finally! christ.

Yaaaaaaayy!! Back to Fresno with you, Feddy!!!

shocking

oh yeah...first.

oh also she should have checked "incurable insanity"

About time fish... I know you can't type one handed but couldn't you just quit jerking off for 5 minutes for a story of this magnitude? You took way longer than every where else... But for you same day is an improvement... Maybe I should say good job. Yeah. Good Job Fish! Same day!! Woo hoo...

Soon..."Who the fuck is Kevin Federline?"

(I can't wait.)

Headlines should read: Britney Dumps Whigger - no more fake TNB.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
K-fed is fucked now!!! ROTFL!! Her eyes finally opened!!!!

Sniff. It's all just too beautiful! Thank you, Britney. Thank you!

And with that one piece of paper, she's revived the hopes of a million men who still don't have a chance with her.

http://glossedover.com

it was bound to happen.. she won't stay single for long though..

I wonder if he gets to keep the "Federline Ferrari". That shit is FIRE.

STOP THE PRESSES! Britney finally ditches K-FAG!

There goes half of the Democratic party's voters. Oh well. Karl Rove strikes again.

(Oh yeah, there's an election today people. Betcha forgot, right? Vote or Die. Then die.)

I hope the pre-nup also makes him pay her back for all the money she's wasted on his ridiculous career.
How much does clown college cost?

I bet she's dating Lance Armstrong.

D-Vor-Say!

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY... Not because I'm a particular fan of Britney's but K-Idiot I can't stand!

I love how she's asked to pay their own legal fees... Oh yeah a K-Idiot... hand over the unlimited AMEX Card!

Haha... Fed-Ex. Too funny.

http://www.veryliberating.com

In other news, the Allies won World War Two.

A coincidence after finding out his middle name is Earl? I think not. I wonder what this is gonna do for his album sales... I mean street cred is everything in the bare knuckle brawls of rap, and he's gonna have quite a few "rich lifestyle" lyrics to change.

Britney just increased her fuckability factor ten fold.

#6
I'm with you on that one, stupid fishhead must be asian his always 5 hours late.

This one won't even make the radar now...
http://apnews1.iwon.com//article/20061107/D8L8GBG80.html

i now have less disrespect for britney spears

this guys gonna have a bad week after soundscan numbers come in tomorrow morning and he sold 10 000 copies

Doooood! Who's cooties will she catch first? Travis'? Oh the suspense is killing me, I can hardly contain myself.........................................

I love you so much britney I could kiss you!

Im so happy tonight we are having video marathons dressed as you and watching your videos and toasting champagne and it will be marvelous! Im sure all my roommates will shoot me but it will be so worth it! Welcome back lady!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=somQERdn0UY

Look how much publicity this will generate for both of them...just saying. I would not be surprised to see these two kids get back together.

ABOUT FUCKING TIME.

Oh yeh! Just as I was giving up hope on finding a good sugar mama.

#19 - Fed-Ex? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

#24 I totally agree! Not a huge Britney fan but this at she's not walking barefoot in a gas station bathroom.

Hey ponie - I thought the mexicans were always late????

When she buys him out for $5 mil for his half of the mansion, he can laugh his way back to Fresno and never work again.

Well, she's popped out a kid for every year that they have been married! No wonder she left him. If she didn't get a divorce now, in about 10 years she'd have about half a dozen retarded babies to feed.

Jeeeezzzz. I never saw this coming.

kfed sold only 1000 copies of his cd first week!!! boy did i overestimate. maybe britney heard that number and realized something was really wrong.

Earl, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out! Ha!

Who gets custody of the Cheetos?!

who had 100 bux on 2 years??? you win!

honestly, im happier than a pig in shit. And I love the fact that most of us hate britney spears, but we HAAAAATE K-Fed more. I bet you he ends up working at mcdonald's or something.

Britney looked awesome on david letterman though. id f her...and im a chick

oo yeah one more thing...remember that dixie chicks song..."goooooodbye EAAARRL"

This girl loves publicity. What a better way to get it than to file for divorce. Since she's not as popular as she once was, she has to find ways to stay in the spotlight. Still, I'm glad he's been kicked to the curb. Oh yeah, TCLTC!

F U C K I N G A R I G H T!

Time for captain talentless fucktard to take his rightful place in the trailer park.

The only thing I find incredibly shocking about this whole car accident is that according to #37 - this cock-bag sold 1000 copies of his CD to 1000 fucktards.

Why? Why even one? You know he's to cheap to buy one and his family knows he's a talentless douche-bag....

1000 americans must die.

