Where the fuck are you going that has no access to internet, fucking Iran, what the hell are we suppose to do with brits pussy on our screen all week, for the love of God don't leave us hanging with the cooch from hell!!!!!!!!!!

I can cover for you while you're gone... here are the headlines... Britney Spears Sports Paris' Glittery Lip Gloss on Her Poonanny...Lindsay Lohan is a Coked up Whore...K-Fed to appear in Fed-Ex ads... Jennifer Lopez Intensely Boring...TomKat to record album of Partridge Family covers with Edgar Winter

Sucks to be you Mithtur ThuperFishy smelly guy.
Will any of you please feed me my daily garbage that makes me feel like a better mother and human being?!?!?!?!?!

Family first superfish.Best wishes..
We'll talk amongst ourselves 'til your return!

You'll be missing out on a whole lot more of Britney's vagina. I mean, this time we might get to some discharge. That would be an awesome thing to see especially when I'm eating.

http://theblemish.com

This is probably ok. There's been so much Beaver here lately I was starting to feel like Eddie Haskel.

THIS IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!
DOESN'T THE SUPERFISH KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT ME?!?
DOESN'T HE KNOW WHO I THINK I AM?

Great... with no Superfish, I might be forced to have sex with Edna. (She, like Tom Cruise, loves the cock.)

Hope all is well.

Good luck with the family stuff, Fish.

Good question #1. WTF in the world is there no internet access?. Quite possibly it is the blown-up Middle East.

well now productivity is going to shoot through the roof. my boss thanks you.

i heard that brit was seen hanging out solo with brandon davis the other night. no paris in sight.

Be well, Superfish Guy.

We'll talk amongst ourselves.
Here's a topic.

Britney Spears' vajayjay is neither attractive nor interesting.

Discuss.

To summarize Superfish guy:

"Make your own fun, bitches."

I smell the funk of forty thousand trolls already.... but it could just be the forty thousand snatches I've already seen here this week.

Good luck with your family, Superficial!

Well, I guess it's time to break out an old-fashioned internet scrap with SJTLQ or Edna or RocknRock Takeover.

Where the hell is Ferret when you need him?

Not to take advantage of your misfortune or anything, but...

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Open for business, bitches.

no new posts? get your 'go fuck yourself rich celebs' gossip and fun here in the meantime - 5 updates a day as the superfish is away....

http://www.popculturepundit.com

p.s. we have not seen the last of Britney's vagina

Are you going to see Michael Jackson?

Hope all is well...

http://www.whatistad.com/

Family comes first... but on the other hand:

"if something awesome happens like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have a pistol duel"

You call THAT awesome? Most people would be like, "Oh it's about time, thank goodness" and then nonchalantly read another item.

Hey, I found something interesting! See below....

There have been a lot of reports of people using the word nigga/nigger on XTube. This is obviously a touchy subject and a lot of people are getting upset - just ask Kramer. XTube would like to remind everyone that this is a fun website, where you come to get your rocks off, not be offended by racist remarks. XTube now officially does not accept the words nigga, nigger, cracka, cracker, cracka-ass-cracka, cracker-ass-cracker or honky in usernames, titles, tags or descriptions. If you use them you will be asked to choose a better word. If you do not you will be removed from the site. This is NOT freedom of expression. If we allow it, it would be freedom of oppression.

This is what the world has come to, people. Thanks a lot, Michael Richards. I was really looking forward to a free clip of White Trash Whore #18, now I have to go rent it. Fucking racists ruin everything.

ANNA NICOLE GETS EVICTED

In the latest chapter in the soap-opera life of Anna Nicole Smith, the alleged pill-popper has been ordered by a court of law in the Bahamas to abandon the house she's been illegally inhabiting since she moved to the Caribbean island.

Anna had been served an eviction notice by the owner of the house, millionaire G. Ben Thompson, which she ignored.

Smith claimed Thompson gave her the property. He countered that it was never a gift and he expected payment.

A default judgment was issued Tuesday against Smith, who was required to respond to Thompson's eviction filing by Monday, November 27th, but failed to do so.

The judgement means Thompson can now force Smith out of the house, which he is doing.

A letter has been sent to Smith's lawyer, demanding that she vacate within 48 hours.

And by family emergency hopefully you mean an all expenses paid trip to Bali with d'Ambrosio! good luck superfish.

No worries...best wishes and prayers that all turns out well.

Death to all the haters here...you'll get yours in the end.

“I have to leave the country very suddenly”... Ooooh it all sounds so covert and mysterious... “DOUBLE-0-superficial” ... GO NOW, and God’s speed to you...

#14 - HA!!!

