FIRST!

yummy. raw masculinity.

Yay! I feel so clever.

holy hell, is this a Geico commerical?

Aww! I want so bad to like you Matthew, yet you insist on producing pictures like this! What's wrong with you? You are a delicious, delicious man! NOW ACT LIKE IT, DAMMIT!

If he wasn't an actor he'd have no teeth and body lice... and a CAT cap.

I don't know about this guy.
It took him what - a year and a half - to discover Penelope Cruz doesn't speak English. That's longer than TC took...

"GOLLUM LIVES", and his looking for the "PRECIOUS", poosey of course.

what a fucking gargantuan vein, I hope there aren't any mosquitos around or his a dead man.

Why are we looking at pictures of a homeless tweaker?

What has happened to Matthew? He use to be this hot, sexy, attractive man. Now all that is left is some crazy, grungy wildebeest.

Well, that's two for two for me today....what else should I find and then post here for the Suprfish to then post? Hold on....

Oops--I'm sorry, two for three, I forgot about the Kanye West sippy-sippy thing that hasn't been posted.

I fucked my sister, and my life is great. Fuck him for judging me.

Where's Matt? All I see is in the picture is the guy that always bugs me for change at the intersection

http://www.celebslam.com

I just wanna know what concert he's at.

Okay Ready... I'd Hit It. But dirty sex, really sweaty, nasty stuff, the kind that I would have to shower up after and run to confession.

Good God! He looks funny in that upper left corner picture. The patented McCona Twist.

Sienna Millers weak apology for being a superdouche in Pittsburgh: "“I’m very sorry about being rude but I was working so hard on the movie The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh. I was really tired and it came out wrong. I feel terrible about it.”

Scarlett Johansen is working on an album AND there may be a sex tape of her and some dude in a car!!

He seems to be having fun in those pics!

New post at The Angry Ferrets.

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

P.S. Only if he isn't a fudgepacker w/ the one nutted biker. AND only if my Superfish boyfriends don't find out.

McConaughey, meet the Matthew
He's the modern stone-age faggoty
From the town of Asscrack
He's a page right out of history
Some day, maybe Matt will win the fight
And that fag will stay out for the night
When you're with Matthew McConaughey
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
You'll have a gay old time...........

jrz- I'm having a sippy-sippy or two for lunch.

Except, you can't buy mother-lovin' alchohol until the mother-fuckin' polls close today!

I know Mconagay is a total 'mo but DAMN!, the guy knows how to party

total props, it's not a party 'til somoene gets arrested

Look guys, it's Everyone's Boyfriend.

"Allright allright allright"

Commish: Is that so people don't do the old Eddie Murphy routine?
Drunk white guy: (laughing) I just voted...for Jesse Jackson!
Same white guy all sobered up: He fucking won?

He disgusts me, but I'd still hit it.

#23 No, Is that true?? The Outrage!! I have a hot date tonight and I was gonna bust out for some Boone's Farm. :(

He was partying it up at K-Earl's "concert."

Which proves just how gay he is.

#20 Was gonna post but someone already has my highly coveted user name on Xanga. Shit. PrettyBaby has always been my nick. (Pouts, then whines...)

I can imagine one night with that guy is a helluva good time you wouldn't forget, unless you OD'd. Some night that would end like "then we woke up in a ditch next to a midget and LaToya Jackson."

I would want to pick a time about 2 weeks after he shot a movie, when he was only slightly grundged.

(sigh)

@31 - PrettyBaby, try registering this way

Pretty-Baby or

Pretty_Baby or

Nice-Ass

Huge-Rack.

Just trying to help.

And of course by "sisters" he means sweaty, hairy linebackers... let's see my wife masturbate to him now!

#29

Can't buy til after seven where I live. I keep plenty in my bar at the office, but the cleaning guy has been helping himself. Like I can't tell. Fucker.

I swear, if Elizabeth Dole calls me one more time, I'm switching parties.

wait, #23, what does that mean? Can't buy alcyhol until the polls close?? Where do you live???? I'm scared & confused.

Hmm......I must go test this theory of yours. To the Kwik-E-Mart to buy booze!

#36

State law where I live. Can't purchase sippy-sippy from seven a.m. to seven p.m. on election day.

If you amatures would keep several bottles of scotch, brandy or vodka in your mini fridges at the office, you wouldn't have this problem, now would ya'?

@38- In Louisiana, as you enter the voting booth, you are handed a Strawberry Margarita and a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

That's why you stock up the night before!