K-Fuck is now K-fucked. The gravy train has pulled out of Losertown station. I somehow feel she was planning this after Sean but Earl craftily knocked her up before she could file the papers. Too bad Insperminator! I have no love for Britney but I cannot wait to see this fucktard dissolve into the abyss of oblivion, where he so rightly deserves to be!

Ha, I love american christian values white trash

"Twice knocked up/ twice divorced"

[TRANSLATES TO]

"Finally getting your shit together" :)

What guy? Oh, you mean "that guy who married Britney that one time"?

BOUT FUCKING TIME ! Grats Britney - not a huge fan of her's but its a shame for any beautiful ...semi- talented woman to be drug down into the dirt by a Kearl-Fed. Kearl ... doesnt that kinda sound like Carol if you say it with a redneck accent... huh

oh you knew better huh? you were gonna show everyone. flaunting the Beverly Hill Billy White Trash styles. ignoring every indication that he was a piece of shit because you were in loooove. look at you now. 2 kids from this reject. they can go into therapy with Shar's kids, with you footing everyone's bill. all because you knew better. stupid bitch.

... Who the fuck is Kevin Federline?

holy shit. I will drink to this tonight.

Who's next? Jaime Kennedy? Some kid from "Laguna Beach"? The boom mic operator for the Ellen Show? That guy waiting for the bus over there? The possibilities are endless when you have no sense of self worth!!! Hurry up and gain all that wait back you crying, baby-dropping slob! Someone will always be there to take a picture of it!

The teet has been removed.

both his bitches left him when their 2nd kid was 2months old. coincidence??

I wondered why my FRITO-LAY stock took a dive...

Come see the REAL scoop on www.celebritybabylon.com!!!

The weirdest thing. . .K-Fed was on TRL today and not a word was spoken. . .well, actually I couldn't force myself to watch the whole thing even with that shotgun, so maybe they did mention it and I missed it, but as far as I could tell they acted like all shit was normal, even asking him stupid questions about Britney.

And yeah, Superfish, I love you but you LAGGED on this one.

The weirdest thing. . .K-Fed was on TRL today and not a word was spoken. . .well, actually I couldn't force myself to watch the whole thing even with that shotgun, so maybe they did mention it and I missed it, but as far as I could tell they acted like all shit was normal, even asking him stupid questions about Britney.

And yeah, Superfish, I love you but you LAGGED on this one.

The weirdest thing. . .K-Fed was on TRL today and not a word was spoken. . .well, actually I couldn't force myself to watch the whole thing even with that shotgun, so maybe they did mention it and I missed it, but as far as I could tell they acted like all shit was normal, even asking him stupid questions about Britney.

And yeah, Superfish, I love you but you LAGGED on this one.

The weirdest thing. . .K-Fed was on TRL today and not a word was spoken. . .well, actually I couldn't force myself to watch the whole thing even with that shotgun, so maybe they did mention it and I missed it, but as far as I could tell they acted like all shit was normal, even asking him stupid questions about Britney.

And yeah, Superfish, I love you but you LAGGED on this one.

I had NOTHING to do with my comment posting forty-eleven times, I swear. That's annoying, and I'm sorry.

What's sweet is that now he's gonna have to actually work, and he now can't get a job now as her backup dancer because he told her "no males". That's ironic or some shit like that.

First Whitney, now Britney :)

#61 - S'ok - the post stuck "now" in my comment an extra time. I swear.

What a day of sadness - i just am devasted by this news. I just didn't see it coming. Sniff Sniff.

NOT!

K-Fed will be fine. He'll end up with a shit load of her dosh.
Go Brit's - it's time to get back to your sexy old self!

Finally! I still think she's a dumb little bumpkin, but she's obviously smarter than I thought she was 3 hours ago!

@#49, couldnt agree with you more!

Looks like her lawyer is pretty good.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-02-16-divorce-lawyers_x.htm

Found this on teenpeople.com a photo mosaic of brit and k-fed's love affair from start to finish. What I like is on one of the photos ahe says that she didn't think he would go to europe with her since they had first met. Yeah, his name might be earl, but he ain't stupid.

forgot the link duh

http://www.teenpeople.com/teenpeople/gallery/0,22249,1534091,00.shtml?pkw=TPGLTX110706BTND1004

Is nothing sacred anymore?

http://www.celebslam.com

The sad thing is that some people are so excited about this and saying stuff like "OMG Britney's coming back!!!!!". Its a bit too late for that guys, she already has two frigging kids with this loser...

#33:

I know Mexican judo.

Judo know if I gotta knife...

Judo know if I gotta gun...

Besides, didn't she only marry him because she got pregnant?

