Nov 9 2006Kevin Federline wants money and the kids

First!

First?

Earl...

And a beer. Don't forget the beer.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

While he is at it he might as well ask for her career too.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

It wasn't Britney sucking that cock.

http://www.fleshbot.com/sex/celebrity/nope-its-not-her-213434.php

sean preston is thinking "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

#5
The Fed-Ex stank don't rub off easy. Never gonna be what it was.

#4 don't forget the smokes, he also wants an unopened carton of Newport 100's.

"Potect?" "Safeguard the children?" In that case, Federwhine better start on some schematics for the flux capacitor, go back in time, and put on a goddamn condomn to prevent these poor children from being conceived by the travesty that is their birthparents.

I can't wait to see him in court... the justice system will seem like such an oddity to Earl. I bet, juuuuust like Justin Timberlake when he got punk'd, he'll speak absolutely proper English, like the true white boy that he is, in court. Then he'll get outside and explain to everyone how wiggety wack Briggety Brit is. Then he'll take a shit on the top step of the court house.

If the situation was reversed britney would get spousal support.I suppose thats why he's seeking full custody,he's trying to play the role the female usually does.I doubt it will work but i still see a nice piece of cash coming his way.

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

God, this guy is missing a chromosome or something.

The "Federline's attorney" needs a spokesman?

"Yo yo yo, check this shit out 'n shit...my ho Brit ain't gonna be raizin none of my little niggaz 'n shit cuz she unfit....yo, homes, I juss made my new rap, yo check that shit out. Did you write that down? What I say? Yo yo..check out Brit....aw man, you didn't write that shit down? Damn."

On behalf of all raccoons, I must take offense in the statement that they would only be "slightly" more qualified over Brit and Fed-Ex to take care of children.

PS: I hope he gets eaten by a pack of badgers.

So this is the best Jacoby and Myers can do for Earl? I think I'm gonna e-mail his attorney and ask him what the fuck he's thinking....

mkaplan@kaplansimonlaw.com

If Earl wins big, any and all requests for future representation can be made here:

Kaplan & Simon
2049 Century Park E #2660
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Feel free to knock three times on the back door and leave the money in the dumpster.

You really can't blame him for being so desperate, it's gonna be a bitch living out of that Ferrari.

Huh. Doesn't he have at least one or two *other* kids kicking around the country somewhere?

Where are Ktard's custody demands for those kids?

K-Fuck just wants to make sure they're raised black.

@11 - Richport, good call. That was the best Punk'd ever, with Timberfake practically reduced to tears and no sign of his ghettoese slang to be found. You ever hear Eminem in court on that weapons violation involving his wife? Howard Stern (the one not claiming to fuck Anna Nicole) used to play the audio. Mr. 8 Mile sounds like every suburbanite I went to high school with. As for King Wigger himself, K-Fag, I love how his attorney makes seeking money and support from a woman noble. That K-Fag is "willing to go the distance" "to protect and safeguard his children". Riiiight. Good to see Earl living up to all our expectations - can gay porn be too far behind once the gutter beckons?

Speaking of Earl... There's all new My Name Is Earl on tonight @ 8e/7c on most of your CBS stations

"Mailbox
A bored Catalina offers to help Earl with number 75 on his list, cleaning out a mailbox he once used as a trash can."

My jobless ex counter sued for custody and attorney fees and I didn't make Britney cash. The judge looked him up and down and said, "guess you better get a job or two; OVERRULED".

I predict a similar outcome in Mr. Spear's future. She's got plenty of cash to bankroll a lengthy legal action; he doesn't. He'll roll over and play dead about fifty thousand in.

I wonder when Sean will commit his first of many serial killings?

This is gonna do wonders for his ...ahem..."thug" "cred"

Yeah he's rolling, it's the Wu , Cube and ....Earl "spousal support" Federline

yo

Wow. So not even funny. God I hope that was a very well drafted pre nup. Good luck, Britney.

It'll be great on the weekends that Kevin has all the kids and his two kids from Brittany Spears call his two kids from Shar Jackson niggers and try and tie them to the bumper of his 1976 Ford pick-up and drive them down the bumpy trailer park road.

How are you going to ask for HER money and then want the kids, too? Dude, make your OWN money and then ask for CHILD SUPPORT. Don't expect her to support you while you try and take her kids.

