Oct 19 2006Nicky Hilton enjoys standing next to penises

First!!!

What the fuck?!?!?
Is all I gotta say

Nicky may like standing next to them, but Paris likes inserting them into every possible orifice as often as possible.

I enjoy standing next to penises. What's wrong with that?

That guy does have old man balls. Must be very hot there.

Oh, HELLO.

I gives a good GODDAMN about the Hotel of Fingerpainting Messes or whatever, just send the guy on the far right to MY room: 6969.

Kthnx.

People in Miami are certainly FREE with their bodies.

*cares not about the Hiltons*

Dude in the last pic with his schlong hanging out should put his pants back on. Either that or I better get my magnifying glass.

Is that a tail hanging out the top of her ass?

Ballsy "business plan"!

The guy on the right apologized for having such a small dick. He said he took a Viagra before the photoshoot, but it got stuck in his throat. He didn't come to anymore photoshoot's after that, he was compaining about a stiff neck..........

what the fuck are they doing on the roof?

is that a life saver in the papi guy's mouth in pic 2? or some weird giant tongue ring?

TCLTC!

I guess NHLTC, too!

I would never show my face if my nuts hung lower that my weiner. It looks as if someone has just stitched them on. There hanging by a thread.

sorry, I before e except after c?

I'm confused, why is she dressed and everyone around her is naked? Please explain someone. Am I just not getting it?

Nice vagina, dude.

#12 quote: I would never show my face if my nuts hung lower that my weiner.

Very true. Although, having a large penis is not all it is cracked up to be. Not fun at all when all you get is, "I'm can't put THAT in me!" And, here, you have gone through all the trouble/money/bullshit parent visits to build a relationship with her and finally get her in bed. Truly sucks. Trust me.

Nicky and Paris have way too much freakin money and way too much time on their hands.

You people FUNNY. I'm laughing hysterically. Moreover, thanks to many of you for the clarification - I am a nun but I THOUGHT them balls were hanging pretty low.

She's trying...Give her that. Paris does nothing. Lets at least Nicky kudos for that.

Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder, like a Continental soldier, do your balls hang looowwwww.....

Oh my!! My heavens!
Aleq, we just have to stay at this hotel.

Look at all those beautiful men with their penis' exposed.

Ooooooooooohhhhhh! I feeling a little light-headed... yet I'm erect.
Thank you Mr Superficial man. You truly are a decent human being. If you ever decide to come over to our side, feel free to check out my site. That goes for everybody.
Free Chardonnay for everyone.

does your cock hang high, can you slap it on your thigh...

Bumper Sticker Girl has got one kickin' frame.

That dudes cock and balls look EXACTLY like the cartoon dog Mr. Peabody!

So the best she can do to get anyone to put their dick next to her is to pay a bunch of gay guys to promote her ho-tel?

That guy in pic #4 must have one disappointed boyfriend. I guess dick steroids are in order...

I am so happy not to have balls. Especially saggy ones.

I feel sorry for that one guy, he ain't packing much heat!

I can see why he works out so much, he has to make up for being so small!

another reminder that the movie zoolander nailed the modeling profession? on the head.
they really are vacant idiots, male & female.

Well, who doesn't like standing next to a penis? They rock! Yay for a penis!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

If your pants are loose
and your boots are tight,
you're balls will swing from left to right.

Guy on the right: "I WAS IN THE POOL!!!"

Some are grower's and some are shower's.

I see Captain Saggy Nuts made it there just in time.

Just reminds me of what I'm not getting anymore. Even if it is small, doesn't matter on the size only matters how you use it.....

I think there should be more full frontal male nudity in advertising. No problem with the little penis because they can just photoshop him a bigger one and airbrush over any other non-gorgeous parts like they do in 100% of all other adverstising.

Time for guys to be continually bombarded with totally unattainable examples of male beauty. Equality in advertising and all that!

To the blonde with tattoo---FUCKING EAT!

i just caught up on all the Sarah Jones thing. she is a housewife with no children? what the hell does she do all day that lazy bitch?

ill tell you what she does. google "delectual" and you will see that she spends her entire day on the internet writing reviews, blogging, and generally being a waste of space.

sorry i know i am like way behind on this but i had to comment on the whole situation.

you cant get onto her blogs now. sad.

such a loser.