Earl, the brainless bag of cock phlegm, is probably going to get a million or two out of the divorce settlement, which he will promptly blow through on misguided marketing campaigns to promote his, ahem, music career.

Then he'll just be another homeless bum hitting Paris Hilton up for money at the McDonald's drive through.

Either that, or turning gay tricks in Compton to black guys who want to be able to say they ass-fucked a wigger.

So how is he going to pay child support for his 2 other children with Shar Jackson without Britney's bottomless purse?

He's a deadbeat.

isnt thath the idea
he's now free
to look after his
firstborn

say "priase the lord"

say it agfain
an again

comin close...

K-Fag gets dumped! As Nelson Muntz would say,

HAW HAAAW!

Well, thank God, she's finally answered my prayers. Cuz, really, if truth be told, my whole life has hinged on whether or not Brit dumps Kev.

Whew. Now I can let my kids out of the closet, quit biting my nails in anticipation, stop logging onto Britney's site as #1Fan4Ever!!!! pleading to her to dump that bag of shit, and continue life as normal.

Note the sarcasm for all you dumb fuckers out there.

Hey, BigJim...

want to fondle my titties?

Today is my first wedding anniversary. The husband got me nothing, but Britt came through for me. I'm going to go ahead and assume this divorce is my anniversary present.

God, I am so happy! Goodbye, Earl!!!!

What's a wanna-be nigga got to do in this world to keep a bitch happy?

Who's gonna fuck the pool boy now? Who's gonna help Earl dismantle the meth lab in the back yard? Who's gonna help drop the kids? Did she even think about the important stuff?

damn, you guys sound gorgeous.

LOL...not that it wasn't gonna happen anyway, but nice timing on Brit's part. If this doesn't sink this no-talent clown's "album" than nothing will.

I find it funny that he is trying to get his record played and she leaves him!!!! LOL...there is a god.

#81-I've got your anniversary present: Ken Blackwell is getting his ass handed to him by Ted Strickland in the Ohio race for Governor. It's about fucking time. WOOOHOOOO!!!!!

and not one of you smartass little bitches better tell me to take this shit to a more appropriate site. I have been living in Cincinnati, fucking Republican ground-zero for the past 8 years. I get to be very excited about this tonight with no penalty.

This is awesome. I love Britney. She got her body back (almost) she's dumped Kevin, she's been dressing halfway decent lately. Now she just needs to put a good album together and she could be back as bad as ever.

I find it awesome that so many people think K-Fed somehow turned Britney into a grit.

Oh goody! Kevin can date again.
Kevvveee, I'm here you hot hunk of rapping man.
I would love to feel that huge, gorgeous dick in my ass.
Oooooohhhh yyeeessss! Give it to me big boy.

Sorry Alek.

K-Fed's next career move will be to join the cast of Dancing with the Stars. What a douche.

Cincinnati gets a brain? Britney dumps the Sperminator?? What next, Lindsay Lohan joins the Amish???
At least Guy-Pierre is still the man-whore we all know and love.

Yeah - it's about the vote.
# 90 he would have to work on his dimples to get on there.
Not that I've ever seen the show - but I'm beginning to think it may actually be a bullet-wound - possibly 7-11 related.
Edyta - call me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

let me repeat HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THAT'S IT! NIGGA.......oh sorry, WIGGA, YOU DONE!

get a fucking job mo' fucka

And in other news - how does that drug addled 'Cokie' Roberts still hold down a job ?

#93 Seriously, don't you wish she hadn't waived spousal support?

@91 sexybitch.. You now just the right things to say to a girl. If you were a sexydude I could fall in love with you.

OOOOooooo I want Kevin sooo bad.

#96 I have a strap-on, baby. You're mine until Kevin gets out of court.

YAY!!!! I'm so happy for her!!!

I think the question is... how is K-fuck'up gonna afford to pay child support to Shar Jackson's now?!?!

LOL @ #90
What, no surnames? I was looking forward to seeing Kevin EARL Federline again.
Fed Ex, please crawl into a hole and die.

krisdylee:

Uh, well, okay.

And I hope K. Earl Fetid-Slime enjoys working for a living. I look forward to the day that I see him handing me a Big Mac at the drive-through window.

Then I'll go tell his boss that he spit in it and get him fired.

prideofchucky, hey ass, try blaming it on idiot MTVers rather than trashing religions and countries. Believe me, nobody except Britney's desperate fans think that she's gonna get her shit together.

Oh OH this reminds of that movie with Jennifer Love Tatas , hmmmmmmm... yeah "Can't Hardly Wait" when the asshole gets what's coming to him at the party......lemme see, oh, I remember

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGG!!!

