Oct 16 2006Sheryl Crow performs in her bikini

I....nevermind.

Hey, at least she's not creepy skeletal like she was before.

Yeah... she was cute in "All i Wanna Do" old times... not now.

Must be the chemo...

Who's Jennifer?

And Sheryl Crow is a pirates delight...

I believe I may have just thrown up in my mouth a little, especially after that 3rd pic... (urp)

What a god damned whore

http://www.celebslam.com

John Mayer looks deeply, deeply unhappy in these photos. Also, is he standing on a box in the first picture?

http://glossedover.com

Try as she might, she ended up looking like a fit forty-five year-old soccer mom watching over her four brats at the community pool.

When did dignity become a flaw?

I don't even know what the christ is going on here. I see a bustedup hag of a bitch wearing what seems to be her young niece's bikini, a hairball playing a guitar who looks about as appalled at seeing said hag in a bikini as he would if his mother was on stage wearing the same thing & then some random sumo wrestlers who seem to work part-time at the local "Clucky's" restaurant chain.

WTF???

Dear Sheryl,

You're not Stacy's mom.

Look at the bright side: at least it isn't Aretha Franklin in a bikini.

She should of dressed up as Jessica Simpson. That would have scared him.

[How to dress up as Jessica Simpson:
1) hold neck and head at strange angle
2) hold breasts at strange elevation
3) lobotomy]

did she do some baton twirling, too? Is that a goddammed baton she's holding? Somewhere, Hilary Clinton is in ecstasy!

BigJim - at least if Aretha wore one she'd be well aware of the fact that it was a joke & wouldn't prance around thinking she was hot shit.

The funny thing is, I bet the only thing going through Sheryl Crow's mind was "I can't wait for Lance to see me in this - he doesn't know what he's missing". Cut to Lance Armstrong in a high school cheerleader gang bang as he turns the TV off & thanks baby jesus...

Since when is the right to bare arms been soooo misguided.... Sheryl take note, 2nd amendment meant guns not whatever it is you have going on there....

If I may be the first to say it.....

Her body is not a wonderland.

She's regressing to her slutty cheerleading days, me thinks, having been dumped for Matthew MacConaughey.

i just dont get the point. its like looking at a photo of someone at a party and one of the people are trying to explain whats goin on in the pic and you just dont get it. they usually end up saying...well i guess you had to be there.

#8 that's not a box, those are his guitar pedals

She looks great! Very athletic body.

http://i9.tinypic.com/49a8he1.jpg

Yummy legs!

SFCR - Silicon Free Campaign Ribbon

#22

Ms. Crow is sporting some moose knuckle that pic you linked.

Gad-damnit, after seeing those pics I am afraid I have to agree with Edna.

REPORTED!

I'd hit it, with both barrels...and by barrels I mean testicles.

#18 - You stole my idea dammit! :-p

Oh well. Good thing my sister didn't wanna go to that concert anymore. I may have hung myself from the speaker towers if I did.

http://www.edquartersaudio.com/

Well, at least she didn't do it topless and doesn't have any gross cellulite.

The Schnoz and Goldilocks

I think that is funny. I love people who are not afraid to be silly and goofy. I do not think it demeaning... especially if you have a great body like that.

I think it is cute and we should have more nudity while holding batons. Plus, I have heard it is good for your back to twirl it while wearing a chicken head costume... so power to the people baby!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

#22 & 23, I have to agree - moose knuckles!
John Mayer is the closest thing I've ever seen to a Young Frankenstein. He even beats out John Tesh.
Sheryl, Can you spell desperation?

Some Lyrics from the SMASH HIT "all I wanna do"

_all I wanna do is have some cock
only Barbado, he is the only one...

She could look a whole lot worse.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com

Are they in Germany? Cuz that shit would KILL over there.

Hey, in that last pic, is that the San Diego Chicken?! I didn't know he's a backup singer now! My, how times are a changin'...

Oh, Sheryl Crow, very nice by the way.Kinda like your best friend's Mom-type...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

Nice. Now Lance's other ball just dried-up and fell off.