Nicky should show her penis.

blonde is ugly...it must be paris.

he should have that excess skin removed, the sag is way unattractive.

That guy's got some nice giblets. yummm!

(I hate when people say crap like "he's not packing much" that's usually said by someone who ain't packing at all. G.A.L.)

That guy needs a testicle tuck....BAD

@37--from the looks of her "camper" on her photo site, she's a terrible 'housewife' , fucking place is a mess...

@37--from the looks of her "camper" on her photo site, she's a terrible 'housewife' , fucking place is a mess...

Nicky doesn't look like she is enjoying anything...ever...even in these photos.

I enjoy penises that stand inside me.

"bumper sticker girl". Ha, ha, ha.

Instead of referring to my receptionist as a Mexican, I now have a new moniker.

The only thing that's offending me is that naked chick's lower-back-moustache. Arse Antlers. Call it what you want. Generic-2004-soccermom-tattoo.

if ACDC, saw this they would change the lyrics.

"I've got small balls
I've got small balls
And they're such small balls
Dirty small balls
And he's got small balls,
And she's got small balls,
But we've got the smallest balls of them all!

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!"

48--
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
And everybody comes and comes again

47--I call them "Tramp Stamps"

I just love the fact that Nicki is standing 2 feet from the guy in a skimpy outfit and she can't even get a rise out of him. Damn, she is Man-repellant.

Yeah that ass tattoo is nasty.
I bet James can relate to the guy on the right. Ha! No one calls me a whore unless they PAY ME!

that girl has a melancholy looking ass, it almost looks like it wants to cry or something.

Yes, I was reading on SJTLQ's blog yesterday that she--get this--compiled CD's with documentation of all the harrassment--complete with ISP's, and is sending copies to the owners of the offending websites, AND TO THE FBI. No joke. I just about rolled outta my seat with that one. I was actually feeling a bit sorry for her, until I read her latest post. She's entering self-portraits to some selfportraitchallenge.net whose theme this month is to capture pictures that "Look beyond the surface of your life, dig into your imperfect self and reveal it to us. I want to see the down and dirty you, the messy, gross and ugly you, the side of yourself that you always try to hide, give us some insight into your dreadful secrets. This can be your physical self or your personal space or within your wider life. Be not afraid!" Well I find it a bit hypocritical that SJ goes on to say that imperfections are what make us who we are, or something to that effect, which is all well and good, but a bit hypocritical because she's obviously had a nose job. Hmm.

Hey guys, do me a favor - if I wake up one day and my ballsack is twice as big as my cock, don't let me go out in public naked and pose for photos. Ok?

Nicky O -- it's like the Dew Drop Inn.

Okay, I'm not a scrotum connoiseur or anything, but those do remind me of expired rocky mountain oysters...

Oops, I just read that she hasn't had a nose job, SHE JUST PHOTOSHOPS most of her pictures that appear on her website. Much less hypocritical, eh?

Shrinkage! It's Shrinkage!

I could care less about the ass-hat with his cock out.

I prefer the babe with the tramp stamp.

Me likey!

" dig into your imperfect self... I want to see the down and dirty you, the messy, gross and ugly you, the side of yourself that you always try to hide, give us some insight into your dreadful secrets.!"

Well, let's see, there's the one of me performing the unlicensed kidney transplant....a winner for sure!

sonya, i cant even get on to her blog, how did you do it? she has WAY WAY WAY too much time on her hands. i cant believe her husband doesnt like, make her get a job or something. shes in her early 20's with no kids and does absolutely jack shit all day. amazing people are allowed to live like that. maybe if she worked, they wouldnt live in a disugusting trailer.

#47 - I used to call them "Targets".

@37 katie - I'm not harping on you here but for future referencecs, the Sarah "Jones" you speak of is Sarah "Jean".

I believe Sarah Jones was an outlaw in the old west... If memory serves me correct, she rode with the James Gang.

