October 11, 2006
Paris Hilton scares the crap out of dogs
I guess I'd be equally scared if I got within such close range of Paris Hilton too. I've fought grizzlies with my bare hands and swam with man-eating piranhas, but none of that compares to the horror that is Paris Hilton's vagina. When she's not wearing pants I hear flames shoot out and a giant lobster claw occasionally emerges and randomly snaps at things.
More of Paris Hilton scaring the bejesus out of this dog after the jump.
NOTE: This is totally unrelated but it's just as amusing.



Previous Entries
» Madonna did adopt and she's a liar» Paris Hilton dumped Travis Barker
» Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan get frisky on the beach
» Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are afraid of islands
» Nicole Richie spotted with mystery man


Comments
1. Posted by mbarkr on October 11, 2006 10:03 AM
First bitches!... and it's only my second posting.
I'm lonely.
2. Posted by londongal on October 11, 2006 10:06 AM
last pic- that is a pathetic way to hold a dog
3. Posted by saturnswirls on October 11, 2006 10:06 AM
Poor puppy! In the last one she looks like she's going to shake him like a baby! Shaken Puppy Syndrome! She the new cruella DeVille!
4. Posted by jrzmommy on October 11, 2006 10:08 AM
I'd like to see her handle a Pit Bull like that, only instead of squirming away from her in fear the animal bites down one her face and gets lockjaw while it frantically claws away at her googlie eye.
5. Posted by BigJim on October 11, 2006 10:09 AM
Dogs have a highly acute sense of smell, which is why the poor mutt looks like a cheerleader about to be axe-murdered in a Friday the 13th movie.
Oh, the horror!
Seriously, that bitches cooter must smell like the entire Chinese Army took a dump in it, then jerked off in it, then set it on fire.
6. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 11, 2006 10:09 AM
Wait, which one is the dog again?
7. Posted by Malphesto on October 11, 2006 10:10 AM
Paris, wow, shes on this site 50% of the time without her what would the world be like, oh yeah now i remeber...it was a happier time and a much better place
8. Posted by BigJim on October 11, 2006 10:11 AM
Fucked up my possessive: "bitch's"
9. Posted by RichPort on October 11, 2006 10:13 AM
That dog represents the horrified look on any penis within 100 feet of Porous.
10. Posted by commissioner on October 11, 2006 10:15 AM
jrz wrote "googlie".
11. Posted by commissioner on October 11, 2006 10:16 AM
It's the glasses. Ugly dog thinks she's a killer bee.
12. Posted by jrzmommy on October 11, 2006 10:18 AM
hee hee googlie
13. Posted by DancingQueen on October 11, 2006 10:20 AM
Oh my God, they have the same eyes!!!! Separated at birth.
14. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 11, 2006 10:20 AM
I guess there were three posts featuring Nicole 'Skeletor" Richie yesterday...
Why not FUCKING three of the Parisite today.
Dig deeper in to the news bin Mr (or Ms) Superfish.
Superfish and Paris sittin' in a tree...
F-U-C-K-I-N-G...
That's all I've got.
15. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 11, 2006 10:21 AM
Poor little guy. He can lick his nuts for a month and he still won't be able to get the smell of Paris off of them.
Is it just me, or is she trying to fuck him in that last pic? Dog fucker!!
TCLTGooglie
16. Posted by RichPort on October 11, 2006 10:22 AM
After its starring role in Men In Black, this dog sure has had a serious fall from grace.
17. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 11, 2006 10:22 AM
Are dogs immune to herpes?
http://www.celebslam.com
18. Posted by commissioner on October 11, 2006 10:27 AM
Poor Paris can't even get love from a dog.
19. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 11, 2006 10:36 AM
I've got it!
Paris and Superfish sittin' in a tree..
F-U-C-K-I-N-G..
First comes crabs..
Then comes herpes..
Then comes Superfish pushing up daisies.
20. Posted by caljenna on October 11, 2006 10:44 AM
Ok, on the one hand, I have a pug and they do NOT like to be held up high for some reason, that might be why the dog looks that way. On the other hand, put the damn dog down, bitch!
21. Posted by jrzmommy on October 11, 2006 10:48 AM
She's squeezing it so hard it's eyes are going all googlie!
22. Posted by InstantAsshat-AddFame on October 11, 2006 10:50 AM
Two bitches in one picture.