Dammit. In Ohio, all we get is a warm Miller High Life with a cigarette floating in it.

@41: Hey, I'm in Ohio and all I got was a kick in the cunt because I didn't vote Blackwell. Go figure?

In Baltimore, you get a little glass stem and some sort of yellowish rock, weird huh?

Isn't that Baltimore's state rock?

@44 No, but I'll give you the Baltimore state cock.......

Stallion: are you an O'Malley man or an Erlich man? How about Steele or Cardin?

#43 and #44 That's awesome.

In CA, we get tokens for tokin' at the polls. Ah-nold loves the green party.

@42...Thanks for the heads up. I haven't done my "civic duty" yet today (unless you count masturbating...did that twice), so now I know what I'm in for. I'll take the kick for a vote against Blackwell.

@46 I don't give a fuck about either one. I don't vote at all. Funny story for you though. I was at the Ravens game Sunday and someone put a Erich sticker on my hat. I didn't think anything of it until later when some drunk bitch got in my face and said fuck Erlich. I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about until I remembered the sticker. She tried to take it off my hat and I slapped her hand away. Needless to say in about fifteen minutes it was about four of us taking on the whole bar. Good times. Hence why I don't vote, but I'll kick some ass over it.............

@45: I vote for MOREHEAD.

As much as I look for him Mr. Albert Kent Holic still isn't on the ballot. I'll vote for Al K. Holic anytime, though I will consider switching to that Morehead character.

In my nieghborhood they give you half drunk 40's of Private Stock... and they still make you tap the fucking bottle...

@50 so do I, now get to work.......

There is serious talk in Louisiana about letting the colored folks vote next year. I'm certain our new Governor will be none other than Col. Sanders.

Ah, the perks of living on a US caribbean colony (the only colonial possession that remains in the world)...and having my own business, I can get hammered on a tuesday historical election...

...and wear a Body Glove mankini over my glistening, bloated, hairy body.

cheers!!!

I think voting for these jerkoffs is a lot like laughing at a three year old when they spit milk out of their mouth at the dinner table, or when they say something like "Shitterhead"---it just encourages them.

I cannot vote any longer, voting for a lesser of all evils does not make me sleep better at night. Knowing I had nothing to do with who gets elected makes me feel great.
As does vodka cocktails, a smooth joint & cigarettes.

God Bless America.
I love vokda. Whenever I drink it, the worries (and the clothes) melt away.

I am voting tonight. And NOT for Patty Wetterling, even though her poor boy was kidnapped a few years ago. She will tax anything that moves here or doesn't move like in the case of the taxes she like to give the dead. But after that I will go see my friend Pete. He treats me like the all-you-can eat buffet. Nice!

#54 Can I cum and visit you :)

Should we start a "Countdown to Rehab" poll for Matthew? I say in 6 months he'll be checking in... for exhaustion, of course.

How can Matthew not get laid when his neck looks like a giant penis shaft.

Oh, and in my part of Louisiana, they give you a Hurricane, some beads, and show you their tits. And then we all decide who we want to be the next American Idol.

He should be on the CMA awards with Faith Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1bwMOc0I7Y

He should go back to getting high, stripping his clothes off, and playing the bongos in his living room. He was much hotter then. Someone needs to turn a hose on this new Matt-eiw dog!

who let the dogs out? who? who? who? who? who?

That Faith Hill video was priceless. I don't blame her. Beat by an "American Idol"?

@58...sure why the hell not, you can even send me racy pictures to barbadoslim69@yahoo.com, I'll pencil you in and put out a couple of clean towels :)

they won't be clean for long...

re: the Faith Hill video clip. She says she was only joking. Yeah, sure you were. Man didn't she realize the camera was on her? dumbass.

@66...yea, she's only saying that to cover her ass. And did you see in the beginning of the clip..she is SO sure she is going to win...that's the part I like.

Man, I'm glad I didn't watch that shit and spent my evening at the gym. I can't walk very well, but my legs look fabulous.

Gretchen Wilson makes me want to hurl everytime I see her overplucked eyebrows and bloated face. Carrie Underwood is a stupid, cheap shoe-pushing bad dye job.

Re: Faith Hill... she is so busted!

Zanna: YES! She throws her arms up and everything, and then her face turns into something that looks like a bulldog chewing on a bumble bee. Looks like Faith ain't no Rebecca of Sunnybrook fucking Farms afterall.