Now she can date a perfectly good white guy like me who isn't racially confused not to mention I'm not remotely a fucking loser like federline.

w00t w00t w00t!

adult-sized underoos --> http://www.funderpants.com

Way to go Britney. This is the smartest thing she has done for her career since she started boning this bag of dirty assholes.

Now, if she can just get the image of a baby on each hip out of the minds of countless men, she may be able to reinstate to her position of damn good jerk off material.

K-FAG!

Ok ffordegroupie, though they prob don't deserve it I'll take back Christian and American but I'm still sticking with White Trash. You'll only take that away my COLD DEAD HANDS, baby!

#55- brillant Mocker, thanx for the chuckle.

Exercising really does clear your mind huh Britney? As soon as she gets her beauty back, she dumps ugly K-Fed. Good choice.

This actually shocks me..but doesn't at the same time. Jesus tap dancing christ..there has to be another reason for the break-up. Maybe it's because his rap career went down the toilet...well..not like it was actually booming.

It still frightens me how long it took her to WAKE UP and realize she was WAY too hot for that guy. Eh. Fuck it. SPEARS 2008!!!!

#109 It's like you're psychic.

Man, what a great day, KFed is out, and the Neo Cons are out numbered in congress. Oh the days!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I didn't read the thread, but did anyone by any chance already say "finally"? 'Cause that's what I was going to say.

Good riddens, K-Fed, good riddens.

No way, no freakin way. Awesome. Stay tuned for husband #3. Any guesses?

Hell YEA. ! About Time She Dumped his Sorry Ass

110, I don't know about psychic..nor do I know about her being hott...but ok, lets go with that.

Her two brain cells floating around her otherwise empty brain were bound to collide sooner or later. What a moment of clarity THAT must have been.
#70, Please tell me you made that link up as a joke and she didn't really say she was 'excited to be sweating again'. Seriously, EXCITED? To be SWEATING?

I gotta just say, I'm sitting here with a bit of insomnia reading all the comments and crying of laughter from most of them. So thank you kids, THANK YOU! God bless us, everyone!

But fuck Perez Hilton.

kfed played her well.

he's gonna get part of her cash and go back to shar jackson!

Looks like Brit went to the Whitney Houston School of Publicity!

There's no makeover in the world that will make me forget how she looked when she went loose.

I've seen the real Brits, I'm not buying the new product.

Even dumping him,she is and will always be white trash.

lol @ K-Fag.

Genius! Kevin was a pawn all along. This is nothing more than a big publicity stunt. Think about it. Now, everyone will be on Britney's side, especially her majority clientel, more than ever. I mean, come on, Kevin releasing an album with a premise of doing drugs, partying, promiscuity, right after a second child, and making a point each and every time the Pap asked about the family to follow up with, "Playing With Fire...October 31..."

This sets Britney up for a HUGE comeback. It is going to be her rebirth. No way could she have achieved the stardom she will have in the coming months without this elaborate scheme! Pure fucking genius.

I have two words for you people:

Rob Camelletti

I agree with you, Alex; I mentioned it was probably a publicity stunt in my previous comment. I hope she doesn't have a comeback, because she sucked shit back then and still does. Yeah, I wonder where Cher's ex is now, still delivering bagels?

#123 - You're partially right. This actually sets Britney up for a huge cumback. Everyone knows a newly single white girl with a fat booty loves her some rampant doggie style. Do you hear me Britney? I'm calling you up so I can hit your popozao like a fucking jackhammer. I can't wait for her first walk of shame photos!!!

Hopefully he'll hook up with Paris Hilton so Britney can pound the fuck out of her, a la Shanna Moakler and Shannen Doherty.

I love how the divorce paper is "fill in the blanks" so even white trash retards can file.

He repulses me. I have to honestly say though I truely thought they were made for each other.

It is beyond my comprehension why she is such a big star to begin with. It's not like she can sing. I really hope she fails at her comeback.

Also...she still has weight to lose and I hate her haircut!

Just got off the hook with an accomplice in Chicago and she stated that Earl's House of Blues performance tonight might be cancelled as well. No elaboration as to why, but I can 99.99% be sure that it is lack of public interest.

As the Tourette's guy would say, Earl is truly, "Out of the shit and into the fuck"

He might as well be a guy living in a $300k condo in Sherman Oaks. That would be getting off easy in my opinion.

I figured that when Brit became pregnant the 2nd time around that she would wait until the babe was born before filing for divorce. Even though she didn't need to because she's a star I think that she wanted both babies to be legitimate. Kevin was just a sperm donor.