Poor pug. Someone get that dog a Valium and a penicillin shot, STAT!
23. Posted by Ruby on October 11, 2006 10:52 AM
@16 LOL! It's Frank the Dog in the nude.
24. Posted by Ruby on October 11, 2006 10:53 AM
with googlie eyes!
25. Posted by no one you know on October 11, 2006 10:57 AM
pug and a fug.
26. Posted by RichPort on October 11, 2006 11:02 AM
Six words: Give Elton John his glasses back
27. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 11, 2006 11:16 AM
Word gets around in the dog world. The pug heard how she treated her chihuahua. They all fear her.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
28. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 11, 2006 11:16 AM
Here's another picture of Paris dressed up....
29. Posted by RichPort on October 11, 2006 11:26 AM
Stallion - I can't see that pic. I knew my browser was vigilant against viruses, I just didn't know that included The Herp.
(Thank you, I'm bowing at yet another gratuitous herpes joke... no stop, stop, you all are too kind, thank you...)
30. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 11, 2006 11:27 AM
****BREAKING NEWS****
Fuck this no talent bitch!
WHAM IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!!
Here's the info: http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
The gays Scooped you, Fish, you lazy fuck!
31. Posted by pinky_nip on October 11, 2006 11:37 AM
No shit, Paris scares all.
When she walks into a drug store, even the Massengills and Tampax run and hide.
32. Posted by ponk on October 11, 2006 11:41 AM
poor dog knows he's about to go up the kinkajou-orafice.
hey fish, how about an update on Runaway Bride - Jennifer Wilborn ($500k and a ladder?! returning to the mothership?)
33. Posted by PunjabPete on October 11, 2006 11:59 AM
Paris is just pissed off that the dogs eyes are so straight....
Cockeyed beatch...
34. Posted by Shaun on October 11, 2006 12:01 PM
Both are dogs. Imagine that.
http://www.digital-six.net
35. Posted by yardgraffiti on October 11, 2006 12:15 PM
no love from every living creature in the world.
36. Posted by MultipleSpaceys on October 11, 2006 12:31 PM
It amuses me sadly to observe that she is loaded with money (besides STDs) and yet she loads herself with cheap plastic. At least spend it on some good plastic and get that wonky eye fixed.
37. Posted by biatcho on October 11, 2006 12:33 PM
This is what the poor dog looked like after she was done rubbing him down with vagina juice:
http://www.huhny.de/media/upload/ugly-dog.jpg
38. Posted by HollyJ on October 11, 2006 1:09 PM
What a stupid bitch! Put down the dog you puss-filled blister! She's such an ignorant assclown that she doesn't even know dogs don't like to be suspended in mid-air, imbalanced, and dangling by the front legs! Fucking asshole!! (Yeah, what 20 said!!)
There should be an International Assclown Law (IAL) that keeps Paris, specifically, from owning other living things. Even cacti. Seriously. UP WITH IAL
The dog has severe bilateral exotrophism, which is the result of really bad breeding. You aren't supposed to see hardly any sclera on these guys. You can see it all the way around the iris on this little guy, and it's not just fear of herpes, people! That breeder needs to be euthanized before it makes more of these badly inbred little buggers. Poor little guy =( Where did she get it? A puppy mill in Eastern Europe? Fuck’s sake ..Idiot's breeding dogs with vision problems.
I hate that any ignorant moron can breed dogs, and any disease-laden whorebag can own one.
This is what it's SUPPOSED to look like: http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-2432.html
PS LOL @ 25 !
39. Posted by pursang on October 11, 2006 1:14 PM
In that second picture it looks like the pup is trying to reach up there and scratch open her carotid(sp) artery. Thankfully his little paw wouldn't reach or else he'd be drenched in blood swimming with
super-herpes. Granted the little guy would get a medal for saving the world from Paris Hilton but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy (or Nichole Ritchie for that matter).
40. Posted by pursang on October 11, 2006 1:18 PM
It just hit me...she learned to hold a dog by looking at pictures of Britney Spears holding the infant beachball Sean Preston. I just knew I saw that technique somewhere but obviously Herpes missed the photo's where you almost drop the little shit on his head.
41. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on October 11, 2006 1:19 PM
That dog looks like Jack Elam at a rectal exam. The real reason why Paris loves animals so much is they don't threaten to sue after she gives them herpes.
