October 20, 2006

Tyra Banks is out of her mind

Any sexual attraction I ever had for this woman has very swiftly and surely been crushed. I was half expecting her to start eating the furniture, or go on a quest for tin foil to make a special hat that keeps out mind-reading space rays. I'm surprised at the end she didn't stare into the camera and warn us of the impending invasion of her pod people.

Thanks to Katie for the tip, and for doing that really neat thing she does with her tongue. Mmm, twisty.


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Comments

hahahahaha

first!

I still think Tyra Banks is hot as shit!! I would knock the banks out of her, and the Knowles out of Beyonce..............

I've seen this before. She is afflicted with Mad Cow Disease.

Holy crap... that fool is crazy. Literally. Crazy.

Crazier than a couch-jumping Tom Cruise.

Well she seems to have taken Ellen's dancing routine to a different level. (Not that I've ever seen the show.)
Strange - Not all women get that excited when the vaseline comes out... Well so I've heard.

After the show, all the hot ladies are coming to the stable to see Stallion. She handed out K-Y jelly..............

ahahahahahaha

funniest thing on this website ever. i'll be laughing for days.

In prison the other day, my cell-mate Tyrell and I watched this epidose of Tyra. The next day, he presented me with a box, of which contained a half-used bottle of vaseline with mysterious brown marks all over it. Needless to say, I didn't share the enthusiam of Tyra's audience. He mumbled something about "riding his chocolate cowboy", so I kicked the nigger in his balls and changed the staion to Oprah. Oprah never gives people Vaseline, only cars and books. I figured no one hae ever been raped with a car or book, so I felt more comfortable from that point on.

All she is missing for a remake of Chappelle's Tyrone the Crackhead is the white powder all around her mouth and nose.

And it looks like the audience is scared to quit jumping up and down about their vaseline out of fear that Tyra might go crazy and attack them.

*sigh* I have ALWAYS wanted Vaseline covered in jewels *sob* My hopes and dreams have now been shattered... THANKS TYRA!

I think she looks very pathetic. Is she trying to be like Oprah or something. And a jar of vaseline, not feeling the excitement. Maybe a little more excited if it was the K-Y like Stallion said.

WHAT THE FUCK ???

That was embarrassing to watch.

So this is what someone looks like when they're high on cocaine on national television. She is a train wreck waiting to happen. I give her a year before we find her corpse in an alley behind a CVS.

Well-known fact in the Hollywood community (of which Tyra is not a part of), any extended use of Vaseline as a facial moisturizer will eventually lead to the overgrowth of facial fuzz. It happened to Marilyn Monroe.
This clip is the saddest, sickest thing I have ever seen. What asswipes are actually watching this show? And why does that dimwit think anyone wants to see her blotchy, tired face without makeup? Gross!

She's totally imitating Oprah--it's a joke, a spoof, guys. Although I wonder how Miss O thought of it?

Those poor schmucks are standing there thinking, "I came to the Tyra Banks show and all I got was this crappy jar of Vaseline?"

I use olive oil. Extra virgin.

At least her boobs are big.

http://www.celebslam.com

She is one wack-a-doodle crazy bitch. I'd like to party with her....

She has a show?

Tyra is pretty scary, she can be ridiculously odd sometimes.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com

That might be the first time the words "Tyra Banks" and "mind" have appeared in the same sentence.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

I'm rapidly developing a healthy pathological hatred for this ghetto skank, she represents everything I hate about african-american women in concentrated form.

I just watched that with the sound off (as the sound of Tyra's voice gives me seziures). Bitch is NUTS even on mute! What high-level TV exec is she blowing that's keeping this crap on the air?
Side note: I live in NYC, and when this show first came on there were these subway ads with just a close up of her face. Let's just say it was easier to stare at the crackhead playing with himself than to look at her dead, crazy-ass bug-eyes staring into my soul.

I would like to see the same clip, with her naked. Then when she jumps up and down, she'd knock herself the fuck out with those huge milk chocolate candy bags. That's when I make my move...

I'm nothing if not an opportunist.

Why did all those sad fat heffers act like the just won golden dildos? Idiots...

Hey did anyone get a look at the faggot with the blue polo shirt when she goes up the aisle? , Mutherfucka is lovin' that vaseline, I thought he was gonna start spreading it between his asscheeks right then and there.

when I walk down the beach naked, I often cover my cock with bright glistening little object and I get that same wild reaction from the girls.

