Kevein Federline writes mean stuff on doors

"fuck a wife"? is that supposed to mean something?

Kevin, buddy, easy up on the sauce.

2 - Note to self: Witty rejoinders are much funnier if one uses the correct words.

-easy, +ease

Isn't that cute? He's practicing his writing.

Literacy is at last within his grasp.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

It looks like "ladles look out." Perhaps Bioplant is right; he's on the sauce. I have a spatula that I could whack him upside the head with.

Jackass makes his "S" look like a 3; wheer did he goe to skewl?

Did he write that left-handed, with both eyes closed, while looking in a mirror? And why would ladles care he's free?

And, again, where is this fucktard's plea for his first two kids? He could not dump those on Shar Jackson fast enough. He needs to be neutered.

And yes, I know it's hard to look into a mirror with both eyes closed. But that's what his scribbles look like.

Hookt on fonix wurked fur him!

Get him for destruction of property and have the baliff whack his pee-pee!

Wiggers are pathetic..

ohhhhhh so this is whay a spiral downwards looks like. hmmm

well he wont have far to go since he never got that high to begin with.

If there is a god, Tool-Fed will kill himself within the week.

@The SuperFish - Only one "E" in Kevin.

Well it looks like 'Sharpie' (tm) has its new pitchman

fifteenth!

oh oh, and ummmmm who did he think would see this? like the maid?? only thing that woula been better is a phone #

Why would anyone give this dumbass kids when he obviously is one himself. This bug needs to be squashed with a quickness.

Now all of a sudden he wants his kids. He sounds like the typical deadbeat dad that will fight for custody of the kids just so he doesn't have to pay for child support. Not that he would have to pay in this case but just to be an asshole because he can. The next thing will be that he will want a paternity test done.

That divorce isn't going to be messy.

Why would he be drinking grape juice? If he were a true blonkie he would be drinking grape DRINK, not juice. Everyone knows that........

Boy, if that doesn't get him custody, NOTHIN' will!!

He showers?

And he would turn the grape drink into Hypnotiq, not wine...

He should hook up with Heather Mills

His 15 minutes of fame were up when he first opened his mouth. Why is this dirtbag in the news again?

He doesn't know English. This has to be a joke

http://www.celebslam.com

Kevin, I hear Naomi is hiring...

His handwriting is quite sexy...if I do say so myself.

Yea, real convincing considering it was just him and his non-Evian in the dressing room. And what the fuck does "Ladles look out" mean? Is he about to scoop up some acid? What the fucking fuck???

#10 - Nice Cheech and Chong reference... that has to be from like 30 years ago...

"I plead insanity"
"Insanity?"
"I was just crazy about that girl..."

He wants the kids so that he can get support from brit...obviously she doesn't need his money to raise the boys.
I also read somewhere. Shar doesn't have brit's money, so of course he doesn't want custody of the first two. He wouldn't get enough support from her to support his partying lifestyle.
he knows the only way he's going to get anything out of her is to get the boys, everything i've read/heard about the prenup suggests that he's only going to get about 300,000 and he has to return his fancy car....i'm sure he was advised by his lawyer that if he got the kids he could get a bucket load of money in support from her, as i'm sure he's been advised that there is no way around the prenup he signed....without money from brit he's back in the poor house...which is what the taletless loser deserves.

I posted twice in the same fucking minute? I really am talented.

PEOPLE!! You have it all wrong!! Look at what he wrote:
"Today I'm a free man. LADLES look out"

What this means is that now he is free to start volunteering his time at the local soup kitchens helping the homeless. That's how wonderful of a man he really is.

BTW - NOT!!!
P.S. Did he sign his name "Kevin" or "Kim"?

I thought this guy was a rap god. this shit doesn't even rhyme.

It is fire though.

It says, "Ladle 3 look out"

@32 - -I'd say talentedly retarded Rich! :)

"Fuck"? "Bitch"? Is this the same sweet man who used Pooh checks in his financial transactions, even if he did bounce a few due to a lack of math skills? Obviously Britney's been a terrible influence on this much maligned man.

