FIRST

I am so awesome... what was this about?

YEEEE HEEEE!!!

Memorandum
To: World
From: Jrzmommy
Subject: Michael Jackson

HE'S A FUCKING CHILD MOLSTER--REMEMBER?!! STOP INVITING HIM TO SHIT.

I'm seeing double - maybe I'm getting a wonky eye.

BLOHAN IS COVERED WITH SCALES... or at least her dress is!

New post at "The Angry Ferrets."

It's about fucking deer!
It makes this post look like yesterdays news.

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

Q: Why does Michael Jackson love K Mart?

A: Because young boy's pants are always half off!

Thank you. Thank you very much. Really, you are too kind. Thanks so much. Safe ride home, eveyone. Good night!

What soup does Michael Jackson order at Chinese restaurants? Cream of Sum Young Guy

The only comeback MJ likes is the one he's looking down at when he sprays the back of a preteen.

Why does Lohan look like a stewardess on Singapore Airlines?

What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?

Hanson.

enough with the constant pimping for ferret's site, it's a one-note blog, completely unremarkable in the blogosphere.

I love you guys.

Hey...what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other fucks little boys.

@13 yourlordandgod - I know your a fucking troll because this is the first time you've used that name on the Fish.

DO NOT make me ANGRY!

YOU WILL NOT LIKE THE RESULTS!!!
*******************************************

New post at "The Angry Ferrets."

It's about fucking deer!
It makes this post look like yesterdays news.

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

one-note, played yet again. simpleton.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have Michael Jackson in my garage.

As a sidenote, Lindsay Lohan's vagina smells like diarrhea.

#13 Yourlordandgod: Is your name Bryan Hathaway by any chance?

MY lordandgod does not post on websites. He's too busy smiting (smoting), fuck it, killing evil people.

I thought being a celebrity has become less about entertainment theatrically and more about them just bumbling around acting like idiots. I think they are doing their jobs well.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

So is it my lord and god together, as in in two separate holy entities fighting crime like Batman and Robin, Cagney and Lacey, or Starsky and Hutch? Or is it simply one holier-than-thou smite-meister reaffirming that it is in fact both lord and god? Please clarify.

Did you guy's know there is a new post at Angry Ferrets?

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

I hope I don't piss my lordandgod off, might get struck with lightning........

@15...hahahaha

why does lohan look presentable? its so much harder to hate her...

Lindsay only made it halfway through the show because she fell down some stairs and hurt herself.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

15...hahahahaha

why does lohan look presentable? it's so much harder to hate her...

Blohan looks remarkably good for someone who's about to hit 50!

15...hahahahaha

why does lohan look presentable? it's so much harder to hate ther that way.

#16 & #23 - Did you guys hear there's a new post at AFJones?

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

(to quote Jim Carey: Smite me, O mighty smiter!)

who dresses that girl? Michael Jackson?

Man, she is looking haggard.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

All, since I did not give frenchtoaststix its rightful props yesterday for being the first of eleven posters to make the funny about ladles I am going to repost it so we can all see how good & great & astoundingly funny frenchtoaststix is:

Posted by frenchtoaststix on November 15, 2006 9:44 AM

It looks like "ladles look out." Perhaps Bioplant is right; he's on the sauce. I have a spatula that I could whack him upside the head with.

Jackass makes his "S" look like a 3; wheer did he goe to skewl?

Favorite Lindsay Lohan quote: "Paris is a cunt."
Favorite Michael Jackson quote: "Oh yeah, that's it Macaulay, right there."

#32
Sarcasm . . . I recognize that.

if by "new" you mean yet more of the same, sure, there's a "new" post over at the one-note ferret. but you can pretty much just read one post anywhere on the site and be done with it. but it might hold lasting appeal for angry autistics.

#35 Autisitcs are only socially impaired and typically bright, not retarted, like you.

Autistics are also better spellers!

Yeeeah RichPort, Stallion, commissioner and jrzmommy, I did here of a new post over at the Angry Ferrets awesome blog.

Something about butt-slamming a deer!

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

Has anyone looked into chemically castrating Michael Jackson, by force if necessary? I'm just saying.

that ferret site is stupid- and it just made me an involuntary bulimic.