Oh, I forgot to add that I hope Britney isn't secretly financing her Earl pawn on the side and that she lets him sweat a little before their inevitable "get-back-together" that will follow her aforementioned rebirth.

Has the world gone mad? What is it this week with the fat has beens losing a LITTLE weight then prancing on stage on national tv -STILL FAT- like they are the hottest thing ever?

This leads to a very important question:

Is she still trailer trash?

I would say yes, but in the same sentence offer my face to her as a seat.

Prediction: The world will now watch Earl as he goes down the dark path of single fatherhood of 4 kids until the path ends in suicide.

Two Bits
Four Bits
Six Bits
A Dollar
All for Earl ending it all
stand up and hollar!

Superfish guy...you are done.
You were late with the one post that you should have been first with. People in the comments were talking about it by 2pm, and you still had nothing up at 6:30pm. This site has been slipping for a long time.
You have had some classic observations in the past, (I will forever refer to Kirsten Dunst as Pebbletooth because of you), but you have become too slow with the posts, and too predictable with your comments, ("And if by [phrase] you mean [some other phrase]..."). Ironically, you have proved yourself too superficial for me to rely upon for my celebrity dirt. It is too bad.

Yess, I hope this is real and they're not back together in a few months. Although, Britney will never be the same. I've seen too many fat photos of her chewing on cheetos.

"Oh babay babay"...what a masterpiece!

I wonder if she found out that he hooked up with Hohan?

As an aside, as if she HAD to request custody. Like he's gonna fight her for custody. Shh...is that Shar I hear laughing hysterically?

Good for BritBrit. You be the single Mom dragging two kids on world tours. Hire live in nannys to work in shifts, hell it'll be cheaper than paying the insurance on the Federarri. As soon as the boobs go back to normal after weaning in a year or so, she'll be hitting the career comeback trail hard.

As for Fed-ex (bonus points to the first one on that!), welcome to obscurity. Good to be home isn't it? Enjoy your $360,000 in one year spousal support. Your $5 mil from the house buyout? Expect Shar to get her hooks in for half, your weasel lawyers in for 30% off the top. You pay tax on that too dontcha? Here's a word you've never used before - Saving. Look it up in the dictionary if you can read. Your "album" will set a record for fastest to the delete bin. Promoters begging to cancel shows or having to give away tickets, and even then only having 25% capacity? Tour - such as it is - soon cancelled. Locks changed at home. 4 kids under 5, no job, no prospects, no place to live, no Amex card. Wow, sucks to be you doesn't it? Personally I blame bad karma from Enzo Ferrari for daring to mess with something with his name on it. May I suggest the first thing on your to-do list be a vasectomy. Then of course the celebrity Bobbit porno tape before disappearing into the ether like last years food poisoning. As my daughter hates the wig-word, you are just another wangster no talent hack. Grow up, get a job, you have jumped the shark, everyone hates you for the parasite you are, be man for your kids. The party is over and you killed the goose that lays golden eggs.

And if nobody else is up for it, I'm all for getting in line for fondling krisdylee's titties. I like titties. Titties are fun.

#138 good point. It makes you wonder why. I mean not too long ago when she whined to Matt Lauer she said how wonderful things were. I really didn't believe her. The nicest thing she said about her husband is "he's simple". If things were so wonderful, why would she get rid of him?

"Playing With Fire" and "Paris" are now being used to extract confessions and concessions from incommunicado Al Qaeda types around the world. Rather than be ridiculed, those two should be honored for having their horrible music help protect Americans, you know, so they don't come get us over here.

K Fed on the next Surreal Life? Paris on the Flava of Love 3? What would Flava Flav nickname her? herps??? Anything is possible... place your bets, folks.

#140 - She left off the "-minded" from "simple."

I knew that interview would come back and bite her in the big ass.

It's bad karma to steal another woman's man. Just ask Britney.

I would add that Shar is probably at home laughing her ass off, but then who's going to pay her child support? Not K-Tard.

Unreal, it took her this long to realize the guy was worthless. He calls himself kfed!!! That should have been the first fucking sign.

Think about the children people! Who are they going to call dumbass now? It's just not fair.........

You just have to wonder if he ever paid Shar child support. He seems to be the typical deadbeat that would try to get out of paying support because he couldn't find work. You know being underrated and all.

#141 Rich baby, You forget that Popozao can be used to force detainees to form a naked pyramid. Thanks for the laughs already darlin, I had a bad night- I hate men.

Good for Britney, yeah whatever, she is just a publicity whore though. She is just trying to further her career. I'm all for kicking K-Fed's droopy drawers but she "LOVED" him so much before and now this.....

