Oct 9 2006Paris Hilton confuses the eyes
There's not a single part of Paris Hilton's outfit here that makes sense. And the shoes. My God, the shoes. I don't even know if you're supposed to call them shoes because it looks like she pushed over some crippled kid and stole his leg braces. And I wouldn't recommend staring at them for too long for fear you might lose your grip on reality. I was trying to figure them out for like 5 minutes and now I hear scratches coming from the attic and I think my lamp just said "Good morning" to me.
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Reader Comments
1. RichPort - October 9, 2006 8:20 AM
Taking fashion advice from Posh and Aaron Carter usually results in a fucking mess.
2. Brain Embolism - October 9, 2006 8:23 AM
She's being followed by a moon-shadow... moon-shadow, moon-shadow.
3. Zeebrat - October 9, 2006 8:24 AM
Is it just me, or does she look like Aaron Carter... with bigger shoulders.
4. CelebSlam.com - October 9, 2006 8:25 AM
Those things look like ski-boots
http://www.celebslam.com
5. Italian Stallion - October 9, 2006 8:25 AM
Paris Gump: Momma always says there's an awful lot you could tell about a person by their shoes. Where they're going. Where they've been. I've worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real hard I could remember my first pair of shoes.
My momma said my back's crooked like a question mark. These are going to make me as straight as an arrow. They're my magic shoes.....................
6. cocobongo - October 9, 2006 8:28 AM
apparently shanna moakler's punch did more damage than initially thought...
7. slantingthroughdarkness - October 9, 2006 8:29 AM
I think Paris has plain quit trying.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
8. iburl - October 9, 2006 8:30 AM
Pantaloons, 1970's painter's goggles, hideously printed wife beater, Ché hat, Jai Lai Boots. Satan is a hard bargainer.
9. HeyItsJeanine - October 9, 2006 8:30 AM
Come on guys, we all know once you're this rich...I mean, its just inevitable...you're gonna have to spring for the 100% pure Penguin kicks. I myself, choose to rock pink baby seal...but ya know, every rich fuck is different. We're like snowflakes really. Now if youll excuse me, I have to make some pants using the lining of my guitar case...
10. technicalfoul - October 9, 2006 8:34 AM
Oompa loompa doompa dee doo.
I've got another puzzle for you......
11. Tai! - October 9, 2006 8:37 AM
wow
that is a man in everyway.
Paris hilton is no looker.
but if that is her.
she is lucky she has money
because.
thoseare the shoulders of a linebacker
she wears a size 11 shoe,[ALL her shoes are custom made]
nose that looks broken,
awkward neck,
and no tits.
fuckly
fucking lucky.
12. Tha-Flash - October 9, 2006 8:40 AM
Fake. It's not her. Doesn't even look ilke her.
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13. ApacheRose - October 9, 2006 8:44 AM
@12- You have WAY too much time on your hands.
Personally, I don't care if it's Paris or not. Fugly is fugly- your average insane homeless man dresses better than that. That someone, ANYONE, would voluntarily be seen in that outfit is just awesome.
14. Karen Rani - October 9, 2006 8:47 AM
That doesn't even look like her. If it is, where's her people? Her people should be around to dress her, and pick her jaw up off the floor. Close yer mouth honey, yer attractin' dem dere flies again!
15. HolisticWisdomcom - October 9, 2006 8:56 AM
Okay, let me explain. See, I bet her that she couldn't act like a caring, decent person. She lost.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
16. Brain Embolism - October 9, 2006 8:58 AM
She looks like Kid Rock, only more manly.
Hi Apache!
17. commissioner - October 9, 2006 9:03 AM
Those duds came from Carrot Top's bathroom floor.
She should have looked harder for her own clothes.
18. Adult Underoos - October 9, 2006 9:04 AM
can we please get the CSI guy to punch her in the gut too? pretty please?
hippo underpants --> http://www.funderpants.com
19. PJ in PA - October 9, 2006 9:08 AM
So when my sister let's my nephew get his way and pick out his own clothes, this is pretty much the outfit he goes with. Either Paris Hilton has the fashion sense of a 3 year old boy or my nephew will be a future stylist to the stars.
20. PJ in PA - October 9, 2006 9:13 AM
On the few occassions my sister let's my nephew pick out his clothes for the day, this is pretty much the ensemble he comes up with.
Which means either Paris Hilton has the fashion sense of a three year old boy or my nephew is destined to become a sylist to the stars.
21. ImmaAssClown - October 9, 2006 9:17 AM
Oh c'mon people... she is banging Travis Barker now. This is her attempt to fit in with his "punk" friends.
Attempt failed.
22. IHatePhiladelphia - October 9, 2006 9:18 AM
#20 PJ in PA- So what your really saying is your three year old nephew is destined to be a butt-fucked homosexual?
They're the worst kind.
23. I Fucked Your Honor Student - October 9, 2006 9:24 AM
#19, #20
Two comments saying the same thing and either way you said it, it still sucked.
I can't wait until your nephew is an honor student!
