Nov 20 2006Britney Spears to give away sex tape
According to a family friend, Britney Spears is "seriously thinking about" giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of her sex tape for free so Kevin Federline can't make any money off of it.
"Brit figures she'll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James," said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla's Burger Basket. "Half of nuthin' is nuthin', and that's what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it." Federline has been saying the sex tape is four hours long, however, Price says the tape is closer to forty-five minutes
This is like a battle of wits between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline to see who can screw each other over the most. I'd compare it to an intricate game of chess but it's really more like a pig wrestling contest. I picture each of them staying up late at night trying to put together battle plans, furiously scribbling on a notepad with their tongue sticking out. Then when you look at the notepad it's just a bunch of numbers, with some of the 3's facing the wrong way.
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Reader Comments
1. mrs.t - November 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Why is she with Jason Priestley? And what kind of hillbilly logic is she employing with "I'll show him-I'll GIVE the dang thang away!"?
2. mrs.t - November 20, 2006 2:51 PM
And that guy, Jason Priestly or not, has on the gayest jeans ever. I think the back pockets might be heart-shaped.
3. PunjabPete - November 20, 2006 2:52 PM
More importantly, how can they both be in possession of the tape? Two copies? Two versions? I am starting to smell a setup here....
4. Captain Walleye - November 20, 2006 2:52 PM
She has a fat ass.
5. Kristin - November 20, 2006 3:00 PM
Yeah, how do they both have a copy of the tape?
6. Ed Bambrick - November 20, 2006 3:05 PM
Can we pay to have the two of these clowns erased?
7. minniememe - November 20, 2006 3:06 PM
JP has not aged well at all. Word is TCLJPC!
8. jbeezy666 - November 20, 2006 3:06 PM
probably one for her to take on the road with her. also, kudos to britney if she's really going to do that. what guts to release a sex tape of yourself, what with having two kids and all. and, hey, if it's gonna come out anyways, why not be in control of it? neato.
9. Adult Underoos - November 20, 2006 3:06 PM
cool, where do i sign up?
http://funderpants.com
10. enfilade - November 20, 2006 3:13 PM
It will be the smartest thing she ever did.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
11. captainpyro - November 20, 2006 3:14 PM
#3, Of course there are two copies. Federtard's is four hours long, because he edited it to play in super-slo-mo. I also hear that in order to make himself look less like a tool he used Peter North as stunt-cock.
12. herbiefrog - November 20, 2006 3:14 PM
...worked for paris
...get it all over
...and
...move on
not that you should listen to us... : )
13. gossipmonger - November 20, 2006 3:15 PM
A.In no way is that Jason-it's one of her hangers-on.
B. I'm guessing she was able to get the new silicone ones.
C. She was so excited to fit into her new size 6 jeans
she neglected to get them hemmed.
D. You can take the girl out of the country but you'll never
really clean her up.
14. herbiefrog - November 20, 2006 3:16 PM
ooo... ooo... ooo...
...shoot the hostage
...does that help?
15. captainpyro - November 20, 2006 3:16 PM
Also, I refuse to believe that that's Jason Priestly. It looks more like Keith Richards after an extensive face-lift.
16. BoognishRising - November 20, 2006 3:19 PM
Never thought I'd say it, but kudos for Brit.
17. happy_bunny - November 20, 2006 3:26 PM
She should totally do this.
In other news, holy crap was that source article badly written.
18. RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors - November 20, 2006 3:31 PM
It's ridiculous that the facts are coming from the owner of Nyla's Burger Basket. Not only that, but she's seen it? What family friend watches your sex tape?
Classy, Brit.
19. Sladder - November 20, 2006 3:31 PM
This article was posted last week and was clearly intended as a fictional satire of the whole kfed/spears sex tape hype... whats funny is that how a lot of news sites have started posting the story as if it were real ( they probably just saw some other site post it and assumed it was real ). here is the very last part of the story which never made it into the many different web sites that posted it ( it was way at the bottom sectioned off, and it reads.. )
© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional.
Be advised to believe half of what you see and nothing of what you read.
You must have a mental age no greater than eighteen to enjoy this site.