All I ask is that someone with balls will "pants" Earl at one of these fucking concerts.

And the Britney fanclub is making me crabby around here. WTF? I mean I liked "I'm a Slave For YOU" but other than that- yuckity yuck.

#144 Tracy, Can I steal your man?

Guy-Pierre- Spare me your nasty faggoty anecdotes.

YEAH BABY! Come home to mama, Britney!

When did she wake up and realize this guy is a complete douche bag?

I would agree with everyone that says it's all for publicity and her big comeback, but I have a hard time believing she's that smart. Maybe whoever is pulling her puppet strings is...

@125 - Cher's ex is a aerial photography pilot now - not as cool as being part of the Hollywood scene, but a much cooler job than the one I have!

@153 Bill Smith? Who gives a fuck........

meh. it won't be an entertaining divorce. he doesn't care, she's only interested in attempting a comeback, neither can think up clever ways to hurt each other. they'll settle on her terms (which will be overly generous to him) and that'll be it. if the sex tapes come out, they might be interesting-horrible to watch over on the discovery channel.

Fed Ex is going to sell the Federrari in order to afford an attorney.

Otherwise he is done. Imagine Brit playing Popozao in front of the judge... She'll get everything from the divorce.

Anyway, I guess the only thing Fed brought to the couple is his toothbrush, the day he moved in with Brit.

Wait, hold the phone. K-Fed is now available??? GOD I've been waiting for this day for so long.

Seriously though, say what you want and I'll laugh because its funny...but I have to argue with anyone who says Britney won't be back. She will be hot again and everyone will forget her cheeto eating days wait and see. That girl knows how to shake her ass.

158- well guess what! Fed is now available for the birthday of your kid. He brings everything, including the cream pies to throw at his face. Kids love it!

#159 It's called an earthquake.

#157 "Imagine Brit playing Popozao in front of the judge... She'll get everything from the divorce." Hilarious! I like it! Nash- love goes out to ya.

159- I agree, Britney will be back on top of the charts in 6 months, a year at most. What producer wouldnt KILL to be attached to Britneys big comeback?

Over at Spank Cheeks, there's a video of K-Fed getting told the news via text messaging.
Under the "POPOZAO! PART II: BLINDSIDED" thread.

http://www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com/

she'll be back. some producer will see her as the biggest challenge out there, and he'll become an instant legend if he brings her back to pop superstardom after all this. there's no need for talent, just total control - personal trainer, heavily produced re-recordings of popular "strong woman" songs, big stage shows, very limited public appearances outside of concerts. the mentally challenged pop fans will eat it up. it'll take 2 years, max.

Okay, now, I don't mean to be a shitty party guest, but Jesus, Superfish....anything else happening today? Hohan on Oprah? She wants to be married by the time she's 30.

The author of an unauthorized story of the Hilton family has hinted that he believes Paris Hilton may be delusional....didja hear that one? (Paris will say whatever comes into her head. She tends to to make up stories and scenarios. I do wonder if she doesn’t live in a fantasy world herself,” Oppenheimer said.)

lots of other things going on.

#166
Paris MAY be delusional? Talk about a firm grasp of the obvious...

Wow, it's about time she did this. It's also about time I did this:

www.youtuberoast.com

Hizzoner: Kevin Earl Federline?
Earl: Yo, wassup nigga
Hizzoner: You'll refer to the bench as 'judge' or 'his honor'
Earl: Yo, my bad, nigga, I mean homie, er, YOhonaaaaah
Hizzoner: So you're asking to keep the Federarri and any and all proceeds from your 'album' sales?
Earl: Yo, for real tho. Bitches ain't shizzle but hoes and tricks, ya heard? I ain't gon' let this Cheeto eatin', non-dick suckin' beeotch take half my sheezy, YOhonaaaaaah! Imma set the world on fire... Oct 31st...
Hizzoner: Mr. Federline, please sit down, that date has already past... where's your attorney?
Earl: Yo dat nigga late, bee... I called dat My Cousin Vinnie wizzop, but that lil mofucka ain't returning my calls, and my bitch ain't lettin' me use no ends for represention... so I decided to represention my sizelf? (does horrible dance move)
Hizzoner: "Represention?" Ms. Spears, are you comfortable with this arrangement? (looks at Brit, who keeps opening her eyes and looking at her fingers, trying to guess how many she just put up) Ms. Spears???
Brit: Sawry yo ahnah, Ah gaht lawst in thawt... I hayed the best ideah for my new sawng... Ahma cawl it, "Earl lawst his Girl then she screwed half the World"...
Earl: That's wiggety wack, yo, my bad I mean YOhonaaaaaah!!
Hizzoner: Mr. Federline, I hear you now want to be called "waterbed Kev", is that so?
Earl: Fo' real my nigga!!!
Brit: (chews gum vigorously, picks nose and flings snot at Earl)
Hizzoner: The court rules in favor of the plaintiff, because the defendant is a stupid blonkey fuck, Ms. Spears, please meet me in chambers...