I'm assuming that Miss Banks is getting her health and beauty tips from Whitney Houston.

Whatever. She's hilarious!

"huge milk chocolate candy bags".

I almost choked on a Hot Tamale.

Maybe I'm totally missing something here, but to get so excited about a jar of vaseline that you're writhing around on the floor screaming or make air-love to your neighbor seems a little.... unecessary. A Jar 'O' Hot Male SuperModel Splooge maybe, but Vaseline?

For the life of me I can't understand how this people are getting excited by this Vaseline, I mean, it's too sticky, and it is not as effective a lubricant as KY (which you can buy cheaper if you get it by 50 gallon drum BTW).
Maybe I'm not using it right.

I'm baffled

ponie, hopefully not THOSE girls... they actually never even got tickets to the Tyra Skanks Show.. They thought they were there to see Jenny Craig live and in person, and that the miracle cream would help them shed chunks of weight off immediately. Of course the best known weight loss technique for some of those cellutoids involves a hacksaw, some liquor, a stop watch, and a strap of leather to bite down on.

Good grief, this woman has clearly gone off her meds. I am pretty sure I can get her committed as a danger to others.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

You get anal sex, YOU get anal sex, and *YOU* get anal sex!!

dude, that was awesome. and i never thought i would say this, but i think tyra banks is morphing into howard dean. she's even getting those creepy puffy eyes. whatever you do, stay away from vaseline.

So much to say...
She looks like she's been on a meth binge or trying her zombie costume on. She will be giving us some good fish headlines soon... "Tyra Banks goes to rehab/being treated for exhaustion" "Tyra blames manic episode on sleep deprivation" I don't think she's crazy...maybe she's dating Bobby Brown or something.

It's like she's on PCP.

@17 extra virgin olive oil? Really?

her arms are ginormous, naomi is STILL hotter.

omg, that is so awesome.

It's painful. I'd rather take it up the ass w/out the vaseline than watch her totally self destruct.... not that I give a fuck about her but it's uncomfortable to watch!!!

Jesus H. Christ. Is this what murderers feel before they kill?

http://theblemish.com

Women.

@39

Yep. Seymore Butts recommends it on his website. If it's good enough for porn . . .

I'm Italian, so nobody questions why I have vats of olive oil all over the house.

My boyfriend says it's the best lube he's ever used. (btw, I am a chick.)

tyra, what happened? where is the girl that busted out and showed all the skinny white girls how bra and underwear modeling is suppose to be?

ahhh. how the mighty have fallen.

@45 I know it's good for anal, I thought you were giving me a facial tip. I'll be doing much better when I can have a drink.

I'm embarrassed. When I was younger I saw a guy at a party wearing a t-shirt that had 4:20 on the front. I asked him what Bible verse his shirt was referring to. Needless to say I was humiliated. I don't know what I have to do to flush my conservative upbringing.

@48

Use glycerin on your face. Though Italian women have been using olive oil on their face for years.

Oh, Jesus, help me. I'm sounding like Sarah Jean. I won't dispense any more beauty tips.

Love the rhinestones. Vaseline re-imagined by Sir Elton John. It's Tyra's "Eye and Everywhere" cream - did she just fess up to being an Anal Annie on daytime television? I can see why she's perennially getting dumped, can you imagine dealing with that insanity day in and day out.

I think she is trying to make fun of the time Oprah gave all her audience members a car and ran around pointing and screaming "You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!" ....Not funny though.

Tyra, you are seriously wacky

That actually made me feel uncomfortable. Albeit, her near-orgasm was a bit amusing to watch.

It is ironic that Tyra is trying to parody Oprah. Tyra is a parody of a regular person.

It makes me embarassed watching that clip.

a. because I am watching it, and therefore, have fallen prey to the media mastermind of Tyra Banks, and

b. because it's like watching the opening scene of Carrie when all the cool chicks throw tampons at Sissy Spacek. I have internalized the humiliation.

How is she still on television?

The crowd is screaming because they are terrified that she's going to grab one of them and drag them on-stage to be raped and eaten alive.

I know Tyra's a 'breed but what's the mix? Black and Mongoloid?

She's 1/3 moron, 1/3 shallow, 1/3 bitch and 100% idiot.

I'm scared...Is this what vasaline does to you??