What a fucking asshole. I'd expect him to ask for custody (like any typical man knowing he's a fuckup in a divorce) or even JOINT custody if he had his own job, but that just takes the cake.

@29 - Been there, done that!

I hate to say this but, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, Sun Tzu?

TEAM SPEARS!

What the fuck is this nitwit going to do with two babies? Does he know he actually has to feed babies and make sure they're breathing and stuff? Ha! She should blow his fucking mind and say, Sure, here ya go. She'll have them back in a week.

I can't believe that he has the nerve to ask for custody, the kids probably don't even know who he is he spends
She probably woke up and realized that if she ever wants to make a comeback than she needs to drop the dead weight, it must be hard being the butt of everybody's jokes. I love the video of him getting the text message...lol, he spends most of his time with his boyz, you would think on some level he knew this was coming...or maybe i'm giving him too much credit.

look earl may be willing to go the distance but considering the distance is around the block, he shouldn't brag about that. brit has wayyyyyy more money to legally fight him all year long.

he doesn't care about his kids. how many photos have we seen of earl BY HIMSELF with sean p? and what happened to his oreo babies? he stopped being photogaphed with them when the white/meal ticket baby showed up. for all we know they could've have already been sold on ebay for a phatfarm tracksuit and a case of blunts.

considering he's going to be living in the crack in the pavement next door to the poor house, he's not getting custody of nothing other than his funky drawers.

He?s wanting spouse support
Them smarty lawyers said that?s his retort
?Ticket sales are low? ?the news report
His mom should have said ?ABORT ABORT?

Stoopid Earl
No condom here, knock up another girl
He?s a wigger, make you want to hurl
I think it's great to watch his life unfurl

Go ?head Brit (divorce this trash)
Make another hit (divorce this trash)
No more kids (divorce this trash)
He?s on the skids (divorce this trash)
Get yo body back (divorce this trash)
Fix that rack (divorce this trash)
No more cash for Fed (divorce this trash)
He?s in the red (divorce this trash)
And get your dee-vorce on
Get your dee-vorce on?

Why doesn't he ask for custody of the two kids he had with Shar Jackson? The answer is simple. Shar Jackson has no money. Then of course, he never married Shar, so it would be harder to get his two with her. Not that I expect him to get custody of these two either. His party animal rep, won't go over real big with the court. Kev is getting desperate, he sees his lifestyle flashing before his eyes. Britneys stupid. What did she think she'd be getting with Kev anyway. A guy who would leave his pregnant live in with another kid to raise
for you, isn't a good bet.

32--indeed.

@36 - You can "LickyLicky" my asshole anytime!

The only thing in his future is a role on the Surreal Life.

K-fed will soon be shopping at K-mart

The only valid argument he has for custody is because NO ONE will be following him in future, he'll have plenty of time to strap both kids in their car seats at Starbucks.

hey K-fed the Los Angeles Mission called they said they have a bed waiting for you.

I can just imagine him being a stay at home dad, on a tight budget and unable to get a sitter for when he wants to go out.

When was the last time he seen the kids he had with Shar? I would really love to know.

And...whatever happened to being a man and supporting you family let alone yourself.

Why do I keep seeing that episode of Seinfeld, where Kramer burned his lap with coffee and sued? The lawyers are talking to Kramer and say something like "Mr. Kramer, we're prepared to offer you a lifetime supply of coffee in addit..." and Kramer jumps up screaming "I'LL TAKE IT!!!". It'll be just like that, but instead of coffee it'll be Pabst Blue Ribbon, and instead of lifetime, it'll be a week.

To completely fuck with him, she should give him the brakes and Federrai brake shoes... and keep the fucking car.

maybe he can pawn that $300K watch of his and start clipping coupons and they don't NEED cable.....he can make it on his own.

He has a better chance of winning Miss Teen USA than getting custody of those kids.

I think Earl is as thugged out as Kenny G. At least Kenny G has a jerri curl. I really want to fight him in front of a bunch of people, and then kill him with a crossbow.

#49 I resent that remark.

It just occurred to me; since Madonna's out adopting orphans, she could adopt this one. She'll never see him anyway, other than the yearly photo op she subjects the others to.