Cuntry 'Music' makes me want to convert to Islam and wage jihad on the lower states... it urks me that much...

jrz and zanna- Faith didn't get where she is by being nice. I bet she's hell to live with. And I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what she was nominated for. Probably because I don't listen to country music.

Rich- I'll choke Gretchen with her Christmas lights and stick a "Skecher" up Carrie's ass.

If I was married to Gretchen Wilson I'd be an alcoholic asshole too.

Hahaha Faith Hill!! That was fantastic! She was so nnnnot joking. Yeah jrzmommy, she had a HORRIFIED look when she realized that they did not call her name. Oh wow, I hate country music, but always thought this broad was as sweet as me. But no more!@

Besides, even joking around like that shows a huge lack of class

Anyone named Gretchen desrves to be biting my pillow as I ass ream her lubelessly...

@76 - you are so right on PrettyBaby! So right on!

If the CMAs are held next year, the terrorists win.

The South is the main reason I hate Abraham Lincoln.

Honestly, something happens to me when I hear country music. It's like those people that said Mary Hart's voice caused them to have seizures back in the 80's. I like get mean and can't concentrate. I hate it. I hate the fucking hicks who sing it, too, and have no idea why there are country western stations in New JErsey.

There are no Cuntry stations in New York City. That's the only good thing that happened during Giuliani's tenure. That and better weed. Cuntry 'Music' is like having 20 nasally, raspy Jewish granmothers bitch in your ear at the same time, only to fucking banjos.

#79 & 82 What the hell?! You are so funny, I swear

Sweet, Faith Hill pulled a Zoolander.

Richport, I just don't think I could fuck you- I'd laugh so hard and wreck the mood

Hey, hey, hey.... Being the sweet little southern girl that I am, I can honestly say that not all wife divorcing, cheatin' on your cousin, lost your house and your dog died country music comes from the south. Yes, it may be the mecca but not all the country singers are born and raised here. Lets all be honest with ourselves, there are "hicks" everywhere, not just in the South.

BTW, we must be doing something right because it seems that all you "northerners" keep migrating this way.

#86 Yeah Beauty, look at that twit Shania Twain from Canada. My ex loved her and that was okay by me cuz he was horrible in bed anyway. I think southerners are cute and their accents are charming.

Except when they have no teeth and gang rape me in the woods

86--Washington, DC is the most south i'm ever gonna go.

#89, Ooooh, and you have a dear friend there.... And by friend I mean a cunt.

Hey 88, I'm with you on the no teeth and gang rape thing but fortunately that only happens on "back roads"... hehe! Other than that the South is great. We welcome even the most pain in the ass bastards from the North and just smile, saying, "bless your heart".

Bless your heart jrzmommy.

Kiss my ass, BeautifulNightmare.

92 - Just in case you didn't catch on... "Bless your heart" is the same thing as "kiss my ass", just a nicer way of sayin' it.

93--No fucking shit, Sherlock. Jesus Christ. Are you fucking through now?

Do you kiss your children with that filthy mouth? Done.

Hey Beautiful, I'm from the South too, so I know you'll understand what I mean when I say "bitch get back in the kitchen and make me some dinner". Country music sucks, cuntry music is where it's at.

No but I sucked your hubby's cock with it on his last "business trip" you stupid bitch, now fuck off.

I'm not sure how to take that Osh... Not sure if you are trying to be funny or just an asshole. *pondering*

And did I ever say I listen to country music. Hell no I didn't. I would rather listen to a K-Fed Brit duo before I listen to country. My point WAS (if you were paying attention) that just because you are from the South, that does NOT make you a redneck, backwoods, no teeth having trailor trash idiot. Those kind of people are everywhere, not just in the South. Get some pride about yourself.

Why don't you come up with something original. That shit has been done 1000 times. Now you fuck off.

"that just because you are from the South, that does NOT make you a redneck, backwoods, no teeth having trailor trash idiot. " In your case, yes it does.

*turns on the hose* squirts the fighting ladies down**

You wish it was that easy jrzmommy. You wish that was me. And what? You are some gorgeous super model just because you are from Jersey? Right. Don't all of you have bad hair, dress funny and have bad/thick accents that most of the US can't understand?

Stop fighting with your keyboard, it does not make you cool.

Don't worry PrettyBaby. It's almost quitting time. I just hope I don't encounter an angry Jrzmommy on the turnpike on my way home!

Are you for fucking real?

#86 - Being from the right part of the country I can surely say I will never go any further south than the holland tunnel.