Not that i think it will clear anything up, because im guessing i'll be seeing the wall street journal or some other credible news source posting it next.. or probably not.. im sure they make an effort to verify these things.
Not that i'd be opposed to seeing the tape.. i mean.. whoah.. *gasp* and... so on..
20. RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors - November 20, 2006 3:32 PM
and JP looks like a truck driver.. wtf happened?
21. killahcheese - November 20, 2006 3:35 PM
at least she has some leverage now with K-Fed.
Good for her
22. tito - November 20, 2006 3:39 PM
#2, they're not heart-shaped. They're True Religions, aka jeans that cost more than 2 for $10 at Wal Mart.
23. happy_bunny - November 20, 2006 3:42 PM
#19 Sladder:
That article's supposed to be satire? Not only is it a grammatical mess, but it's unfunny too.
I'm not sure if I believe you're correct on this, but maybe; there's another article on there about Shar Jackson saying K-Fed's a "nice guy." Could be another humorless attempt at satire. hmmm...
24. Dory - November 20, 2006 3:45 PM
This is funny. What a way to fight back.
25. BarbadoSlim - November 20, 2006 3:50 PM
Check and Mate, get a joooooob faggot.
26. gossipmonger - November 20, 2006 3:51 PM
The trucker dude is her manager Larry Rudolph-she needs
a new manager quick!
27. Sladder - November 20, 2006 3:53 PM
#23 happy_bunny:
Here is a link to the original article.
http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/11172006_11_britgivesitaway.shtml
you can clearly see its a take on her white trash roots, i mean confiding in the owner of the 'burger basket' or taking one-year-old Sean Preston and nine-week-old Jayden James—for bacon-cheesburger smoothies or her cousin that married the other cousin.. if after reading though the article doesnt make you scratch your head a little then make shure you at least read the disclaimer at the very bottom that clearly states its fictional.
28. JoannieBalonie - November 20, 2006 3:57 PM
Those extensions my god! I cant get over how hideous they are! She is such a mess! Team Aguilera!
29. BarbadoSlim - November 20, 2006 4:00 PM
Jason Priestly? Looks more like Eric Roberts, either way he's had a rough couple of years...
30. supanigga - November 20, 2006 4:01 PM
this is the smartest thing britney spears has ever thought of.
it would be better if she sold the tape herself. britney the smut peddler.
31. herbiefrog - November 20, 2006 4:08 PM
he hates
hyaving
to repeat himself
*us*
32. sexybitch - November 20, 2006 4:08 PM
This is the sort of strategery that got us into Iraq.
33. LL - November 20, 2006 4:26 PM
If this story is true, it sounds like one of the better ideas she's had. Granted, it's pretty bad when giving away a sex tape prior to your impending divorce/custody hearing just to keep your money-grubbing baby daddy from profiting from it sounds like a good idea. But hey, those are the cards she was dealt.
RE mystery dude: Hello, that's her truck stop pimp. He's got Lohan working for him, too. You'll see them all at the classier Truck Stops of America. The blue plate special is a burger and a blow job for $10.
Sorry, that was mean, but I couldn't resist.
34. Flip21 - November 20, 2006 4:29 PM
Britney better give head to the aide who thought this up.
Head and about $10 million.
35. Binky - November 20, 2006 4:33 PM
Well - I think she's found the right 'price point' as they say in the industry.
36. tsarinaamanda - November 20, 2006 4:36 PM
Ugh, who really WANTS to see those two fucking anyways? I'm betting there will be at least one of the following items visible in the background at some point:
A: Cheetos
B: KY
C: a bottle of Jim Beam or a can of Hurricane Malt Liquor
D: a pack of Marlboro Reds
(feel free to add your own!)
You could make a drinking game out of it...like every time you see one of those items, you take a drink. Every time K-Tard says "Yo", "Dawg", or any other type of wigger-ism, you drink. Every time Brit says "Y'all"....well, you get the idea. The possibilities are endless!
37. chilifries - November 20, 2006 4:37 PM
Ok, so two things.
First, that's not JP. And if it were, well, he did smash himself up pretty good playing race car driver, so I'm sure he's so grateful to be walking and talking he could give a shit about what he looks like.