He's not black, but the other one wasn't really an orphan.

there's alot of people thinking k-fed is gonna go broke but truth be told he'll have at least a couple of really good oppurtunities to make decent cash simply because of who he was married to.A tell all book exposing britneys secrets,explicit photos,a sex tape.playing dirty after a high profile marriage/ relationship crumbles can be lucrative.

http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

Dear God, this guy is about as appealing as period blood.

Earl and babies don't mix it's like adding mentos to pepsi.

#52
It'll end up remaindered right next to OJ's book.

Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes died. Boo hiss. That sucks. I liked him.

#56
And yet Fed-Ex still lives.
There is no God.

The judge is going to take one look at these two and start laughing, really hard.

Condoleeza Rica has named Michele Kwan as Goodwill Ambassador. This means she's the Ambassador of Kwan!!!

Rica? NO! Rice. Condoleeza Rica is the lady that runs the Pupuseria truck down the street.

I bet there are a lot of dumb bimbos out there waiting to hook up with him. Kids will just cramp his style.

It's always a goodwill gesture to send young women in tight mesh to spread the love of America to other countries.

I say let 'em have the kids

http://www.celebslam.com

Rest In Peace Ed...

Rest In Peace Condoleeza Rica...

Maybe I'm wrong. It didn't stop Britney.

hee hee!! Condoleeza Rica is a tiny island off the coast of Texas.

Rest In Peace Texas...

(yawn) Enough with the corny jokes. I swear, its like you people get dumber by the second.

K-Fed, or whatever the fuck this impersonator calls himself these days, is just another idiot on the long list of thieves that are born into this world every single day.

Yo, Yo, Yo? What the hell is that? All I have to say is take all your undignified asses need to go somewhere else with that shit.

Eminem, Bubba Sparxx, Vanilla Ice, K-Fuck, Paul Wall and whoever the hell else: Are just Mockers of a stereotype that needs to be abolished for good.

And you can go ahead and write down some lame responses as to what you THINK you know about a certain group, but then again it would only exemplify how much of a fucktard and thief you really are....and would only prove my point. So continue. Please. Do it.

The End.

+++>(i fed the trolls, what can i say? they needed a good meal.)

............
............
............
did i conjure her up?

Why is it that male Caucasian babies tend to look like old men? Tater Tot looks like Carroll O'Connor to me.

So I had this dream last night. . . I was sexually assaulted by a lizard. Not the Geico lizard; an evil, toothy, enormous lizard.

Do I spend the one fifty to see a therapist or do I go the cheap route and have a couple of Martinis for lunch?

fucking brain. hee hee.

Ladies, please pick up your discarded feminine products when you're done with them. They can really fuck up a good 69. Many thanks.

Oh, and if you can lift your shirts too, that would be helpful.

#24, My Name is Earl is on NBC not CBS

I'll analyze that one for ya, Commish...I'm a doctor today!

You have been looking at too many pictures of Kirstie Alley--who looks like a lizard-- and you are working out your issues that you have after suffering visual rape by watching her in her fatkini the other day subconsciously. It's okay. go have a the hydraulic lunch.

How'd you like to be the next guy trying to tap ms. Brit and have to deal w/K-fuk showing up for visitation? If it wasn't for the ex and a faulty life support system she'd be a perfectly good piece of ass.

jrz- Thanks. For a minute, I thought it could have been buyer's remorse. I did buy a sweet pair of Lauren lizard pumps the other day.

Pheeeeewwww.

Funny he's not trying to get custody of Shar's kids. His intentions are obvious. He's sad.

Tumble weeds roll by.

commish: was the lizard tan with a lot of very silver, perfectly styled hair? If so, then it WAS Ralph Lauren.

#79 not that i think earl is smart enough to raise a crane much less a baby, i have to say....shar isn't all over the tabloids for dropping her babies, riding them around in her lap, and having child protective servies called. so his lawyers have obviously decided he may have a claim for custody.

yet i don't think they allow babies in clubs like pure so something tells me he'll be leaving them in the coat check.

jrz- *slaps head*

God, thanks. I can handle fucking Ralph. But if I have a dream about a sexual encounter with a couple of parakeets, please don't let it be Dolce and Gabbana.