I agree, this will soon descend into a Lord of the Flies debacle... will marshy come by to pretend to be all of us? Will Edna smote us (if so, we'll call the angriest guy I know, Ferret)? Will someone utter the something potentially understood as disparing to Black folks, thereby sending danielle into a "keep my name out yo mouf" rampage? Will SJ come to sprinkle lilacs all over the rest of us? Will Cock and Hole Takeover pretend she's not a groupie college whore? And where's good ol' Stacyy the Greek when you need her? I say let the kumite begin... I'm getting my beer and popcorn. Yea, I'm still at work, but fuck it (as opposed to butt-fuck it).

TCLTC

Good luck and best wishes to you and your family. Hope everything turns out ok! - aba

Outsource

awww no daily fix of the super, for a week:(
...perez aint got nothing on u dear!
best wishes!xo

Prayers going out to you and yours, Senor Superfish.

In the meantime, we should continue what several other posters have started here---namely, posting and discussing stories as they come up. It would also be nice if people provided links to the source.

Have a safe trip. Send my regards to Mr. Laden.
I hope you didn't forget to take bat repellent.

Best of luck to ya, 'Fish. Safe travels.

Now, what the fuck am I going to do at work???

#26 - hahaha - mouf!

Take care, 'Fish guy. This should be an interesting few days, so bring back a mop and bucket.

Boring.

WAhhhhh, what will i do with myself?!

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

#26 DAMN! Someone is gettin' fiesty again! It's fun when your all worked up Darlin!!

Ijust bet that 10 thousand dumbasses will now be posting their own blogsites for our enjoyment (Although more possibly extreme boredom-) Ferret's site is cool and funny- good comment there.

Good Luck Superficial Man- And I will offer to come with you as your personal love toy or to put hot towels on you, whichever you wish.

#24 I bet you'd like to get one in YOUR END.
hahahaha
THE END

Yes, that was infantile, but of course I can be childlike.

best of luck superfish guy~
BTW, you are freakin' hysterical!

fwanga

Ever notice that some people are slightly annoying? I offer you the example of post #30.

Family emergencies suck. Fish FTW!

So, you're going on a three hour tour, a three hour tour...

Guys quit bitching..'Fish dude said family emergency..maybe,just maybe, there's someone in his family who he finds more important than Britney Spears' vagina?

As for the impending bloodbath all I gotta say is BRING IT ON NIGGAZZZ

#26

Richport, I think now would be a good time to tell you that i'm really your evil twin.
I've had amnesia since birth.

Stay tuned....

Response to #39...

You mean annoying, like poster #36??

Godspeed, Superfish. We'll await your next flashes of wisdom...or vagdom.

'Fish - Hope things go smoothly for you and yours.

Who the hell has to leave suddenly to go to a place that has no internet access but possibly has coconuts? Your family a tribe of apes? Oh well, at least there's porn. Sweet, sweet porn. You'll never abandon me, will you?

All - something interesting about Parasite. Remember awhile back that she was bitten by her pet kinkaju? Well - seems that those critters carry a germ that is related to gonorrhea.

Just another disease to add to her resume.

Hmmmmmmmmm family emergency, coconuts...maybe he is late getting his family to the airport for their vacation to a tropical island. I would consider late for that flight a family emergency, indeed!

Well, if there's really a family emergency and not a "I have to lie on a beach for 4 days" emergency, then god speed.

In your honor, I will NOT give the posters posting other gossip sites the satisfaction of me clicking onto them.

Unless they're one of the other 10 gossip sites I frequent. In that case, whaddyagonnado.

Oh, I think we'll manage. I'll just go fuck with Perez or pretend like I am going to advertise with x17 and ultimately just piss them off by wasting their time. Sounds like fun to me!

This place has shit up now. She's really funny too......

http://yeeeah.com/blog/

I hope everything with your family turns out all right.

Better yet, I'll do all the posts why you are gone, in this comment section. Here is my first one:

It was reported in the LA Weekly that Paris Hilton & Nicky Hilton are fighting over Aaron Carter, who is dating Papa Smurf.

Aaron Carter dating Papa Smurf!!!?? The last time I saw something this crazy, I was watching a hobo drinking feces! derpa derp! I mean, serially, what color our their kids going to be? Baby blue!!?? Derpa derp derp derp! Hey-yo!

youtuberoast.com

Can I pick fights with the people i hate now and not get yelled at by treehuggers?
*rolls up sleeves*

I hope everything turns out OK!

Hope all is well with your family. We will miss your witty comments.

In the meatime, I am feeling lost without another picture of Brit with no panties on.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Non-Vagina-wise, Eva Longoria and what's his name got engaged (Perez Hilton)

lol @ 7
I was needing a break anyway. Time to hang out at ferret's.