I love Kevin. I bought all 6,500 copies of his CD. It's actually...pretty good. Does anyone need a copy? I'm selling them for 1/2 the price. I'll include a 24oz. Pepsi with your order. Anyone?

He's going to need a good job so he can pay for the therapy Shar's kids are going to need when they learn that their dad wanted his other children, but not them! Oh the drama!

did he request the Sharpie on his list of things he wanted in his dressing room? If my kids say, Mommy, can we have the makers? I always make sure I give them the washable ones just in case someone is tempted to write on the walls.

Now, imagine if he does get custody of those boys? That entire house will be covered in scribbles.

@41 covered in scribbles? You do know these are Federlines children, right? They won't figure out how to get the cap off the sharpie until the age of eighteen, and that's if they're lucky...........

This is the real writing:

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m105/PapaHotNuts/k-fed-door2.jpg

Let's not be mean to kindergarten kids here.

Looks like a twelve year old wrote that.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com/

Rich, I'll take a copy, but only if you throw in a pack of Marlboros.

OK, so now he has changed his name to Kim, he is telling ladle 3 to look out... I reckon he needs to be institutionalised - ladle 3 needs protection!

Rich - if you offered Coke instead of Pepsi I might consider...

#46 & #48 - Sorry, you'll have to ask my troll for those... Earl could be on fire and I wouldn't piss on him to turn it out.

@43 - PapaHotNuts has too much free time on his hands! LOL dude!

Brand spankin' new post over at Angry Ferrets!!

http://www.xanga.com/Angry_Ferret_Jones

Nice typo, Superficial Guy.

"Kevein"

The day after she told him she filed, or the day after she put on the papers that they've separated?

The day he was kicked to the curb (the day after they separated, according to the divorce papers) he was in Toronto, was he not? Much Music was filming him when he got the buh-bye text message.

"Today I'm a free mom"?

That is so Klassy!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

there's an entire drawer full of kitchen utensils quivering in their proverbial boots right now.

LOL papa. nice!

Ahhhh, "ladies look out" is right. Euugh. That would explain the involuntary shudder that went up my spine at precisely that time last week.

#52- That was already addressed at #14

Can we start discussing the over/under date for his first post Britney arrest for DUI? I'm taking the under on 08/15/07.

I'm a big fan of the random capitalization and the absence of proper punctuation -

Today I'm a Free mom
Ladle3 look out

Kevin Federline

Fuck a Wife
give mi my Kids
Bitch!

I am so moved by his plea for his children I am thinking about having my own so I can give them to him.

what about his other kids?

Yes ladies, look out! K-Fed is on the loose and looking for another woman to knock up!

What I don't understand is, why is K-Fed threatening ladles? Does he have a thing against soup or something?

Woman of the world...run...run...run as fast as you can....the world's biggest loser is on the loose

Deer Kevein, maybee you kan sell this on ebay to pay fur yur attornknee.

Yeah Ladles!!! Look tha FUCK OUT!!

Maybe next time he should request a piece of paper to write all of this on, instead on vandalizing a door.

Oh, no wait, he's not going to use the paper for writing, but for ROLLING DOOBIES!

He's going to change his name to Matt Foley and live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!

the thing is, soon another girl will be pregnant by him. she'll possibly be a little hot, maybe even slightly famous. as ugly and retarded as he is, there are girls lining up right now to offer him a 3-hole evening, and they're not all desperate cows either. that's the worst thing about this story. he should end up as a george michael public bathroom gay encounter police blotter item, but instead he'll just get laid a lot. seriously, girls, what's your fucking problem???

THIS GUY'S GOT A PINCH OF TARD IN HIM

Pure class that Kevin Federline!

http://www.celebslam.com

how about an over/under as to when he hooks up with Parisite? I'm calling 2/14/07.

And by "trolls"...I neant "my split personality". I should really lay off the refried beans.

I keep eating those delicious suckers and then I wind up typing things that I don't even remember posting. But anyways, I'll be sure to get those CD's to you guys.

P.S. I'll see if I can get you a Coke. I might have to pull a trick or two to get that. Coke is hard to come by these days. I quit the stuff months ago.