Yeah, but you should watch this interview of hers. Probably her best yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGB78yp5O2s

Holy Fuck!
She has got to be hanging out with Whitney Houston.
I'm scared.

omg i saw this episode the first time it was on and WTF was she thinking. And VASOLINE what kind of beauty secret is that. Are you kidding me. Maybe for her skin but not for everyone. Some peoples face if they put vasoline on it, I would be afraid to be near them b/c of all the grease on them. UGH Nasty. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

i havent seen eyes that stoned since the last time i was really stoned and looked in the mirror

@49

What does 4:20 mean?

is she trying to be oprah, or is she making fun of her..very confusing..
you know, with the whole "and you, and you and you".. muchas creppy

# 60 Well Tyra seemed a little bit more with it in that interview.
That interviewee posts here under the name Edna.

@64 According to Wikipedia: In Cannabis culture, the number 420 (pronounced four-twenty) relates to the consumption of cannabis and elements of its associated culture. The exact origin of the term is unknown. Marijuana users gather on April 20 ("4/20" in U.S. dating shorthand) every year to celebrate and consume marijuana. 4:20p.m. (or even a.m.) is also a popular time to consume cannabis.

I forgot the fucking quotes. Please be merciful grammer police.

crack is whack, yo

@67

Ohhhhhh, goody. Twenty five minutes and I'm lightin' up a fatty filled with some good "prop".

I guess, the actress from the Gilmore Girls cancelled that day and she needed to kill time.

Because me & my co-workers just returned from having a liquid lunch, this shit is HILLARIOUS! lmao!!! lmao!!! Yeah, pretty much everything is funny to us right now but we've been watching this clip over & over again. Tyra Winfrey needs to cut it out! Too damn funny....

This clip is also hillarious...drunk or sober...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLa6dzVN_AU

Wow, someone's on uppers. Bitch is gonna come down hardcore after the show.

Good Lord Almighty!!! WTF was that!

I agree...she doing a spoof on when Oprah gave away the cars to her audience. Which has aleady been done on SNL and nearly evey other comedy format since it happened. So I don't know what the hell this crazy bitch is up to! Don't screw with O.W., remember what happened with the Million Little Pieces guy. Has anyone seen him since Oprah busted him? Hmmmm?

Tyra is one scary-azz fuckette!

O.K., who is the crazy bitch that hijacked the Tyra Banks show, and gave the audience anal lube as a gift?

Everyone is an actor now....those with shows, those sitting in the audience of the shows, those cleaning the dressing room toilets of those with shows, and so on.

Those girls were going apeshit for eye cream.

Imagine what they'd do if you gave them something of value: they'd put out for a lifetime.

Welcome back Papa! Hope they weren't too hard on you in the pen.

My cousin just got out of the Tennessee State Penitentiary and he'll never be right. Of course he went in as a crackhead, so he may actually be beteer off than he was five years ago.

Sadly, a very true story.

Welcome back Papa! Hope they weren't too hard on you in the pen.

My cousin just got out of the Tennessee State Penitentiary and he'll never be right. Of course he went in as a crackhead, so he may actually be beteer off than he was five years ago.

Sadly, a very true story.


Wow...

I knew she was crazy even back in the "fresh prince" days. Will was too good for her.

someone call an exorsist! or bring me some holy water! by the power of god i compell you demon!

the aliens are coming!

Papa!! Welcome back!

Uh, do the jars in your vaseline jar collection have purty sparklies on it like the ones that Tyra gave?

That stupid bitch thinks she's so damn funny and she's just not. What a moron. Did anyone see her on the premiere of the latest and lamest America's Next Top Ho-bag? She did the stupid diva act that I'm sure she thought was comic genius and it was just retarded. Somebody please smack her in her ginormous forehead.

She's pulling that overly-familiar shiot. What next - hosting the show in a dew rag? The producers need to remember she got a show cuz she was hot. She's neither interesting or entertaining. She is unrecognizable without make-up. And TALK ABOUT BEATING A DEAD HORSE. No Tyra, it wasn't funny to start with - and flopping your frame on the steps....errrr, what's that about? The audience was terrified.

Why is this happening?

LOL at all the haters who posted.

She has done enough and listened to enough of "what is sexy, and you have to look like this, you have to do that."

Handing our Vaseline makes me think of all the commercials she has done - contradicts what she stood for or "was told what to stand for" as a celeb.

http://www.digital-six.net

What the fuck did i just watch? All that over Vaseline?

was this meant for television,surely it should have been edited out.

i am so ashamed for her.

and confused. is vaseline the same thing in america is it is in the rest of the world?