I guess we'll have to fend for ourselves for a while. Some possible headlines to ponder for the next few days:

Sofia Coppolla's Baby So Ugly Mirrors Break

Britney's Vagina Gets Own Agent

Paris Hilton Cover Whore on "STD Weekly."

K-Earl Falls Down Abandoned Well. No One Notices Absence.

TomKat Invite Others to Wear Purple Shrouds, Watch for Comet.

Lindsey Hohan Accidentally Spends a Week Out of Tabloids. In other news, Hell Freezes Over.

Pam and Kid Rock Reunite, Announce Reality Show.

#60

god he's an idiot. he's so hen pecked. i saw a special about them and she talked 90% of the time, always interrupting him. he said they were building a 25,000 sq foot house and she blurted out "i'm designing the whole thing" then he mentioned he was designing the pool.

he's too caught up in the older poon to realize mexican women don't look good after babies and all mexican women want are babies. they get that weeble wobble shape.

#45 Yes, chellean66, exactly.....

it's all due to the afj fish whinefest today

Ok, here goes:

Paris - Still skanky, still dumb
Britney - Still dumb, still taking skank lessons from Paris
Lindsay - Still dumb, skanky and sorta crazy
K-Fed - Still an untalented douchebag, but still smarter than Britney
Pam Anderson - Still attracted to dirty psychos
Tom Cruise - Still a weirdo, still LTC (as far as we know)
Used to be Kramer - Still apologizing... give it up, man
Mel Gibson - Still hates the Jews
Britney's weave - Still trying to detach itself from her head

Dear Lord help all these women hating jerks to get through the next few days without any new pictues to spew their hate upon.

I guess they'll have to go kill bugs and kick puppies.

The Ferret brought the Fish down? I mean, I knew that ferrets were wiley fucks, especially angry ones, but this is too coincidental to be believable. Maybe the Mr. Fish went to recharge his joke book, or to figure out a way to ban all the fucking trolls. Or maybe he'll be wacking off to Brit's clit until December 5th (that's right you fuckers, I own a calendar). In closing, blow me.

I think Eva Longoria should wrap herself in a soft tortilla and roll across the West Side Highway...slowly

#66 - So is that Ms. Try, as in Miss Try, or is it an acronym for mystery? Either way, I'd like to kick you in the cooter. No offense... fuck it, offense.

My prayers are with you and your family.

:)

hey, best luck, hope nothing is too horribly awry and all works out well. will miss you!

Sorry about your emergency. Sending thoughts your way.

Hey, is anyone interested in seeing something REALLY gross? Chris Farley's dead body upon the coroner's arrival:
Bad - http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/F/Chris%20Farley/farley1.jpg
Worse - http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/F/Chris%20Farley/farley3.jpg

Don't look! - http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/F/Chris%20Farley/farley2.jpg

oh RichPort, you make me gonna sweat and oooomph and everything ... you're always talking about hot stuff and sexual matters, hey I bet you're sweet like candy ... purrrrrrr

Tracie darling... just fuck the fuck off, you necrophilic ass wipe. No one wants to see this old shit.

Oh, I'm so sorry Hillary! I didn't realize that you were the one that was there the night Chris died.
Could you answer one question? Why the fuck do you go by the name Hilarious, twat?

I hope everything goes as well as possible.

I hope the emergency turns out to be less critical than it seems, and that whatever country you're headed to is at least someplace fun to visit.
In the meantime, I guess I'll have to photograph and post my own snatch until your return.

Hope all turns out well for you

superfish is getting married

The Fish aren't biting... try here for some updated celebrity crap!

Plus she's funny!

http://yeeeah.com/blog/

P.S. Mr Superficial - Don't drink the water

superfish, i hope it's not too serious and that your family is doing better by the time you read this!! :)

everyone else.. there actually is internet in the middle east.. so we'll need to think up a different location! :P

and yeah.. seriously.. my work day just got wayyy longer..

coconuts? leaving the country? is he an illegal from puerto rico? belize? Or from the Tonga Islands? Which would mean that Mr. Superfish is 60lbs overweight in case he really were from the Tonga Islands.
Dayumn, I love his gritty remarks, must be a hottie , too sorta. Hope it's not too serious, too, Fishy! Good luck!

"TomKat Invites Others to Wear Purple Shrouds, Watch for Comet."- Funny shit

I've decided #45 STFU- thanks so much!!

#69 Ha

Sheesh, so many fricking sweethearts on here now. What's up with that? I think we all get it that we hope The Superfish Family is doing okay. We got that, I think we're good.

best wishes, i hope the superfish family is doing ok.

AAAaaahhhh!

best wishes, i hope the superfish family is doing ok.

