She needs to upgrade her whole life, starting with her body that fat whale. Love the smoking around a newborn too, classy.

FIRST!

She looks good.

Shit. You beat me!

The only thing more annoying than someone who writes "FIRST!" on this website is someone who writes "FIRST!" when they are actually second. Please Jen, grow up.

Ten bucks says you were one of the kids who pushed in line at birthday parties as a child when the cake was cut so you could get one of the icing roses on your piece. I hated kids like you.

She upgraded that house when she served K-Fuck with divorce papers.

Wow. I didn't realize that a trailer park lot could cost so much. Must be in a good school district.

Shouldn't she have this kind of money in the bank already? Her net worth is like $150 million.

I first read that as "Britney Spears upgrades her hose" and figured her fishnets finally broke into many crusty, unwearable pieces. Not this time......

"Ugrades"?

Those hair extensions look foul. Kudos to her stylist for making her wear something decent for once. But her arms are way too fat for her to be wearing sleeveless.

And she's actually thinking anyone would come see her perform? Who does she think she is - Aretha?

this is what she read when she opened that envelope...

http://i4.tinypic.com/15iaq6s.gif

And is it just me or does she look retarded in pics 1, 6 and 7? Why are her eyes so far apart??

When I saw them lowering what turned out NOT to be Earl at the AMAs last night, I thought they were gonna let her grab a stick and beat him like a fucking piñata. Needless to say, I was pretty fucking disappointed.

Nelly Furtado's dress made me feel funny in my special area...

#7

I'm sure she does have the matured liquidity, but why spend it when you can spend fresh cash that hasn't earned any interest, hence not taxed you? Think about it. 29 million in matured liquidity is gaining at least $750k-1 million in earned interest every quarter! That would be at least $750k you wouldn't have if you spend the matured money.

And that's the easy explanation.

You mean Britney has a toilet indoors now?

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

She needs to have more confidence. It would look better than any new wardrobe a stylist could put together.

oooh! chunky arms!!

I hate her hair extensions! She looked more together when she was sporting that great sassy cut!

17 I concur

I guess long straight hair lends itself to the illusion of being taller and thinner on camera. Hey wait, maybe she should just become taller and thinner and then she could wear her hair any old way.

19th!

wait no.. 21st!

86, I agree with that, but it should at least be stylish and not so ratty on the ends. It just doesn't look real.

And too bad she's still acting as trailer trash as she was with the K-ster. I thought the hairdoo and life changes indicated a real turn for her. Not so...yet.

#6 - There's no such thing as a "good" school district in Florida.
The dress doesn't do her any favors. I know they're extensions, but it looks more like a wig.
I can't call her a cheeky monkey, it's got to be a chunky monkey!

Is it just me or is she giving some Vulcan, intergalactic secret sign to someone in the second picture?

What does ugrade mean?

what is wrong with you people? if you think that she is fat, you must think nicole richie is the posterchild for health. why is everyone so obsessed with people being too fat, too skinny? no one ever comments, wow britney looks great, especially considering she had a baby 3 months ago and she's going through a divorce. i'd kill to look like her, and my child is 3 years old. i like this site because the person who writes it is clever and hilariously funny, but these evil bitch comments have got to stop. you people are sick.

I think she looks good! And why does everyone think she is fat? It is amazing how a little weight (after just having a baby) would cause people to be so rude just because she had a killer body 2 babies ago. No wonder we have a bunch of girls starving themselves!

Why the mother fuck does she still have that cocksucking motherfucking wedding band on? And she's purposely flashing it, just like the his and hers ghetto dice tattoo on her wrist.

If she sells the house for 13.5 mill, she has to give K-Douche half. So, that's like what, 6.75 million left? She has to come up with another 22.25 mill for the new Miami house, hence the loser Palms gig. Coincidentally, in Vegas, K-Fag's home away from home. The shred of respect I had gained for her for leaving his filthy disgusting ass is going, going.....gone.