************ Go METS ************

katie, try going to selfportraitchallenge.net, then clicking on the "delectual" link under the picture of her EYE with the teensy wittle scar that she's so embarrassed of.

jrzmommy, I've got one of me shaving the dog's testicles. Dr. evil told me that a shorn scrotum is quite breathtaking, and seeing as how I don't have balls, that's the best next thing. Does that count?

Sonya--now that is ART!

That's not a penis, it's a thumb.
Look at Bonaduces thumb in the ad to the right of the pic... they're the same size!

that dude's doing the entire photoshoot while leaning up against a glory hole. impressive in a way.

#47 A.K.A. the tap off spot.

SJTLQ is going to send in a picture of herself naked and drunk surrounded by her headless Barbie collection she keeps hidden in the "dungeon", to which you gain access by lifting up a loose linoleum tile of her double-wide's kitchenette floor. The "dungeon" is wallpapered with old Prada and Dolce & Gabbana ads, but all the female models have SJTLQ's face pasted on them and any male model has Charles Manson's face pasted on. In a dark corner of the "dungeon" is one lonely little beat-up Gucci coin purse. She keeps it protected in a Tupperware cake storage container -- for it is her one and only designer accessory-- and she performs ritual/interpretive dances around the coin purse. So if you're ever riding in the backwoods of Maine and you hear "I Am a Barbie Girl" echoing around you on a full moon, you know SJTLQ is doing her thing with the coin purse.

ahhh good point. must.remember.sarah.jean

still cant get on her blog. oh well, someone shoulda copied and pasted that shit bc she is so lame its actually just hysterical. the FBI i am sure will stop trying to find terrorists in our midst so they can investigate who is harassing poor little trailer park sarah jean.

http://delectual.blogsplot.net/?cat=28

Enjoy Katie...

See, now, if this weren't Miami and his balls were high-n-tight? His dick would look that much bigger.

*ponders*

Nope, still don't care. Motion of the ocean and all that. He still needs to be in my room ASAP.

Funny how Nicky "ho" has the WORST. BODY. EVER.

She looks like a 5 dollar streetwalker at 500 dollar hooker convention.

here's the link to SJTLQ dogs blog, hilarious stuff.

http://mini.blogsplot.net/

#73

I was imagining how one of those "Cincinatti bowties"
would look on me.

Are my eyes playing tricks or does the blonde chick have a Cross inked just above the crack of her butt.

Interesting way to show your love of God.

The blond chick looks like she has an extra asshole at the top of her crack. Gross.

hehehe #77 yeah she can add to christ's suffering everytime she cleans her fetid shithole.

There has to be a special place in hell for this.

I'm just skeeved at how boney the blonde with the tattoo is. Ick! I mean, so NOT sexy.

I'm not ashamed to admit I had sausage for lunch.

JM I just read your #69 again, masterful and inspired.

also, get some help :)

Does that guy realize that his nuts hang unusually low? I don't have too much to compare it to, but I have never seen such saggy nuts!! I wonder if Paris got them in her mouth and forgot to let go or something.

you gotta feel sorry for the guy with his weiner out. there's no way you can get a boner with a naked pterodactyl and nikki hilton right beside you.

I can just imagine the business plan pitch-
"Okay, Nic, this is what we've gotta do for the opening. We've gotta get a bunch of really hot-looking 20-somethings. And then have them stand there in the nude, are you with me? Then, we'll have them look bored and miserable- Existential Angst- that's the theme, got it? And you'll stand there with them and you'll look bored and miserable, too!!! Am I brilliant? This is going to be such a statement! It will tell the whole world that no matter how young, tan, thin, muscular, hot-looking, and rich you are, you can also afford to be as miserable as the people starving on the other side of the planet! What's even better is, you're using your money and access to resources
to open up a luxury hotel-because there just aren't enough places for rich people to sleep- instead of helping people who need food, shelter and clothing! I'm a genius! I'm a genius!"
I'm pretty sure that's what was said.

His balls aren't unnaturally low, they are actually naturally low. lots and lots (most men) have low-hangers. they creep up when it is cold and relax when it is warm. So either you need to get laid more or take an anatomy class.