Good luck with the family issues.

@72...Why don't you try clicking my link?

********************************************

*********************************************

Hope everything is okay superfish. Tough doody #85.

http://thedirtydisher.blogspot.com/

#92 et al: He already knows!!! He feels your love, trust me. He feels your fucking love.

Stay safe!

Oh hilarioushillary, sweetie, darling, it's so cute to see you make a lame attempt at irony by calling yourself hilarious and yet post absolutely nothing funny. But that's ok. I'm sure that if you keep practicing, and try really, really hard, you can someday reach a K-Fed level of intellect and manage to post something in which we would all find slightly amusing. Now why don't you go to your "happy place" and try to do that.

oh .. B.T.V. How impossibly ... lame? Duh. Get off my twat, fucker. Either you're crying a red river right now or your wife.

No updates until Monday?!

I'm never eating at this restaurant again.

(sotto voce) hope everything's okay...

HOOCHIE MAMMA

hillary sounds like one of those geeks that stand in Times Sqaure passing out free passes to comedy shows asking people "Do you like comedy?"

My answer to that is "No, i am a very serious person with very serious issues to attend to, such as punching ugly people in the dick."

Hahahahahahaha!

I hope it's your mom, and I hope she dies.

Oh hillary...come now. I think you can do better than that. But I had assumed that you were borderline retarded, and perhaps I gave you too much credit? Why don't you go watch some Sesame Street or Barney? I *think* you might be able to comprehend most of it. You might even learn a new word to use!

By the way, you are obviously begging for somone, anyone, to come near your twat, but my large cock is reserved for only prime pussy. However, you might have some luck on this website to find yourself someone to fuck

http://www.uglypersons.com/

You know who I miss? Mr White Secure American, or whatever his name was. How I have been longing to read one of his all-caps posts about someone shitting in his libturd salad.....come back, Mr., come back!!!

And I hope things are all good for you, Mr. Superfish Guy. But I basically come here for the snarky comments by other posters (and the occasional fight) so as long as everyone keeps on posting, I'll be good.

I don't believe it. That's the excuse I always give my boss when I just want to sit at home and masturbate and eat ice cream for 48 hours. The excuse about the cocnuts and people dying in foreign countries, that is.
Bottom line, excuses are unacceptable unless you're awesome like me.

I JERKED OFF IN tsarinaamanda's LIBTURD SALAD, AND SHE ATE IT!

105, what did you tell your boss? I'm always looking for new ideas...

Oooh, a fight! Thanks guys, I love you all Oooh, a fight! Thanks guys, I love you all

@62-
You're sadly right about Mexican women. I don't think I've seen one over 30 that isn't like, 5'2 and 300lbs with about 50 kids. Another thing I never got about Mexican women is why they wear skirts with t-shirts all the time, and never seem to shave their legs. Not a cute look....

@72/73-

That's fucking GREAT. I'm gonna have to explore that site now, thanks for giving me something else to occupy my time. Oh, and don't you listen to Hilary (I refuse to call her Hilarious, because she's NOT), she's just mad because she didn't think of it first. I like you...FWIW. Hell, I pretty much like everyone here, unless they're totally annoying or a bad troll. But I've never been too good of a judge of people...haha :)

@105-

YAY!! I MISSED YOU, WILL YOU MARRY ME? THEN I'LL ALWAYS HAVE SOMEONE TO JERK OFF IN MY LIBTURD SALAD....TRUE LOVE WILL NEVER DIE!!!

I TELL MY BOSS I'M LEAVING TO GO JERK OFF IN A LIBTURD SALAD WHICH IN MOST CASES IS YOURS!

108 NOT ONLY WILL I JERK OFF IN YOUR LIBTURD SALAD, BUT I'LL TOSS YOURS ALSO!

LIBTURDS SALADS ARE CALLING ME, MUST GO JERK OFF IN THEM

My boss got an erection when I told him about the libturd salad, and then rubbed it on my shoulder. Thanks Mr. White Secure American!!!

whoa? A talking vagina with a large cock? what's that shit about?? hilarious.

well, Fish, hope all is well with whatever is going on with your family and hope you have a safe trip...miss ya and your sarcasm!

@65 LL's quote: Used to be Kramer...

Haha!! Funny!! Not even worth mentioning his name!

take care ... we will be here when you get back ...

all the best to your family.

http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/

Safe trip.

DAMN IT!!!!!!!! I swear to God, I thought it was Libtard salad. I've been wandering around for 6 months with the wrong fucking name.

So Superfish is off to where there's no internet, just coconuts - and have you noticed there's no posts by dumbYELL, marsh_mallow whatever, Cock and Hole Takeover and others since the announcement??

