first?

first?

first?

opps...omg im so sorry for the triple post..i just got so excited lol. Anyway..that's lame she didn't get invited, but then again she's lucky..Tom cruise might jump on her big ass from all of the excitment.

Great, now your 3 times an asshole.

nicole, go fuck yourself it was an accident =) like your face.

I wouldn't invite Oprah to a wedding either. Not just because she's black, but I would want the guest to be able to get at least one plate of food.........

Maybe Oprah broke the couch?

No one ever invites Oprah to their wedding. Cause they don't want the fat cow devouring all the cake.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Oprah looks like the pet monkey I used to have - I miss that little fucker.

Poor Oprah, i guess she'll just have to swim in her money instead.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Maybe Richport....just maybe..

Forget about Oprah the Orca eating all the food. I'd be more worried about her eating the guests.

lucky #13!!!

i hope god smites them

I wouldn't invite Oprah to the wedding because she would try to upstage the priest......"You may kiss the BRI-I-I-I-IDE!!!!!!!" in that voice she does when she announces someone onto her show.

@10 Pet monkey? You mean pet Gorilla, right?

damn you big jim!!! damn you to helll!!!!

Xenu is my copilot.

Emptywebsite.com-over 200,000 unique hits a day, and not a damn thing on it.

...And the Number One Thing We'll Overhear from Behind the Altar at the TomKat Wedding.....
"But, Katie, he loves the cock!!!"

i'm sure oprah is sad that she won't be there to drink the grape Flavor Aid with the rest of the followers.

she can stay home and watch mars attacks and it'll be the same as being there in person.

#16 - it was a baby gorilla, I liked to call it my monkey, so when it was bad & I had to spank it, it sounded dirty.
Oprah came to visit one day & my monkey disappeared. i'm not sure if she sat on it, ate it or released it back into the wild, but I'm certain that bitch had something to do with it. Now, whenever I see Oprah, I can't spank my monkey.

I guess my invitation got lost.

#21 Yep, It would not suprise me one bit if they decided it was time to off themselves and their fellow cultees and return to the mothership. You know- if you read about what Scientologists believe it makes you laugh until you realize all the fuckers that believe it!!

Oprah's lucky though. But I think Tom was embarassed my the huge jack ass he made of himself on her show, so she doesn't get to go boo hoo :(

ass implants would make a nice wedding gift.
TCLTC

I just see TC crying at the honeymoon... it'll be the first time he sees her nude and he'll be so fucking disappointed that she has no cock.

TCLTC

Why would she be? Tom's appearance on her show is right around the time things went sour in his life. By sour, I mean crazy as fuck

http://www.celebslam.com

#15 lmao.. omg that is fing true!! I hate that.. I just want to smack her!!

they're all a bunch of stupid asstubes anyway - ALL OF THEM

I also heard that Oprah's production company, Harpo is going out of business...bbbahhhahaha just kidding. Going out of business...in 10,000 years maybe. Haha, rich.

Where will they register? the International Male catalog? Gay Cruises? The Men's section at Barney's? An all expense paid trip to Brokeback Mountain? Doubledongs.com?

MMM, Marx brothers are GOLD.

Why would Tom invite Pink and not Oprah? Nevermind, I forgot Pink had a dick.........

I KNEW they were racists! Just proves it.

So do you think when they play "Old Time Rock & Roll" at the reception Tom will slide across the floor pantless?

Hey Oprah, here are some things you could get Katie:

1) Her sense of individuality;
2) Her self-esteem;
3) A life;
4) Her ass (please);
5) A fiance` that doesn't fuck men.

pink has a big, thick uncut dick with an anchor piercing the head. god, she's so butch i know she's fisting that bitch husband corey hart ever night. god she's creeps me out.

katie deserves to be sacrificed at the altar. she's nothing but a high priced whore who sold her pussy to the highest bidder.

Instead of rice they'll be throwing VHS copies of Dawson's Creek and MI. And TC will run down the line, hands out on either side, smacking everyone's cock on the way to the limo.

It's probably best Oprah doesn't show... the might tell her the help needs use the service entrance. Besides, taking 12 hours to get your hair and face done to go to TC's wedding isn't exactly as much fun as having her face buried in Gayle's nappy dugout...

Wait a fucking minute here....doesn't Oprah crash weddings for her show? I smell publicity stunt here.

34--hee hee excellent Risky Business idea.

Also, will Tom run under an arch of "crossed swords?"

"Bumping Meatballs" will be on the menu.

40! HAHAHAHA!!!!

"Bumping meatballs". Tee, hee.

Do you guys remember that thread on here where Tom was hugging Steven Speilberg so tight that their cocks were all smushed together. That is what ANY male guest invited to the wedding can expect.

Yuck, I can soooo imagine John Travolta "prepping" Tom for the honeymoon. NOooooooo

#40 YESSS Bumping meatballs is what TC did to Speilberg. OH hahahaha WHY Lord!

i bout SHAT myself at bumping meatballs.

Maybe he'll get plowed at his reception and try putting the moves on Katie's dad.

Stallion, many thanks for your phrase getting us additional laughs here.

#46 - HA!!! Tom, for the last time that's my napkin and no you did not drop your dinner roll on my lap.

Rich--He'll DEMAND to dance with her father for "Daddy's Little Girl".

Stallion, I've tried to picture what you look like and I think you look like "The Todd" from "Scrubs". You probably sound like him, too! Oh, and on the show, he's gay...

Anyway, Oprah sucks. She's a condecending, spoiled brat who has plans for world domination... Peace!