The only thing that looks bad on Cheryl is her hair. Get a better hairdresser!!!!

John Mayer's face in that first pic... priceless.

she doesnt look bad for someone that had cancer, even tity cancer.

Like I said before it should be illegal to wear a bikini if you don't have at least large C cups.
If you don't look like Pam Anderson don't put a bikini on, with her money she could go see DR.90210 and get a great rack

Camel toe or cock...I can't decide.

Great, just what I wanted to see, a flat chested horse in fucking bikini. Nice...

She looks like your best friend's mom who drinks before school lets out and, rubbing your face and squeezing your arms, tells how handsome you are and how muscular you've become, just before asking what you learned today in the seventh grade.

she knows John likes 'em young, but even the cheerleader look and stuffed animal friends ain't going to make it happen for her.

@12 That was hilarious.......

"Cause Stacy's mom has got it going on"

I hope that was the joke because I laughed really loud at that if it was..........

So embarassing. In a few years she'll be one of those Sassy Older Women, with the sheer tunic/cami underneath, tight jeans (leggings are too thin to adequately conceal Depends), and high-heeled cowboy boots. Still actin like they can lay the hurt on a fella, with the dried-up old snatch and denture breath.

I forgot the belt. Everything must be belted to show the world; "I've still got a waist!"

Hmm, the box look is really in. Run Lance run.
Guess he already knew.

Years back know someone who in fact did hit it.
Remarked that the road had "heavy mileage" end of story.
Yeah, he was not a nice guy.

Is it me or are the chicken and the other dude wearing diapers. And really, just what do a bikini and diapers have to do with a bear suit. Someone's been hitting the crack pipe and it ain't me.

pinky is evil.

And that's a good thing.

Sheryl looks like a loaf of Wonderbread. Guess the cancer scare has her avoiding soaking up the sun. Lying bitch.

#38 bigdog...as a breast enthusiast you will explain your theory immediately, why do you discriminate good sir?

such a train wreck , you can't help but stare

She looks exactly like Heather Mills-McCartney in the second pic, only without the fake leg and the big hooters...

a quote from john mayer's page that i found hilarious :

"So what's Sheryl going to do to get me back? Only time will tell. Here are some possibilities:

*Sheryl on a horse
*Sheryl dressed up in a blonde wig and roller skates licking an ice cream cone
*Sheryl and a band saw
*Sheryl and a wind machine
*Sheryl and the cast of Diff'rent Strokes"

not bad for her age..

She kind of looks like that pornstar Chelsea Zinn only skinnier...

So, these two were on tour together? I just want to know who would actually pay money to go see these two. Are there really people who LIKE John Mayer and Sheryl Crow? I shudder to think. Sitting through all that screeching and crooning must be pure hell on Earth. And then to have to see ole bonebag herself in a bikini? EW! After seeing that, no wonder One-Nut Armstrong dumped her ass for Matthew McConaghey (sp)!

A more useful prank would have been for Sheryl to hit John Mayer upside the head with a two-by-four. It would have saved the rest of us from having to hear "Your Body is a Wonderland" ever again...sometimes I think I might go postal if I hear that godawful song just one..more..time!

Now I have to burn my own eyes out with acid.

Sheeit! Wish I looked like that in a bikini? Now which one is Sheryl Crow? Bwahahaha. Glad to be back, y'all!

I just saw the second picture. JEez, where are her hips?

why yes, italian stallion....indeed i was refering to that catchy song. i see you too enjoy watching TRL. sweet :)

@59 I take it back motherfucker. I don't watch TRL, I've just heard that song before and that was the first thing that came to mind when I read your commment. But if you're gonna be a smartass about it and call me a fag (which is what you're basically doing with your little TRL reference) then you can fuck off. WTF, I try to give someone props for their witty remark and they shit on me. Fuck you NipsyHustle, fuck you.................