Oh, you meant Coca-Cola? Whoops. I just spilled the beans there. Sorry for that.

I'll get that "soda" to you in a jiffy.

Kev "The Vein" Fedderwhine is not free...just ask Britt how much this slimeball cost her.

Rich - dang, I was going to ask for a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 to go with the CD, I would need it to kill the pain of even touching one!

LOL papa

#70 - That actually wasn't that bad. In fact, if you had posted that under your own name, people may have responded favorably. The fact that they know it's not me just gets you the deafening sound of silence. Idiot.

"fuck a wife" Yeah K-fag,there will be a wife getting fucked good now, YOURS.

Gross 73! what could they possibly give to eachother? They already have it all. And by having it all, I mean, well, you know what I mean.

Did I say "neant"? Hehehehe. Man, those beans...those beans.

#76 Yes, Richport, I just commented on that very thing under the Naomi thread

Obviously those are the lyrics for his new single...

"I mean there's class, and then there's class. And then there's this guy, who has so much class he makes the Monopoly man look like a hobo."

Haha classic...

What can I say about him that hasn't all ready been said about Afghanistan?

BTW, I am thinking of writing him a check for $50,000,000.00 for the sex tape. I bet he wouldn't think twice about clearing it, first. Not that I couldn't cover 50 mil or nothing.

Nevermind Parasite Hilton, next post will be of KFed and Ryan Phillippe running off to Jamaica together to smoke pot and 'make love' on the beach all day.

Okay Mr Fish.

This post is spent.

NEXT!!

no it's a new policy, 10% of all comments at all times must be "RichPort" ask the fish he'll tell you

My bunghole is a little itchy today, PrettyBaby could you move your nose around a little bit? Thanks.

Comeon Superfish, first you misspell Mel Gibson in the Naomi Campbell story, and then Kevin Federline?

Drink a little too much last night?

I'm not a wealthy person --- but I say that if we all pitched in a dollar - yes a single dollar -- we could afford to buy Kevin the vasectomy that he wants and deserves. The money that you would spend in a single day on a cup off coffee could actually prevent Kevin from ever having the opportunity to reproduce again - isn't that worth the sacrifice? Here (reaching into pocket), here...here's my dollar. Anyone else??

#86. Who are you? I didn't know that I had a twin running around here.

My butt is pretty itchy though. Wierd.

Looks like it says "Ladles look out" -- maybe Kevin is considering a career in the culinary arts?

#88
Hell, I've got a nifty pair of shears here left over from sheep neutering, won't cost more than 50 cents, and it'll do the job right.

It always amuses me to hear a man refer to kids as 'his'.

sexybitch, you remind me of something quite familiar....oh! here it is:

http://www.beloblog.com/KHOU_Animal_Attraction/animalattraction/ugly%20dog-thumb.jpg

won't k-fag be disappointed when he discovers the only ladies who are interested in the fact that he is now a free man wear burquas, and they are trying to cross the pakastani border, and their ullalalalalas are bass.

#91 - Hey Sexybitch - you've got the shears - I've got the rubber gloves - let's get med-evil on his wigger-ass! WeeeHA! That's how we do it in Texas! (Actually we use a large device that looks like a pair of pliers and a large black rubber band - in about a week they'll just fall off!) Sweet!

I've only been able to read through all of these comments but strangely, not ONE person has pointed out that the refers to ladies as ladles. you guys are really slow today.

laldes, man, that's hilarious.

I like the vasectomy idea, but he's the kind of ahole that would NEVER get that operation. I'm sure he's so ignorant he thinks it will make him less of a "man." GAG. As if he could be less of a man.

#88 -- I'll give five dollars. Wait...wait. I have a better idea. Just give me some scissors and I'll give this bastard a vasectomy myself. What an ass.
And, really, K-fed...blackmail and writing stupidity on walls always works when trying to win custody of your kids. The judge will be SO impressed.
The next woman who lets this asshole touch her should be institutionalized as a lunatic.