#85 you forgot the part when they said: "oh that's sooo hot, like totally"

I can't wait for the "Dateline" when before the hotel even opens, they go into the rooms with a black light...and if Paris has been there, I'd go with a few viles of Penis-illin.

http://www.thespinzone.com

I can't wait for the "Dateline" when before the hotel even opens, they go into the rooms with a black light...and if Paris has been there, I'd go with a few viles of Penis-illin.

http://www.thespinzone.com

oops...didn't mean for that double post....but I guess if it saves just ONE person from having to deal with the pain of VDs.....

http://www.thespinzone.com

OMG--Sarah-Jean Ballard. She goes on and on about her physical imperfections, yet plasters pictures of herself all over. What can scream, "Secretly I think I'm hot so here are my pictures, so you can tell me I'm wrong, and I'm really very, very beautiful, then my ego can be stoked for a bit" more than leaving pictures of yourself all over the net, saying you're not pretty and have a weird nose?

Asshat-in-Maine, that's who.

And have you noticed that she has RULES regarding comments--you leave the right kind of comments (AKA Kiss Sarah-Jean's mole-covered ass), or I will erase your comments, because this blog is all about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and I am (lilac) Queen of this blog.

There, Sarah-Jean--Do your worst! Now I no longer need to worry about being arrested by the FBi for conspiring to train my dog to pee on Bush's leg!

http://www.moodogblog.com/images/bushpee.jpg

OK, so that's not my dog, but I love that blog! Sarah-Jean's blogs (all 428 of them) suck!

Naked men! Ack!

Bumper Sticker = Tramp Stamp

Yeah that's sum hotel...complete with the peeling blue paint in picture # 3.

I clicked the link to see the much talked about Sarah blog site--the big eyeball was on my screen and I had a terrible urge to stab it with a pencil. Alas I am opposed to stabbing my laptop screen because I'm not sure if my warranty has expired or not. I found her boring, trite and...well narcissism anyone?

I meant to type "dat's sum hotel" but I was still geeked out by the giant Sarah eye.

To the naked bastard.. is it really THAT cold outside?

@91 If you haven't traipsed over to her "The Fashionable Housewife" blog, you're in for a treat. She has an "Today's Outfit" section where she shows us what she's wearing for the day. She also has makeup application tips.

"Per request of one of the readers here, I have put together a “Makeup for Dummies” post! Now I am not in any way trying to give you the impression I am a makeup expert, ’cause I’m not! However, I always get compliments on my makeup… so I must know something."

Per the request of a reader my ass. Can we say EEEE-gooooo!

She also has a section on body shapes and what type of clothes you should wear to accent your figure/hide flaws. And if you're not sure, send her a picture of yourself and she'll be happy to tell you! I don't think I can handle all this saccharine sweetness! My face hurts from smiling! I can't stop talking in this sarcastic tone of voice it I wanted to! I think I need to go kill some kittens and puppies! Later all!

Okay I made the mistake of scrolling down on freaky Sarah's site. She effin put a picture of her pores on her site. Her PORES people. She was bitching about some split scar.

This woman is certifiable.

@96 - thanks for the makeup headsup - I spotted, I swear I did.
She always gets compliments, huh?

I can see it now, dawn breaks at SJ's house...
SJ: (pinning her husband to the bed, in full makeup, wearing a lilac flannel nightie that thankfully reveals nothing, slapping him with every word) "How do I look? Is my makeup great? Don't I look beautiful? Better say "YES"! BETTER SAY "YES"!"

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Now I'll just wait for SJ's process server.

#51, I know that was directed at me. Ha bigger than anything you can get. That guy isn't even white he's some kind of cuban or something.

He looks pretty white to me bubba. And since we don't have any Third Reich scientists to do a aryan purity content test he's gonna stay white.

Not a tighty-whitey, though, fer sure.

Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low????

I made Sarah Jean promise me to never EVER let her IP address show up in the log on this site, and in return for her solemn vow I would then remove my Sarah Jean blogspot site. I am a cruel bastard, yet I am not above mercy. Although I did post a personal ad for her to try to get her laid, but I was just being helpful.

