseminated or if someone else knocked her up. the kid could be his, but either way, i think his unhappiness has more to do with having to touch a woman and less to do with the kid.

27---ummmm....fuck you. how's that?

Giorgio didn't do too bad a job considering the dress had to be lined with tinfoil to pick up signals from the Mother Ship.

hahahaha if you take a good look at his posture, and the bottom of his pant legs you can see the cuffs looking pretty high. It's as if he's lifting his feet inside his big ol' clown shoes.

douchebag shiteater

BARF. What a sham. And yet, I was oddly fascinated by the whole thing, if for no other reason than to make fun of everyone involved. Its like a train wreck. Vicky Beckham making an ass out of herself, Brooke Sheilds disappointing everyone, first by accepting his apology a couple of months ago instead of telling him to go fuck himself, and then by actually GOING to the wedding. I mean, really. Did she cut his meat for him at dinner? JLo was there? When the hell were they EVER EVER even in the same room with JLo and Skeletor? Try never. Hello PR opportunity.

I loathe these two nutjobs.

CNN said that guests weren't allowed to dance at the reception because the castle was so old, they were afraid the floor might break. Fun times.

#31-he made her wear the George Michael mask. And then he fucked her through a Glory Hole painted to look like a male ass. Duh.

so considering that the catholic bishop of that part of italy gave tomkat the "nigga, please" treatment when they asked for a catholic ceremony in addition to their scientology one, doesn't this mean they are not legally married at all? has anyone heard of them filing for a civil marriage? is there a marriage license anywhere?

"I think old Giorgio Armani needs to retire if that dress is the best he could come up with. I mean, is that a fucking joke? And what is the matter with her big fucking lower lip? Is she Katie Gump?"

I KNOW!!! Are you kidding? I could have picked that up at David's Bridal. Nothing wrong with David's, but if you're spending approximately the GNP of a small country on the dress, it should look, I don't know, not like shit?

True #38, bullshit ceremony for a bullshit relationship between bullshitters.

Nipsy- apparently they were "officially" married last week in LA. Or something.

So they spent 2M on what was ultimately a wedding that didn't mean anything legally to anyone. Imagine all the people they could have fed with that money.

One would assume that if Armani designs a suit SPECIFICALLY for someone that it wouldnt be 6 inches off the ground. Even if he were'nt wearing lifts the pants would be too short.

This poor girl. Her life is going to be, or already is, completely controlled by those Scientology wackos. How long before she realizes she's made a huge mistake? They'll never let her go, they'll confiscate her kid. Bad move on her part.

why do i feel like their wedding night involves him violently fisting her ass while sticking dollar bills in her mouth?

smile on, katie while you're in italy. you can just see the dollar signs beeming in her eyes. i bet she's been rimming him and eating his scat every night just to hit this lotto. and she got pregnant faster than micheal jackson gets under a little boy's pajamas. her parents must be proud of her "ultimate whore" skills. they raised her well.

tom has that look in his eye that says as soon as "you get home, things are going to change". we're going to start hearing tales of how clumsy she is and seeing her walk around in turtle necks in july.

@27
ahahahaha. Do you write jokes for a living?

i hope you'll be happy together. good luck, tom & katie!

Took them long enough. Now they will take forever planning their divorce...

@46 Mya - While I was reading that mindless drivel, I couldn't help but wonder, how does your brain generate enough power to make your fingers move?

After the couch jumping incident, Robin Quivers on the Howard Stern Show had the best and probably truest statement.

She said that men just don't act that way, and that she thought it was funny that he was trying so hard to convince everybody he was straight but he was doing it in a very very gay way.

All I can say about the wedding photo is this. Tom, you manged to fuck up your career WITHOUT coming out of the closet. You probably should have taken your millions of dollars, come out of the closet and dated who you liked. Now your career is fucked up, your deal with UA pics is a shadow deal as everybody in Hollywood knows, you're unahppy because you've obviously getting fat and thats the worst part because remember "The gays" like guys to be in shape, so if you're going to be cheating on Kaite with your body guards it's time to head back to the gym Kimosabe.