#93
Never ceases to amaze that trolls are so hard up for attention that they'll take any kind at all, no matter how negative. Pretty pathetic and sad when being that's the best you can hope for.

In other news, OJ's going on TV telling everyone that IF he did the murders, this is how he'd do it. Another one who just can't stand being ignored.

One could say he needs to get a life, but he already took two.

#95
A week takes too long - he could breed again in that space of time! But we could sell the elastic to Nicole Richie as a lap band.

If I was a lady I would definitely look out. I would look out for his super sonic sperm flying through the air in case it landed on my arm. Cause then it would enter a tiny pore and zoom at warp speed to my uterus. Then I would be instantly pregnant with a fat little baby who would come out wearing a sideways baseball cap and no britches. But I'm not so I don't have to worry about it. I can just sit back and laugh at the situation that stupid trailer park bimbo has gotten herself into. Like she didn't know he was shower door scum when she met him? WE all did!

"It's a wonder he even managed to spell words instead of just drawing a bunch of stars and smiley faces."

LOL. Pretty rich given that the retard who composed the headline thinks "Kevein" is the guy's name. Perhaps he and Federline should shack up. They'd hit it off famously. :-)

richport - the game is getting tiring. just give it up and admit you often post innane comments and when confronted you blame it on your alter ego

jrzmommy - don't bring your parenting situations into your comments. face it - you can't justify spending all day commenting on this site. if your kids needed markers, as you say, they'd have to first pry you away from the computer. you are an embarassment and i pity your poor kids. you are the ultimate nightmare parent. get off the couch and find a job, go back to school, get involved in the community, be a respectable parent. and maybe learn to mind your own business if you don't want someone dishing it back to you.

so 9/11 was a good day to
break bad news

ok wr're b a a a a c k : ) ) )

I'd consider giving the kids over on one stipulation, he showed me one photo where he was holding them, maybe even had a smile on his face?

Kevin Federline has 4 Kids. There are 4 Horseman of the Apocolypse. Coincidence?

Probably. If they actually were bringing in the last days of doom, they'd be riding in on short horses, helmets backwards, bring pestilence and plague with crayons up their nose.

The fact that Kevin Federline has managed to reproduce this many offspring could be used as an argument that 'survival of the fittest' really doesn't exist.

I'm being perfectly honest when I say that I'm glad he did this. It's one more piece of evidence that would make a judge in a custody trial make sure he can't see his kids unsupervised. Because honestly, I don't think there's child on Earth who deserves to live with a guy like that.

If Fed Ex isn't the epitomy of a retarded hillbilly I don't know what is.

marshmallow, what were you in a past life, animal, vegetable, or mineral?

#86 Sorry Troller, I kiss no ones ass but usually I get asked if they can kiss and/or lick mine. What's up with that?

Richport's comments are usually funnier than yours. That's all.

As K-fed would probably say "Don't hate the playa, hate the game"

I'd hit (the living crap out of) him.

I like to end my comments by using Kevin Federline's words instead of my own. I love him so much. I believe somebody asked what's up with all the girls secretly (and not so secretly) into KFed? Exhibit A.

#112 Hahah That actually was funny!
Touche'

Yes, troller K-Fed is gonna bust my ass tonight. Thank you, that was funny!!!!!!!!!

Dear marshmallow dream, i love you so much and i want to spread your gooey cream all over myself and wacth you kick Richport's ass.then i will cum for you

#96 - If you use the "Find" feature of your browser, and search for the word "ladle" you'll find it listed ELEVEN TIMES prior to your posting.
And what is a "laldes" anyway?
Is English your native language or have you just accidentally shown us all that you're illiterate.

Can someone tell me how all of this trolling is going on? In order to post on this site, you have to have a sitekey name and password, yes? So how can the same name appear by two different people, unless one knows the other's password?

#96: I commented on LADLES first at #5. FIVE! I had to crouch over my mouse hitting "REFRESH" every second so that I would be the first to comment should a utensil reference be needed at any given moment. Now fuck off.

And how much child support do you want with only the latter two of your kids K-dick?

So now you publicly write the mom is a bitch. Nice.