VASELINE.

my god,shes certifiable.

TYRA BANK is rippin' on OPRAH! I love it!!

I thought this was gonna be one of her CUTE clips from her little show, but making fun of Oprah's loud-mouth-gift-giving CRAP is classic!

The audience is doing the same crap that Oprah's audience does! Mindless screaming over stuff she got for FREE!

Ah, man, it's brought a tear to my eye...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

WTF?? When did Oprah start smokin crack?

wow - she needs to go on a loooooog "vacation".
seriously - someone tell me why she is giving away pimped out jars of vasoline, i really don't get it!

wow - she needs to go on a loooooog "vacation".
seriously - someone tell me why she is giving away pimped out jars of vasoline, i really don't get it!

for the first 2 minutes of the clip, I thought I was watching an SNL skit with Tracy Morgan as Tyra. forget about her being on crack - she's needs makeup. where are her eyebrows?

and is she going bald? or just in bad need of a new wig/weave? wow.

What's the defintion of irony? is it pulling yourself out of bed and going on national television in ur pyjamas while trying to tell people you use vaseline as a skin 'saving' devise while ur skin actually looks like a leather couch. Seriously, she looks hideous... this girl just wants to oprah

#84 I was going to mention that "diva" act on America's Next Top Model. Tyra is too cringeworthy.

The funniest thing is watching the look on the audience's/contestant's faces...forcing themselves to laugh to conceal the horror within...

FYI African American has nothing to do with it...crazy comes in all colors; have you not seen or heard Tom Cruise lately?

Someone lock that bitch up!

Tyra's take...

http://telepicturesblog.warnerbros.com/tyrashow/2006/09/message_from_tyra_whats_up_wit.html

It may have been an Oprah spoof but the bitch is stil crazy like a fox.

1. Oprah spoof-funny as hell
2.Tyra not taking herself so fucking seriously like most robot models...priceless
3.Vaseline is the shit

Ummm..............................What?

ahh truth is, she's just gone all tragically fat and is now trying to cover that shame up with a greater distraction ie. apparent madness.

she needs to lay on the ground and spread her legs more.specifically during a lingerie show.

http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/

she needs to lay on the ground and spread her legs more.specifically during a lingerie show.

http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/

Tyra Banks scares the living crap out of me.
But if she were to ever change - that is, stop being crazy, cracked-out, and tacky - I don't think I would love her as much.

That took balls. Holy shit she's ugly without makeup. It makes me wonder how much cuter I'd be if I finally wore makeup. If it can change that beast into a supermodel, I could be the Helen.

Vaseline's great. And the clogged pores from filling them with petroleum jelly is even greater.

Someone take her crack pipe away already. She's scaring the kids.

If that woman isn't loaded, who is?

it's too bad the superfish doesn't get jokes.

the best oprah car giveaway spoof was SNL when tina fey peed her pants from excitment!

http://www.funderpants.com

I would have thrown that stupid thing of Vaseline at her head and then punched as many of the screaming women as possible before security dragged me out. This is all such a menace to the sisterhood.

m

this reminds me of that scene in ong bak, where the guy gets injected with like 5 syringes full of adrenaline, and he absolutely freaks out in a fit of pure insanity and then dies. it ruled so hard.
except tyra lives at the end ............... great.

Tyra was doing a spoof on Oprah's show when Oprah gave away the cars, it was all a joke and her people had to call Oprah's people beforehand to let her know it was all in fun.

Thankyou Tyra........

I'm perplexed... I couldnt work up that much energy if I was SLATHERED with Vaseline..

Here, in Ukraine we use vaseline for assfucking. Especially gay people use that. I'm not sure why Tyra went with this shit on TV and why is everybody so crazy about it... So my guess' are
1: She likes to be ass fucked.
2: She wants everybody to be ass fucked.
3: She takes coke or heroin.
4: She wants to take Oprah's thunder.
5: Her carreer is over.
6: She is Tom Cruise??

Good god! I dont even have sound and that was disturbing enough! Shes scary looking! You can write the bible on that forehead! FUGLY!

god that was hilarious. cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Too bad I got in here so late. Been scanning the comments...you all don't get it. This isn't something like Paris flashing her cooch or dropping her dog...

...this is an indictment of Western civilization.

The whole damn audience makes me sick. The show, the set, the music, the message, the mindset...