24. biatcho - October 9, 2006 9:26 AM
Oh great, now you're making fun of crippled kids, Mr. Fish. Be prepared for more bleeding heart liberals to attack you about that! I can understand making fun of rape but crippled kids... sheesh!
25. jrzmommy - October 9, 2006 9:41 AM
She's trying out for the re-make of "Heidi"....Starring Paris Hilton as Clara.
26. llllllllll - October 9, 2006 9:43 AM
Well, the chest area looks like Paris' alright and this person definatly have the jaw thing going but the tippy toe bow legs look is really killing me here.
27. llllllllll - October 9, 2006 9:47 AM
grrr I get sooo FRUSTRATED when I post and then realise there are errors!!!!! why do I always forget to proof read before posting!!!!!!!!!
28. combustion8 - October 9, 2006 9:49 AM
anything to take away from her ugly chicken face.
29. biatcho - October 9, 2006 9:55 AM
what's up with the David Cassidy circa Partridge Family hair?
30. Binky - October 9, 2006 10:09 AM
That's Axl Rose.
And judging from his arms -it looks like he's started working out.
31. Wampoon.com - October 9, 2006 10:32 AM
Gangsta! Are those boxing shoes? Daayam I want me a pur of those.
http://wampoon.com
32. ChevelleOnDubs - October 9, 2006 10:52 AM
Unless Paris had Aaron's legs and arms attached to her torso, this is totally photoshopped. Come on people, we have enough to make fun of without imagining her as a mutant.
33. klm123 - October 9, 2006 11:24 AM
that's a dude.
34. ElatedPornStar - October 9, 2006 11:27 AM
Wow, what a cunt.
There, I've thrown in my two cents. Oh well, back to porn.
35. jrzmommy - October 9, 2006 11:37 AM
she sudddenly looks very buff.
36. edb87 - October 9, 2006 11:45 AM
I don't know whether to punch her or go skiing with her. I've got it! Punch her WHILE skiing! I'm genius!
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
37. Brain Embolism - October 9, 2006 12:47 PM
@29 biatcho - I remember Keith Partridges hair. It was parted in the middle and rose up about three inches, then it feathered down to his shoulders.
I so wanted my hair like that, but alas, alls I ever got was a crew-cut.
38. ValeWolf - October 9, 2006 12:47 PM
#5 - LOL.
You guys are losers. Didn't you know that the Timmy look is the new vintage? DUH!
39. biatcho - October 9, 2006 1:42 PM
#37 - I so wanted Keith Partridge's head buried in my crotch when I was 6, but alas, I settled for Ricky Schroeder instead.
40. apriluofa - October 9, 2006 2:01 PM
They look like boxing shoes. Maybe she's getting ready for the next woman that feels like punching her... It has to be something she comes across often.
41. whackjob - October 9, 2006 2:32 PM
For the benefit of you poor fashion-challenged cretins: surely you must know this was what Paris saw at the D & G show last week and just had to have.
No wait, she was stoned on cheap, bad weed and thought that's what she saw. No wait, she's a dumb tard with Carter DNA working it's way through her. Personally, I hope the herpes fight a valiant effort against the dreaded Carterflavins and ooze the detritus out her vulvaic pores.
42. Mandi Rewis - October 9, 2006 5:52 PM
No.... fucking.... way.....
43. jenigirl103 - October 9, 2006 6:51 PM
Channeling Travis Barker...Travis Barker can you hear me????
It looks as if she tied him up and stole his clothes.
44. ER - October 9, 2006 7:30 PM
Oh wow, this outfit is a complete fashion travesty!
45. trey - October 9, 2006 10:10 PM
Those are LAMB Love Boots actually.
http://www.lambshoes.com/cgi-bin/lamb/store/product_detail.html?id=LMswEVn3&mv_arg=x&pid=9470:104
Yours for the low cost of $200.
46. James - October 10, 2006 2:32 AM
Every single picture we see of Paris has that freaking SLR in the background. Staged maybe?
47. Rattlesnake - October 10, 2006 6:38 AM
It looks to me like one of two things happened here:
1. She had an 80's "Nostalgia weekend" and watched old WWF videos. She's obviously trying to dress like Koko B. Ware. She did an amazing job.
2. She lost some type of bet with Stevie Wonder in which he, being the winner of said bet, was allowed to pick out what she wore for the day.
...OR....my personal favorite, she's just too fucking stupid to know any better. There aren't enough brain cells up there for her to talk on her cell phone and get dressed at the same time. Obvious we know which one won out. What an oxygen thief...
48. peanutbuttercrotch - October 10, 2006 10:41 AM
That's not Paris Hilton, It's a man, baby...*tries to take off the assumed wig and fails* Oops!
49. BoognishRising - October 10, 2006 11:21 AM
She has hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she has an Adam's apple as big as her balls.
50. LaydeeBug - October 16, 2006 5:02 PM
Cool shoes!
51. HollywoodSnark - April 5, 2007 10:12 AM
yeah, well, maybe her crazy eye acts up when she's checking herself in the mirror