K-dick, all class, all the time.

Seriously, ladies, look out. Before you know it, he's gonna hit you over the head with a wine bottle he stole and before you know it, you're pregnant with his child. So far 2 ladies with 2 children each. Better watch out.

#115 & #116 - look up the word sarcasm and you'll see my post from #96.

hey me, here's my answer to my question - because nickname isn't restricted to name and password

Dear Biatcho,

How is it that children are still coming to this site without any understanding of sarcasm, smartassed-ness, or humor?

Please do reply at your earliest convenience, as I am minutes from being told to stop giving you head/sticking my tongue up your ass.

Fondly,

mrs. t

This could turn out well for the House of Blues. And for the Superficial.
The owner can charge doaline for the door, then list it on ebay. Doubtless, since bspears's used hpt brought in the cash from a casino, some bspears obsessed, gelatinous middle aged white male shall sell all the collectable figurines he has in his mom's basement and buy the defaced door for a cool 30k.

Then he can post a youtube of him shattering it with his own body, suffering multiple lacerations in the process, proving to bspears that he and he alone truely loves her, and proposing via the enet.

Beautiful.

Where did he get the Sharpie from? It wasn't in his rider...

It wasn't that long ago some of us were saying that maybe he's the brains of the outfit. Clearly, we were wrong. There are no brains in that outfit. They're both stupid. She's stupid for birthing two of his kids and he's just stupid. And classy, too. And he's not that bad looking when he cleans up, but his actions of just the past week... yikes. He's making Pam Anderson and her skeevy ex look like parent of the year material. Yeah, and nothing - I say nothing - looks better to a judge in a custody hearing than soliciting payment for a sex video and writing profane comments about your soon-to-be-ex wife in a public place. While he's at it, he should make a few threatening phone calls and sit outside her house in his car and those kids are as good as his! He's a genius.

#108, that's hilarious considering you misspelled epitome.

Biatcho, don't worry, those of us with IQs over 60 understood, and even chuckled at, your post.

"Ladies look out, I'm a free man?" That sounds more like a warning for women than an announcement coming from K-Fed. Here's my translation of what he said:
"Women Beware, I've just been release from prison and I'm coming for you!" Poor man walking, beware of mugging.

Say what you want about Federline, but Britney Spears is the Einstein that chose him. Says a whole helluva lot about what's between her ears too.

Nothing proves you're a responsible parent more effectively than scrawling incoherent gibberish on shower doors.

#115 -- I was laughing out loud. Biatcho was being SARCASTIC.
You actually took the time to use the "find" key to write your post. To prove someone wrong. On a blog.
Help.

Marshy - Get off my nuts. You obviously can't compete without trying to be the rest of us. As many fucked up things that danielle and I said to each other, she came at me and didn't resort to fucking trolling. She at least gets respect for that (just that... let's not start sucking each other's dicks over here, danielle). You, dickhead, continue to try and fuck up playtime for the adults. This site is full of inane commentary, from me and others, but there are many gems as well. Oddly, none by you. I'm sure you'll be riding my dick a while longer, so we'll just wait until you get tired and go away. Now, fuck off...

How this jackass got two women to marry him and bear his spawn is beyond me. I mean, I know Britney's not the sharpest knife in the drawer herself, but compared to this guy she's practically a member of Mensa.

"Kevein" in the hizzouse!

http://www.celebslam.com

today i'm a free BITCH!
did he think that he was the only one who can write stuff on the door like that???

"Too day I is a free wigga
Hoes bedda look out
Fuk my old laydee
Gives me my meel tikets bitch!

Pure poetry...

What's Lorena Bobbitt doin these days anyway?

In about 15 years one of his kids will be calling 911 saying "My dad is an asshole"

His kids will be just like OJs. Fugly and mentally destroyed.

That is horrifying. I will continue to be horrified by this post for the rest of the day. How old is this guy, thirteen?? Was he dropped on his head as a baby?? Why is he still allowed to interact with other normal human beings?

#137 - The real questions are...