Superfish is starting a new season of SURVIVOR - TROLL ISLAND!!!

Take care of the family... the trio of idiots (The Tridiots, as I call them) will still be fucking up when you get back.....

Tridiots.... sounds like superheroes!!!

i am from argentina. and i read you every noght before going to sleep. i will miss you!

NOoooOOooo.. this can't be true ...

I hope everything turns out for the best!

best wishes, i hope the superfish family is doing ok. i hope you feel my love.

Well at least there's Girl on Girl Friday going on RIGHT NOW at http://www.Cooterpunch.com !!

Hurry back,'fish! Hope all is going to be okay.

Best wishes and be well. I'll save my poison comments for the Hiltonspearslohankidrockcruise(lovingthecock) Monster next week.

xo

Hope all is well.

@119-

I think it WAS "libtard salad" in the beginning, but then I think it became "libturd salad" somehow. Either way, your name made me think of him, so it's all good. I'm in the middle of composing an ode to Mr White-Secure-American right now, when it's done, I'll post it on my Myspace and link for all to enjoy. Just as long as you guys are nice to me and don't make fun of my pics...I have a very delicate ego :)

I am far too important to read things in detail but WTF Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have had a pistol duel! Oooo wait that isn't a "love pistol" is it?

#129, bless you. My failing sanity shall live to see another day.

Ok, Ok! I'll say it!!!

I'm sorry Superfish for getting pissed, calling the authorities and having you deported. The close-up of the Spears Meat-Falps looking like raw chicken skin drove me to it.

Um, that was supposed to be Meat Flaps. Damn, just TALKING about the Spears makes me stupid.

I still can't get over how bad Britney looked.

Lohan's flash seems positively sexy in comparison.

@101...what a stupid freakin hillbilly comment. Do you know what Karma is? Stupid ass

#99 - Biatcho, you have to deal with those fuckers too? They act like those fucking flyers have magnets on them and literally follow you with them until you draw a weapon. And so far, none of those fuckers have been funny. Do you like comedy?... no fucker and I don't like bratty fucking college kids who can't find real jobs either. I have spoken to them in the past, comitted myself to tickets then told them juuuuust kidding!!! Oddly, they don't think I'm funny either.

Will send prayers your way SuperFlyFishGuy.

Today I am pondering this thought: Is it normal to think girl-on-girl Friday at Cooterpunch is hot when you are a straight female??!!

Oh yeah....

#138- thats called Repressed bi-sexuality

#138

In my book, that's completely normal. I mean, I think it is abnormal to think watching a girl get it on with a pole is hot. I'd much rather see a girl get it on with a girl. I think that is a universal thing, whether you are male or female, as long as you are heterosexual.

If a person is 100% heterosexual they will not get turned on with same-sex sexual acts. I am 100% heterosexual, however, I am not saying there is anything wrong with being gay or bi. I just believe that if someone is turned on by same-sex sexual acts then they can be swayed into being with the same sex...even if it's just a one time curiousity quenching thing. If a "heterosexual" man is caught getting excited at watching two men kiss then I doubt he is 100% heterosexual...that is my point of view

:lost:

What does it mean if a heterosexual girl gets turned on when a homo gets it on with a pole coming out of a lesbian, and what if the pole is covered in faggots and American flags and there's a large black man licking peanut butter off a spoon in slow motion while Melissa Etheridge rides his face like a jockey? Does that mean I'm gay?

#143-No that doesn't mean your gay...it simply means you are suffering from an Oedipus complex, which means you subconciously lust over your mother. I also will say from what you described that you suffer from a touch of Dimentia..and you also appear to be a bit delusional and confused as you mention that the large black man was slowly licking the peanut butter off the spoon while at the same time having his face ridden furiously.
That part was a bit tricky.

My prescription to you is:
Take 3 dosages of sleeping pills of your choice right before bedtime...
followed by sucking on the largest jaw breaker you can find while laying down relaxing in bed...
follow my directions and in no time you'll be peacefully sleeping like a log.

LMAO. Danny Devito.

Don't worry mate. Family first. ignore the other loosers...they obviously don't realize that it's a PERSON who keeps their sad little lives entertained.
Hope everything's ok.

How damned ironic! A loser who can't spell the word yet has the balls to call others names. Can you believe it?!

What the H!?

What does it mean if Danny Devito turns me on? Does that mean I'm a smurf?

#144 - My prescription for you would be to first remove the enormous statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary from your ass and then maybe watch some funny movies this weekend to understand this thing called comedy. Oh and look up sarcasm too.

And now that the Fishwipe is gone I can let you all know the latest news blast without him stealing it from me.