This is why two thirds of the world lives in poverty...slaves away making our dildloes and running shoes for twenty cents an hour. Millions of HUMAN BEINGS, living a life of unhappiness and want, all to keep Tyra and her audience in the state of livng to which they are accustomed.

THIS IS WHY Iraq was invaded and Iran may be invaded. Because the people who own the gold and the guns want the whole world to be like this.

Then one day, they pull the plug on everybody and crash our dollar. The ones running the show will be acting like Tyra...

...in private.

Sweet Jesus! What the hell was that about? And am I mistaken, or did she bling out the vaseline tub? It's like Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tom Cruise had a love child... and Star Jones is their nanny.

Get a sense of humor people. It was actually quite funny. The joke is that the miracle cream is simply vasoline.

how long till we see those gem studded little drug store cans on E-Bay? Seriously, it may be a miracle cream, but the true miracle is that something that can be purchased at the local grocery store will probably fetch big bucks! Really studio audience, run to CVS and get the stuff, sell the one she gave you for all you can!

only black people would consider Vasoline as a beauty aid.

and IF tyra was making fun of Oprah, I hope she'll die one say. that fat zombie of a tranny can only amount to making of somebody.

I totally agree with whoever said in the beginning that she sums up every stereotype of a ghetto black chick.

Well first and foremost let me say this. Al you anorexic B@#$%es need to stop hating on Tyra because nowadays being thick is not only what guys want, but what your guy probably wants. Tyra's shape is fine. She doesn't have to be a 00 to prove a point. If you ask me a 00 is pretty pathetic and shows very poor eating habits. Some people are naturally extroverts (like Tyra)and some aren't. This will explain why she's always so happy, energetic and optimistic. Come on, she's a SAG. Look into astrological signs and you'll clearly get a definition of Tyra 101. SAG's love people, love to be heard, and love SEX. Do some research you low lifes and stop coming down on her because she's a star and she's now worth over a billon dollars. You people get pissed when we excel, clearly, and I suggest you get use to it because us poor ghetto black chicks are writing many of your poor white trash pay checks. LOLOL Last Note: Vaseline is in fact a wonder tool in regards to using it as a beauty aid. Vaseline keeps skin smooth and keeps germs from infiltrating your skin. Why do you think they advertise this for babies all the time? Probably because it does wonders and works even better on adults. Get Educated!

Well she's obviously a beached fish going through its death motions, someone int he audience should've taken heart and impaled her with the support pole off one of the cameras.

I've slept with more than one insane woman. Don't knock it till you've tried it. Except for the biting and gouging of eyes, it's- well, call Tyra up for yourself. Just wait until next week, though. I'm flying out to her place tonight...

I actually was in the audience of this show. And no, we did not go "apeshit" over vaseline. The reaction of the audience was complete disbelief, shock and dismay, but it wasn't necessarily captured on camera. The secret spilled about what was in the box way before we opened it because Tyra's entire "going crazy for petroleum jelly" speech was rolling over and over on the teleprompter and some of us actually paid attention to that. We were prompted by the production staff to go "crazy" for Tyra, almost in the same way a mother prompts her family to go crazy over her semi mentally-retarded child in a school recital. I think a lot of these girls did it because they felt sort of sorry for her. From the beginning of the show we were hyped up saying there were silver boxes underneath our chair, and we were, under no circumstances, supposed to touch them. They told us we would be amazed at what was inside of them. Well, I was definitely amazed. Tyra is no Oprah. And she's got some MEAN assed cankles. I walked away with a bedazzled vaseline, some Shu Uemara something (if that's how you spell it), some Aveda lotion that smells like ass and makes me itch, and a bar of Aveno soap. And a plastic bucket from the 99 cents store (tag and all). OH, and I love it how she goes from valley girl to ghetto girl in .5 seconds. "Today we're going to talk about a serious problem affecting millions of women around the world - undereye circles. N gurrrrrl I'm bout to show you vaseline is for mo' than puttin' under yo' eyes when you scrap with some pigeon!"

I think the spoof was ok, overdone but nowhere near the reaction it's getting from the posts on this site. Unbelievable how hateful and miserable most people are. Anyway - as far as the clip is concerned, I'm indifferent, chuckled 1.5x and dismissed it as quickly as I got to it and watched it. No biggie but what IS shocking are the comments made in response to it. Get a fkg life - all of you honestly.

I think mostly the hateful or obnoxious comments are made out of jealously as with most people who comment about celebrities. Always bitter and discrediting.

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