And afterwards I did fuck her dog.

I can't hate on her entirely. It was the genuine rage she developed in me that allowed me to band together with some very twisted mother fuckers and smote her. And, as you all know, I loves a good smote. And now I am buddies with some of the most off-beat people on the planet. And that makes my giblets tingle.

Ferret,
If you really cared you'd send her dog a case of peanut butter so he'd have his own supply.

Extreme peanut butter?

Yep, saw the fahionable housewife. Sorry, Ferret, I know you've made your peace with her, and that's awesome, but I...just...can't! She one of these stupid young women who wanted to be Britney Spears' best friend, that makes me wonder what the women of '70s went through Women's Lib for! She gets on my tits!

Looks like the chunky monkey vampire fake-goth chick got bored and booked, too, so she never had to get smitten. Smoten? Smited? Plus 10 Smited!

who is this freak of nature Sarah Jean.

i must have missed her,why oh why did i go to med school.damn my infernal need to help others it alwasy bites me in my FUCKING ass.

Home schooled?Daily outfit posts?Make up tips?Deep parts of people?Getting the FBI involved?having her daddy write nasty letters?she cant be married people.she just cant be.

If i could have one wish before i die,it would be to see this womans site.

Or is she an urban legend?

Please someone show me HOW.

I HATE that stupid lower-back tattoo the girl has. Is there anything more pathetic than seeing that on a girl? Someone called it tramp-stamp above, that's too kind a phrase.

Seeing it on a guy, maybe, but that's still close.

#106 - I call it a 'Cum Catcher'. Hehe.

Sarah Jean....what am I going to do with you?

You PROMISED not to come back here, and now I see you have been lurking here again.

You know you love the attention! Come on baby, give me some sugar.

How is your mom? How are things at the campground? Dance Studio? Trailer?

boink!

That guy must be a gay or something for not having a boner. Either that or he gets laid a lot.

NICE JOB CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So THAT'S why they call it a wee wee. I'm actually a little embarassed for the guy.

I'm too lazy to read all of the comments, but has anyone pointed out that the guy standing in front of the gorgeous naked blonde does NOT have an erection? That's great if they want to promote Nicky O's as a gay bath house.

One Hilton is bad enough. Your making the sister even more of a celeb whore by adding fuel to the fire. :-)

http://www.digital-six.net

One Hilton is bad enough. Your making the sister even more of a celeb whore by adding fuel to the fire. :-)

http://www.digital-six.net

ewww saggy balls.
and she is the "classy" sister?
what a joke

MY EYEEEEESSSS.....AHHHHH....MY EYYYEESSSSSSSSS.

Not Safe For Work? Try Not Safe EVER!

Looks like the other dudes told him, take your speedo off first then we'll take ours off. Trust us, you're hung like a horse.

#39, his balls unfortunately are not swing left and right, they're dragging the ground...ewwww, don't you think if they were going to have him stand around neknek they would have interviewed him naked or something...that is one set of very fugly balls, not that balls are all that handsome, but dang, his give new meaning to saggy ball sack.

That's not a small penis. What were you hoping for, seven inches flaccid?

... EDNA AND SARAH JEAN ...

Edna, I just checked out your site, that is some crazy shit! You are pretty cool - for a churched-out nut job. Thanks for the Sarah Jean archive. Top notch work. Did Shaun help you with it?

http://ednas-gonna-smote-you.blogspot.com/

Wow, I haven't been here in ages and when I visit I see penises(small) and nutsacks (large) and skinny girls with weird vertabrae growing out of their asses. I guess you take the good with the bad at this freakshow. Thank God Nicky wasn't naked is all I have to say. Good job superfish!!!

Now I remember why Im a vegetarian.

hey - at least he got the balls to hang what looks to be evenly... most balls swing from side to side and look like elephant skin. I don't know, I'm a woman, I've just seen alot of balls recently, especially old man balls... BALLZ... at least I have my own set to play with BALLZ... they come in different flavors from the sex store BALLZ... nicky has 'em... don't you?

she's just trying to take some of the attention that paris gets all the time