Nov 2 2006Lindsay Lohan pretends to be sober

First!

You called that one jrzmommy!

She pretends she doesn't do coke too......

And claims not do like Pot........

And fucks like a rabbit.......

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

seriously, have your OD already so everyone can pontificate on how your worthless life was wasted.

bitch

I think Hohan has the concept backwards....she thinks you wear a chip for how long your latest bender has been.

2--I know. I'm being gracious.

About a year ago it could have been a tag showing how long it's been since she ate something.

I've been sober 17 days now. I'm trying to lose weight so I can get you babes a new picture to oogle. One with washboard abs.

No, you guys don't understand...that chip stands for 90 straight days of doing coke in a bathroom stall with jizz running down your leg and waking up in a hotel room with a bloody nose and a rash.

Just wanted to clear that up.

They are all drunk ,they don"t need to pretend...

http://exposed-celebs.blogspot.com/

hahahaha
beat up a sober guy

hahaha
this post is fucking great

I hope every person who is really trying to get sober finds her and throws rocks at her....big ones....with jagged edges.

If she really *is* sober, then she's violating that whole Alcoholics ANONYMOUS thing by hanging it off her tank top.

Please. She's as sober as DuffMan.

If Al-Queda wanted to gain some sympathy before the midterm election for their collaborators they should drop, maybe....I don't know, seven ? jumbo jets on the vicinity of this person.

It's up to YOU Osama, make this happen!!

I'm not kidding

Way to desecrate AA's 12 Traditions

"...we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films."

Asswipe.

While I think Lindsay really needs to work on being a grown up, I am glad to see that she is working toward starting. Maybe the embarrasing public letter started this (about not working on the set). I think that was about 3 months ago.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

@8.. BigJimmy, take your time, I'll wait... forever for you.

Lindsay is obviously not sober. Just look at the way she's dressed.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Folks, my apologies for disappointing you, but that's the tag from her plastic surgeon telling how long it'll take for the implants to heal. It's an old shirt... easy mistake.

I'd love to Peter North all over those luscious love melons.

What's with the dude in the third pic? He certainly has a large package.

I'm thinking this chip was Photoshopped. That chip looks bigger than life in the last picture.

I'm depressed.

It seems like the only people I can turn on these days are flaming homos (no offense intended).

I need a drink.

The only twelve steps this bitch takes are from the limo to the bar.

Who's her sponsor? Pete Doherty?

#25 - BWAH HA HA!

@23 ...I'll fuck ya.

But I fuck anything. As long as you're ok with that...

Lindsay Lohan had Five Guy's for lunch, and I'm not talking about the Burger place.......

Does AA make a 12 hour chip?

Here's hoping the Ninety Days chip represents how much longer this ugly, freckled, no-talent cunt has left in the spotlight.

Only replace "Days" with "Seconds" please.

Cuz that's all I'd qualify for. Not that I have a problem or anything...

29. For you or her? Cuz she's mainlining the booze into her arm to save time that could be used to put "other" things in her mouth/ass/or that wad of chewing gum looking vajay-jay.

@27:

Sold!

Krisdy baby, it would be the prettiest chip ever handed out in the history of chipdom.

Krisdylee you answered my question! Thinking you have a problem is the only problem. Drink up!

Nevermind this thing calling herself 'actress' (really an insult to all real actresses out there like Glen Close or Charlize Theron by the way!) - What's up with the story that apparently Ryan Phillippe cheated on Reese with an Australian chick called Abbie Cornish???

@36:

Yup, he cheated, and then his wife just fell all to Reese's pieces.

36. It wouldn't surprise me. He's said things about her not giving it up as much since Ava was born. Then he went and waited till she was up for it and knocked her up again. If you're going to bitch about it 1st time round- maybe be a bit more careful?? He still hot though.

... Is everyone a supposed expert?

In the words of the wise Frank Sinatra...

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

Being sober is TOTALLY overrated.

LL: "Hi, do you have any long, hideous sweaters?"

Clerk: "Well, we have this ugly one one, it comes in Cat-Puke Yellow."

LL: "Fuckin-A, I like it."

Clerk: "Sweet, it comes with a fake AA chip too."

LL: "Mmmm, Irony. Hey, you wanna do some coke?"

The only problem I have with alcohol is when it runs out.

#39

Careful now...remember that anonymity thing.

#38 - oh yeah, hot like lava *grin* ... never got why he went for Reese in the first place. But then maybe he is one of the 'I go for personality' types? Riiiiiiiiight.