#29 - now THAT is an appropriate, well thought out comment. it's funny, clever, and made me think about something i hadn't already thought about. see it takes some level of intelligence to write something besides "OMG britney is a fat cow"

thank you for not being a moron.

#27 and #28:

She does look good, for having two babies in two years, but people are free to say what they wish. she, Nicole Richie and the rest of the attention whoring "celebs" put themselves out there to be scrutinized. No, she doesn't look fat, but that is not the most flattering dress. What are you, her fucking parents? If you don't like it, LEAVE! Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

26--at first I thought you were just drunk, but you're right! what is ugrade?

Thank you, bexybeans, for approving of my words. I desperately seek approval, and nothing fulfills me more than getting it from strangers on the internet.

27 & 28-- spoken like true fatties.

Spears in Florida? This should provide months of material

http://www.celebslam.com

It's nice they could find crappy, fried-looking extensions to complete her look.

I love the fact that as soon as she dumps K-Fuck the world loves her again....

Lest we forget that she did fucking marry him in the first place... and then there is the small issue of her having bared 2 of his children which I'm sure she did just for the strong genes.

Sheesh. Still a piece of white trash to me.

@35 No kidding. Whenever we hear of people doing stupid/bad things, it's usually from Florida, Georgia, or Texas. Don't know what it is. No offense to those living in said states who aren't complete morons.

any clues as to why she's still sporting the wedding band?

or maybe it was his cock ring and she wears it as a reminder of what to avoid in the future

number 38, I assure you people from other states say stupid things as well, but perhaps people from those states are just too stupid to pick up on that stupid

no offense to those who aren't stupid though, or to those who aren't bigots

It's stuck? She got married when she was thinner and maybe she never bothered to take it off.

I've found that people from the state of unconsciousness say pretty fucking stupid things.

every time i see her face now i hear dueling banjos. she's just exposed her white trash roots for so long, i can't believe she's anything else.

and those thunder thighs are so huge i'm sure the audience broke out umbrellas thinking a storm was coming

Vegas, eh?

"Ah'm jest so proud that y'all come out to mah show. Ain't it comical how ah fit into Elvis's ole jumpsuits? We saved us a ton of money own wardrobe, but they's so hot mah back fat gets all sweaty. An' I gets these cravin's for fried nanner sandwiches. Course, that's nuthin' new, uh-hyuck-hyuck"

Next year it'll be Branson, MO. Then the slack-jawed yokels who couldn't afford to see her in a classy venue like the Palms can gape at her in dull fascination at the Andy Williams theater, one show a day, two Saturday and Sunday.

And the downward spiral of her career continues.....

she should sell her house for $5 to her sister and give k-fuck the $2.50 he so rightly deserves.

that's a good point jrzmommy, I never thought of it in those terms, but I like your line of thought!

Jaimie Lynn and K-fuckhead are so going to get it on.

48- huh? what did I say?

jrzmommy you said I've found that people from the state of unconsciousness say pretty fucking stupid things.

ah, yes.....I was passed out when I said that, so I didn't remember.

hahaha! that's ok jrzmommy! it was a profound moment for moi!

Yes, knowing how many zero's is in a million is important. What's even more important is not loosing 9 billion like Bush did... that is a great deal of zeros to keep track of; maybe he needs a calculator for Christmas.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Good luck to whoever buys it. I would think it would be pretty difficult to boil a house in Clorox.

she needs to do something about those saggy shoulders (you thought i was gonna say tits, didn't ya?)

@54
And knowing how many o's are in the word "losing" is also important. Ha ha ha!

when are extensions going to come OUT of style?

those arms make baby jesus cry.

@57 eh, not so much.

#27 & 28 - I am sorry you're both ginormous fatwads. Wait, no I'm not. I can't wait to gorge myself on turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, 5 different deserts, wine, beer & cheese and not have to worry about any of it. tubbalardasses.