Hmmm...I noticed that Brad Pitt has a small head compared to Angelina, and now I notice Tom has a wee little head next to Katie.

Love the veil.

Okay now what for them?

Yet another facical Hollywood marriage. YAY.

And: #39 - totally with you.

They had a scientology "advisor" at every guests table.

#29...BRILLIANT!!

#46 Hasn't anyone told you that Tom Cruise is a Closeted Gay Man. I know, take a moment to digest it... Yes, Top Gun was hot, and yes my pussy was on fire A LOT during that movie. BUT take another look at the volleyball scene. HMmmmm.. Playing with the Boys??? HUH?!

And Katie his wife, is a mindless baby producer for Scientology so Darlin the odds are not in their favor. If you wanna have any hopes, try to put your good thoughts on Baby Suri, because I know that she is being subjected to Xenu- themed lullabies 24/7.

I would try to hope that Suri's real Inuit parents stage a rescue complete with sleds and hungry polar bears.

#38 That's right, I was so proud of the catholic bishop. But tonight in his sleep he will find a bloody alien head in his bed....

I hate his ass....face.

I love when crazy people marry!

http://www.celebslam.com

#32 Somebody woke up with sand in her va-jay-jay! Oh snap!!!

Xenu's giving him a step-up.

I bet Sherry-co was a guest.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

She looks terrified, like whoever's behind the camera is holding a gun.

Ferret--yeah but it's Monday and I don't like to be fucked with on Mondays.

How appropriate. Katie is doing the Quasimodo standing next to her fake gay midget husband in an old castle. Is Disney backing this fairy tale?

All I gotta say is...oh what dude!!?

FUCK YOU CIRCUIT CITY POP UP!!!!!

#32 - leave drphil the hell alone you sorry excuse for a mother. go do some quality parenting you hag. honestly, would you have wanted a mom who spent all day posting to a celebrity website? that has to be the most pitiful thing i can imagine.

now what obscene insults were you hurling at me earlier? you are so pathetic

66--bite me you fucking douche.

Hey, Tommy Boy may be crazy with that Scientology stuff, but he's had some of the hottest women in Hollywood, married someone half his age, had a baby, and gave his studio the finger (all not in that order).

You rock, Maverick! Congrats!

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

Actually, 68--Sumner Redstone gave TOM the finger. Not the other way around.

#66
Dr. Laura, d'you think you could find another soapbox, please?

70--don't feed the trolls, baby. :)

#66 I am sure jrzmommy works. And I am sure at work, her children are not there. So commenting here and there in the midst of the work day has nothing to do with children.
I know this is none of my business but I had to say it.

Jrz, let it curl up and die. It disparages you for posting, yet reads every post and even posts itself. Then it attaches links to gay porn... to each it's own I suppose. Stop feeding it and its many asinine incarnations and it will go away, curl up and die. In fact, I don't think it's a marshmellow at all, just one of those annoying fucking peeps.

#71
Good advice to be sure...it's just that this same tired rant is getting SO old - but then, so is she!! ;)

Who.

Fucking.

Cares.

#73 I know, but if your gonna continually say the say the same fucking thing to someone publically so everyone is forced to read it, then make sure it is valid, not an absolute load of shit.

But anyway, I HATE Katie's dress. Fuck if I had her money I would look so yummy that the world would say "Lady Diana, who?"

#75 You do...

She looks like a woman-who-has-just-married-a-man, but he looks so ridiculous : what was he thinking about? that it was a photo for his new movie? hey man, it's your wedding!!!

#71 Take your own advice - what do you think #58 was? LMAO.

AFJLTC

#76
I agree, but it's also not too hard to look better than Diana - her wedding dress looked like clumps of wet toilet paper.
But this?
A wire mesh ruffle across the front?

Oprah got to Giorgio Armani!!

sexybitch- Yeah, I guess Diana's dress wasn't that great, huh. But in the public perception, she was the ultimate. But yeah girl, my dress would be fly with all that $$.