Parisite, Blohan, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar...
Awards ceremony? sounds more like a circus.

...oh and a new post on AFJ's site.
http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

She looks like the goddamned Joker with the look on her face

http://www.celebslam.com

I hope Lindsay Lohan dies. I sincerely mean that.

@40 veggi - I know your 'lordand-douchebag' from post #13 above.
You're not fooling anybody, that's another name never used before on theSuperficial.

New post at "The Angry Ferrets."

It's about butt-slamming a deer!
It makes this post look like yesterdays news.

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

veggi: yeah ferret's site is not for everybody...especially douchebag mongoloids like yourself with the intelligence quotient of a crushed aluminum can.

Daddy likee those shoes. Who's wearing them kinda spoils it, though......

I just want to know who the hell does this girl's makeup. It is always so hideously bad! The more makeup they slap on her, the worse she looks. She's starting to look like a drag queen version of herself.

Someone should really tell her less is more with makeup - especially when she could totally work the all natural "girl next door" look. That shade of pink lipstick is so freaking hard to pull off anyway but with the heavy eye makeup she comes off looking like a junior high girl who's just learning to use makeup and who just keeps using way too much trying to be "glamourous".

She's only 20, but with all the makeup she's looking like a rode-hard 45. She was so cute and fresh looking in Mean Girls, that really was a good look for her and I would love to see her get back to that.

She looks bloated and 50. In 5 years, Elizabeth Taylor will look fresh next to her.

I LOVE ANGRY FERRET! His new post is fabulous!

Why?
Why do her boobs sag so low?
Why is her hair in a a fugly messy pony tail?
Why does it look like she's ready to give the mic head in the second picture?
Why does she look 10 years old in that 3rd picture?
WWWWHHHHHYYYY?
I know its just ONLY the WORLD MUSIC AWARDs in LONDON, but come on.......Deam she sucks ass!

if you go to popsugar.com, there's a story on page 2 about how lindsay is GQ's obssession of the year. she supposedly gave an interview at her hotel about how bulimia and anorexia nervosa are the new "trends" in hollywood and that she doesn't eat. they also posted a video as well. (gag) the site also has photos of her acting as if she's on crack. pretty amusing...almost as amusing as the broad being "obsession of the year".

#4

To: The World
Re: Things To Be Thankful For

Be thankful your mother didn't sit on her ass all day at the computer posting to celebrity websites while she was supposed to be raising you. Oh, you were at school, so it was okay. NVM.

Why is anyone giving a flying fruitbowl about Michael Jackson? Last I checked it was 2006. Sure, everyone loves watching a good train wreck now and then, but who could honestly expect this man to make a comeback so late in the game? Expecting a "comeback" from MJ is like expecting Farrah Fawcett to make a new best selling swimsuit poster. That time is gone, passed, over with....let it go. The world has moved on. There's a better chance of K-Fed busting a box office record with his upcoming film remake of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo than this clown- made of rubber cement and human flesh - has of another huge hit. Sure, he was great once, but even then he relied heavily on his dancing ability and overbudgeted videos as a marketing gimmick to help stand him out of the crowd. Not that he's talentless, just overrated. -_-

why doesn't she just go all the way and completely stop wearing pants?

to DanYELL's dyke lover, Marshmallow--Be thankful this place doesn't have a bell tower and I don't own a deer rifle. cunt.

3 questions about Lohan's appearance:

1) Why did she change clothes? How long is this freakin' show? Unless it runs over a couple days, like Lollapalooza or something, why would you need to change clothes? Unfortunate backstage incident, maybe?
2) Why can't we see her vagina? You know she's going commando, so no up-the-dress shots? I thought the European photogs were more aggressive than ours. Disappointing...
3) Didn't her UK record label drop her? So what's she doing at the World Music Awards in London? I'm beginning to think this World Music Awards thing is a lame-ass collection of has-beens and never-weres. Did anyone who is actually talented appear there? Just wondering.

people who like veggies, marshmallows & lords are fagasses.

ferrets, however, are god-like!

55- Excuse me?