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

#49 I have tried to picture Stallion too (vibe hummmmms)

These scenarios are fucking hilarious and during all the inappropriate man-hugs and accidental bumping of said meatballs, Katie will be as glassy-eyed and Xenu crazed as usual. That's it, I am going after full custody of poor little Suri.

In my above post I forgot some gay quotes around the word "accidental"

No explanation as to why they invited Matt Lauer...

Since getting with Tom, Katie has begun to dress and comport herself like my 70-year old stepmother.

Has anyone ever clicked the blackbeatpress link on #49?
If you have then you know this motherfucker (Triumph) looks just like Carlton Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I could be a little wrong though, they all look alike.

"I've tried to picture what you look like"....Stop having dreams about me you faggot.....I'm sure you're dancing around singing Tom Jones as we speak, thinking of me.......
*going to throw the fuck up*

this wedding has got to be the biggest publicity joke ever. And the Joke is on the everyone who believes this wedding will infact produce a legal marriage.

As of 3 days ago, it was reported that the marriage wont be legal. the paper work was not submitted for state marriage, and Tom cant qualify for a catholic marriage.

Its a big grand stand act and it makes me sick.

I guess, I could give her my invitation, I was not planning on going anyway.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Oprah will go off and do something productive, like try to break into Hermes 15 minutes after closing.

WTF?! I just was looking at the Tara Reid thread. I don't know if I should say it.......... but I llllooovvve danielle's prom pic. My Lord. hahahhahahah I know it could have been trolled , but I prefer to believe it to be real!!

supposedly katie has spent 3 grand on wedding night lingerie. i think she really spent the money on a dick transplant.

#59 - Strap-ons cost 3Gs? I bet she could get it done for whatever it costs to buy one of those ill-formed squashes and duct tape. What's that, like $7, tops?

Bleech. This whole wedding thing skeeves me out. I heard a Catholic ceremony on Saturday and a Scientology wedding on Sunday? And WHAT is UP with those crazy vows? Give her a frying pan? Why, to keep the rest of the crazies in Tom's life away from her?

And why is she constantly sticking her tongue out? Annoying McDrivesmenuts.

All I hope is that after the Space Nuptuals, the Superfish posts plenty of pics. I am hoping for a horrible man hug between Travolta and the Cock Lover. Well, hoping is not quite the word; dreading is more like it.

And Katie always has her tongue out cuz she is a brain washed cunt who appears to NEVER be with her baby. I also hate her pants.

P.S. I am soooo disappointed in Brooke Shields. For fucks sake...

That tongue out thing is a common side effect of a lobotomy. Drooling, too.

are scientologists forbidden to use tailors?

I got them a "Dr. Bob's Pickle Tickler" strap-on/vibrator combo. It was the cheapest thing on their registry at Down-Low Don's Dildo-Rama. They have fancy taste.

Then bucks they didn't invite Oprah because she's black. Those damn racists.

lol

Katie's gonna walk into the reception and it will be like that mansion scene in eyes wide shut only full of turd burglers and reynold's wrap hat wearers

OH DAMN, Oprah did the read between the lines smackdown

I'm pretty sure it's not possible to have a catholic ceremony given the fact that Tom is divorced, not catholic & gay.

Why would Oprah buy a gift for a wedding that she is not invited to?

Oprah should get them a new closet for Tom to come out of.

Wow first Hermes and now Tom.

I wonder if sex with Tom is like fucking an angry smurf?

Well with the surrendercrats win, we all know that the terrorists are feeling good enough to lauch more attacks.

When it comes to an attack in Italy on Tomkat's wedding, I'm with the terrorists.

Allahu TCLTC

she's in good shape for some one who squeezed out a kid six months ago or whatever. Not all sloppy like britney - tight as a drum.

I will be sending Kate a plastic surgery gift card. Down Syndrome looking bitch.

What's with those teenie, eenie, little bang thingy's???

Man, what did Tom do to that girl? I used to think that Katie Holmes was one of those people who could never look bad EVER. Now she barely looks good at all. She has that weird face fat that comes from popping too many Vicodins and her skin looks like it never sees the light of day. I still can't make sense of any of this.

And then again, if someone told me that he would finance my $10 million dream wardrobe if I just went through with a sham wedding, I might partake. I just might.

Bumping meatballs, bumping bagels...it's all gay to me.

Poor Orca Swim-free, she probably just wanted to go to TomKat's wedding for the food anyways.

Other than shopping for too big pants that accentuate her non-butt, what does this woman do exactly? Yeah, yeah, she was in batman begins... but again, she didn't really do anything. Or maybe she's accentuating Tom's acting with her non-carreer.

what in the hell is with all the pants she wears? why, why, whyyyyyyyy does she feel the need to put on stillettos AND THEN try them on, and yet they STILL drag the ground? i don't get it, is the tailor blind or something?

that's because if she goes to the wedding and jumps on couches, she will probably break them. and knowing tom-kat, they have $900,000 couches there.

LAST!!!! WAHOOO!

nicole, go fuck yourself it was an accident =) like your face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It doesn't matter if you posted it once or three times. You're still an asshole for posting "First" anyhow. What's the point of posting "First" if you have nothing meaningful to say? Oh yeah, that's right! Only attention whores do stupid shit like that.

Not sure if he's wearing a tux or just a suit, but regardless, you can bet he'll have a Cincinnati bowtie.

TCLTC

I invited Oprah to my wedding, bitch never showed. Now I'm divorced. thanks alot Oprah.

Boo - freakin - hoo

how sad :(

I've heard that Katie's going to play Diana in a revival of "V",that's why she keeps looking like she's dislocating her jaw like a snake.