#79 not that i think earl is smart enough to raise a crane much less a baby, i have to say....shar isn't all over the tabloids for dropping her babies, riding them around in her lap, and having child protective servies called. so his lawyers have obviously decided he may have a claim for custody.

yet i don't think they allow babies in clubs so something tells me he'll be leaving them in the coat check.

The Loser getting the kids? Well, he could get them, then try exhibit them and make fast cash, then nobody will want to see the kids so he will decide to just give them away. For free.

Judge: So, Mr. Federline, why do you believe you deserve sole custody of your two children with Ms. Spears?

Douchebag: Yo yo yo, juss call me KFed, y'all. I'm from the hood, ya heard? I spit rhymes like my kidz spit breast milk, yo. I'm ill wit it. Fuck all deez haterz with their hateration drinkin' their haterade on the hater tip, yo. I'm da baddest lyricist on da planet, yo.

Judge: ::silence::

k fed may be douche...but what he is doing is NO different than what bitches have been doing to men in the great state of california for years. i'm kinda rooting for him to prove a point. bitches.

#87
Bitter, party of one....
Hold that thought until Ryan Phillipe gets his cut from Reese. No prenup!

Taking into account the caliber of lawyers Britney Spears can afford and the stupidity of "the artist" formerly known as Earl Spears, there's a strong likelihood he waived just about every single right he had in the prenuptial agreement.

On the other hand, Federline doesn't seem to have a problem working his way into the lives of rich women, so he'll probably find another to latch on to.

#87: I don't condone any losers begging for money and custody of their kids when they're obviously not capable of taking care of them.

But he's the ultimate douchebag. Period.

@75 suzy - It's on TV !!!

I think K-Fuck just invented the next reality show--Dancing With Pimps

If Kevin Federline is a man mourning the demise of his marriage, he didn't show it onstage at Chicago's House of Blues Wednesday night. Playing the role of a rap Casanova, Federline, who is seeking sole custody of his kids with Britney Spears, leaned into the crowd to touch the hands of women who were reaching toward him. Several songs into the set, he referenced his breakup with Spears. "Hey, I see a lot of fine ladies in here," said the rapper. "You know I'm a free man, right, ladies? You wanna dance with a pimp?"

The only time I want to see Earl dance is when I'm shooting at his feet.

Translation: Can't get the bitch to finance my make believe career anymore so I'm going to hold the kids hostage and make her pay up.

Here's hoping her lawyers rape him so badly he ends up having to prove the brats are even his.

*Head Aches* No more K-Fag Please!! We can be certain that he will-

1. Try to get the rich ex's kids
2. Do some wiggety wack interviews.looking for symapathy.
3. Fuck Paris
4. Be on the Superfish at least once a day with pics of him getting drunk on Hennessy at Pure.
5. Fuck danielle

All that Will happen and now it is I not jrzmommy that is the resident psychic.

#70 Funny lady!

95--haHA! Your #5 is great.

#95
Please tell me you see him being run over by Lindsay Lohan in the not too distant...

shh....I'm getting a vision......it's getting clearer.....it's......it's...Paris Hilton's tongue in K-Fuck's mouth.....I'm...vomitting.....I cannot stop

#99
So does this mean that you and PrettyBaby have crystal balls?

RichPort has crystal balls, PrettyBaby and i just have brass ones!

Can you picture Fed-Ex's laywer making this point:

It was Brit who drove with SPF the wrong way in the babyseat , it was Brit who nearly dropped SPF in NY with a drink in her hand - - -NOT KEVIN.

Maybe because his portion of the parenting apparently lasts only until conception..... but whatever.

I hate lawyers, FedEx and Britney

just take the pre-nup and don't piss her off any more, Blonkey Boy.

Jrz - My balls are actually CZs... but I keep 'em clean...

#104
Oh, look, something sparkly! Shit, I must be blonde...

#95 Can you comment on your own posting?! Anyway, I am sure I will be made to pay for #5. Shortly you will be seeing a post from me that says "Fuck the cunts on the Superficial!! I suck K-Fed's cock every night and taste his yummy cum!! Richport, BigJim, The Brain,the Stallion and gatorbates have small cocks and mini balls! My mother is a crack whore and my dad screws me every night"

And so on.....

#98 & #99 Monday Morning's Posts!

#105
You mean Jessica Simpson will be posting?

I mean #106. Duh.