There's no excuse for ya, Sasquatch. Get bent.

Jrz - I'll be the second gunman in the grassy knoll...

Look bitch, I haven't mentioned your pathetic ass on this thread for the past couple of days. I've been posting comments RELATED to the story. YOU are the one who likes to start up this childish shit. YOU can get bent.

And you can get bent too ass sniffer aka bitchport.

What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?

foreplay.

BA-ZING!

Jeez.....someone's a little PMSsy today? What's the matter, DanYELL, did you and Marshmallow have little lover's spat?

#62. Gross...yet amusing.

Ummmmm (strictly dickly).

I could care less about YOUR lifestyle.

#65 - Why involve me? I didn't invoke your evil spirit. I simply expressed my disdain for marshy. You seem like you're making friends now... well done. Isn't that what you really wanted all along anyway? I don't plan on serving you again until January '07. Please study, then save up any commentary for that time. Many thanks.

Oh yea, go fuck yourself.

That photo with all the guys- they're playing 'spin the Lohan'- get her drunk, spin her 'round, and whoever she points to gets their dick sucked. And whoever is standing behind her gets her from the back!
Carry on...

#66. Go find SHUT and get together with THE FUCK UP. The only thing you'll be "serving" in 07 are those cute little meals given to the homeless during the cold season.

Take your pathetic ass somewhere with that obnoxious shit. You're getting boring and lame. Go fuck your troll and have a smoke.

While you're there:

Go fuck your mother.

Rich: You pass out meals to the homeless? My God, you are so awesome! DanYELL says you pass out meals to the homeless. That's cool......YOU'RE COOL! But she says it like there's something wrong with doing that?

She's looking for a reaction, but all these trolls are getting me... wha's that..? huh..? snooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore...

Go find SHUT and get together with THE FUCK UP.

Jrz, is that comic gold or what? Priceless (meaning, who the fuck would pay for that stupid shit.)

Danielle---get it right.

Anyway. Back to the STORY. I just found this very funny story on blowhan.

Lindsay Lohan booed at WMA's
LONDON, Nov. 16 (UPI) -- World Music Awards host Lindsay Lohan was booed by the London audience then fell down the backstage stairs and gave up her post at the helm.

The 20-year-old Hollywood star was visibly upset at the booing she received each time she came onstage Wednesday night, but was not seriously injured in the fall, the Daily Mail reported Thursday.

"Lindsay was devastated, she came off stage and fell, and so she had to give up. It looked incredibly painful," a witness told the newspaper.

The entire evening was not a total bust, however. Lohan picked up from the "gifting room" backstage, a Fish'n'Flush toilet, which included an aquarium of live goldfish.

Paris Hilton and singer Nelly Furtado were similarly entranced by the toilet, and organizers promised all three their toilet would be shipped overnight and waiting for them when they got home, the Mail said.

Lohan also grabbed five pairs of Revolution sunglasses, which she said she would give "away as Christmas gifts."

Imagine...a toilet with "fish" in it! I thought Lohan WAS the fish. That's odd.

Jrz: Rich, you dropped your SHUT THE in my FUCK UP!
Rich: No, Jrz, you dropped your FUCK UP in my SHUT THE!

Remember in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka when Flyguy had the pimp daddy shoes with the fishbowls in them? And then he broke them on the sidewalk.
That was awesome.

This woman is a waste of space. I can't believe they allow her to utilize valuable oxygen!!!

I just saw that movie over the weekend! I think it was on BRAVO or one of those channels. I laughed so hard at that part.

I wonder if anyone actually wore those kinds of shoes back in the day.

Jrz - I'll be the second gunman in the grassy knoll.

code for wanting sloppy seconds...eeeewwwww

Are we about to get another heartfelt apology from someone in NE DC? Is she back on her meds? What the fuck is going on here?

:]

Sloppy seconds is better than no pussy at all, eh doc?

Jrz - I think the clinical tests are over and the placebos aren't working. She's even insisting we spell her name correctly. Whatever drug she was helping test needs a few more million for R&D. I just hope she's the person they're talking about when they say If you take Cumfelcha, you may have a seizure.