LINDSAY LOHAN JOINED AA!! That is so awesome that I can wait to hear Rich & JRZ verbally body slam that goofy bitch to the mat!
http://apnews1.iwon.com//article/20061201/D8LOB5000.html
New news is good news!

I just tried to post & got the weirdest error from a program called "Squid".
Anyone else getting this crud?

#149 - You're a smurf fucker! JK!

Hey, if you are wanting some freshy, stop by the AFJ and chat us up. We don't bite - much.

http://www.xanga.com/angry_ferret_jones

this is outrageous!
::deletes superficial bookmark, cookies and saved form information from firefox::

bye bye!!

::inserts www.hollywoodtuna.com into his address bar::

:D

141. Hmmmm, so the fact that you are a sexually conflicted male, who happens to frequently enjoy hours of rough lubeless anal sex with random male IV drug-using truck drivers, in the parking lot of your local gay bar, doesn't make you homosexual, as long as you claim that it's "just a one time curiousity quenching thing", ...

Kind of like Catholic penance. I'm into getting my ass plowed by men, but let your freak flag fly.

Oh, and I strongly suspect that the only "point" you are capable of making is that miniscule leaky tent that you call an erection.

Fuck off, and have a nice day.

I have a serious question here...what the hell is in Chris Farley's mouth in the 3rd picture???

i don't know why everyone keeps complaining about mr.fish leaving and having nothing to do when they can spend hours and hours reading the fabulously ridiculous comments and bitch fights on here.

still.

hurry back mr. fish

I'm not exactly sure what to do with myself without useless celebrity information. Hurry home.

i have to say that i'm not taking this very well.

i rely on this website to lift me out of the chaos of my life, if only for 20 minutes a day.

come back already.

p.s. homophobes: we're all partially gay and those that deny this fact are the faggiest of all.

I think I was a lesbian in another life, because even though I'm a guy, I'm really into fucking dykes. Does that make me gay?

No, it makes you a brave man with a high tolerance for leg hair.

Take care & be strong Superfish !!

Superfish, Sorry about the personal troubles and I hope everything works out well for you and yours.

Osh, you are not alone in finding short, fat, and balding men attractive. For a while I had a crush on Jason Alexander, who played George Constanza on Seinfeld. Maybe we can start a support group for people who find short, balding fat men attractive?

#150- lol it always seems to amase me how people try to lighten other people on sarcasm when in actuality they are the ones who are so dim-witted for not realizing that the POST WAS A SARCASTIC POST! for some reason, you remind me of Jessica simpson.

Now here's my prescription to you:
look at post #73 and imitate.

155- UMM before I tear you a new asshole, was that post meant for me or did you make a number mistake? I suggest you re-read.
FYI, I am a female...NOT MALE!

What does it mean if I rub a belt sander on my clit and a genie comes out of my asshole and sings me Don Ho songs and this is the only way I can orgasm? Does that mean I'm gay? Is there someting WRONG with me?

163 - You are a goddam freak, that is nasty.

# 83

its hard to be illegal and from puerto rico as they are in fact citizens

165. I apologize, but I thought I was clear in indicating my strong preference that my asshole remain intact. Of course, you may elect to remain a sodomite fuck toy. Good day to you, sir.

167. Your comment reminded me of Gerardo's Spanglish rap "Rico Suave", and Weird Al's version, "Taco Grande", ...

Taco ... grande. Taco ... grande

Yo quiero chimichangas y chile colorado
Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado
Las flautas y tamales, siempre muy bueno
Y el chile relleno

You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada
That's right, I want the whole enchilada
My only addiction has to do with a flour tortilla
I need a quesadilla

...

A Weird Al classic.

"Yo, I know pi to a thousand places.
Ain't got a grill, but I still wear braces."

"I'm nerdy in the extreme and
Whiter than sour cream"

I was at the Ivy this afternoon and I overheard two big wigs talking about some new talent Madyline? and how she is going to blow up next year and how they wan to mold her into the next biggest star. They said she hasn't done much yet but has amazing talent. Said she had a small photo in last months People Magazine and that they were going to some club Aqua in Bev Hills tonight to see her - do you knoo who this is? I'm curious as to who they think they can turn into the next megastar. They complained how she refused to cut her butt length dark hair. Who is this chick anyone heard of her?

Could it be Madeline Zima maybe?? She does have long brown hair...not sure it goes to her butt. She was on the show The Nanny years ago...was the youngest daughter. She's all grown up now and very pretty.

i hope everything's ok. i send my best 2 u + ur family =\
u always light up my day... i hope that everything turns out well

Nooooo... come back!!!!! I need my The Superficial fix! :'(

166. I do not deny it.

Does anyone else check back about a million times a day just hopeing that there is something new?