Second, it's a brilliant strategy, but it won't get Britney very far. It's called "wasting of assets" and is frowned upon by the legal system. Where it WOULD get Britney is in the middle of a courtroom, sandwiched between "experts" going through the tape frame-by-frame to try to determine what its value would have been had it been legitimately exploited so they can figure out what K-Fed's 50% share would have been. And then she'd have to pay him that. And as much as I hate K-Fed and would love to see him on a street corner working as one of those "sign spinners", she was dumbass enough to marry him, procreate with him, make a sex tape with him. She is merely sowing what she has reaped.
38. Richard C Mongler - November 20, 2006 4:52 PM
There are still people who want to see Britney Spears naked? Kill yourselves.
39. CelebSlam.com - November 20, 2006 5:11 PM
Chances of this happening are approximately zero.
http://www.celebslam.com
40. BarbadoSlim - November 20, 2006 5:13 PM
ooof #37 I forgot that little legal concept (shame on me) you are absolutely correct.
still, get a fucking jooooob douchebag.
41. chilifries - November 20, 2006 5:17 PM
#40, I have a job and, considering my post, I'll give you one guess as to what it is. Hint: In my job, as on SuFi, I'm still sometimes referred to as "douchebag".
;-)
42. herbiefrog - November 20, 2006 5:20 PM
sorry but sean preston think its a good idea
and we'll see jj soon
so do it
do it now
what ?
43. your_therapeutic_smile - November 20, 2006 5:30 PM
i have to say...
that's really smart.
44. happy_bunny - November 20, 2006 5:51 PM
chilifries: what if she sold the tape for cheap - way cheaper than what k-fed's claiming to have been offered? like $100,000? and gave k-fed $50k? would that do it?
45. Courtney - November 20, 2006 6:10 PM
Nice. Although I'd much prefer the Britney/Justin version.
46. Jenners - November 20, 2006 6:12 PM
This whole scheme is right up there with OJ's "If I Did It" book. I mean the mentality is just effin' psycho.
At least they cancelled OJ's stupid show and book.
How about Brit-brit's new take on the sex tape..."IF I did a sex tape with Kevin, this is what it would be like..."
Yeah, my point exactly.
47. eXtasyStef - November 20, 2006 6:32 PM
'Where it WOULD get Britney is in the middle of a courtroom, sandwiched between "experts" '
Wouldn't be the first time she was sandwiched between two experts.
48. assfacecocknocker - November 20, 2006 6:39 PM
i would like to sandwich the bitch. between me and k-fed. we can film it too and i can get some of that dirty porn money.
49. sayll - November 20, 2006 6:46 PM
Some 14 year old girl in Russia went bald just so that tubby former jailbait (sorry, pop "singer") can fix the crappy haircut she got a week ago.
She looks so plain and frumpy, I honestly can't understand why anyone would want to see her clothed, let alone naked.
50. Lauren - November 20, 2006 6:52 PM
Funny you should mention chess, because apparently, that's what's on the sex tape. I didn't even know they could play chess.
51. NipsyHustle - November 20, 2006 7:02 PM
she's obviously going to take him back she's still wearing a wedding band. if she was THAT through with his ass she would want to display no symbols of the marriage.
we are getting played by the malibu hillbillies.
52. yuckyfresh - November 20, 2006 8:08 PM
THAT is jason priestly?? he looks like he works at a gas station.
and she's still a hefer.
i wonder how many times she was dropped as child. probably not half as many as SP, and this is how she turned out. those poor kids will never have a chance.
53. yuckyfresh - November 20, 2006 8:12 PM
THAT is jason priestly?? he looks like he works at a gas station.
and she's still a hefer.
54. natechip - November 20, 2006 8:14 PM
She has no ass!! It's too bad she didn't make a sex tape when she was still hot.
55. Scott - November 20, 2006 8:35 PM
I guess this game will need to switch Kevin for Britney! LOL!!!
http://www.tacosntonic.com/flash/PlayBritneySpears.php
56. danielle - November 20, 2006 8:38 PM
could this girl's hair look any tackier? cut that shit off! looks like 2 squirrels are wrestling for the last nut on top of her head.