Making fun of alcoholics is fun!

http://www.celebslam.com

I stopped drinking for 90 seconds once. And when I was done vomiting profusely I got right back on the wagon. Or off the wagon. Whichever one is the better one that requires a heavy thirst.

Let's tell LL that drinking methylated spirits kicks more ass than alcohol - she would believe it, too - pea brain that she is.

@21 Ruby, good call.
Shirt undone, freakish grin, sporting wood, as LL walks off. Gotta be Lohan's coke dealer/AA sponsor.

I'm pretending to be sober right now.

C'mon now Lindsey, nobody likes a quitter.

Ah!! #50, I was just about to tell you all about my nifty Tshirt that says Soberiety is for Quitters.

51. Want to hear something sadder than quitting? My best friend is in SLAA. She quit the whoring! Why??

52--I'm trying here....what's SLAA?

Off topic, does anyone else think the timing of Madonna's adoption controversy and the release of her new book is a little too much of a coinkydink?

Jrz...I'm sure you wear it proudly.

I golf with a friend who wears a Betty Ford Clinic baseball cap on the course. Last time around he projectile vomited a twelve pack on the 17th hole tee box.

I believe we will be invited to join that club.

#27 Anastasia_Beaverhausen - What's Cock-Ninja goona say when he finds out you're straying?

@55 I'm sure he won't mind sharing with Big Jim...besides, Ninj sometimes sees Guy-Pierre on the side.

#53: yup, very nice coincidence... although really: does she need any MORE publicity???

Speaking of Madonna....from The Scoop:
Madonna is having little David’s room decorated in a safari theme, a source claims — and she’s spent $30,000 at PetitTresor.com for high-end kiddie furnishings.

I guess so he doesn't feel too homesick. Maybe she can pay an artist to do a mural of an orphanage on one wall??

Big Jim.....Well I'm not a guy and not a lesbian, not that there is anything wrong with that. But if you are true to your picture I wouldn't mind taking a spin:)

#58 - nooooooooooooooooooo how pathetic IS she??? safari theme? aaaaahhhhhhhhahahahahaha!!

@57- From the looks of it, so does BigJim?

No offense BigJim, I call 'em like I see 'em.

we get the impression
that it's more of a request
than a statement

lets all sing together...

you should be so lucky
lucky
lucky
lucky

you should be so lucky in love... etc

Brain Hemorrhage:

You weren't around when all the hotties were begging me to drop the towel.

I didn't, though, because unlike LL and Paris, I'm not fond of my genitals being posted all over the Internet.

Maybe if my cock was a bit bigger I'd think differently.

Sometimes it really sucks being white.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

There are Google sponsored ads all over this site that promote rehabs and other for-profit substance abuse treatment within in an hour of the LL related post.

I wonder if the Fish will stop at his favorite bar for a magnum of Cristal before resuming his balls out run to the bank?

lmfao @58 jrz, that's just sooooo wrong!

Hey I can buy one of those too.

http://www.network12.com/medallions/aamedallions.htm

The chip also doubles as a bottle/can opener, line cutter, line plate, weed grinder, and smack spoon. This bitch is so stupid, she thinks she is smarter than the rest of us.

Proudly Unsober for 17 years!

The Fish is a whore's whore.

#53 - Good call, I don't think anything that publicity-driven hog does is coincidence.
What's really disgusting is her passing out copies of her previous book, "The English Roses" to kids at the orphanage. Christ, you'd think that cheap bitch would just buy 'em some Charmin. Now they'll have to wrestle with tearing up the bindings and everything.
Work work work.
Life's not easy if you're an orphan.

@61-- Brain, you're off on this one, hon.

I still want him to drop the towel, myself.

#41 Irony? It's LL we are talking about here, irony is something she pays the help to do to her linen pants. You know, the ones with the stains?

#52, just a guess but SLAA = Sex Loving Actors Annonoumous(sp)?

JRZMommy- SLAA is Sex & Love AA... She liked the sex a bit. How is that bad? Yeah her husbad was pissed when she had a 3-way with two guys in a pool and came home with her back scraped up... only because he wasn't one of the 2 guys in the pool.

# 63 - BigJim, I hear ya brother!
Can I get an Amen on how much it sucks to be white?

@69 - Control yourself Apache. We wouldn't want the Texas militia after you?

Hey, nice post number!!!

@73

Yeah, I just noticed the post number. Maybe it's an omen of things to come.