#81
PrettyBaby - don't forget the $1000 worth of bridal undies, too!
Pity for Di and Kate the groom was a runt. Nothing ruins the effect of stockings and garters more than wearing flats. :(

Yep, that is true. AND another thing that would ruin the night along with the flat shoes would be the flat cocks that Tom and Charles both had for their brides. Not good.

I've only skimmed the comments so I'm not sure if anyone's brought this up.
Why does the background look like some gold foil? Like a bad prom pic.

#84 It is fake, much like their marriage!

#83
"It's called 'brewer's droop', Kate. I had too much champagne because I'm so happy we're finally married. Yeah, I'm sure that's it."

"Gee, Tom, it seems to happen a lot recently! And you must've been real thirsty because you were sure following that cute waiter who was pouring the Kristal."

"I'm still thirsty, actually...I'm just gonna go pop my cork...uh, see if there's any left, yeah... Don't wait up for me, sweetie, OK?"

"The wedding wil be in Bracciano, Italy. The reception will be held in the underworld. Suitable attire a must." BTW, Suri is a dead ringer for that kid in the Omen. Not the recent one with Julia Stiles, the old one with Gregory Peck. Born of a jackal indeed.

#66 - Amen! It's really pathetic to think of someone who sits at their desk all day, and rather than working, is keeping up on every comment posted on this site. I mean, look at how many she's posted just on this thread that was put up today! Not to mention the other threads. I don't think being a mother has anything to do with it really...just because you have kids, doesn't mean you have to stop doing things that you enjoy. It would just be better if she didn't enjoy doing something so incredibly lame! It's obvious she needs some kind of attention that she's not getting at home.

I wonder how many guests at this wedding were at either of his first two. How do they keep a straight face through the "forsaking all others till death do you part" part? He has been married twice before, right? I don't wanna be one of those people who say you can't get married more than once and I guess you have the right to make a big freakin' international incident out of your third marriage if you can afford it, and it is Katie's first marriage, but still... once you've been married twice, you'd think you'd want subsequent weddings to be sorta low-key and romantic, rather than going all "look at us, we're in love, we're getting married in Italy!!!!! We rule!!! Tom is so NOT gay!!!" Guess not.

Tom looks bored. You know, been there, done that. Twice.

#88 - (crickets)

No really, #88 has a point .. must be a pretty lame and boring job, no?

#89-- I disagree. A first time bride who can afford it should get the biggest, grandest wedding money can buy. I eloped and regret that we didn't have a big to-do. Fifteen years later, and I still wish we'd done something more special. I had no white dress, no pictures, nothing (just a Justice of the Peace). Good for Katie that she got the castle and the Armani gown. **I do think my marriage will last longer, though.** TCLTC-- that's a problem.

#88 - I seem to remember your name popping up about 20 times on a thread a while back trying to defend yourself, all the while making yourself look like an uber-skank, which kinda defeats the purpose of saying 'shes on the site all the time' no? and at least I can occasionally laugh at her posts, dont get me wrong I laughed at yours too, but for entirely different reasons. And the 'attention she is not getting at home' perhaps you are getting a bit too much of it?

Ahh....the wisdom of a 20 year old nobody. Priceless.

Are sex toys okay in Scientology? Katie may need them, so I was just checking.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

It's an old photographer's trick. He's standing on an incline. If the two were reversed, she'd be six inches taller. Optical illusion. But who gives a gnat's ass. He's a short gay man who married a beard. Just like Kenny Chesney is a short, bald gay man who married a beard. This has been going on in showbiz since day one. In a perfect world, Tom Cruise would've married Kenny Chesney and everyone would live happily ever after.

#94
It comes from Daddy, and we know what kind of attention it is, too...

#97
Chokeback Mountain?

"Some will probably argue they asked Katie to squat under her wedding dress or some other demeaning nonsense but I'm sticking to my original theory: the magic of Scientology."

Ha, that's good stuff. But the REAL truth is that the photos were probably Photoshopped and were created and ready to roll months before the wedding was even announced.

And Tom Cruise will, by the way, exert his rule over the "Galactic Confederacy" any day now. It simply must be.

It is very obvious he has on lifts. I'd say, based on what I can see of his shoe/boots, that he's added about three inches to his height. At least.