42. Posted by commissioner on October 11, 2006 1:34 PM
#37
EVERYTIME I see that picture on my super-humongo monitor, I jump. Holy monkey! That is one ugly mother-lovin' animal.
43. Posted by LilRach on October 11, 2006 1:35 PM
Poor bloody dog! Notice how she just keeps smiling totally oblivious that the dog hates her even though it's probably scratching the shit out of her!
What the hell ever happened to Tinkerbell? That dog had more class than she does.
Oh yeah and nice sunnies.
44. Posted by CCClub on October 11, 2006 1:37 PM
AHHH this bitch makes me itch! She's giving me fleas!
45. Posted by Ruby on October 11, 2006 1:44 PM
@41 - Unwashed - LMFAO!!
46. Posted by bigponie on October 11, 2006 1:56 PM
so this is what a dog fight looks like, so the question is how do you bet on the stronger dog?
47. Posted by frenchtoaststix on October 11, 2006 2:12 PM
#41 Unwashed, you've made me dribble coffee on my keyboard AGAIN. "Jack Elam at a rectal exam." Classic. I was thinking Marty Feldman but Elam's better...
I loathe people who carry around small dogs into places like stores, post offices, restaurants, etc.; do you see where I'm going with this? Dogs belong three places a) at home; b) at the vet's office; c) in a daisy-filled fenced-in grassy safe place where they can romp and play (but not yip-yap, 'cause that's annoying).
48. Posted by sonya on October 11, 2006 2:38 PM
Is this like that scene in MIB where Will Smith thinks the freaky fug dog handler is the alien, but it's actually the dog?
Except in this case, Paris would actually be the alien.
49. Posted by ponk on October 11, 2006 2:44 PM
LMAO @ "Jack Elam at a rectal exam"
50. Posted by redsoxrule on October 11, 2006 3:07 PM
hey cory, you see anything coming up ahead of us?
51. Posted by theblemish.com on October 11, 2006 3:18 PM
I wonder what the pug would say if he could talk.
http://theblemish.com
52. Posted by Madrid Marriott on October 11, 2006 3:39 PM
50 - You're a real class act. (Douchebag).
53. Posted by Jessica_Ellis on October 11, 2006 3:42 PM
I'm sexier than all you stupid fucks. leave the bitch alone
54. Posted by Dory on October 11, 2006 3:50 PM
Poor poor doggy
55. Posted by biatcho on October 11, 2006 3:53 PM
#53 - I just read your little "about me" bio and I don't know why I did because I knew what you were like based on your retarded ass comment. You're just like the other lame, predictable "angry" teenagers that infest this place. "I go to sleep to get away from reality" or whatever the fuck you said... you're a goddamned reject of society who should be put to sleep for good by lethal injection.
56. Posted by LilRach on October 11, 2006 4:04 PM
#55 - totally agree. I also did the stupid thing of clicking on her link.
Jessica-Ellis - your a fucking idiot - you also say you hate most people yet you are defending Paris Hilton - go figure.
Oh yeah and i totally believe you are "sexier than all you stupid fucks" with your red & black hair and your vampire loving - FREAK!
57. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 11, 2006 4:09 PM
#53 Jessica Ellis
Go home and tell your mother she wants you.
58. Posted by The Juice on October 11, 2006 4:25 PM
OK... I used to find this site amusing. But it's just the same old fucking crap every fucking day. Superficial you're getting just as old and stank as Paris. So I guess you're ripe for a google trakeover now.
59. Posted by RichPort on October 11, 2006 4:59 PM
Pugs, drugs, what the fuck else is she gonna put in her bag? Slugs? Bugs? Wait, those are in her pants... my bad.
RIP Cory Lidle.. I'm buying a T Shirt that says "The Red Sox love golfing in October".
60. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 11, 2006 5:15 PM
@53 That's a good way to get people to look at your site. I however did not look at your bullshit. I'm sure you're as sexy as Rosanne Barr in a thong. Except I bet your dicks bigger.......
This site needs some kind of security against stupid fucks like this Jessica Ellis bitch. You happy now cunt, we responded to your stupid comment, now go play hopscotch in a busy street.............
61. Posted by Holy Candy on October 11, 2006 5:39 PM
I'd be scared of those sunglasses, too!
62. Posted by Amy3000 on October 11, 2006 6:01 PM
@ number 51 'theblemish'
If the Dog could talk it would probably say something along the lines of "Why are you just standing there?, you have the power to stop this..."