Regarding the idiotic comments of 27 and 28-
Of course she looks decent here-she's been lipoed,
had new implants put in-no doubt the silicon ones
cause she could set that up even though it will be
a while before they are available to the public, she
no doubt had a tummy tuck and where are her
scars from the babies' births? She should have
scars dammit!
She just can't ever get it together because she
must not really care about how she comes off
to the general public. It's just pointless to root
for the girl because she ALWAYS makes such
poor choices and she keeps falling on her face.

It definitely looks like she is wearing a gold wedding band.

I'm not a fan of the girl, but how many women look that good two months after having the second baby in two years? For chrissake, people! The dress is kinda plain though, and I like her hair better without the extensions.

And why the fuck is she selling her house? Didn't she just spend $100,000 on fixing up the nursery? Some people have way too much money.

big mamma

does anyone know what that tatto is on her wrist in the last photo?

I'm still not impressed. Its an improvement but still, someone with all her $$ and resources and time to work out all day ought to look way better than that. She is just so fucking clueless and it is a damn shame.

Nipsy I think the tattoo is a pair of pink dice and kfed got a matching pair of blue dice on his wrist. Could they be any gayer?

#67 you're right about the tattoo. thanks for the tip.

dice tattoo screams "player". huge STOP sign. he's such a fucking cheeseball that if i ran a cracker across his back, i would probably have myself a tasty treat. that's probably why brit couldn't resist his charms.

Her neighbors are probably throwing a party at this very moment, celebrating the fact that they're finally getting rid of them. I know if I had to watch Kevin drive past my house everyday blaring his CD I'd want to croak.

She still has a football linebacker neck wider than her cranium with a man's Adam's apple and the world's worst weave.

Doesn't she realize that people saw her on David Letterman not long ago with her hair whacked off above her shoulders? WTF? It's SOOO fake and EW

******* THIS JUST IN *******
Turns out that Britney was unhappy with how she appeared at the AMAs and had some digital masters painstakingly slim down her form via computer frame by frame (just like they had magically chunked up Whitney Houston at the Michael Jackson tribute in 2001).
Here's a photo of the REAL Britney:
http://www.freakingnews.com/entries/3000/3232-Britney-Spears-Obese_w.jpg

HollyJ:

"She still has a football linebacker neck wider than her cranium with a man's Adam's apple and the world's worst weave."

Wow, you were really checking her out. Must be love.

still, i'd hit it.

She's looking so pretty already!!! thank god she left that sucker KFED!

#1 YOU IDIOT SHE DOESNT LOOK FAT BUT WITH THOSE BIG EARS AND COCK EYE SHE REMINDS ME OF A MONKEY, THAT POOR GIRL SERIOUSLY,SHE GOT PLAYED BY AMERICA'S WORST WIGGER SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS DOING ALL SHE CAN NOT TO BREAK OUT IN TEARS

Hollywwod Gossip Books:
http://www.onlybooks.us/campaigns/hollywood_gossip_books.html

Go Brit go brit!

she's clearly wearing a wedding band. she's going to take him back. you mark my words.

She can:
1. Divorce K-fed
2. Buy a new house
3. Sell 30 gazillion records

But she will never, ever, ever get rid of that man's neck she is wearing.

OOOO U DUMMIES!!

SHE JUST HAD A BABY AND HER BOOBS

ARE BIG CUZ THEY ARE FULL OF MILK!!

SHE BREASTFEEDS BOTH THE BABIES, IT'S

CALLED TANDEM NURSING AND ITS THE BEST

THING SHE WILL EVER DO 4 THOSE KIDS!!

BREAST IS BEST!!

THIS IS ALSO WHY SHE LOST WEIGHT
SO DAMN FAST!!

WHEN U BREASTFEED U LOSE 500 CALORIES
A DAY!!

THE BREAST MILK MAKES UR BABY

-HEALTHIER( LESS SICKNESS FOR A LIFETIME )
-SMARTER
-HAPPIER
-PREVENTS MOST CANCERS

WHY DONT MOST MOMS BREASTFEED??

CUZ THEY ARE SELFFISH!!

GOD GAVE U BOOBS TO BREASTFEED!! OK!!

THANK U VERY MUCH!!!