P.S. eat a dick......

comment*

whoa, there stallion. first of all the TRL reference is because that is precisely where I first encountered the song. no need to go ballistic. unless i made you so angry that you're ripping off your shirt and flexing your giant, glistening muscles right now. if that's the case, then come on over and punish me daddy.

secondly, i wouldn't shit on you cause i'm not into scat play and i suspect you aren't either. but if you are....eeeewwwww.

finally, considering that i'm a chick who loves giving head, "eat a dick" is more like an invitation than an insult. unless the dick is small, crooked, or uncut. if this is the case, you're being just plain rude :(

so, with that being said......can we kiss and make up?

xxxxx
Nipsy Hustle

Good grief, no wonder Lance didn't want her anymore.

Personally I have never found her very attractive. But this picture just confirms for me why. It would be like fucking a peice of wood with a hole carved into it. Not only would it hurt your penis afterwards but you would have to wonder if you were really fucking a woman or a man who had a sex change with a block of wood from home depot acting ad the vagina.

There is just something irrevocably white trash about Sheryl Crow. She's always reminded me of that crazy tweeker at the laudromat, the one with the stringy ponytail and oversized t-shirt who goes around asking everyone "zat your stuff" while pointing vaguely toward the dryers, and when no one answers, she proceeds to empty a dryer ostensibly so she can use it but really so she can surreptitiously pocket your blue bikini.... All I'm saying is, keep an eye on your boxers, John Mayer.

And TCLTC.

@64 - Well golly there stoplookingatme, with all those big words, it looks like ya gotcher self one of those high flautin city learnin edjumacations? Good fer you.

Define "performed"

#64, HAHA you said tweeker!
Laundromats are scary.
I think Sheryl Crow looks better now than she did a year or two ago. She looks healthier & not so skinny.

@62 NipsyHustle:

My bad, I thought you were being an ass. But now that I know all this about you, my foot is directly in my mouth.......

What I meant to say:

No NipsyHustle, I don't watch TRL, sorry. I think you should stop watching it also, it's not becoming. Speaking of cumming, My dick is not small, crooked, or uncut and blow jobs are excepted. Scat play is fucking nasty! After I take my foot out of my mouth and brush my teeth I would like to kiss and then fuck...........

Once again, my bad.....

Stallion

oh stallion, you are such a charmer. i like how you can be gentle then cruel then gentle all over again. keeps a girl guessing.

i don't faithfully watch TRL. i was channel surfing and saw the video which happened to be during the TRL show. i swear i'm not a TRL junkie.

if you're ever down south in the bible belt, you'll have to stop by for a sample of my hot cross buns. they are to die for.

xxx
nipsy

p.s. i love minty fresh breath :)

What is this horrific trend of women wanting to look like men when they are naked? I mean, she's a woman, for Christ's sake, where are her curves? Why wear a top at all when you have no tits? Demi Moore and Madonna are also built like this and I think it's about as attractive as when my brother runs around in a bikini, except not even that attractive, really. Now that I look at this paragraph, I realize that all those women are 43+ years old, does it have something to do with menopause? Jesus ladies, let yourselves look like chicks and be soft and curvy! Leave the six-pack abs and biceps to the menfolk. Yikes!

I was going to post something funny, but then I saw those rock-hard abs and sobbed that even at her age and in such a stupid juxtaposition, she still looks hotter than me. Christ!

HAS NO ONE NOTICES SHE HAS A BATON? LIKE, IN THE SOUTH, DURING FOOTBALL GAMES, THERE ARE THESE GIRLS WHO AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO CHEER, OR FLIP AROUND, OR PLAY AN INTSTRUMENT OR CARRY A FLAG... THEY JUST TWIRL AROUND THESE BATONS, AND WEAR SKIMPY CLOTHES.

they usually disappear right before graduation, then you see them working at Sonic or wal-mart knocked up with their next young-un.... no one notices the freakin baton? man, what is going on here people? That is really the damned joke. Who are these guys, Oceans 4?

to all you negative b__t nuggets out there you obviously think way to much of yourselves, i seriously doubt you would ever admit that you wish you could have had the same chance with MS. CROW as lance boy did!!! she is looking good no matter where you come from or have been!!!

noooooooooooooo......she's really quite ugly

Cheryl Crow is very hot and sexy

Cheryl Crow is very hot and sexy

Cheryl Crow is very hot and sexy