63. Posted by desiree on October 11, 2006 7:56 PM
im sorry but that's the funniest thing ive seen in a long time....i actually laughed. and its that weirdo laugh you have when youre home by yourself and realized your laughing...you know the one.
and the otter. weird laugh too.
congrats,
perez never makes me have the weird laugh but you did.
wheeeeeeeeeee
64. Posted by kristaldmix on October 11, 2006 9:01 PM
@50 - cocksucker. RIP cory.
65. Posted by kristaldmix on October 11, 2006 9:02 PM
@50 - cocksucker. RIP cory.
66. Posted by DrunkBlogger on October 11, 2006 9:43 PM
I think it's about time we search for "The Next Paris Hilton." It can be a reality show. It will be cool because it will make our country even more screwed up. Well, at least the idiot part of our country.
67. Posted by redsoxrule on October 11, 2006 9:50 PM
one last pitch that desperately needed to curve, but didn't. hahahaha
68. Posted by Grope For Luna on October 12, 2006 5:11 AM
Jessica looks like the Hamburgler.
http://pics2.vampirefreaks.com/x/xS/xSl/xSlavexToxThexGrindx/13156665.jpg
69. Posted by jrzmommy on October 12, 2006 6:03 AM
Maybe Jessica Ellis should get the Sarah Jean treatment?
70. Posted by RichPort on October 12, 2006 6:47 AM
Someone is looking for a rise. I cannot possibly believe that Morticia (Jessica Emo Ellis) is posting her own blog link here. Maybe it's Paris trying to divert our attention from her trainwreck of a life... yea that's it.
71. Posted by commissioner on October 12, 2006 8:53 AM
"Go home and tell your mother she wants you". Ohhhhhhhhhh, hell. I'm gonna giggle about that all day.
Little Jessica tries too hard to be significant and "random"; she looks like every other kid who buys their shit at Hot Topic.
Got news for her, looking like that is a one way ticket to living in your parent's basement until they kick it and you can move back upstairs.
72. Posted by Wampoon.com on October 12, 2006 9:46 AM
HAHA I love the eyes.
http://wampoon.com
73. Posted by mamasita on October 12, 2006 12:16 PM
That poor puggie! #38 is defintely right on the ball... My pug looks nothing like that little monster...Oh and that Paris too.
Here's my Abbey:
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/3185/996811126032577eb2.jpg
74. Posted by stevob2006 on October 12, 2006 1:50 PM
http://pic.piczo.com/img/i124350949_47137.jpg
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
PARIS HILTON IS OFFICIALLY MORE SCARY THAN BIG DOGS
75. Posted by jazzmine on October 12, 2006 4:48 PM
She always has that creepy smile.
And she's about to break that pug's arms off. :(
76. Posted by HollyJ on October 12, 2006 9:03 PM
@73 - Mamasita - Your Abbey is CUTE AS HELL!!! How cute is SHE?!?! Beautiful!! Those dogs have so much personality...
77. Posted by Sayona on October 12, 2006 10:54 PM
poor dog trying to escape with his life.
If only the numerous other men in her life were able to do the same...
She frightens me.
78. Posted by Sayona on October 12, 2006 10:54 PM
poor dog trying to escape with his life.
If only the numerous other men in her life were able to do the same...
She frightens me.
79. Posted by Sayona on October 12, 2006 10:54 PM
poor dog trying to escape with his life.
If only the numerous other men in her life were able to do the same...
She frightens me.
80. Posted by Sayona on October 12, 2006 10:55 PM
ok I hit post once, but it showed three times.....
81. Posted by wtflalalala on October 13, 2006 1:21 AM
poor dog, poor poor doggie
82. Posted by agnesw.com on October 15, 2006 7:50 PM
Obviously her pug don't like her at all...
83. Posted by LaydeeBug on October 16, 2006 4:54 PM
Are we STILL talking about Paris Filthton? And WHAT is with the hideous shades?
84. Posted by bobbiedigital on October 19, 2006 8:24 AM
whats with all this paris bashhing, id still do her, the helll with the conseqwuences, yes i know im derunk but i dont care.
85. Posted by Canman on October 19, 2006 9:38 AM
I have collected a huge amount of Paris Hilton pictures:
http://parishilton.celebscentral.net