..."If you experience persistent berating on blog comment sections you could be an irretriveable douchebag. Consult a therapist immediately."

http://www.zingerbug.com/Comments/love_romance/lately.gif

Contemporary celebrities are a fucking joke. They are "allowed" to fuck up far too much. What happened to the good old days when Frank Sinatra would personally hang you while Zsa Zsa Gabor set you on fire, all the while Marilyn Monroe would stab needles into your eyeballs for screwing up your lines? Inquiring fucking minds want to know!

i'm not clicking on any fucking links you provide, DanYELL. Knowing you I'll go there and some hood will shoot me in my face when the page opens. so funk that.....what's the link of?

Click on it and see.

FUNK THAT.

Quit saying that! Just say fuck, damnit.

#73- Oh YEAH! Greatest.Movie.Ever.

In the 80's/90's that pimp outfit looked ridiculous (or like something Prince would wear.) Now it's almost fashionable. (hahaha- I am so old...)

PS: Trolls are the very devil.

Jrz - Weird. That link led here:

http://www.hotghettomess.com/index.php?set_albumName=hgm_qn&id=queens_HOTGHETTO1&option=com_gallery&Itemid=48&include=view_photo.php

I think it's her... she is strictly dickly you know...

www.myspace.com/danz_1986

FUNK NO I WON'T SAY FUCK

#89 - It's worse than I thought.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

You have jupiter sized balls for throwing that out there... it must have been part of a 12 step program.

My. Fucking. Eyes...

Did you go to my page? What? I think I'm an average looking person. I'm not ugly.

No way in hell am I going to any site DanYELL directs me to. I'll get carjacked.

*tear*

#93 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! My favorite part is the country she'd like to visit: Tokyo.

#13 - Thanks for your support. After I finished fucking your mom (in the ass) today, I left you $5 under your pillow. It seemed only right, since I did nail her on YOUR bed, and then wiped my dick on your Spiderman curtains.

The numbers speak for themselves. For a "one-note blog" I get almost as much traffic as your Grandma's throat. And as you and I and most of the Navy knows, that is a LOT of fucking traffic. Because, you know, she's a lice-infested octogenarian whore.

So piss off, you little one-hit wonder, because you are cutting in to my fantasy time.

I'll give you a few minutes to look up "octogenarian", you stupid twat.

#96 - as much traffic as your Grandma's throat?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh shut up, you ass. i know tokyo is a city.

skeet skeet

I used to live in beautiful downtown Maryland.

lohan is fucking ugly. she's overrated.

She's quickly become like this generation's Elizabeth Taylor. She just skipped the talented part and went right to crazy overly made up weirdo.

oh i get it, you're angry. sorry about the one-note thing, clearly i was wrong. about your writing on your own site, i'm looking at a sample now and i'd say it's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

whoops, sorry about that, now what was i just reading? oh yeah, i'd say
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wow. So witty. Your parents must be proud.

If you butt-battling homos will step aside for a second, here's fair and balanced account of what happened:

"Lindsay Lohan was left red-faced last night when her hosting duties at the World Music Awards in London were met with boos from the audience. The pop star/actress looked visibly upset by the frosty reception and abandoned her duties halfway through the Earls Court ceremony. Reports claim she tumbled down a flight of stairs backstage and had to rest. Her role was taken over by individual awards presenters, who attracted similar heckles from the audience in a largely confused and disorganized ceremony."

haha too bad for her! i never knew she was such a GOOD host.

Where are the Michael Jackson photos?

Posted by Brain Embolism on November 16, 2006 10:14 AM

@40 veggi - I know your 'lordand-douchebag' from post #13 above.
You're not fooling anybody, that's another name never used before on theSuperficial.

Honey, please learn to spell. As for what I believe you are trying to say, which is difficult to decifer for your spelling, I am veggi and veggi alone. And I've used this name on the superficial way before your mama ever dreamed you'd be a cumsnatcher. As for the ferret site, it blows. So does jrzmommy. End of story.

I agree with 13 and veggi. Sorry Ferret, but you're not that funny. And if all of the readers of your site are like Brain, then thank God I can't count myself amongst them.