#105 - Everything will have to be lower case, the punctuation will. have, to be ra!ndom, and I'll have to be able to smell you from here for that to come true...

#110
Oh, than!kGod i thort i waS after #108i'm so releeved...*sniffsniff* what's burning?

sexybitch- I demand to know the true color of your hair.......

You hot wench

#112
Strawberry blonde, you equally sexy hottie. The red just enables me to write good. I mean well. Damn! Fuckin' highlights!

I can just see it now if K-Fuck gets those babies. He will probably put some do rags on 'em and gold chains around their neck with little baby FUBU outfits on, and make them become back up dancers at his "concerts" as he calls them. He'll also change their names to Ke-shaun and Darne'le Federline.

Gay-fed... i hope you read this. YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE FOR MAN-KIND AND THE MAN-HOOD. You are asking for spousal support??? what a fucken loser. Be a fucken MAN!!! For all you that feel sorry for his ass should not after this unmanly request! K-fed you should be so fucken embarrased! You claim to be hard... you claim to be hip hop... you claim to be a baller... wake up bitch! a true man works for his. you got a free ride for a while... move on loser!!! you have no BALLS!!!

when asking for full custody it helps to be able to show the judge at least ONE of two things.

1. That during the marraige you were the primary caretaker of the children.....well thats not going to work for Kevin.

2. If you weren't the primary caretaker that you can support the children......Ouch, strike two Kevin.

If her lawyers are smart they will of course call in Shar Jackson to testify about the amount of time he spends with her children.

Let all hope that's lemonade and not vodka =). I think we should auction off the kids on ebay..everything else is on there.

I'm tired of this bullshit site. I feel like I'm chatting with little bastards with shit still in their diapers. If any of you had the least amount of brain cells needed to function as a human, I'd be entertained. But I'm not.

I bet not one idiot on this blog graduated from preschool. What a bunch of pathetic fucktards you are.

I pitty every single one of your asses.

sexybitch is on her period?

Who is paying for Fed-Ex's divorce lawyer?

Is Britney actually paying for someone else to fight to have her own kids taken away from her? *lol*

Sigh.

I'm still Team Britney, though.

god that baby is one of the mostugliest babies ive seen. and thats pretty bad since i find every baby ugly.

Kick his ass Britney!!!

#119
Now, now, people, who do we know that spells "pitty" with two T's? May I refer you to post #69?
#106 PrettyBaby, you ARE psychic! You just predicted the wrong target, is all. Other than that, you're spooky. Yow.

I need a dictionary. Whoops! I spelled pity with TWO T's! What a dipshit I must be! I really think I should lay off that Hennesey for a bit.

Nevermind 69, I really MUST be on my period. Let me check the soggy pad I wear everyday, this may take a minute....or two.

Damn, where is everyone? Am I talking to myself? You fucktards!!!!! Get back here!!!!

I'm lonely. I'm a sexybitch.

This isn't me!

Okay it is!

Damn, I'm bored.

NOOOOOOOOOOO K-Fag will just trade the kids for a 40 and a bag of weed!

Fuck you LaLa! K-Fed is a sexy stud. I want to marry that wannabe rapper and have his babies!

They'd be damn ugly, but atleast they'll be mine. Maybe I could sell them to the tabloids. Make some fast cash and get out of this here trailerpark. Yee Haw!

Someone probably said it, but it looks like Sean Preston takes after Brit. Fat ass.

The real legal fight is not about the kids or Brit's money. Brit's attorneys are paid millions to make sure K-Fed is granted sole custody of Popozao's rights!

After all, that's the baby he's the most proud of...

#130 He disowned that one, too!
“At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did. That way, when I come out with my real s**t, people are f**king blown away.”

Now that's strategy.

This guy is the Alistair Cooke of Short-Attention-Span Theatre. He obviously lost interest in the marriage and the kids, and if it were left up to him the Fedderari would go unwashed for weeks.

I hope no one feels sorry for this asshole (meaning Britney) Who the fuck told her to marry him in the first place?? And what he's doing is a typical ploy to get some extra $$, though he'll probably get paid to do a bunch of tell all interviews about her.

LOL . . . good luck to him.

sean is one scary motherSHUTYOMOUTH!

well, i guess he can try, but i'm not sure that they'll think of a trailer park as a healthy environment for kids