57. dreamhypnotique - November 20, 2006 8:57 PM
The liklihood of people handing money over to Kevin Federline to buy a sex tape with him in it -- even if it has Britney in it too -- is about as likely as people going to one of his gay rap concerts. My god. The guy air-synths in his video for Lose Control. What a homo.
58. SuperG - November 20, 2006 9:07 PM
#36...HILARIOUS!
59. CruisingForCock - November 20, 2006 9:21 PM
This is just another page from the Britney diary of how to seriously fuck up a good thing.
My fellow bitches, rule #1: Never document it. Married, gay, straight, in "love". Camera = I'm not getting naked. BASTA.
60. PrettyBaby - November 20, 2006 9:28 PM
Ferret, you were trolled on the last post. Just lettin' ya know.....
61. cap077 - November 20, 2006 10:56 PM
That guy is LArry Rudolph, the manager that initially made her famous. She hired him to make her hot again. Haha...JP...Donna MArtin graduates!!!
62. SEcwags - November 20, 2006 11:49 PM
HMMMMMMMM..So many things wrong with this picture, so many places to start. Oh wait, I got a good place to start! How about I traded in K-Fed for a fuggin truck driver. And my truck driver is walking without his truck. Cause the truck is impounded due to the DWI. DWI's are sexy. Like baseball caps. And flabby assed belly-buttons. And 45 year old truck drivers. And oversized "your mom was a fly" sunglasses.
63. cynicalheretic - November 20, 2006 11:59 PM
Here is a recent photo of Jason priestly
http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,526034_1%7C%7C604858%7C0_0_,00.html
64. HolisticWisdomcom - November 21, 2006 12:12 AM
That guy with Brit is NOT Jason Priestly.
That being said, no matter who gives away or sells the sex tape, I know it will sell.
After all, we sell quite a bit of Paris, Chyna, Pam & Tommy and other celeb tapes. Not sure the draw other than the rubber neck idea that it is hard not to be curious.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/best-adult-films.htm
65. rsx - November 21, 2006 12:34 AM
Well whether its Britney who does it herself or Kfed.. we just need that tape out in public pretty soon! Though I'm not sure if she was looking any pretty when they made it.
66. BeaGass - November 21, 2006 2:07 AM
2 cunts........no waiting
*apologies to the cunts in the room
67. BeaGass - November 21, 2006 2:14 AM
Posted by SuperG on November 20, 2006 9:07 PM
#36...HILARIOUS
-----------------
and by saying, "HILARIOUS", juSt proves what an idiot you really are....
68. jazzmine - November 21, 2006 2:27 AM
She best be careful not to trip over them there boobs.
69. nash - November 21, 2006 2:31 AM
Anyway I can't wait to see Brit's shaven pussy getting f***! I wonder what the tape will show (soft like Paris or more explicit like Pam's one).
I hope Lohan's is coming out soon too.
70. EliasAlucard - November 21, 2006 3:35 AM
lol, jerking off to pr0n starring K-Fag would be a disaster!
71. killeristic - November 21, 2006 4:17 AM
YO! COME ON BRITNEY! GIVE ME THAT FRIGGING TAPE!!!
72. tweetyeyes - November 21, 2006 4:51 AM
I'm confused. Where are you guys seeing JP?
73. PaisleyMoon - November 21, 2006 5:40 AM
That girl needs a bra. ParAss just needs to be killed.
74. Mojo - November 21, 2006 5:57 AM
oh god just let this tape be released already.i cant stand britney spears but i dont mind seeing her have sex.let's see if this hick should have really been a pornstar.
http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com
75. RichPort - November 21, 2006 6:23 AM
I need to stop reading so fast... I thought the headline said: Britney Spears to give away sex... what the fuck am I gonna do with these non-refundable tickets to Weezyana now???
76. Icehawg - November 21, 2006 6:47 AM
First!
77. zena marie - November 21, 2006 7:30 AM
So much for the rumor that Britney recently got bouyant new implants to go with that weave.
78. PrettyBaby - November 21, 2006 7:35 AM
Good Morning All! BTW, this is my first post on here. And also BTW, what is the point of trolling me with pro-abortion websites?! Am I missing something there?! I guess I don't get it....