1. How could ANYONE have sex with this urchin-splooge for four fucking hours?

2. Why isn't he with his soul-mate Tonya Harding?

How dumb can one man be? Why is he famous?

I hate K-Fed so, so much.

Pretty sad when the first and only autograph you've ever signed was on a door and to a bunch of imaginary ladels.

K-Sped might want to change those lyrics from "All these model chicks wanna do me" to something that talks about his fondness for kitchen utensils.

And Kev, can ya be a little bit more specific about whose wife we're fucking?

Ladies look out:
- before you get impregnated?!
- for your money?!

a bit selfconfident aren't we?

#125 well excuse the hell out of me for my f'ing typo

#119 and friends: Perhaps if the post was 2) sarcastic or b) funny, I might have noticed. Too busy sharpening my under-60 IQ.

K-Fed: That's right, bitch, I'm-a gonna fuck up the world with my rappin' an' shit. Word.
Britney (puts down asparagus, adjusts her trucker hat, slaps the table).: Hunhhh? Y'all can go kiss my white-trash ass. Yer good for those little white swimmy thingies in your dong, what's it called. Spermicides. Me? I'm down to a SIZE SIX, y'all. What have you done with your life?
K-Fed: Yo yo yo. The worl' cares about ME, yo. Not you. Fuck a wife. You so Evian. That's muh new slang, bitch. No Evian in my dressin' room. Know why? 'Coz it spells NAIVE backwards. That's what you are. NAIVE. That's like French or something.
Britney: What's a ladle, anyway?
K-Fed: You dumbass. They're like, overalls n' shit for Germans.
[end of scene]

I think he means to say "fuck n wife", but with writing like that it's hard to tell. btw how is it that he can sign his name on a shower screen but can't do so on his newborn's birth certificate...could it be that Jayden's father and shower dude are not one and the same?!

#145- thank you. Finally something funny!

Oh frenchtoaststix, I am so sorry for hurting your delicate, fragile ego by not giving you props for being the first of ELEVEN people to make unfunny jokes about ladles. So in honor of your wit & intelligence I am going to repost your first post about ladles on every thread today.

Posted by frenchtoaststix on November 15, 2006 9:44 AM

It looks like "ladles look out." Perhaps Bioplant is right; he's on the sauce. I have a spatula that I could whack him upside the head with.

Jackass makes his "S" look like a 3; wheer did he goe to skewl?

i think I just peed in my pants.

Duuude, why does everyone hate this cat so much? Does NO ONE else recognize the underlying brilliance (on some level) that this jackass exudes at full force? "Fuck a wife," I mean... WOW. I take it as a threat. Most definitely. As in, "I'll fuck YOUR wife." Absolutely. The man is a classic on every level.

"Fuck a wife" - priceless. he's like beetlejuice - must have had some water on the brain as an infant. those kids are going to be "real smart."

To #71, veggi, you ROCK:

"THIS GUY'S GOT A PINCH OF TARD IN HIM"

ya think? I thought he had a good handful.

I think that's Selsun Blue Dandruff Shampoo in the shower. Gol-lly, now he should be embarrassed.

#148: You are still not funny.

Kevin Federline is a fucking loser.

#152, but I'm oh so cute & charming!!
Now grab that spatula you were taling about earlier & cram it up your cockchute.

yes "ladles [sic] look out" - why, because it's all gravy now?

#134- Your was the funniest actually.

What a jerk-off!
Dear[NOT] Kevin, At least act like a real man.
Poor britney.

You guys got it all wrong. This guy is just revealing his true elf identity. The anagram of his name is DEER ELF IN. And if you if you reverse this message you get:

"Hctib, sdik ym em evig efiw a kcuf

enilredef nivek

tuo kool seidal

nam eerf a m'I yadot"

which is Elvish, the archaic language of lore as described by Tolkien. In actuallity K- Fed wrote: "I am the Great and Mighty Elf, Enilredef, I am cool, I am the son of Yadot."

You guys are so lame for not realizing that this was a secret message!

It is now my lifetime mission to introduce Tom Cruise and Wiggaman to each other. A perfect match of a complete cunt and total prick.

oh, he's such a meanie!