And the only reason northerners are moving down south is because it is cheaper living than up here. So it gets rid of the poor & filthy, thinning of the herd, so to say!

The "southern belle" types kill me.

You don't have to gift wrap and slap a bow on everything that comes out of your fucking mouth.

I believe this is how the Civil War began. I am becoming soooo smart.

Who the fuck does this goddammed, backwater, country douchebag, fucktoy, inbred, three-toed cousin fucking hick think she is talking to?

Since you asked, I was trying to be an asshole.
I invented the term "cuntry", among many other oft-used phrases and cool ideas.
You sound like 10 thousand other Southern Bitches that are always looking for a fight to break their nails in. Why don't you go practice being insincere somewhere?

Not sure that I agree wtih you there biatcho... I am in real estate and I must say, the Northerns moving here aren't buying the little 200,000 homes, they are buying more of along the lines of the 2 mil + so can't say I agree there. And most of them are moving their businesses down here as well. I guess we shall see how things turn out.

And 104... yes I am for real, do you hear how stupid that sounds? That is a misconception that Southerns have of people from NJ, just like people have misconceptions that all people from the south have no teeth and like country music. That is my whole point to this. Not everyone from the south follows that stereotype!

#102 You are so stupid. By that same measure I should say since you're from the South, shouldn't you be driving a pick up truck with a confederate flag in the back, deep frying your meals in your double-wide, dressing up like a civil war reenactor, and going to a cock fight? (That's roosters not dick to us Northern gals)

#110
You have a point.

And if you comb your hair right and wear a hat no one will notice.

106 - I don't play Southern Belle... I don't gift wrap shit. Just being a bit of a smartass to prove a point.

108 - Read my post at 110 and get the fuck over your self.

109 - What? I am looking for a fight over my keyboard? I may break a fucking nail typing to much but that is about it. Why don't you make your mama proud and practice being an asshole somewhere else.

Hey 111 why don't you read my point on 110.

This is really a nightmare

Sexybitch... thank you! I was just trying to make a point... nothing big.

#116
Read the rest of it. This isn't the Georgia Chamber of Commerce page.

Hey 114- Hadn't seen it when I was posting as my post was held up by the onslaught of your newest pals. You are too irritating to even bother with. Please go set yourself on fire or something.

Goodnight ladies... and "Bless your heart beautifulnightmare"

I saw him... he's in Australia. In Port Dougals thats where the above photos are taken. He Is Not Hot! He is a gentlemen though waving and smiling to all the people around.

Where's his infamous toothbrush?

#110, If you are in real estate, then you would see that 2 million doesn't get you much up here in NYC, Westchester, Long Island or CT. Down there it gets you a plantation equipped with slaves and debutante balls.

I said bawls!

Biatcho - you also said long! LOL

If you look real hard I also said taint, without the i and with an added e.

This is what you call "Evolution in Action"

Darwin would like to study this guy, for real.

He looks like one of those guys you NEVER want to dance next to in a club.

They fling their arms and hair around. Sweat ficks all over you face and in your mouth when you open it to speak to your friend causeing you to vomit on the dance floor. Then he falls back into you and your body gets covered in sweat off his arms and back and you end up with two black eyes from his erratic movements of his arms as he jumps around.

ewwwwwy makes me feel ill thinking about it

He sucks.

http://www.veryliberating.com

I'd still hit it

He needs a shower, and he looks like a poster child for skin cancer. Yuck.

He needs a shower, and he looks like a poster child for skin cancer. Yuck.

He needs a shower, and he looks like a poster child for skin cancer. Yuck.

What's that smell?

Can't a guy just have some fun being sweaty and rabid without being put under a microscope? sheesh.

I love him, he just knows how to live... that's L-I-V-I-N!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

#17

Not trying to be an asshole, but you don't commonly shower immediately after sex? Call me the paragon of hygiene, but I shower before and after sex.

Am I weird?

He looks like a sloppy mess

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

He really needs to learn how to loosen up and have a good time.

#135
Weird. Clean, but weird.

I don't know what happened here last night, but it was a dirty party.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY PARTY! MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY SMASHED! ME WET. ME DRUNK. ME GO BOOM.

dude, why is he always fucking sweaty.

I usually like his movie roles and I thought he would be a pretty cool guy then I saw an interview with him on the tonight show or something and it is now confirmed he is the biggest jock douchebag in hollywood... his motto for life is j.k. livin... just keep livin.

Even drunk as hell...He's still the finest white man in the WORLD. Q-T 3.14159265!