Lifts are so lame. Embrace your shortness, Tom!

Her dress is seriously cheapo. Tom-Tom must not have wanted to spare the cash, and spent it on Thai boys instead.

And he's SHORT SHORT SHORT and we will never forget it, no matter how hard he tries to make us. He's standing on something.

LL, because they used special scientology vows! I found them at Newsoftheworld.co.uk. Take a look at this:

During the wedding vows, which are NOT recognised by law, Miscavige asked 27-year-old Katie: “Do you take his fortune at its prime and ebb and seek with him best fortune for us all? Do you?” Katie replied: “I do.”

The minister said: “Good then, I am sure you will and surer yet that you’ll fare well and staunchly as a wife.”

To Cruise he said: “And when she’s older do you keep her still? Do you?” The actor responded: “I do.”

The minister then said: “Now Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will. But still they need them. Do you then provide? Do you?”

….

Not only are these hilariously weird vows, but also very sexist. Miscaviage sounds like an old-school chauvinist, which isn’t very surprising considering what religion he belongs to. (With silent births, child neglect and the rest of it)

And the whole thing is suitably loveless: none of that love, honor, cherish and stay by through sickness, health, richer, poorer, blah blah blah. Never mind til death do them part.

Nope, it’s all about her wanting the money, and him putting up with the ball’n'chain even when the Kool-Aid starts giving her wrinkles.

katie looks lovely. tom looks, well... like tom. i think they have as fair a shot at happiness as anyone else. stranger things have happened. sure, the "tomkat" stories are making us all ill, as would anything in in exaggerated abundance, but who says you have to pay attention to them? geez... live and let live, people.

katie looks lovely. tom looks, well... like tom. i think they have as fair a shot at happiness as anyone else. stranger things have happened. sure, the "tomkat" stories are making us all ill, as would anything in in exaggerated abundance, but who says you have to pay attention to them? geez... live and let live, people.

18. If we can see your knees bending through a WEDDING GOWN, you're not fooling anybody. She's going to disappear for a few months and come back with mysteriously shorter shins

Those aren't her knees, its the bulge from her strap-on. For we all know TC adores the penis.

#94, NONE of those posts were me! Not the pictures, and not anything after them except for the occasional "hey guys, that's obviously not me posting those comments." Someone equally as lame as jrzmommy posted them under the same name as mine. So your "point" is shot to shit.

IT'S ALL A LIE

TOM STILL LOVES THE COCK.

Oh and to jrzmommy, I'm sure you're "somebody," right? I'm sure everyone on here is as rich, well known, highly successful, and powerful as you. Because after all, this is the website where all the "somebody's" spend their time. We're all extremely privelaged to have you post on here, because you are so superior to everyone. I'm willing to be that the reality is you're just another bored, overweight soccer mom who has nothing left in life to look forward to other than watching your evil offspring run amock and wreak havock among society. Oh how I envy you!

Thats an awful background for a wedding pic. Looks like the inside of a creepy cave. How fitting.

INNNNNNNNTERESTING background, it looks like they're taking the express elevator to hell........

Poor girl, still hasn't recovered from her spine surgery to remove 6 vertebrae.

The only thing more fucking ridiculous than this sham of a relationship is all you douchebags on here pontificating posters physical appearance, if they're working at work or just big losers on the internet all day BLAH BLAH BLAH. Stick to the Cruise bashing or go beat eachothers asses ON SOME OTHER FORUM. I've got an idea, why don't you all exchange e-mail addresses, then when you start your pissing match, you can take it private

I remember when he was a big star for movies, not for making an ass of himself.

She's not squatting. That's pain from the new installation of the giant scientology fucking ball and chain she'll be wearing until she's 100% brainwashed. Why do you thing the dress looks so poor? The heat from it is making it wilt. Why do you think the room is glowing?

Tom can't be gay anyway, it's not 'really' gay to take a 9 inch cock in your ass and have a guy cum in your face. Aliens told him so. 'Cock?. Sho' nuff you rich midget, suck all the nut you want baby. Oh, and Eyes Wide Shut was great too. Gay? PAH!!'