that was really good

Say what you want (and you have - most of it true and funny), but I would love to slap my dick between those white trash titties and give her a brand new pearl necklace. Dumbass (ex)husband, two kids, dumb as a post, but still fucking hot.

I just hope she doesn't change her mind and go back to the loser. I wouldn't put it past her.

Jade
http://www.celebrity-gossip.net

Being the Superficial is so quick to post new and breaking news, be prepared for the announcement that John F. Kennedy has been assasinated and a plane just hit one of the Twin Towers. I will fill you in as more reports come in.

@ 173: LOL!

jrz- God bless your cold little heart.

Papa:

They'll also be telling us that TCLTC. Is there any news older than that?

Earl is such a tool, he's the kind of guy who would answer his cell phone while taking a dump, and not even put his thumb over the receiver to mask the sound of his diarrhea drum solo.

Rich:

That was pretty fucking brilliant, but I had to quit about half way through because it was too much like reading Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath.

I hate reading fucked up vernacular.

Hey Papa...I just want to know, when is your site going to be ready? Today would have been an excellent day to post witty political bantor and retort! I have opinions damnit.

Yea, Richport..that was awesome.

truly awesome. also brit is hot. kfed is talented. fish is fast.

@Brain Embolism:

thank you. :)

I just want to point at him and laugh.

The Superficial...

"Breaking News After it Happens"

or

"Breaking news after it broke"...

So will Fed-Ex and Bobby Brown join up in the "Kicked to the Curb" tour?

@178- Zanna, I just emailed Stallion about the site. My web designer either died or went to prison, leaving me with hanging. I would love to get it set up, but I don't have time due to my job as a Professional Gentleman of Leisure. It's incredibly time-consuming figuring out how I'm going to waste my day. The hosting is paid for the next few years, and it's not a blog being hosted by another company. It's http://www.papahotnuts.com and I just need a web designer to get things going. Any suggestions?

Jim - It hurt my brain to write it, yo...

Zanna - You'll be pleased to know Rummy is stepping down... I wonder why? I wonder if the headline will read:

Rummy - Straight Flush

Commence the "RichPort, fuck you and your political rants" in 5, 4, 3, 2, ...

#169 Richport- Very good and super funny. You included the required "wiggity wack" and "ya heard" But you forgot his fav "word". Everytime I have the unfortunate luck to see The Wigger on TV he always comes at me with "Word"

He just really sucks- it boggles the mind.

@185: Pay me a good salary and I'll design your site.

And by "pay me a good salary", I mean a lot o' pussy-eatin'.

PrettyBaby - Word, yo. That's that fire... Oct 31st...

I had a fucking hilarious thought, can you imagine what in the hell it was like at home for Britney to ask that Stupid Fucker to do anything. I'm shocked that she could understand all his Wigger Vernacular. She's stupid as a rock of course too, but it's a wonder she hasn't killed him just out of the sheer frustration of trying to get what the fuck he's saying.

Great, Lots of Democraps won here in MN. Time to hold tight on my damn purse strings.

I've heard of depression, but this is the first time I've ever heard of Post-Partum-Enlightenment.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

Rummy is stepping down because the Democrats are going to own his ass for the next two years.

@188 As long as it doesn't cut into your "Italian sausage time" and by "Italian sausage time" I mean, well, you know what the fuck I mean......Get back to sucking............

#188 Holy shit, I had to re-read to see if I posted this. I like it!!!!!!!!!!! Gotta admire a gal who asks for the good stuff.

Damn, Papa! I had opinions on the election and it's impact on the medical device industry and healthcare overall. I like to discuss these things in between flicking my clit.

Oh and I happen to be a webdesigner (well, communication specialist - webdesign falls under the umbrella)...ahem.

Wait Rich..you mean Romney?

#190 and 192

Motherfuckingtittysuckingtwoballedbitch!

I don't care who's in charge in Washington! I'm still a Republi-CAN!

Back to my tax evading ways for four more years.

Pinky- Along with "You had me at Hello", "You complete me", and "You make me want to be a better man" as some classic lines from famous movies, "a lot o' pussy -eatin'" should be #1 on the list of most romantic things ever said. I love you and would treat you like toast and spread my nut-butter on you.