Anyway, Brit is a Dumbshit. Now she is in this mode where she will completely be involved in one-upsmanship with K-Fed. So that should make for a lot of good comedy for us :)
79. PrettyBaby - November 21, 2006 7:35 AM
#36 Fucking Hilarious Post
80. serial snarkalec - November 21, 2006 7:56 AM
44 of the minutes are of them eating aphrodisiac food like pork rinds, barbeque Slim Jims and Little Debbie creme raisin cakes.
81. ponk - November 21, 2006 8:05 AM
Brit held the tape up to the light and figured "what the hell, you can't see anything on it anyway".
82. lostopoly - November 21, 2006 8:14 AM
Brit's journey to lesbo island starts now...but the video release will make K-Ded a bigger star.
Can nothing stop the juggernaut from hell?
The apocalypse is coming, K-Fed being famous and getting free meals is a sign!
83. 86 - November 21, 2006 8:16 AM
Well..........now we know what she and Paris were talking about.
84. magickal - November 21, 2006 8:22 AM
Enough of this story already! What, slow news day? Nothing happened in the world since Shitney went club hopping with Parisite Herpton?
85. 86 - November 21, 2006 8:25 AM
Seriously. I'm over it.
86. haggis - November 21, 2006 8:37 AM
Dumb. If Federline gets 50 Million for the tape that means she is entitled to half so she gets $25 million. Dumb bitch is gonna throw away 25mil for spite.WTF she is the tupidest person on the face of this planet.
87. Triumph Insult Dog - November 21, 2006 8:41 AM
Brilliant! No tape for cash, no leverage! And she would have put a permenant stamp on him being a big loser.
Well played, my friend...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
88. KimberWolf - November 21, 2006 9:52 AM
I agree, it's the best move she could make all around.
Anything else happen today?
89. George - November 21, 2006 10:03 AM
Think this is a fake news item. http://today.ccopinion.com/britney-spears-fake-sex-tape-news/
90. veggi - November 21, 2006 12:19 PM
come on folks, "waisting of assets". Please for the love of common sense, you can't believe that.
91. Tardass100 - November 21, 2006 1:30 PM
never thought it would be possible that Federline turns out to be the better parent now that Britney has become another skinny skank crack ho in pimp Paris' stabble.
92. mikewall - November 21, 2006 4:44 PM
I wonder who performs better in bed in front of a camera, Paris or Britney
http://www.topsexywomen.com/britney-spears-picture.html
93. eXtasyStef - November 21, 2006 5:00 PM
Breaking news--there never was a tape.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061121/ap_en_ce/people_federline
94. Mr. Fritz - November 21, 2006 5:19 PM
That bitch should buy a better fitting top and stay home with her NEWBORN son.
95. Ambassador of Sexy - November 21, 2006 5:25 PM
I don't know about you, but if it's Fatty Spears, then I'm not watching it. Vaginas aside, she looked pretty god damn gross as a chubby motherfucked. Yes, motherfucked.
woot
woot
amen
http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php
96. nycssmith - November 21, 2006 6:16 PM
She's such a great role model for young mother's
Keep it going Britney you are really living up to your roots and I'm not talking about your weave-White Trash.
97. sassi_chic - November 22, 2006 9:38 AM
Good for you Brit! You people act like she is not allowed to go out and have fun. Before you point fingers your hands better be fucking spotless!!
98. lola - November 25, 2006 9:44 PM
send them both to
www.aveyou.com
99. mr.trombone - December 13, 2006 12:11 AM
Sweet looks great
http://www.lastbookmark.com/brit/index.html
100. HollywoodSnark - March 28, 2007 10:51 AM
lol, that's funny - that would be great
101. molly - April 6, 2007 11:16 PM
Who is hotter, Britney Spears or Adriana Lima?
102. molly - April 6, 2007 11:17 PM
Who is hotter, Britney Spears or Adriana Lima?
http://www.top-beautiful-women.com/
103. molly - April 6, 2007 11:19 PM
http://www.top-beautiful-women.com/britney-spears-pic.html