63&72: You don't give white men enough credit. There are dissappointments out there but unless 9" is small & not being able to sit down the next day without feeling the night before, I've got no complaints about my choice of white dick or the man attached to it!!!

Talk about being a "dead-fuck".......

(York-AP) November 2, 2006 - A 23-year-old Clover man has been sentenced to 20 years in prison after police say he tried to dig up the grave of a 12-year-old girl after seeing her picture in an obituary.

Clover Police Lieutenant Randall Horn says Bryan Nicholas Garcia never found the girl's grave. Horn says Garcia told investigators he wanted to take the body home and have fun.

Garcia pleaded guilty but mentally ill Wednesday to two charges of destruction of a graveyard. Circuit Judge John Hayes ordered Garcia to register as a sex offender.

Defense attorney John Rhea says two mental evaluations found Garcia has a chemical imbalance in his brain that makes him want to have sex with corpses and children.

Rhea says Garcia hasn't decided whether to appeal.

Garcia was arrested in May 2005.

Shit, I've been on a bender for so fucking long I haven't even had the chance to sign in and make fun of people.
If this bitch is sober ninety days, I don't have a bottle in my hand right now...
How ya'll been?

The Fish had better be searching long and hard for some "new" post. If he's taking this long to find one and comes up with the same shit that's been re-hashed all over the blogging world already today... I may have to fuck danYELL out of spite and anger.

And we all know how painful that can be!

75 NotANiceGirl - Then I have nothing to worry about!

(He says as he's slowly stroking his 9½ inch cock)

BigJimmer: white AND Canadian! That makes yer trouser snake shrivel that much quicker as the weather gets colder.

But we still love ya.

Isn't she only 20? Way to go Lindsay! You've made it into AA before you're legally allowed to drink. Your future is looking bright.

Seriously, though. That's bad.

76 - Stallion, who here hasn't tried THAT?

Let's see a show of hands.

An Angry Ferret hat trick ?????????

90 days since her last abortion, perhaps?
90 days since her last STD?
90 days since her sex-change operation?
90 days without washing her freckle-speckled trainwreck of a vag?

Stallion: What the FUCK is going on up in Lancaster County? Jesus. If you have a daughter that you want to keep safe and you live in Lancaster County, PA--GET THE FUCK OUT!

BigJim - I am saying drop the towel and prove the myth WRONG!

Or just drop the towel cuz you are tight, white and dynomite :)

This is #9 for me. That's enough for this thread!

Why in every photo of Lindsay there is a different ugly guy in the background?

79: See? Told ya. I swear it keeps me from straying...wait you said 9 1/2? Well what are you doing later?

Talk about your basic slut!!

http://my8-xuo-qb75kfqnwnc.usercash.com/

89- Hey!! I hope you're talking about the photo!

#88 - I'll meet you under the bleachers for a '69'... sorry Apache.

rofl @ number 2. Was going to say the same thing. Jesus tap dancing christ, if she really did stay sober for 90 days then we should applaud her! o.O This may be why she's getting...bigger. NOT FAT..but bigger o.O O.o

ps: why the fuck do we need an upclose of her ugly freckle boob? -.- you're paying for my laser eye surgery.

91. Oh Apache I'm sorry!

er..not number 2..number 3..could give a shits less for number 2's response >.> no offence

#70 Brain - a 9 inch nail... delicious!!!!

I meant #79

#95 biatcho, that's a 9½ inch nail! That extra ½ inch is needed for tonsil tickling.

It's pretty obvious that she had to wear her "90 Days Sober" chip because she misplaced her "I'm a Fuckup" chip.

aahh the old tonsil tickler, the OLD barking seal... delightful.

"Ninety Days" refers to when she was diagnosed with herpes.

Lindsay Lohan loves her herpes.

It's like a pet.

She's named it "Fluffy."

http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php

They sell those chips at Kitson.

Okay I love her to death, but why is she such an attention whore? (and a liar!)

It's a dog collar

Actually it's an AA tradition to give the chip to someone who's been there for you and supported you in your struggle to sobriety.

So the real mystery here is that Lindsay Lohan is THAT good a friend to someone in the program?

Alcoholics ANONYMOUS

And yea... that guy's penis... yea.

#104

The answer? Robin Williams.

...

.........
....

...rip robn.

http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php

maybe she's making fun of the AA thing. sort of how i ink a straightedge "X" onto my hand as i go on a drinking binge.

Come vote for this story on www.ladyvine.com!

yeah, well she also pretends to be an actor