#169 That was SWEET.

The only thing that could make this day any better is a release of that sex tape.

With Fed-Ex using hand puppets.

Nope, doesn't get any better than that.

#198 Damn pinky, I think an old fashioned cock fight could be brewing over you what with Mr. HotNuts and the Super Stallion.

(PrettyBaby makes popcorn.....)

@200- There would be no cock-fight, she has two holes. Three if you count her mouth. Five if you count her ears.

Commish - As I told someone else, carnal relations know no party. That's almost as true as Earl never being invited to another party ever again.

Zanna - You haven't seen the last of Romney. I keep thinking of "Benson", now that the butler is running Mass...

@200 No fighting, bro's before ho's, and if you want to join the mix we can make it a foursome......No bumping meatballs though.......

Commish: I'm not for either side, I'm just stating the facts. Rumsfeld said, FUNK THAT when he saw that he has a Democratic majority to deal with the next two years, that's all.

@204-that's ABSOLUTELY right.

Richport..sorry about the confusion...I have a Mitt Romney and a Rummy to contend with...but not for long...we'll have Duval Patrick in January. Thank Fucking GOD.

I know I haven't seen the last of him. I have a picture of me and Romney on my desk right now....

#203 "bumping meatballs" hmmmm. Oh I get it, ewwwwwww.

Might be fun

LoL @ 207

Ewwww...okay!

Gonna be a long time before I can eat a meatball parm now........very long indeedikee.

Stallion - Bumpng meatballs now replaces 'crossing swords'... you win sir.

"Bumping meatballs" . . . . . .

I'm still saying "motherfucker" all day, but damn, that's some funny fucking shit.

#202, 204 and 205

I did have some investment in the election results. But I play nice with others, regardless of party affiliation. I don't blame Donny for stepping down. Not worth the stress and he has a helluva pension to sit on.

Commish: and let's face it, who the fuck wants to spend their golden years getting nagged by Nancy Pelosi every goddammed day....ya know?

I am trying to think of ways that bumping meatballs can occur. If your not a Guy-Pierre than I can only assume you are talking about the DP. It is verrrry hot in here today.

jrz- I couldn't imagine dealing with her crazy ass every day. At least the fuckers I deal with are nice looking. As I daydream, staring off into the nothingness, I can imagine the new senator without pants. That's right. Starkers.

@211 Motherfucker? Do I say that a lot and now you do or is that not what you meant............

#216

Nah, I've been saying motherfucker every thirty seconds since eight p.m. last night. Been kind of wrapped up in election returns.

I'm also saying "bumping meatballs" because I like the imagery.

Does anyone else find these divorce papers a little suspicious? They dont even inlude Britney's entire name...which most legal documents do.

218... No, they don't put anything on the internet that isn't true

Look what I found!! Thought I'd share :)

-----------------------------------
http://www.britneyspears.com/news-item.php?item=041015

BRITNEY'S LETTER TO FANS: OCTOBER 15, 2004

Dear Fans,

I am going to start writing this column now as often as possible. The reason being is so I can talk directly to you, my fans, who have stuck by me & who continue to support me. Also, I'm not going to be as busy as my Mom. She's running behind my sister like crazy! I am also going to take some time off to enjoy life. I've actually learned to say "NO!" With this newly found freedom, its like people don't know how to act around me. Should we talk to her like we did when she was 16 or like the Icon everyone says she is? My prerogative right now is to just chill & let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment... GOOD LUCK GIRLS!! I'm sorry that my life seemed like it was all over the place the past 2 years, it's probably because IT WAS! I understand now what they mean when they talk about child stars. Going & going & going is all I've ever known since I was 15 years old. It's amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive, young, blonde girl & putting her on the cover of every magazine.

I know now that my knee gave out on me this past summer so that I would have no choice but to stop. My body was shutting down and needed rest. It's funny how the Man upstairs works. Right now, I have to go-- I really want to watch "Saved" with Mandy Moore and re-runs of "Sex and the City." I want to enjoy all of the simple things that I missed over the past few years due to working way too much.

Being married is GREAT and I can't wait to start my family! There is so much change going on right now... not only with me, but in the world, as well. So, the next time you see my face, hear one of my songs or even if I'm the topic of your next conversation, please remember that times are changing & so am I.

Love always, Britney

P.S. I look forward to writing you all again soon. Kevin and I are finally able to take our Honeymoon!!

-----------------------------------

GOOD LUCK BRITNEY!!

OWNED K-Fucker!