Someone has to have been doing something stupid in the celebrity world and I wanna KNOW!!!

#168
You too must look at post #73 and imitate.
gotta run now kiddies getting ready to go to school.

#168
GAYZOR, I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION TO YOU ONE IMPORTANT STEP, WHILE CARRYING OUT POST #73, BOTH YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER MUST JOIN YOU LOL. GOOD LUCK MY DEAR.

#164 - you show me some humorous sarcasm in any inane post you put up here and I'll show you a fat-ass gay who likes to insert inanimate objects into his anus because he's too fat & repulsive to get any real ass(look in mirror).

And I tried to OD before, but it didn't work because of my extreme tolerance for all things toxic. It's what keeps me healthy during cold & flu season, you know, the Undesirable Host Theory. You should try it out, choke on your own semen & die.

oh #178 - you show your teenage wit by using "i hope your parents die"... that's strictly for danielle but thanks for letting us know we're playing with a child here. You're officially on my Dead To ME List. Homothug.

No one is adequately covering the Rachel Zoe and Nicole Richie fiasco breakup. I've tried reading other blogs, but everything gives me a headache. No one else online is as witty and informative as you! I love Kirsten Dunst and continue to return to your blog time and time again despite your constant bashing of her. I hope you find some gory image of a snarled Zoe and emaciated Richie and compose a long blurb about how both are bratty overly tanned cry babies when you return.

No one is adequately covering the Rachel Zoe and Nicole Richie fiasco breakup. I've tried reading other blogs, but everything gives me a headache. No one else online is as witty and informative as you! I love Kirsten Dunst and continue to return to your blog time and time again despite your constant bashing of her. I hope you find some gory image of a snarled Zoe and emaciated Richie and compose a long blurb about how both are bratty overly tanned cry babies when you return.

180 - Homothug. Priceless.

Well if it's family then of course you should go. I bet you'd rather help that family member get better (if they're ill) instead of leave them and be on here. But it is a shame there's no news. But you don't update on weekends anyway! It's Monday tomorrow...so yeah. Got nothing else to say :|

heres to the hope that we actually get posts tommorrow!!!!!!

I'm sure Shitney is depressed that the fish is not here to Show us new pictures of her ugly vagina. "Aw Paris, now I can't show my vagina everyday anymore, I'm depressed. Now my left boob is still bigger and no one will see it" Then paris says "Just don't feed your baby till the fish gets back and then you can show your boob again. And don't wear a bra, it's so HOT when your boob is bigger. I'm sure Justin hasn't married Cameron because he wants you back"

177, 178. Again, my sincere apologies. Indeed, you are most certainly not a "sodomite fuck toy", nor do you "frequently enjoy hours of rough lubeless anal sex" in the parking lot of your local gay bar.

Your perspecacity and clever wit reveal your true nature. You sir, are clearly in a mature and committed relationship, with a wonderful man, I am sure.

Let's have a little talk about ...
tweedle beetles.

When tweedle beetles battle,
with their paddles in a bottle,
and the bottle's on a poodle,
and the poodle's eating noodles, ...

#180, #187- kisses to you both, on the forhead...no really.
I've been thinking...perhaps I was a bit mean by telling you that you are worthless on planet earth and should consider committing suicide. I also may have stepped alittle out of line by telling you your parents should also follow the suicide path at the time I felt they deserved. Sometimes I can be a little ruthless. However, you really shouldn't be so sensitive and take thigs to heart. You know, you responded with some pretty mean words...but I understand where they came from. You shouldn't take things so serious... I mean it's not like you were really considering looking like post #73...right?

By the way, did you take a look at post #73? My god I wonder how long it took to clean that beautiful beige carpet huh. I had that same exact carpet and they are absolutely a dream to walk on.

188. Menage a trois, with kisses on my forehead, or was it my foreskin? I will consider your most generous offer, kind sir.

In other news, ...

For UT fans lamenting UFs trip to Arizona ;^)

Rotten Crotch, you’ll always be,
Fifth in the SEC.
Good ol’ Rotten Crotch,
Rotten Crotch, Tennessee.

Thinking of you all weekend Superfish. Hope that things are all right.

#156 JoJo, That white, frothy fluid coming out of Chris Farley's mouth is called purging, which was either caused by the O.D. or the heart attack. It's when the body builds up pressure, and the stomach fluids need OUT.

Here's something to pass the time (and let you know how incredibly difficult it is to work with asshole actors): http://www.uselessjunk.com/article_full.php?id=13183

Personally, I'd love to go one round with Luis.

i love you.