WOAH. that pic up there is a miracle!!

katie is supp to be 5 feet taller than tom, but in the pic. they look AS TALL AS!

106&108: Do you really think you're insulting me because I have a family? I mean, do you really think that's insulting? Because it's not. I find your lack of sophistication annoying as fuck, but definately not insulting. You try to mock the things that you think are beneath you, but in the meantime, you continue to show everyone what an empty, shallow pathetic bitch you are. You're a joke. A boring and unoriginal joke.

And as for being "somebody" and famous, when you get older and seasoned and wiser, you realize that your life is great just the way it is. You stop chasing the unmeaningful bullshit. You act as if your life is so much better than everyone else's. Guess what??--all the shit you're doing....been there done that. Everything you're doing now at age 20, I did already, too. It was fun for a little bit, but then I wanted more and I moved on. Now maybe you should move on, too, psycho.

chasing back multiple posts to type out a 2 paragraph reply first thing in the morning. somebody's more than a little tweaked!

117--caring to read and comment on posts not directed at you? Somebody's more than a little worthless. go to class, now, junior.

I think Kenny Chesney & Tom would make a cute couple! I think that should be Tom's next marriage!

@118-

You are one of the best posters on this site, and I consistently laugh at ALL of you posts. Don't let these worthless little fucks get to you....like you said, they haven't figured out what's REALLY important in life, so they cannot understand how others don't WANT to live their shallow, superficial dreams.

You keep on keepin on...Jrz, fuck them. I like you, for what it's worth...which isn't much, I know.

hey, tsarina--right on. they don't get to me....but the hubris is overwhelming. I like you, too and I'm happy if I made you giggle once in a fucking while.

If anyone has acted like anything was beneath them, it was YOU! You who got involved when my opinion was different than everyone else's on a FUCKING WORTHLESS MESSAGE BOARD!!! I don't think having a family is beneath me, but it's not something I want out of life. You parade it around as if that's what makes you so fucking great, and it just goes to show, that regardless of age, or intelligence, OR LOOKS (you shallow fuck) everyone has their own agenda in life and it's not for you to make these bullshit attempts to "run me off the website" because I didn't agree with you, or Biatcho, or whoever else on here thinks they're such hot shit.

And you may not remember, but when I first starting coming to this site and posting comments, you and I had a couple back-and-forth's cracking jokes to each other about whatever that post happened to be about. So fuck off with your self-righteous bullshit, because for someone who's trying to tell me about what's important in life, you sure do spend a lot of your important, precious time worrying about what people here say, whether it's directed at you or not. If you'll notice, I check back maybe 2-3 times a week, and I have a laptop that goes with me everywhere, so it's not like I don't have access to a computer. You, on the other hand, check back here every 5 minutes to read every single comment posted in hopes you can say something to try and insult whoever says anything you don't like. Give it a rest, cunt.

I can't believe 20 ppl posted before someone had the genius to remind us all that Tom Cruise loves the cock! Still hilarious after all these months.

Check this out! This is so hilarious!!
"To figure out how Tom Cruise appeared to be taller than Katie Holmes in their wedding photo, we deployed X-ray technology to the photograph."
http://worldofwonder.net/archives/2006/Nov/22/how_they_did_it.wow

Jrzmommy and Rock and Roll Takeover -

DECAF!

It looks very much like, in the full length picture, tom is standing closer to the camera than katy. I think that the very same trickery used in LOTRs was used - where Gandalf would stand closer to the camera so as to look taller than the hobbits - it would look as though they were standing right next to each other on camera when in fact there was 10 metres or so distance between them.

The upclose photo teamed with the full length makes as immediately associate that these two photos were taken consequetively (sp)... but my dear friends, it is all an illusion!

He's a maniac, maniac!!

123 - and jrz is the winner in the 'class' division. I love this comment:

If anyone has acted like anything was beneath them, it was YOU! You who got involved when my opinion was different than everyone else's on a FUCKING WORTHLESS MESSAGE BOARD!!!
---------------

so why you getting your panties in such a twitter, man? Pot, kettle, black.