Heh. I love it when a passing zidiot (Oh, yes, remember when |||||| was doing the FIRST! SECOND! THIRD! FOURTH! nonsense just this last week?) tries to take something as complicated as sexuality and boil it down to a bunch of hard-and-fast, black-and-white rules.

Let me tell you something: Just because YOU are heterosexual and something doesn't turn YOU on, doesn't mean that the something doesn't turn ANY heterosexuals on. You aren't some kind of Adonis human archetype that we should all strive to imitate.

By the way, major chuckles when you lost your temper to BigJism, thereby showing your immaturity, and then came back and tried to salvage your pride by condescendingly apologizing for being "too ruthless". Honey, take it from me, you didn't hurt any feelings. You just gave us a hearty laugh at havng reduced another troll to a screaming lather. Ha.

To BigJism: fight the good fight. I won't say I always like your posts, but you DO have a lovely way with trolls! :)

Biatcho - In a former life I was a retail manager in Manhattan at various establishments frequented by the gay street tough guy (formelry down low) community. They would walk in like 50 Cent, all screw faced and baggy clothes/ Timberland boot wearing, and slowly bop toward the latest fashionable footwear with that "I kill you" look. Then they would lispingly, effeminately "ax" if I had this particular style in girl's sizes, or better yet, in pink. I haven't even thought of Homothugs until you brought it back up. Well played, my lady. Well played.

#193 -ok ok we hear you loud and clear, two men kissing do turn you on but that's really nothing to be ashamed of...you are who you are and God still loves you for that, however, I really see no need for you to get so bent out of shape. Yes you may have a thing for Bigjism, perhaps it's his name that compelled you to his defense...I don't know...but know this, you are loved.

#189- Good morning my dear zor (strictly out of affection) {{kisses kisses}}.

In a former life I was a male prostitute in Venice Beach named "Roller Boy", and I was also involved in some light racketeering and radio payola for the Chinese Mafia, which is how I got shot 97 times in my rollerskates holding a corndog.

Osh, that's only valid if was outside of Hot 97's radio station in Manhattan right before an on air interview.

I think Osh should win an award. They're definitely the funniest person on here, maybe even funnier than Superfish. People like say, Biatcho, could really learn something. At least Osh is original. I wouldn't doubt that Biatcho snatched "Homothug" from someone else, and even if she did make it up herself (although I'm seriously starting to question whether Biatcho is really female), it's not even funny.

Superfish, so Uncle Whitey is hiding out on an island, eh?

God I loved Michael in the Planet of the Apes.
http://www.methodshop.com/tech/articles/powerofmakeup/michael-jackson.jpg

#198 - If you ever met a Homothug, you'd understand the humor. They probably don't have too many of those backstage and naked at third rate concerts. That said, I agree, Osh is fucking funny.

that friggen bites.
and yes, my work productivity will go up about 200% as well,
my boss also thanks you

Wow Rich, you're really fucking hilarious. I've never seen anyone naked backstage at a show, first rate, second rate, or third rate. I'm sure you would know the most about third rate nudity, though. With all of your intelligent, biting wit, I'm sure most women don't mind that your penis is the size of a gherkin pickle.

Cock 'n Balls... shouldn't you have a choker ball in your mouth right now while getting ass-raped by some third rate musician while your "boyfriend" watches? And all the while dreaming of someday being a famous photographer like Anton Corbijn knowing that you'll only end up working the strip in Vegas for $10 blow jobs?

#202 Hilarious post!

My Boss is back from FLA. today :( Oh well, nothing stops my hot ass from doing what I want too!! Time to check on Ferret!

What happened to the real BigJim?? The hot one, not this stupid troll MotherFucker who is obviously obsessed with gay commentary. Note to you Troller- YOU APPEAR GAY>

#203 - I am no connoisseur of fine pickles, as you apparently are (you groupies are such vaginal/ anal/ oral toy encyclopedias)... is the gherkin the really huge one? If so, yea, that would be me. I was merely agreeing with your past statements about how much better you are than the rest of us... and at such a tender age! Those garage bands sure are lucky to have someone like you to spew their spent children on. What a gal!

Rich - yeah I work in Chelsea, the HomoThug capital of the world! It's a lovely neighborhood during the day but at night (especially Thursday - Saturday) it's a frightfest. I thought gay meant happy?

Biatcho, I like the pretty little voices they have... they're like a Mentos, all hard on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside. Their parents must be so proud.

#203's parents must have cried themselves to sleep when they saw their little girl gargling some college boy's spunk on the latest GGW video. Sad I tell you... just sad.

Looks like RRTO has come out from under his/her rock. I guess the community college ceramics class has let out for the holidays.

Belated best to you and your family, Superficial Editor. ^_^

http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php